Chapter 5: 1 Step Back, 2 Steps Forward

Four weeks in and things were not going as expected. Mayer had expected me to be at a hundred kilometers (about sixty-two miles) by now, but I was barely over sixty kilometers (about thirty-two miles). Even with the supernatural food I was eating, the Stick, and oasis keeping me from falling apart: I was still falling apart. The issue was that, without the Stick, I could travel, maybe, thirty kilometers (about eighteen and half miles) without slowing down. It was all downhill after that.

I couldn't run all day and night anymore. I had to train in over a dozen different fields and Mayer couldn't afford to keep me only running. Had we dedicated all these weeks to running I'd be at my goal already, but that would mean only have two months to cram everything else. We could only hope that by the end of November I'd reach my running goal. If not, well, shit got complicated.

See, the weather doesn't function correctly around these parts. From what I remember from ecology class, deserts next to mountains have low rain/snow during the winter. Cold, but next to no snow. Not here, mid to late November was when the desert plunges to subzero temperatures and it started to snow like mad. Then it would be an issue of running in a frozen hellscape instead of a burning one.

Why does the weather here work the way it does? I have no fucking clue. The fact that I occasionally see scorpions the size of dogs tells me I should suspend any higher thought processes and keep running for my life.

What didn't help was the day after I started training with the twins... Mayer decided to strap weights on my body. A ten-pound (4.5 kg) vest and five-pound (2.26 kg) ankle and wrist weights, which he kept increasing every week. I was now wearing a thirty pound (13.6 kg) vest and fifteen pound (6.8 kg) limb weights. I argued that maybe, just maybe, that could be the reason why my progress was slowing down.

But Mayer's counterpoint was that, more likely than not, I would carry some type of equipment or even a person. If I couldn't run while encumbered I would be at a huge disadvantage. I couldn't argue with that because, if I can, I'll carry enough supplies into the Hunter Exam to put the average soldier to shame.

We both knew we were very much abusing the magical resources we had at hand. My joints screamed bloody murder while running and training, but quick applications of the Stick fixed that. I wonder how bad using the Stick was on my body. There had to be a catch to everything, but with what my training schedule looked like we had no choice:

6 hours of running with Mayer.

Rest and eat.

6 hours of training with Clyde split into boxing, wrestling, and lifting weights.

Rest and eat.

6 hours of training with Kalvin split into kickboxing, knife fighting, and stretching/acrobatics.

Rest and eat.

6 hours more hours of training with Mayer. 3 hours of sword training and 3 hours of survival/wilderness training.

Rinse and repeat.

It was madness. A hell the likes of which I wouldn't put on my worst enemies. Compounding everything was the fact I wasn't much of a fighter. The twelve-hour block of training with Kalvin and Clyde was the worst thing I had ever experienced in my entire life...

...

"You are moving too much!" said Clyde as he smacked the rope under him with one hand and waved the other in annoyance. Another jab from Kalvin smashed into James' unguarded nose as the taller man laid against the ropes. The newly minted red-head was doing his best to switch to blocking instead of dodging, only to receive a brutal combination of body punches that left him open to an uppercut to the chin.

"No! Now you are simply standing there! Move just enough and block when only necessary! You cannot let yourself stay against the ropes! Get out of there!"

James responded by clinching Kalvin, only to be spun around by the stocky teenager like a dance partner. Suddenly James was in the center of the ring being hit by a hook to the head, followed by a blow to the body. His form was covered in blood and bruises, with more being added by the second.

The red-head grabbed on to Kalvin for dear life, tightly holding the younger boy with all his might. He tried laying his entire body weight on him to slow his opponent down, but in truth, it was because his legs barely had any strength to stand on. This did little to stop Kalvin from whipping uppercuts to his body with the speed and brutality of machine gunfire.

Just as James was ready to fall, the bell to the round sounded. He slumped to a nearby rope before draping himself over it like laundry, "Give me the Stick! Hit me before!-, oh god-MMM"

Kalvin's pugilistic punching bag clamped his hands over his mouth to stop his stomach from regurgitating what food he had eaten before training. Tumbling and falling over through the ropes, he managed to hobble over to the bucket that had become a common fixture near the ring...

...

...Their style of training was to quickly show some techniques in a few minutes, drill them just as fast, then beat the shit out of me. Or manhandle me in the case of wrestling.

I almost lost my left eye via a wooden training knife by Clyde. They had no sense of build-up. They just started at one hundred percent and hoped I picked up something.

These were my thoughts as soaked in Briannaisa's oasis, my body looking like one large bruise. Welts and swelling covered my head so completely I bet I looked like Sloth from the Goonies. I couldn't help but worry as I looked up at the cloudy sky beyond the treetops. If the only thing I learned was how to take an ass-beating, the Hunter Exam was as good as over for me.

"Usually you're asleep by now. What's on your mind?" I turned to the voice. It was Briannaisa. She was sitting on one of the large rocks that decorated the front of Mayer's home. Claudette was next to her with an empty tray of food that I had just finished annihilating. I really wanted to ask if she was blind, but I decided not to.

"Just frustrated is all. The twins' way of teaching isn't working for me. I'm doing fine in everything that isn't strictly combat. I'm becoming stronger, faster, even my agility is increasing: but fighting sucks. The only thing I'm learning is how to be a better punching bag."

Brianaissa nodded, "How is sword training coming along?"

"Uhh, actually I'm doing pretty well. I'm learning it faster than knife fighting," my left hand unconsciously touching the area around my left eye, "If Clyde had any less control, or had I moved a centimeter or two closer, I'd be missing an eye right now."

Claudette looked at Briannaisa, than turned to me with a look of understanding for speaking, "We've known Kalvin and Clyde for a few years. They're genius athletes, things come easy for them. But teaching is different. That's something that takes time and experience."

Brainnaisa nodded in agreement as she rested her head on her hand, annoyed, "Pfft. Those two couldn't train a dog, let alone a person! They get everything so quickly that, if you asked them how they did a technique, they'd say, 'You just do it!'" She then mimicked their habit of smiling so well that I laughed.

"I mean I tried asking Mayer to teach me instead. He works on technique and what I'm doing wrong. Whatever sparring we do is light; most of the time we're just drilling for hours. But he said he can't train me twenty-four hours a day." I sighed, even Mayer had his limits.

I tapped my chin as a thought came up, "I mean, I'm not having trouble with survival training or anything. But every time I try to do what the twins tell me, it never works."

The brunette maid shook her head, "You're probably overthinking things when sparring, it's a habit a lot of new students have when starting out. And you're too much of a thinker. Sometimes you have to let go of trying to be perfect and do things that work for you."

Claudette nodded, "Yeah! But don't you think they're going too hard on him Bri? Evira only let us spar after a month of drilling technique. Maybe it's like that?"

"What do you mean 'Det?" Briannaisa said as she turned to her partner in maiding.

"Well, ya' know how some people learn differently? He might be better at practicing something over and over again. Kinda' like you are!" Claudette said cheerfully with a clap of her hands.

"Wait," I said pointing to the two of them in confusion, "I know you both work for Evira, but she trained you two? Wait, I thought you guys only started working for her a year ago?"

Briannaisa shook her head in annoyance, "Claudette, started working for the Boss a year ago. I started two years ago. As for training, yeah. She trained, and had people train, both of us for eight years."

I nearly stood up before remembering I was naked and stayed in place, my hands flying up to the universal gesture of 'what the fuck', "Eight years? How old are you guys anyway?"

Briannaisa raised an eyebrow, "It's rude to ask a lady about her age."

I rolled my eyes, "You talk like a man when you drop your 'proper act'! Shadda' up!"

Briannaisa and Claudette were becoming more comfortable around me, dropping their maid act. In the case of Claudette, not much of one...

In the case of Briannaisa... she didn't sound like a man per se (but why waste a moment to bug her?), however she spoke really casually when she stopped acting professional. Like someone back in my neighborhood would when she was letting her guard down. It felt like I was talking to someone from back home. It felt nice talking to someone that didn't sound like English was their second language.

Claudette grabbed Briannaisa by the waist before she could get a running start to do, what I expected was going to be, a running elbow drop.

The blonde little lady spoke up as she held the raging maid back, "I'm twenty-two if that helps! Calm down Bri!"

"See! Thank you, Claudette! Age is only number! And if your attractive, no number matters!" I applauded Clauddette. To add to Briannaisa's annoyance.

The vein growing on Briannaisa's head looked like it threatened to burst, but her demeanor quickly changed as she pursed her lips, "Oh, so you think we're attractive, huh? Guess you have some taste after all."

I had a comeback right at the tip of my tongue about bad baloney sandwiches, but decided not to since I'd be machine-gunning Claudette in the process. She's been nothing but nice and positive to me this whole time. Briannaisa was different, she was just fun to mess with.

I blew air from my mouth as I looked up to think about my response, "Fine. I'll answer your question if you answer mine. Hell, I'll tell you my age too. Bet that'll surprise ya'!"

They both looked surprised at how nonchalant I was, "What? Oh, you think I'm going to turn into a stuttering mess? I'm an introvert, not bereft of social behavior. It comes with being twenty-eight." I waited for their disbelief at my age, but found nothing.

We looked at each other for a moment before my face grew confused. The two looked between each other than looked back at me. Claudette spoke up, "Hmm, you look like you're in your late twenties, early thirties."

Briannaisa smirked before blowing a raspberry, "Not much of a surprise! You were acting all cool about it too!"

I was confused, before I remembered what happened to my face. That instantly brought down my mood.

It must have been plain to see on my face as Briannaisa spoke up, "Jeez, lighten up. Didn't know your age meant so much to you, old man!"

Claudette realized it sooner than Briannaisa though, she was there to see my freak out, "Oh yeah... I guess your face is still a sore subject."

It was. Even if by any measure I looked a bit more attractive. I had to grudgingly admit my face went from a solid seven to maybe an eight and a half.

It infuriated me. I'd know some people who would be happy to have a 'model's face', but that's not me! I liked my face. Weirdly enough, I liked messing with people using my young, baby face! Now I felt lost. Like I had to rebuild my entire identity from the ground up.

Briannaisa hissed like she was in pain before replying, "Oh. Sorry about not telling you earlier."

My eyes narrowed in confusion before I remembered that I hadn't discussed it with her. The past week was a blur of exhaustion and training. I shook my head and waved my hand, "Mayer told me it was on him. Besides, it's not anyone's' fault other than that bitch." They both winced at how hard I barked that curse, but I didn't care. At this point, I didn't care if that stupid goddess heard it herself.

"Ehhh... You still haven't answered Bri's question!" Claudette said in a masterful display of changing-the-subject fu.

"Ah. Right, yeah you guys are solid nines, ten, whatever..." I waved my hand and turned away like I was dismissing, well, a bunch of maids. From the faces they made, it was obvious they didn't know whether they were being complimented or insulted. It was a little of both, to be honest. It was funny seeing them not know how to react.

I shrugged, "What? You're both attractive. It's not the sole metric for women. I'm not a teenage boy that's going to be embarrassed for calling a woman beautiful, but I'm not going to treat them any differently than an ugly one or a man, or whatever. Besides, kinda hard to give a shit when I got the Hunter Exam hanging over my head like a guillotine. Your turn, what's your age? Spill!"

I could see her digest what I said as she frowned and nodded, "Ok, that's fair. I'm twenty-three."

"Ah, you guys looked young. TENDA' SKIN, SOFT MOIST BODIES. PUT THE LOTION IN THE BUCKET O' YER GET DA' HOSE!" I made the ugliest face imaginable as my jaw jutted out in a horrific smile. My hands raised above my head as I wiggled my fingers, making myself as creepy and gross as possible. They jumped back a few feet ,yelling insults at me before, I burst out laughing.

"No wonder it's easy to get under your skin, 'Naisa, gahaha."

The brunette looked like she was going to blow steam out of her ears before tilting her head, "'Naisa?"

"Yeah, Bre-Uh-Nah-Suh is too long. And I'm gonna call you Clauds, Claudette!"

Claudette pumped a fist in genuine excitement, "Yay! Wait, what should I call you?"

"Both of you can call me Jay, like the letter 'J'. That's what my friends back home used to call me." I gave them a thumbs up.

Claudette's eyes opened wide, "Does that mean we're your friends?!" Her voice filled with excitement and anticipation. I couldn't help but laugh, "Yeah, you guys are the first people I met outside of Mayer and Evira, remember?"

Briannaisa shrugged, "I don't think we know you enough to be frien-" She was cut off by Claudette who grabbed her friend by the shoulders, lifted her up, and shook frantically like a rag doll, "Don't be a spoilsport Bri! He wants to be our friend!" The brunette was making a noise similar to a shrieking bat while Clauds was making a sound similar to 'squee'.

I laughed as I looked down at the water to see no reflection, only a dark blue sheen. I wondered why I didn't realize the change in my face earlier before, but I guess it made sense now. Briannaisa's oasis wasn't really water, just some kind of projection. I bet Evira taught them a lo-

An idea just clicked into my mind.

Me, Briannaisa, and Claudette stood in front of my seven-foot and some change trainer. His eyes glided over us as he chewed over my idea.

"You wish for Brinnaisa and Claudette to train you as well?" He said without any offense, which came as a relief.

"Yeah. They were trained by Evira, right? They're Hunters too and know how to fight. I feel like they'll teach me more than your sons will. No offense to your kids."

He looked down at me while rubbing his chin with his right hand. With barely any notice, his left arm darted forward as he flicked a spray-can sized finger at my head. Before I could even think, my head moved out of the way of his attack by sheer instinct. I stood their hunched under his massive digit, wide-eyed in confusion.

The giant then slowly flicked my right shoulder, hard. My shoulder erupted in a dull pain as I grabbed it with my other hand. I looked up in annoyance at Mayer, "The hell Mayer?!"

"It seems their training is working as intended. At the beginning of your training, my first attack would have landed. My second attack would have broken your shoulder," he looked at me with something in his eye.

Eh... I hoped it was mercy, lots of mercy.

I rubbed my dead shoulder as sensation slowly came back, "I guess that's progress. I can't really tell since you're all less human and more monstrous, superhuman things."

He nodded in agreement, "We are all far beyond what the Hunter Exam will hold, yes. My children are the weakest here, but even they are more than capable than the participants you will face in the exam."

My eyes shot up in surprise. I turned to Briannaisa and Claudette before turning back to Mayer, "I know looks can be deceiving and all, but your kids look like humanoid pitbulls."

He raised an eyebrow in confusion, "They are but children. Only sixteen."

I somehow managed to do a spit-take without liquid in my mouth as I stared at Mayer in horror, "SIXTEEN?! I thought they were nineteen! You know they curl four hundred and ninety-five pounds, er I mean about two hundred and twenty four kilos in each arm, right? What am I saying?! You probably curl that with your pinky!"

"Indeed. I could curl that weight with my pinky, but my sons are going through puberty. They are tiny, delicate things. In fact, I was much larger at their age. They must have inherited their mother's frame."

Two horrifying images crossed my mind. The first was of the twins being the size of Mayer, with their current energy levels and teenage personalities. The other was their mother being a gorilla with a blonde wig. I blanched.

Mayer looked at me with a raised eyebrow, before speaking, "Back to the question at hand. I assume Briannaisa and Claudette are of agreement as well? They will be teaching along with their current duties," he turned to the two of them before continuing, "you both have much on your plate. Will you two be able to handle this on top of it all?"

And on that day my heart grew three sizes bigger as the duo nodded without hesitation, fire burning in their eyes. Mayer chuckled before addressing the three of us, "Very well. James, you have been doing quite well at survival and sword training. I will give this group three hours to train as you see fit. But if your progress suffers, James, I will take back those three hours. Understood?"

All three of us nodded, with Claudette jumping in the air. Mayer calmly coughed into his oversized hand to bring our attention back to him, "You still have sword training to finish. Here," He tossed a weighted practice sword at me, my arms struggling to stop the heavy stick from falling to the ground.

He didn't stop with the weights strapped to my body, oh no, every week the sword went up ten pounds (4.5 kg) as well. The fake sword weighed thirty pounds (13.6 kg) by now, and it would only increase every week. At least he mostly drilled technique and held back when sparring, unlike his demonic children.

"You two. Come find us in three hours." Mayer said to the two before leading me into his enormous barn. I waved bye to my two new friends (and the only people close to my age) and new trainers. Claudette cheerfully waved back while Brainnaisa gave me an evil smirk and a thumbs down. I rolled my eyes, turned around, and followed Mayer to the stone circle in the middle of the barn and to begin my practice.

Mayer had his arms crossed as he waited for me to get into the circle. When I finally did, I got into my stance and mentally prepared myself for the next two hours. Legs bent, back straight, sword forward. Right hand at the top of the hilt and left hand at the bottom of the hilt. Not too tight, but not too loose.

"Unterhau," Mayer said low and forceful.

I shifted my fake wooden sword up towards the sky in a slash. My training weapon stopped at the top as I pointed it forward at my imaginary opponent. He continued commanding me into different attacks and guards for the next two hours...

Mayer nodded his head as I grabbed the correct pink plant from his palm. It was almost identical to the other two, but it had a reddish stem while the other two didn't. I took a bite out of it. It didn't taste too bad. Kind of bitter.

"Correct. The other two are not edible and will give you terrible diarrhea," the giant explained.

"Yeah, so Batesian mimicry," I said absentmindedly as I looked at the other two, "I wonder what kind of animals use that here."

Mayer grunted, "Batesian mimicry? I assume that is your world's Talrian mimicry."

I nodded as my answer. I turned to look at all the other plants we picked. A few I knew by sight like dandelions, sunflowers, and partridgeberries, but others were nothing I'd ever seen before. I don't think creepy little beans that move using tiny vines are from anywhere I know.

"I guess we're done with plants. It's been three weeks of nothing but finding, preparing, and cooking plants. And finding drinkable water," I rubbed my face as I felt the hairs on my chin that was becoming a beard. I really want to shave it, but I haven't gotten the chance yet, "What about setting up a camp and stuff like that?"

Mayer threw the noxious plants into the wind, "That will be at a later date, but next, we will begin hunting and tracking," he paused as he wiped his hands of pant debris before picking a plant off the ground.

The plant had petals that curved inward and up, with the color on the outside of the petals being white and the inside being blue.

"Last plant. What is this?" he said as he held it out to me.

"That's a Blue Priest. You can tell because it looks like a tiny priest praying."

"Good. What use does it have?"

"It's a medicinal plant. It's effective at treating various poisons that cause paralysis. Eating too much will cause a person to vomit though, so space out its use every three to four hours. It'll take twelve hours to cure most types of paralysis. Since it can induce vomiting, it can be used in case of swallowing something poisonous." I don't know how it did it, but I'm not going to doubt Mayer's knowledge.

My trainer nodded, "Good. We are done for today. As I promised, your training with Briannaisa and Claudette starts now."

Mayer pointed behind me. I turned around to find Naisa and Clauds walking up to us. I was surprised, we went two or three miles (3.2 to 4.82 km) into the woods to find these plants. I thought it'd be a bit harder to find us. And not as stealthily as they did: I didn't even hear a footstep or a broken twig. Claudette was holding a tray of food as always while Naisa was holding a large green bag, which made their feat even more impressive.

"Ya' know, at this point, I shouldn't be surprised by anything. But I am. How did you find us? I'd get lost in this place."

The trees were so thick and so close together that it's a wonder anyone could even walk through this forest. Scratch that, I'm surprised Mayer could squeeze through this forest.

Claudette shrugged, "Mayer marks the trees before he leaves the house. It makes it easier to find you guys."

My eyes narrowed. I don't remember him marking anything, though that was something he taught me to do if I were to travel somewhere unfamiliar. Did he scratch the trees with his hands? It was possible when he touched them while maneuvering around the tight trees... No, he didn't leave anything resembling even a scratch.

I grabbed my chin and looked down, "Was it footsteps? Mayer probably weighs as much as a baby bull," I said out loud, mostly to myself.

"No, he used his Ne-" before the Clauds could finish 'Naisa had cleared the distance between them so fast it looked like she teleported. Two hands were clamped over the blonde woman's mouth by her friend.

I stared at them, wide-eyed, "Wha-" I said before being cut off.

"He used his NEarby surroundings to leave marks on the trees and ground. It is not hard to see with experience and training," Briannaisa said so smoothly and calmly that I almost believed her for a second. Except for, ya know, the blatant hiding of information.

I narrowed my eyes and pointed at the two of them, "Ya' know, I'm not going to ask any questions. At this point, you're going to lie to me and slip up at it. I rather not have Mayer kill you two," I said.

I turned my head to my giant trainer who held a glare on the two that was somewhere between 'annoyed' and 'I will end you'.

Briannaisa looked at Mayer and turned from her olive skin color to ghostly white. Claudette was already pale, so the fact she became even whiter was a chameleonesque feat that I would probably never see again in my lifetime.

"I know the Hunter Association doesn't like people knowing about your magic, but aren't you guys a bunch of criminals," at that Mayer clenched his teeth in disgust before looking away. I guess I said something wrong, wait, he called himself a criminal when we started!

I turned around and opened my mouth, only for Naisa to place a hand on my shoulder and shake her head. I looked at her and frowned before sighing and letting it go. Maybe he accepts that he is a criminal, but that doesn't mean he likes it? Or was there something more? Damn mysterious people! Why can't you be open books! Preferably picture books!

Facing the maids I adjusted my wrist weights out of habit (they chaffed sometimes) and began, "So, we gonna' train? What do you guys have in mind?"

Claudette frowned and tilted her head, "Why do you call us 'use guys'?"

I mirrored her face, but added a dash of confusion to it, "Uh, no. It's 'you guys' as in a 'you group of people."

She shook her head, "Oh, but it sounds like your saying 'use guys' instead of you guys."

"But I'm saying you guys."

"There you just said it again!" pointed Claudette. Even Briannaisa was nodding.

Mayer spoke up from far behind me, "I believe he is saying, 'yous', which is both strange and incorrect."

Oh, now it makes sense, "I worked for a guy who moved from New Jersey to Michigan. He was Italian-American and spoke like that. I guess I picked up his way of speaking."

Everyone gave me blank looks. Well, the maids did, Mayer didn't care, "Are Michigan and New Jersey countries from where you come from?" said Naisa.

"Well no, it's like the United States of Saherta. Ya' know, like states that form to-"

Mayer's loud cough cut me off. We turned to see Mayer leaning against a tree as he looked at the three of us, "If you three are going to waste time speaking about nonsense, I will take back the allotted time."

Claudette looked dejected, but nodded her head and composed herself. She held out the tray of food and I took it and began eating. I listened to Naisa's lesson plan while the food took control of me.

"Ok, we're going to look over your hand to hand technique and see what your missing. We'll spend two hours on that before moving on to..." She swung the bag over her head and dumped its contents to the ground. Sprawled all over the floor were a handgun, a hunting rifle, and enough ammo fight a squad of soldiers.

I nearly spit out my food as I flinched away from the barrel of the guns. The only reason I didn't turn my food into projectiles that I couldn't. Stupid magic food. I did my best to mime my feelings of 'what the fuck' using my eyes and face.

"Ah, don't worry. It's all unloaded. I do know some gun safety." She said with a mischievous grin.

I countered with a flat look as I shoveled this purple pasta into my mouth. It was delicious, but also had meat with insect legs on it, so thank god for magic bullshit.

After an extra minute of polishing off the plate of food, I placed it back on the tray and stood up. I pointed to the guns with a skeptical look, "I don't want want to argue that guns aren't useful or deadly, but that's exactly what I'm gonna' argue. I'm almost eighty percent certain Mayer is bulletproof, and fifty-fifty on whether or not you two can dodge bullets."

Mayer grunted, "Your right, I am impervious to small-arms fire."

If my eyes won't shoot out of their sockets from that response, I don't think anything will. I slowly turned around and gave Mayer a bewildered look, my eyes narrowing at how nonchalant he thought being bulletproof was.

He shrugged.

"If I have not sufficiently emphasized how different and dangerous this world is, I apologize. Sincerely."

Oh ok, Mayer is capable of sarcasm. Good to know. I did deserve that though. You would think after four weeks in I would be used to this weirdness by now, but nope. Shit, I thought I would be used to this by now.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the maids, "So you're going to teach me how to shoot?"

Briannaisa smiled and nodded, but I do not like that smile Sam-I-Am. I do not like it with green eggs and ham. My dislike grew as a pistol slowly came up to her head like Jaws coming up to the ocean surface...

"What the fuck are you doing with that gun..." I stammered out.

Her brilliant smile never changed as she pointed her firearm straight at me, "Oh, just getting a little payback.~" She said as cute and as sing-song as sickeningly possible.

"No, no, no!" I bravely said as I dived out of the way of a gunshot aimed for my head. As I laid on the ground with my hands over my head I thought to myself, 'Why god, why?'

Three more shots fired as I prayed for every angel in heaven. I felt three sharp stings on my back that made me rolling around, howling in pain. I truly thought I was dead until I heard snickering. I realized what was happening when I turned my head to see the maids holding in giggling before bending over in laughter.

"Not funny!" I said. She replied by shooting me in the ass as I laid there prone.

I darted up to my feet, rubbing my backside. I felt a tiny hole in my new sweatpants and was annoyed, "What the hell, are those rubber bullets? Those could still kill by accident!"

Mayer scoffed, "If those kill you at this point, then you were as useless as I thought you were."

I turned to Mayer with a pained, pleading look, "I thought we crossed that bridge, I thought you have faith in me now?!"

He rolled his eyes, "You did not die. Therefore you are not useless. This is quite clever Briannasia. I commend you."

Nasty (that was now my new nickname for her) nodded happily, "Thank you, Mayer. I thought he might come up against someone with firearms or long-range weapons. This will help him get the idea of how to avoid projectiles. DODGE!" I dived out of the way of another gunshot aimed at my head.

"Stop diving! If you're on the floor you can't move. You're open to another shot like this."

"OW, you fucking bitch that hurts like hell!"

"Oh yeah!? Take this! And this!"

"AGH GOD STAHP!"

Training went by fast. At the beginning of my fifteenth week I was a completely different person...

The day the maids began helping with my training was when everything started to click for me. Weeks flew by as all my focus was sucked into training. As October bled into November my worst fear came to pass. I began running through snowy wastelands so cold and terrible that Mayer had decided to call off my running early. I only reached eighty-eight kilometers. Eight weeks in and, just like that, no more running.

I was immensely disappointed... but not surprised. The amount of weight I had on by that point was nuts. By the time I stopped running I was wearing a seventy pound (31.7 kg) vest and thirty-five pound (15.8 kg) limb weights. Yet Mayer had refused to let me take off my weights during my runs, much to my annoyance. What kind of human could run at full speed with, essentially, another human on them? Then I realized who I was arguing with and promptly shut up.

That disappointment was quickly replaced by misery. Since I wasn't running anymore, Mayer replaced that time with survival training and increased my sword training to three hours. By this point, I was tracking, hunting, and killing animals. Normal animals like bears, deer, rabbits, wolves. Then beasts like Sabertooth Snow Leopards, Elephant Moose, and Maneater Hogs. Yeah, those creatures look exactly how you imagine them and are ten times worse to fight with only a wooden sword.

Twelve weeks in and I could finally fight back against Kalvin and Clyde. It was nice seeing the fruits of my labor bloom, only for them to be crushed by the understanding that the twins were holding back. Significantly. I found out when Kalvin repeated the same one-hit KO to my poor liver after I goaded him into going at me with full strength.

It was worse this time. The only reason I'm not dead was because of the liberal application of the Stick and Naisa's oasis. I found out personally the liver has vast regenerative capabilities. It can even recover from being ruptured. Fuck this world and the twins.

I didn't have as bad an issue during kickboxing, it seems Clyde was the nicer of the two. If only barely. It may have helped that I had seven inches on him and longer limbs. Far easier to kickbox if you could kick farther. Wrestling and knife fighting went fine, but the twins emphasized that these were backup options.

The twins demonstrated this when Clyde nearly crushed my wrists when I had him in a rear-naked choke. Then when Kalvin used the Stick to beat me senseless during a knife training spar. How he did this with something that heals me I had no idea.

Firearm training with the maids had gone very well. By this point, I could also shoot a pistol and a hunting rifle with proficiency. Also dodging bullets. Not actual live-fire, but rubber bullets that are way slower than real ones. The trick was to not physically dodge the bullet, but move out of the line of fire before the bullet even left. That is to say, I had to predict where they would shoot and move where they wouldn't. Let me tell you, way easier said then to learn.

Out of all the training I did, swordsmanship was my best skill by far. Mayer noticed I wasn't much of an instinctual learner like his children (aka prodigies), so he made me drill until my technique was flawless. By the twelfth week my weighted training sword was at a hundred and ten pounds (50 kg). That and the weights strapped to my body made moving it a herculean task.

I was proud of my progress.

But that was three weeks ago. This week was my last week of training and the entire week beforehand had been hell. It was a week of non-stop survival training and combat. Yet, all that seemed pitiful compared to what I was being forced to do now.

Mayer had knocked me out and brought me deep into the forest and dumped me there. I had a note attached to my face with tape. It had these instructions:

Dear James,

This will be your last training exercise. You will need to find your way back to my estate by the end of the week. You will have three days to travel uninterrupted before my children and the maids hunt you. If you fail to come back by the end of the week, or are defeated and captured, you will fail the exercise and be unable to take the Hunter Exam.

Good Luck,

Mayer Domo

Oh god damnit.

A/N

Hey everyone! I hope everything is going well!

Just a few more chapters until dear James travels to the Hunter Exam.

But he must past his first real test as a wannabe Hunter!

See you guys next chapter!