Chapter 2: Unexpected Friends

CHAPTER 2: Unexpected Friends

"Alright," Myles gave his brother the rundown of their plan, "You carry the snake up to my lab's window, open it, and toss me my experimental hover shoes. Y' got it?" After Artemis came back, he and Myles started sharing the laboratory Myles was always trying to sneak into, under the condition they don't try to peek at each other's research.

"Yeah, Myles. I won't let anyone see me, either!" Beckett raised an eyebrow at him. "How do I open the safe, again?"

"I coded it to both of us, so your eyes should work for it. You have to blink twice, pause for three seconds, then wink once with your right eye. Like this." Myles demonstrated, blinking twice to represent his and Beckett's eyes, pausing for three seconds to represent the three years Artemis was missing before they met him, and finally winking with his right eye to represent the one dark blue eye which was actually human. He swore that if he ever made a teleportation device, accidents like that would never happen! Then again, it would be cool if he and Beckett switched eyes: then he'd be more like Artemis, and he and his twin would actually have something in common for a change! "If you succeed, I'll letcha have first dibs on the snake."

"Really? Thanks!" Beckett beamed at him. Then, his gaze shifted to the branch next to Myles' shoulder, and his eyes widened. "Ooh, look. A caterpillar! How do we tell if its poisonous, again?" Beck always did like caterpillars.

"Come on, Beck, focus. Think of the snake."

"Oh, right! Hand it over, and I'll start climbing." They started lifting the snake, Myles struggling a little because it was so massive, when they heard it talking!

"Leave me be," said the snake. It sounded weary. Myles' jaw dropped. How was this happening? Did the snake learn English somehow? Did it know what it was saying, or was it just like a parrot? Maybe it was some sort of escaped experiment from a secret lab somewhere! It couldn't have been Artemis'…could it? Beckett simply set his end—the head—down gently.

"Oh, my gosh! Are you okay?" Beckett asked the large snake as if he had just bumped into someone in the streets. "Sorry for wanting to eat you." He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out some gummy bears, offering them with his trademark innocent smile. "Here's some candy, if ya want it!" The snake shook its earthy-colored head, turning down the human candy.

"Snakes don't eat gummy bears, Beck." Myles explained. "Where did you come from?" he asked the snake, dark blue eyes full of curiosity.

"I escaped from a zoo in England," the serpent told them, "and I tried going to my homeland…but after escaping the authorities I hid in a strange contraption, and ended up here." His speech was slow and almost hypnotic, and his 's'es were accented and drawn out, as though he were hissing.

"Oh," Beckett's brow furrowed, deep in thought about something. "So, you used to live in England, but now you're stuck here?" The snake nodded 'yes'.

"Well, you seem to be in bad condition," Myles analyzed. "We thought you were dead!" The snake's head turned to him. "We'll help you out by treating you 'til you're well, then we'll get you back home to Southeast Asia!" he knew from his favorite collection of encyclopedias where Burmese pythons came from, and he was sure he could smuggle one snake to its natural habitat.

I own neither Artemis Fowl nor Harry Potter.

I used the film's Burmese python rather than the book's boa constrictor. The latter are often bred in captivity and are known as the "common boa", so the Burmese python—native to tropical South and Southeast Asia—seemed like a better storytelling breed for the scenario I set up here…That, and I think its just cooler than a common boa.

Talking to snakes is unlikely to show up again, since this is basically my way of setting up the crossover's introduction.