Chapter 34

People had been whispering all week. In class, in the halls, and at lunch people stared and pointed at us. Everyone was convinced that Jordan hit me, he'd done great to ignore it but I felt like even though my bruise was gone that I was walking around with a big neon sign on my head.

Winter break gave a welcome rescue, at least for now. Christmas is in three days and then Jordan's parents are taking him to Colorado for a skiing trip for the rest of break. His parents offered to let me come but we both thought it best I stay.

"I'm surprised Jordan isn't here today," Mr. Marsh rests against the counter.

"He's packing, he leaves for Aspen Christmas night. He's going to pick me up after the shift and we're going to go out and have dinner, look at lights."

"Sounds like fun, did he get you anything?"

I chuckle, "I hope not. I told him not to."

"Did you get him something."

"Maybe," I don't look at him, I know where this is going.

"So you can get him something, but he can't get you anything? Is that really fair?"

"He gets me stuff all the time, it's my turn to give him something."

Mr. Marsh chuckles himself into a coughing fit, "Fair enough kid, just don't expect him to listen. Us guys, if we want to get our girl a gift, we do, plain and simple. So what'd you get him?"

"I framed a couple of the pictures from the night of the dance, I realized there weren't many pictures of us and we had fun that night, I thought it'd be nice. Thank you for printing those out by the way."

He nods before disappearing into the back room. Our conversation directed my thoughts to tonight with Jordan, his present is in my backpack, I didn't have paper so I used an old newspaper. Hopefully it looks at least half decent and not like trash. The plan is to look at Christmas lights in his neighborhood, we're giving each other our presents but not opening them until Christmas morning. I hate to admit it but I know Mr. Marsh is right, I know Jordan got me something, and I know I'll love it.

I want today to be over, things have actually been pretty good. No school, no Dominic, no gossip. Yeah, dad's been drinking heavier than usual, and has been very aggressive but without school it's easier to avoid him by going out with Jordan all day. I feel an ache where I have a rather fresh bruise, it's in my side so thankfully I haven't had to explain it to anyone but Jordan.

I pull out my phone and wait, hoping to get a call or text or something. Jordan hasn't said much today, we fought about my dad and both walked away less than happy. He still wants me to call the police, but I'm too scared to risk it.

He texted me this morning saying we were ok and we're still going out tonight but it's been radio silence since then. I almost feel nervous for tonight, I don't know if he's still upset or if he'll bring it up.

I want time to go faster, yet I don't want to move at all. My hope is Jordan will text me and give me some clue as to where we stand and how tonight will go. I have another hour until he's supposed to pick me up. Fear and nausea sink into my stomach.

"Are you sure we're ok?" My fingers are quick to type and press send.

Every second that passes without a response causes more insecurities and dark thoughts to invade my mind. Is he bored with me? Does he hate me? Did I do something wrong?

Mr. Marsh comes out front to restock, I can see him out of the corner of my eye. He's watching me and clearly looks concerned, but doesn't say anything. Maybe I should be prepared to just go home after the shift and not see Jordan the rest of break. I can drop his present off with Rosie after they leave for the airport.

My phone starts ringing, I don't even take a second to look at the caller ID before answering, "Jordan?"

"No," My heart sinks, "It's Dominic. My parents wanted me to call you, could you babysit tomorrow night. I know it's probably bad timing, right before Christmas and all, and they understand if you can't they just wanted me to ask."

"Umm, yeah, sure I guess. What time?"

"Four, I know it's earlier than normal but dad forgot he has a lame Christmas party he has to be at. He and mom are going to be out pretty late and they didn't want to bring Em to an all nighter."

"Ok, I'll be there," I go to hang up when his voice comes through again.

"You seemed really hopeful that I was Jordan, is there trouble in paradise? Guy's a bigger douche than I thought if he hits you and ignores you."

"He didn't hit me, I tripped after he dropped me off. Everyone needs to stop saying that. And he's not ignoring me, I have to go."

I hang up before he has a chance to say anything else. I watch my hands shake as I put my phone away.

Jordan isn't ignoring me, he's packing. Right?

The next hour is filled with thoughts like these, questioning what was real and what wasn't. Constantly checking my phone for any calls or messages.

Was Dominic right? Is he ignoring me? He couldn't keep it up for long if he was, we have class together. He's not ignoring me. He's not that kind of guy, and I'm just sitting here going in mental circles.

"Rhea, kid," Mr. Marsh is in front of me, hand on my shoulder, "It's time for you to clock out, everything ok?"

I feel like the room is spinning and my throats closing, but I nod. I somehow manage to strangle out some words, "I'm going to... I'll be outside waiting for Jordan."

I move quickly and clumsily to gather my things and brush out the door. His car isn't out back waiting for me, aside from my truck the back parking is empty.

I feel my heart break a little and my anxiety go through the roof. Sliding my back down the wall, I sit and cry in the gravel. He's never late. He's never been late before to pick me up. I still haven't heard from him.

Fifteen minutes of waiting go by. I've run out of tears and I'm about ready to jump in my truck and go. Sitting in the gravel, with my face buried in my arms, I hear crunching. Tires. A car.

My head shoots up when I hear a car door close. I see Jordan with an apologetic smile as he walks over to me. It takes all of three seconds for me to stand and run into a hug with him.

He almost falls backwards, I hug him so hard. I feel the sobs start again.

"Hey, whoa what's going on are you alright?" His voice is full of panic as he wraps an arm around me and pets my hair.

"Where were you?" I feel like I'm choking as I talk, "You didn't text me at all, you weren't responding... You weren't here when I got off... You..."

He pulls me back and cups my face, "Hey, shhh I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you, I'm so sorry I just," He rolls his eyes, "I was an idiot who lost his phone while packing, and then by the time I found it, it died and my charger was missing too. I didn't realize it was getting late, my phones charging in the car I didn't realize you were texting me. I'm sorry."

I'm still shaking, and sobbing, "So you weren't ignoring me?"

That catches his attention really quick, "What? No of course not, where would you get an idea like that."

"Dominic called earlier I was hoping it was you, he still thinks you hit me. He was going on about you being a real jerk if you hit me and ignore me. I just couldn't get it out of my head, you weren't answering and I got scared."

He pulls me into a tight hug, causing his body to shake with mine, "I love you, I'm sorry I scared you. I wasn't ignoring you, I promise. I'm so sorry baby."

I clench his shirt in my fists, scared he'll disappear. He doesn't seem to mind, he just stands there holding me until I calm down.

"Still want to go look at lights?" He asks gently as he peppers gentle little kisses on my neck.

"Yes please," I whimper.

He gently pulls away and all the warmth I hadn't realized he gave me starts fading away. I shiver as we walk to his car, his hand tightly around mine.

"One of these days I'm going to beat the living daylights out of Dominic. He needs to stay the hell away from you, he's working up to something I swear."

I don't have much of a response so I just climb in the car and grab his free hand. I sit there trying to relax, telling myself over and over again that it's ok.

He wasn't ignoring you. He's here. Dominic doesn't know what he's talking about. It's ok, he's still here for you, he came.

Jordan keeps a hold on my hand as it gets dark and we drive towards his neighborhood. His part of town always has the best lights. He says his mom and dad went all out decoration even though they won't be home to enjoy it.

The vibration of the car is making me sleepy, but I force myself to sit up at the sight of all the pretty decorated houses. I see Jordan's house up the road, and I'm a little surprised when he parks in the driveway.

"I thought we were looking at the lights," I murmur as he gets ready to climb out.

"We are, but I thought we could walk and look, and my mom wanted to see you before our trip. I think she got you something."

I give a small uncertain, smile. I appreciate the gesture but I feel bad I didn't get anything in return.

"Maybe we should see them later? I really just want to spend time with you right now."

He nods as we get out of the car. Hand in hand we walk up the sidewalk and past all the beautiful, colorful, sparkling houses. Sometimes I'll find a really pretty display and go get a closer look, the whole time feeling Jordan watching me.

His block has about ten big houses on each side of the street and we look at all of them. I haven't gone to look at lights since I was a little girl and I miss it so much. Maybe it could be a tradition for Jordan and me.

As we get closer to his house we see his father outside with a string of lights.

"Dad?" Jordan sounds stunned, "What are you doing?"

His father gives us a quick glance before shaking his head, "One of the strings of lights went out, your mom wants it fixed before we leave. Could one of you hold this for me while I climb the ladder?"

"I can do it Mr. Mars," I offer, actually very happy to help and see his father involved in something festive.

"Thank you dear, it's nice to see you again," He gives a stiff smile as he hands me the string of lights and starts up the ladder. I watch him climb up to the top.

"The lights look amazing, did you do them yourself?" I ask, smiling up at him and the grand light display.

"Yes I did, with some help from Jordan," He unplugs the dead string of lights, leaving an empty space on their house, "I'm not home much so I make sure to at least be home to put up Christmas lights."

I look back around their house and yard. Not one light out of place, and nothing gaudy. Nice little candy cane lights lining the driveway, a nice Santa's Workshop on their grass, and perfect strings of light lining the outside of their house. You can see their tree elegantly decorated in the window. I miss having a tree.

"Could you hand me the lights Rhea?" His father reaches down to me, I hope I haven't left him sitting there while I day dream. I quickly hand him the lights and watch them join the thousands of other colorful bulbs on the street.

"It looks incredible," I say as Jordan comes to stand next to me and his father climbs down the ladder. We all stare at the lights in awe.

"Merry Christmas son, merry Christmas both of you," Mr. Mars pats his son's shoulder.

"Merry Christmas dad," Jordan smiles down at me, lowering his voice, "Definitely the best Christmas by far with you here."

I feel myself blush as we all go inside. I'm quickly greeted by Rosie and Jordan's mom. We all go sit by their tree, and I admire all the fancy ornaments, as well as the ones that were clearly made by Jordan when he was young. He blushes when his mom brings out pictures.

"Mom, come on. It's getting late and I'd like to give Rhea her present and get her home before dawn."

"Ah of course, you do that dear," His mother stands, frantically searching, "I need to get her her present and the camera."

I chuckle as Jordan goes under the tree and pulls out a small box. At least it's small.

"Remember, not until Christmas, and you have to call me," He wiggles his finger at me with a charming grin.

"Same goes for you mister," I dig in my backpack and pull out the three wrapped picture frames. I didn't know which picture to use.

His mother is soon back in the room, holding a fairly large, and very nicely wrapped box, "I can't wait for Christmas, I want to see her face. This is for you dear."

She puts the box in my lap and points a camera at me while I open it. I gasp when I see everything inside, I find an incredibly soft, dusty pink, fuzzy blanket, a $50 Barnes and Noble gift card, a large variety of candies, and an oversized knit-sweater with three stripes, brown, orange, and white.

I thank them all profusely, they say they didn't know what to get me and if I didn't like anything to say so. My only response was to hug them.

We stayed for another ten or so minutes before Jordan decides to take me home, promising to bring my truck back to me before the morning.

We sing along to the Christmas songs on the radio and he helps me into my window with the gifts, giving me one last kiss before we part ways for the rest of break.

I go to bed happy, feeling loved as I wrap myself in my new blanket and fall asleep.