Don't change the night

If I were her... I wouldn't even know which one to choose. Both choices make me suffer. I looked down. You can't always wear other people's shoes because they don't necessarily fit.

Roro Jonggrang chuckled, "You're confused too."

"Princess, if you try to refuse, you might be doomed," I whispered.

"Am I doomed to death?"

I lowered my gaze again. Telling me this was pointless. She was already desperate and would take Aunt Sumi's advice to thwart the construction of the temples.

I knew I had nothing to do with this, but I felt the need to help her.

"Where were you just now?"

That question brought me to my senses. I had fallen into a puddle of dirt and hadn't had time to clean myself properly. My feet stepped back, trying to reduce the possibility of this unpleasant odor entering her room.

"You feel uncomfortable too, right? Go and use my bathroom," she suggested.

My face looked up. Did she offer to lend me her royal bathroom? For a commoner like me? However, then I realized this situation felt familiar. Was Roro Jonggrang lending me her bathroom so I could be forced to dress like her?

I refused. I was reluctant to fall into the puddle of wearing noble clothes.

"I will just use the servant's bath," I retorted.

She propped up her chin with her elbows resting on the table. She tilted her head until her dangling gold jewelry moved. "Are you afraid I'll dress you up like a doll?" Roro Jonggrang asked.

I gave a small nod.

"There's no need to be afraid. I'm doing you a favor. There are many guards outside. You might be suspected if you wander outside."

"You must know that tonight the temples were built," she added, "I don't know how he did it."

We were silent for a while. The sounds of night animals could be heard along with the steps of the guards. I felt the need to help her, but I felt like I would be guilty if I told her about the end of her life. Or was I helping her by preventing her from taking Aunt Sumi's advice?

I frowned. My head was spinning.

"Citra, why don't you clean yourself up first, then we can talk? We'll spend the evening talking."

Roro Jonggrang gave me a suggestion with a smile.

***

After getting over the awkwardness of using the princess bathroom, I was now done cleaning myself. My still-damp hair was flowing behind my back. The cloth I wore earlier was changed into a nicer cloth with gold embellishments on the pattern.

I went back to her room, and we sat together. Roro Jonggrang kindly offered me dinner. I awkwardly accepted. A flash of the idea that I was being seduced appeared. She knew I liked to eat and deliberately served me delicious food like mangoes, chicken, and more.

"It's been a long time since I've eaten with someone else," she quipped after we finished eating.

"I'm glad to have a friend to talk to," Roro Jonggrang said again.

This time I just nodded. I didn't want to talk too much because I couldn't control my mouth.

"Citra, what do you think of the king?"

The sudden question made my mind go blank instantly. I blinked my eyes quickly. My fingers were intertwined under the table. Then, as fast as the wind my mind caught the direction of this conversation.

She was asking my opinion of him. If I said anything that implied I was attracted to the king, she would encourage me to charm him.

I smiled and replied, "Everyone's opinion is different because of the preconceptions we have."

"Ah, I see," she snapped, "But Citra, I have an unfavorable opinion of him. I am not the right person to accept what he has done. I won't forgive myself if I surrender myself to my father's murderer. I'm sure my father would never forgive me."

A weak, hopeless voice, and a sad look in her eyes. She looked pitiful and invited a hand to be extended to help her. I almost gave my sympathy.

I closed my eyes, took a breath, then let it out. I opened my eyes again. "I'm sure you'll find happiness, Princess," I told her.

"I don't want to be too happy. I just want to be able to get away from all this. I'm tired."

Aunt Sumi came in with two cups of water. She placed them on the table. However, she didn't leave right away. She sat near the princess and spoke, "Princess, don't be sad. I'm sure the heavens have a plan."

"Really? Are you sure I can live happily again? What if I can't be happy... "

Roro Jonggrang's choked voice made me sad. She shed tears, then sobbed. What a pity.

"This is my last day. I'd better not cry too much," she chided and rubbed her eyes roughly.

Roro Jonggrang picked up her glass, and raised it, asking me to do the same. "May the heavens have good plans for me," she whispered, "Citra, I'm glad we met."

I saw tears falling from her eyes. She drank it while crying. If I could help her, at least a little. I downed my drink quickly.

"Princess... if you want to stay happy, don't do anything," I whispered.

"What, what do you mean?"

My hand covered my mouth. My chest rose and fell with my labored breathing. I looked into her eyes.

"Don't make the night seem like morning... "