Chapter 272

"Quod me nutrit me destruit." Pearl said in Latin. It meant, "what nourishes me, destroys me."She was standing a few feet behind a barely recognizable Erik at the Art Institute of Chicago. He was facing Van Gogh's painting, "The Bedroom." He had on a hat and his glasses and normal clothes. People were standing all around him and didn't notice who he was. It was the same for Pearl. She had on no makeup and yoga pants with a hoodie. She had no security with her and it seemed Erik's was out of sight if they were there.

He turned around and looked at her. "Indeed it does." He said. She could tell he was crying. "You're here." He said.

"I am." She said back.

"Tell me, Pearl. Can our love endure without sacrifices, without our demanding everything from one another?" He's asked, once again quoting the Beethoven letter.

"No." She said. "They are both necessary for us."

"Then I give it you. Everything. And in turn, you must give me your sacrifice." He said, taking her hand and pulling her to him.

"And what sacrifice is that?" She asked.

"Your forgiveness." He said. "And your acceptance of the past with the condition that it is the past, and not the future. Our future." He said.

Pearl nodded. "Alright." She said. He looked at her and smiled, tears falling again. "But if you ever lie to me again or keep something from me to protect me, I will leave you and never look back. Do you understand?"

He nodded. "I do."

"Good." She said.

He pulled her into his arms and held her. "My god these last few days have been utter torture." He said.

They went back to her hotel and he helped her pack her things. He reached over her to grab her smaller suitcase and she flinched. It was completely subconscious but once it happened, they both knew what it was. Pearl's mind and body were now defensive toward Erik. A fear was now instilled, and it had shown them it existed.

She looked at him and pulled back, feeling both sorry and surprised. He looked ashamed and wounded.

"I would never hurt you. I would never put my hands on you." He said.

"I know." She replied.

"We will get through this. And when you're ready to talk about it, if there is anything you want to know, I will tell you." Erik said.

"Just give me time. I'm still working through everything in my head. I love you. That is enough for now." She said, turning away and continuing to pack.

"Do you want me to go with you to Detroit?" He asked.

"Yes." She said. "I want you there, here, with me. We need to figure this out and being apart won't help I don't think." She said. "But if I do need time alone, I will tell you. Is that alright?" She asked.

"It is perfectly fine." He said, smiling. He took her hand and looked into her eyes. "I love you. I will do anything to make this right and to make the rest of our lives work. I want you to know that." He said.

"I do." She said, smiling. But he knew it was a sad smile. A pained one. He hated her feeling like this. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He didn't understand the severity of not telling her when he thought it was all past him. He was a fool.

"Ready?" She asked. He nodded and grabbed her suitcase for her. They walked to the bus parked outside and headed east to Michigan with the rest of the band.