Chapter 1

I look at the TV and then at the ten other kids sitting around the couch, either playing with toys, on their phones, or watching along with me. The boondocks play, and the kids younger than 13 have headphones to not listen to the TV.

"Fuck!" Someone curses

"Ooh, Andy said a bad word," a younger kid says, causing everyone to say "ooh."

"Andy, don't curse before I give you headphones," I said to him sternly, and he rolled his eyes.

"Not my fault, I'm listening to inappropriate shows playing," Andy says on his phone, lying on my shoulder.

Andy was pretty tall for a thirteen-year-old; if the boy wasn't sitting, you could tell. Andy has brown eyes and black hair and is never off his phone.

Compared to me I don't think I look like the average girl my age since my flat stomach makes paper look curvy. I don't have anything special about me; I'm black with brown eyes, brown hair, and some freckles. I've been called ugly because of them, and I don't give a damn because I already know I'm not pretty at all. It could be that I don't believe in being pretty because I've never been called that. I put on some other show to not hear any more stupid shit coming out of his mouth. Everyone looks at the TV and either groans or sucks their teeth.

"What black person is on SpongeBob?" Andy asks

"You want the Fresh Prince?" I asked him because he was complaining too much.

"I want Bel Air," Andy demands.

"Again, that has too much inappropriate stuff, and you're only thirteen. I can't have you watching inappropriate stuff," I told him.

"Why? "I'm just a black person wanting to learn about how my people go through things," Andy says, actually getting off of his phone.

The hell he's acting like Bel Air, a documentary.

"Bel Air is a drama, and to be honest, SpongeBob has drama in it too, plus it's racist to not like a show just because there are white people," I said, crossing my arms, but he looked away from me.

"It's not racist if black music is what I look at," Andy says, still denying my accusations.

"Just because of that, we'll watch this show." "It's got a blue cat and an orange thing—might be a fish," I said, and clicked on it.

One of the kids younger than 13 took off their headphones.

"I tried looking up "fuck," but I didn't know what it meant, so what does it mean?" She asked

That's Avery, the innocent eight-year-old. She has a love for drawing and making people smile. A dark-skinned child with freckles and curly hair just like me For some reason, she looks cute with them, while I look like the average makeup artist on TikTok. I'm jealous of you, Avery, but I'm glad you're the only family that's left.

"Fuck is what a man and woman do to each other," Andy says, and I punch him in the arm.

"That is an inappropriate thing that you should never say until you are eighteen," I said to her right before putting her headphones right back on.

"KIDS LUNCH READY!" Someone shouted at them, and everyone ran to go get their food.

I run as well, because I want to get a seat, and since we are such a ghetto family. Andy sits back and stays on his phone.

"AYO Andy, get your butt over here before here, or else I'll shove this food up your --" I was interrupted by Mother Monique and Mother Tiffany.

"No inappropriate language," Mother Monique says.

"Good afternoon, Mother Monique and Tiffany," I said, trying to act like I didn't say anything wrong even though I just threatened Andy.

We call them mothers because they are the closest thing we have to a mother right now. Monique has a curvy body, a dark skin complexion, grey-like eyes, and black hair. Tiffany has white skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair. Tiffany is not as curvy, but she does have a body. Still, I'm jealous and pray that someday God gives me such a good body, but for now, let's accept the fact that I might never look pretty.

"Thanks for watching the kids. Do you know what happened to Andy?" Mother Monique asked

"To be honest, no, I don't, but I have a feeling it's on his phone, and since I looked at his phone, I think he has a little crush on some guy at his school," I joked, and I could tell he blushed as he made it to the table.

Oh my gosh, was he really into guys? Why wouldn't he tell his mother, or at least me? He makes me question our relationship as brothers and sisters.

"Who's the lucky guy?" Monique asked, and Andy smiled at her words.

"It's no one," Andy says.

"Ooh, Andy's got a boyfriend," Tiffany says, making everyone say "ooh."

"Shut up. I've heard enough oohs today." "Plus he's not my boyfriend, just a friend who is not into me," Andy says, staring at his soup and swallowing it whole, making everyone look at him weirdly.

Okay, Tiffany may not be the best cook, but still, what the hell is this? It's not soup; it's a monster. Like, why does it seem like this soup has muscle memory?

"Andy, are you still alive?" "Are you still there?" I was worried about him.

"What why?" Andy asks

"You're eating Mother Tiffany's food," I said nervously.

"And you're still alive," Mother Monique says, and Mother Tiffany rolls her eyes.

"My cooking is fine," Mother Tiffany says, and I start to hold my chest.

"I think her food gave me a heart attack. I'm dying. Help me," I joked, making the kids laugh.

"And then you wonder why I'm always like this," Mother Tiffany says.

"But hey, I think you're cute like that," Mother Monique says and taps Mother Tiffany on the nose.

Tiffany smiles, and the two share a kiss, making everyone say "ew." I watch them as I see the list within the kiss: how the younger one fights for control, how Monique's hand stays at Tiffany's waist, and how they each kiss harder and harder until—wait, why am I still looking at them?—why am I thinking this

"Grow up, you're all going to get your own boyfriend or girlfriend eventually," Monique says.

I forgot about what happened, and for the rest of the day, it was its usual chaos mixed with Andy being his brooding self. My sixteenth birthday came after days of waiting, and it was pretty amazing, but the best of all was that I had a special someone meet me.

As I blew out my candles, I saw confetti go into the air, and I saw Andy's fake happy birthday. Andy, for some reason, didn't look happy, and it was just so odd.

"Star, we have a surprise for you," Mother Monique says, and both of my mothers look at each other.

The kids move to the side as two adults walk over to me and give me a gift. Oh yeah, I remember them. They came in before; they're such a nice couple, and they said they only wanted kids, so I heard they were going to adopt Avery. They were the Johnsons' beautiful couple with a cat. Mrs. Johnson had black hair and dark skin. She was also short; I was taller than her, but she had an hourglass figure for sure. Mr. Johnson had abs and was like 6 feet tall—definitely taller than me. He had caramel skin with brown eyes and black hair. They probably came to get Avery, but then why would they give whatever this is to me? I opened it and just stared at it in pure shock, then saw Andy leave the room. I started to cry because I've been waiting 16 fucking years for this and my wish finally came true.

"Oh my god, this is really real," I said, still crying, just trying to get it all out.

"Shit! Sorry for my language, but I don't know how to feel," I said calmly, not even looking at anything but my vanilla cake with red icing.

I remembered that Andy had run away, so I went after him.

"Star, where are you going?" Mother Monique says

"I gotta go see Andy," I said and went into his room.

Andy was sad and looked away from me.

"Shouldn't you be going to see your new family with Avery?" Andy said he was very mad at me.

"I'll do the best I can, okay?" I said and hugged him; he hugged me back.

"You're the brother I never had." "I love you so much, Andy," I said, hugging him.

"I love you too," Andy says and hugs me back.

A few days later, me and Avery were packed up, and everyone in the orphanage hugged us before we left. Me and Avery sat in the car, waiting to arrive at the new house. Avery was asleep on my shoulder while I poked my head out of the window. I saw the cars go by in a flash, causing me to jump. I look at myself in the rearview mirror, and I jump because it looked like I was smiling to myself. Suddenly someone threw a glass bottle at Mr. Johnson, knocking him out. I see Mrs. Johnson trying to steer to safety.

"Take the pedal while I steer," I ordered, taking off my belt and steering to the side of the road where Ms. Johnson puts Mr. Johnson's foot on the brake and parks it.

"Mr. Johnson, are you okay?" I asked him, but he didn't respond.

"There's a hospital nearby." "Let's go," Mrs. Johnson says.

"What happened? Is he okay?" Avery asks

"He's going to be fine, okay," I said to her. "Suddenly, a car from behind us runs into us."

The last thing I saw was me flying through the window. Everything was like something in slow motion, and as glass was breaking, I saw visible cuts being made on my skin when I saw Mr. Johnson hitting his head against the dashboard. Ms. Johnson covers her face. I close my eyes and hit my head against the ground. I wake up in the hospital. It was morning, and I was bandaged from head to toe. My left arm was in a cast, while my right hand was just bandaged. My head was in something weird. I was taking the bandage off when doctors came into the room.

"No, no, no, don't do that. You still need to heal from your surgery," a doctor said.

I saw the name tag that said A. Gomez and looked at it in admiration. I put my hands on my chin and smile.

"But it don't hurt... It just tickles," I said in a weak voice

"Don't talk. A piece of glass went into your neck; it could've killed you, but luckily all it did was barely scratch your vocal cords," Doctor Gomez said, and I said, rocking my head back and forth.

I look at the TV screen and see the date 10/16, which made me keep my

"I've been here for a week. "I wonder how they're doing." I ask myself, putting my index finger on my lip.

Suddenly, I bit my finger hard, and Doctor Gomez forced my finger out of my mouth.

"Don't do that; it's not going to help you anymore," Doctor Gomez says to me, and she starts checking something in her notebook.

I look below me to see a tube inside of me. I rubbed it, and it felt so warm.

"This feels...so good," I said in my weak voice, rubbing the tube.

"Okay this is gonna feel weird but I gotta take it out," Doctor Gomez says and takes a blue curtain covering the bed

"What d-d-do you... mean?" I asked her and Doctor Gomez, who for some reason looked unsettled.

"Okay, 3, 2, 1," Doctor Gomez says and pulls it out, making me moan.

But Doctor Gomez was way too unsettled and just left the room.

Doctor Gomez was talking to someone outside and started running in a hurry

My head fell back on the pillow and I sigh

"W-w-what was...that?" I asked myself

You just forced something inside of me without my permission. Why would you do that? Was I just raped? Did I just lose my virginity? Where is Doctor Gomez? I want to talk with her. Why would you freaking do that? Stop yelling; it's too loud. I'm sorry, I'll be more calm. Fall asleep. But I don't want to go to sleep. It is calming, and you want to be scared. But I'm not scared; I'm angry. You are scared. Go back to sleep, and I'll fix this for you. Okay, good night. Good night.

I pass out and go to sleep right then and there. But when I wake back up, I see Ms. Johnson there with Avery and Mr. Johnson, who had bandages wrapped around his head. I took a moment to register where I was.

"Where am I?" What happened?" I asked for stretching

I yawned, and Avery hugged me.

"I'm so glad you're okay; the doctors wouldn't allow us to go see you," Avery says, and I hug her back.

"Yeah, they said you were hurt really badly, to the point we couldn't even see you," Mrs. Johnson said.

"But you look awesome now so we can go home now. Right?" Avery asked

"She's been in bed for a long time; she needs to learn how to walk again." Mr. Johnson says:

"Okay, dad," Avery says, and she gave me one last hug before leaving with them.

Star looks outside and sees the sky is a light blue color, and everything looks perfect. I'm not perfect, though I could never be perfect.