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Chapter 91

He said, “You want me to read to you? Pick up where we left off?”

Colby sighed. “Maybe? I hate to ask you to keep entertaining me.”

“Told you I don’t mind. We could put on a movie, something easy, if you don’t want to think much.”

“I don’t know,” Colby said, and his voice trembled just a fraction, sudden as a lightning-bolt. “I don’t know what I—I’ll fall asleep if you try to read to me, and I’m not hurting, it’s not worse, but—I don’t feel okayyet, I feel useless and I can’t do anything and now I’m saying that out loud and it’s worse and—I’m sorry, Jason, I’m so sorry, this is awful and I don’t like it—oh God I’m sorry, I’m trying so hard but I was so scared, Jason, I can’t pretend I wasn’t—”

The sob in that elegant voice broke the universe in half, a black note in a symphony. Colby squeezed both eyes shut again, breathing fast.