Chapter 30: Ticking Timers on the Battlefield

After being transported back to the surface, Roenaldo pumped his arms to hype himself up. This was the moment. The next mission would be his last one until…honestly, he was unsure of how to finish that thought. There was no Boss Kettle to be seen. "Well," he said, "Maybe this kettle is actually where the Great Zapfish and Cuttlefish are being held. The Octarians could've just ran out of those big kettles. With that possibility motivating him, Roenaldo made his way to the apex of the tower where the final kettle resided. Agents 1 and 2 gave their words of encouragement while Roenaldo rubbed his hands together in anticipation. After psyching himself up, the squid dived into the lair entrance.

Roenaldo landed in a place that looked like a cross between an office of communications and a hangar. Plastered all over the grey camo-print walls were posters of Roenaldo in his Hero Gear with some red letters beneath his image. "Ooh," said Agent 2, "Looks like you've made quite the name for yourself here, Agent 3. By the looks of it, that's a wanted poster." Agent 1 added, "Hey, at least you're famous! Though, I guess infamous would be more fitting…" Roenaldo looked at one of the posters with interest, wondering when he ever had his picture taken. He pondered this for a second before shrugging and moving on. In contrast to all the other rooms like the one Roenaldo was in, the path to Inkopolis was very obvious. Sitting in a corner of the hangar was a small saucer that hovered in place. With no hesitation, Roenaldo jumped into the vehicle, knowing that it was going to take him where he needed to be. Once he did so, a clear barrier closed around Roenaldo, cramping him in a tiny space, and he was transported along a dark passageway at a blinding speed. As Roenaldo zoomed ahead, Agent 1 exclaimed, "Weee! This is just like that rollercoaster we rode as kids, right, Agent 2?!" Agent 2 groaned, "Don't remind me of that day. My lunch's coming up as we speak…" At some point during the ride, the buttons all around Roenaldo started to flash red and pictures of him were displayed on the glass barrier. As the squid was wondering what was going on, a male voice came on and said, "Feindlicher Pilot entdeckt. Nun wird ein Signal an den nächstgelegenen Octostriker gesendet. Bitte akzeptieren Sie die Zerstörung." Before Roenaldo could process what was happening, he reached the other side of the passage, revealing none other than Blackbelly Skatepark. The flying vehicle then forcibly ejected Roenaldo by flipping upside down before darting off into the distance.

As Roenaldo got up, Agent 2 said in a hushed tone, "Oh no." Dusting himself off, Roenaldo asked, "What's going on?" Agent 2 answered, "Do you see that giant, obvious UFO above the tower?" Roenaldo looked in that direction and gasped; there was indeed a large saucer looming in the center of the stage. "Oh yeah," he said, "Guess I should've noticed that. What's so bad about it though? I'm pretty sure there's an Octostriker on that ship, and those are easy to deal with as long as you dodge." Agent 2 replied, "You're not dealing with the run-of-the-mill Octostriker. According to these rising energy levels, I'm sure that this guy isn't going to be launching simple Inkstrikes at you." Agent 1 gasped, saying, "You're right! Agent 3, I see a sphere of ink on that Octostriker's head, and it's only getting bigger!" Roenaldo squinted at the UFO, but he could not see what Agent 1 was talking about. As he was doing this, Agent 2 stated, "I don't know what exactly that Octostriker is planning on doing, but I don't think you want to find out. I estimate about…5 minutes until that sphere gets to a size worth worrying about." Seeing that Roenaldo was still dilly-dallying, Agent 2 yelled, "That means you have to GET MOVING, AGENT 3!" Roenaldo was jolted to attention, gripping his Hero Shot as he ran forward. He was unsure at why he was in a hurry, but he still felt an extreme amount of pressure.

Not even a moment after leaving his spawn point, Roenaldo faced his first obstacle. The very ground started blowing up with purple ink, and Roenaldo was heavily damaged. "Drat," said Agent 1, "Ink mines! What a dirty trick, rigging your base like that." While Roenaldo groaned in pain, a squadron of 4 Octolings emerged from an ink puddle in front of him, alerted by the explosion of the ink mines. One of them blew a whistle, prompting the others to launch an all-out attack on the Inkling. As Roenaldo respawned, Agent 1 exclaimed, "And they spawn camp, too?! Man, this is going to suck…" Agent 2 then said, "Don't waste your time with these fools. Remember, you're still on a time limit, and these respawns are taking up time! I don't care how you do it, but you have to get past those Octolings." Roenaldo nodded, returning to the place where he was lit up. Between attacking and swimming away, Roenaldo chose the former, lobbing a Splat Bomb in the general direction of the concealed Octolings. Fearing the thought of being blown up, the Octolings emerged from their hiding spot, allowing Roenaldo to shoot them up. "Nice," cheered Agent 1, "Keep going!" Roenaldo smiled and proceeded forward until he fell subject to another Ink Mine. As Roenaldo went into his ink to recover, Agent 2 stated, "You know that you can shoot Ink Mines to set them off, right?" Roenaldo smacked his face with his tentacle, shaming himself for not figuring this out sooner. Once he emerged from the ink, he sprayed his fluids everywhere as he continued on.

Not long after defeating the Octolings and detonating some mines, Roenaldo came across a fleet of 5 Twintacle Octotroopers that flew around in saucers just like the one the Inkling arrived in. Being more fitted to operate their vehicles, the Octarians started launching Octopods at Roenaldo, prompting the squid to run and swim around in circles. "Hey," he said as an Octopod whizzed by him, "I didn't know that those UFOs could do that! This isn't fair!" Exploding bottles rained down on Roenaldo relentlessly, who was quickly overwhelmed. At one point, a stray Octopod snuck up behind Roenaldo, diving into him and splatting him with one hit. The agent was once again sent back to his base, albeit for the last time. "Ahh," groaned Agent 1, "This looks bad…you don't have any revives left and you've only got about three minutes left on the clock!" As Roenaldo realized the gravity of the situation, Agent 2 said, "Yes, I know that things seem hopeless…but you can't give up now! You still have a chance to get up to that Octostriker and show him who's boss!" Roenaldo raised his eyebrows, responding, "Wow, Agent 2, I didn't expect you of all people to be so encouraging." Agent 2 responded, "Well, I do have my—wait, why are we talking? Move, move, move!" Roenaldo fixed his act and swam forward, moving as quickly as he could to avoid death.

Upon returning to the tower, Roenaldo was immediately bombarded by more Octopods. "Darn," said Agent 1, "These guys are still here. How are we supposed to get past them?" As explosions surrounded him, Roenaldo sensed another Octopod walking behind him. "Oh no," he said with dread, "Is this really how it ends?" He braced himself for impact, expecting for him to be sent straight to the afterlife only to feel…a small thud. "Woah," exclaimed Agent 1, "How lucky! It's a dud!" As Roenaldo looked at the faulty bottle, an idea formed in his head. He recalled a memory that he had as a young squid; from time to time, his father would let him ride his seahorse. Although Roenaldo had a rough time handling the creature, he still had a fun time trying to see how long he could last without falling off. He grinned, saying, "Who says that I can't try to beat my record of 10 seconds?" He jumped on the back of the Octopod, shouting, "Giddy-up!" The Octopod, disturbed by the sudden action, ran around in a frenzy, bucking wildly to shake off the Inkling. The other Octarians in their saucers looked at Roenaldo with sheer confusion, so dumbfounded by what he was doing that they stopped firing their weapons. After 11 seconds of flailing, the Octopod started flying into the air, hoping to throw off Roenaldo using the wind. However, the squid was able to keep his grip, fighting against the extreme speed of the soda turned torpedo. In it's bid to throw off it's enemy, the Octopod inadvertently flew the agent straight to the top of the UFO. "Ha," said Roenaldo happily, "That's 24 seconds!" He then kicked off the Octopod and continued, "Thanks for the ride!" The dud fell to the ground, cursing at Roenaldo in its language. As Roenaldo landed on the giant ship, Agent 1 said, "Well, that's one way to get somewhere! Way to be creative, Agent 3!" As Roenaldo got himself oriented, Agent 2 said, "You're not done yet. You still have that Octostriker to worry about." Roenaldo looked at the massive pool of purple ink in the center of the UFO to see the Octostriker fly upwards. Now, up close, Roenaldo could see just how massive the octopus was. Even larger was the growing sphere of ink sitting atop the Octarian's propeller hat. As Roenaldo looked with a mix of fear and amazement, Agent 2 continued, "You've only got a minute left to get things done. Otherwise, I'm sure that super bomb is going to make you meet your maker." Agent 1 added, "Come on, Agent 3, splat that Octostriker! Don't let him do this to Blackbelly Skatepark!" Roenaldo nodded before running at the massive creature. It was now or never.

The Octostriker, of course, wasn't going to go down so easily. It let out a deep, burbling shout, causing some Elite Octolings to emerge from slots in the UFO. "Carp," said Agent 1, "He's brought reinforcements! I don't think that you're going to be able to take down all of these girls easily, Agent 3." Roenaldo, however, was confident. He had been able to handle these powerful opponents before, and that was when the terrain was unfavorable. Why wouldn't he win now? So, with a head full of steam, he ran forward and let out a powerful battle cry as he began to engage the Octolings. Neither side showed any mercy, and ink flew in many directions, some hitting their targets while others simply painted the ground. After a violent struggle, the Elites were all splatted. Roenaldo then ran towards the Octostriker only for the most unfortunate of things happened; the Octostriker called in more Octolings. Agent 1 exclaimed, "Shoot! There's more of them?!" Agent 2 added, "Well, I hate to say it, but it looks like you're done for. You lived a good life." Roenaldo shook his head. This could not be happening. Fighting the previous batch of soldiers took a full 30 seconds to take down, meaning that he only had 30 seconds left to defeat the Octostriker. There was no way that he could win…at least, if he allowed himself to be distracted by the Octolings. "Hey," he said to himself as he crouched, "Who says that I have to fight these girls? The big guy's all I need to worry about!" With that, he performed a Super Jump straight towards the Octostriker, who had flown away to the other end of the UFO. By this point, Roenaldo had gotten the hang of making these massive leaps, and he was able to smack the Octostriker directly on its large belly. The Octarians wheezed as the wind was knocked out of it, and Roenaldo simply bounced back onto the saucer. "Holy carp," screamed Agent 2, "I can't believe you just did that! Hurry, hurry, splat him before you get blown to smithereens!" As Roenaldo aimed his Hero Shot towards the Octostriker, Agent 1 counted down, "10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…!" Just in the nick of time, with the hazardous sphere at its maximum size and prepared to launch, Roenaldo did enough damage to the giant Octarian to get it to explode, covering the surrounding area in yellow instead of purple. Once the ink settled down, a Zapfish floated up from the pool of ink in the center of the saucer. Roenaldo swam over and hugged the catfish with a huge smile on his face, endlessly relieved to experience this minor shock instead of the cold emptiness of death. Agent 1 squealed with delight before saying, "Yes, yes, YES! You did it! I knew you could do it! Never had a doubt!" Agent 2 responded, "So, you mean all that crying was just for show?" The former retorted, "Oh, shut it, you. Anyway, Agent 3, amazing job! This officially marks the end of your Zapfish collecting. Tine to go see what's happening on the surface!" Roenaldo wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. Finally, the 1st part of his journey was finished. Now, he could only look forward to whatever was coming next.