thewallflower
The story has potential I must say! But it needs edits and reworks. Some dialogues were not capitalized at the start and some have no periods. I can assume the author was not a native speaker but it was alright. So was I! Haha...Keep improving your craft and someday you will become one of the best authors here. I congratulate you for trying and that's hats off for you. Kudos and gracias for sharing this novel to me. Love lots here ❤️ Peace ✌️
A good beginning. The story started with suspense and is fast-paced right from the get-go. Feels like it will be a thrilling ride ahead! Loved the names of the characters, by the way. Want to know more about Elijah and Yasmine's backstory, which I guess will be revealed in the course of the story. Good job so far, Author-san!
I like the main character way of thinking and the smoothness of this character making joke is good undercover work but too common. The plot seem like I know what going to happen but if it change then it will be a good plot twist. The grammer need some work. some paragraphs don't have periods and some first words isn't Cap, but the more you write the more you get better. Just keep going author and best of luck.