Suffering

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Hey, Manager here. I tried something last chapter. Hope that little twist was nice and worked... Again, I'm new to writing. I still struggle with perspectives and making some things feel normal and the characters feel human. Hopefully the different thought processes between Stryke and Gen can come through. Also leave a comment. And thanks for reading. I have some stuff planned that hopefully pans out well for the end of the first book. I also have a couple cool powers planned as well. Finally, do you guys want an auxiliary chapter with different locations, creatures, Wakings and other stuff? 

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Successfully completing my daily training, I made my way out to the one place I actually felt calm and soothing. As I exited the gymnasium I nodded toward the guard, who nodded back, smiling a little.

I had been doing that for a long time now. I guess he appreciated the acknowledgement as well. The guards were all nice to me despite everything. There were some that intentionally made things difficult for me but most of them didn't really bother. 

Who was I kidding. I didn't get treated kindly, I just got treated the same as all the others. Equal treatment. But that made me feel better.

My surroundings turned into a blur as I walked past the training grounds, ignoring the mocking shouts and the dirty looks I got. At first I used to react. I even fought back. Fought back like a rabid dog. 

It worked. 

Worked for a little while. And then it came back. Worse than before. They knew how much I could handle and how much I could dish out. At one point they kept trying new ways to hurt me just to see how I would react. These new tactics went too far sometimes. 

Many nights passed as I cried myself to sleep. Crying at the situation I was in. Crying at the blatant torture I had to face. Crying at the unfairness of it all.

Then something changed. I started taking everything they threw at me. I took everything. But I stopped reacting. Even at the most inhuman things, I barely let out a whimper. 

I recognized what had changed. It was acceptance. I had nothing I could do as long as I was a Hunter and as long as I was Waking-less. 

After this change, the seemingly unending bullying came to a slow stop. They didn't get the reactions out of me and hence lost the motivation to keep making me suffer.

But it did not completely stop however, a lot of the members of the family still actively went out of their way to make things difficult for me. The ones with the name Hunter. Not just the ones directly born into the family but also the ones who have been adopted into the family like me. And some of the others who train here, those with connections to the main family also try to do the same after watching members with the surname Hunter. The only ray of sunshine was that Jeana hadn't tried to join them. It hurt a little when she didn't actively try to help me and even distanced herself from me. But her being happy and safe took priority over my suffering and I would have it no other way.

Anyway, everything will be fixed once I get my Waking back...…. once I get my soul back.

I had arrived at my destination. It was this forest entrance inside the massive compound. There were creatures there both docile and dangerous. The dangerous ones were closer to the center of the forest and they were used for training, by those who practice their Waking.

The Hunters were a family of those with Modification type Wakings. Almost all the major members were Mods. Those without a Mod type ability took a backseat. They didn't and couldn't represent the family in any situation. And even among Mods, those that could turn into creatures were put on a pedestal. And I fit that criteria perfectly. A Mod with a Chimera type Waking with a variety of body parts that changed with activation. If I was able to control the Waking I would never have been in this situation.

I sat at the foot of one of the trees on the outside and fell into my memories, a recent trend. Most of the times I reminisced the good, happy days in the Melting Lands. Days where we trained, days where we 'borrowing', days where we played pranks on unsuspecting bystanders. These memories were the only thing keeping me sane, my only experience with genuine happiness. I really didn't want to go with Aron that day but if I hadn't I would be stepping on the expectations and dreams of everyone in the orphanage. 

I pulled out my device. It was an outdated one. One I received after my initiation into my family. I tried calling a number I had tried countless times before. The Lamb's Respite. Waiting for someone to pick up, I clutched my pendant.

My most beloved possession. Jeana had though similarly as well I suppose, she still wore it whenever I saw her. Aron had seen the symbol on it a few years ago and wore a shocked expression. Mere moments later, he called Mama and said that he would support the orphanage because we were good children. I appreciated the help he did but the reason for this was different. James and Stryke found this symbol somewhere and engraved it onto the pendant and Mama threw a fit after seeing it, going as far as to completely forbid us from ever wearing it.

The symbol meant something, something scary enough to cause Aron to be shocked. I hadn't thought much of it at the time.

My mind was hell-bent on training to get my Waking back. I felt hollow. Losing my Waking was losing a part of my soul and I wanted it back. 

But a couple years later, I had made up my mind. I wanted to join this organization. An organization that even Aron respected. So I would never have to cover in front of him or anyone again.

The rings went through and eventually stopped. No one picked up. No one picked up since the news broke out about the disappearance of towns on the outskirts of the Melting Lands. I tried calling again. Only to be met with the same result.

Nothing.

I then searched for the orphanage by name. No changes in that as well, the last update to its online page dated to 2 and a half years ago.

Desperation had overtaken me and I had tried to look through drone images of the town and there it was, the orphanage. Everything was just as it was. No changes. Then came the worries. How had there been no changes in a total of 6 years. That made no sense.

No new houses?

No new establishments?

The story about abandoned towns in the Melting Lands were true and my town was one of them.

One thing I didn't recognize was this black thing on the ground in a plus shape. That was new. 

I put my device back after not seeing any changes.

My throat felt full as I choked up. I wanted to see them again, I wanted to hear their voices again. Putting my head onto my knees I let out my tears.

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I got up to move back to my little room after the curtain of night fell. I finally let go of the pendant in my hands. Holding it brought some much needed comfort. But that alone was not it. The pendant was special, I didn't know if the others knew but I did. It was some kind of memory metal. It could be bent and moved but it always straightened itself out, returning to its original state. Fidgeting with it kept my anxiety in check. I didn't know if Jeana knew about it, I think not because if she did, I wouldn't have mine with me. Aron would have taken it under the guise of research and swapped it with a fake one. 

After what happened all I had for him was a deep rooted distrust and he definitely seemed the type to pull a stunt like that.

I started walking outside and had barely took a couple of steps.

GGGRRRRR

I stopped still and slowly turned around as I heard the growl.

The creature growling at me was quite common in this area. Uro. Or Urocyon Furor. This one was orange-red, a male of the species. These creatures were ones that evolved little since the Cosmic Radiance. That didn't mean that they did not change. Their claws were retractable and were literally bones. Not that impressive but these were a dog species. Dog species that had gained a couple cat like features.

If I had my Waking this meeting wouldn't have taken place. Its instinct would have warned it against me. Mods with beast like transformations had that intimidation factor. Most creatures automatically recognized their spot in the hierarchy and my chimera Waking would have made this Uro do so for sure.

But now I am Waking less. Weaker than even a Physical. Sorry Stryke. That put me at the worst possible disadvantage. Without my soul I was essentially partially disabled.

I stood frozen in fear.

Just like always, I wasn't brave or smart enough. Not like those two. I would die without a chance at redemption.

GRRRRRRR

GRUUFFFF

GGGRRRUUUUUFF

The Uro barked at me.

I flinched breaking out of my frozen state. I took a step back, then stumbled back. The creature just looked at me. I kept backing up and once I deemed myself at a safe distance from the uro I ran.

I ran as far as possible, occasionally looking back to see if I was being chased or followed.

And I wasn't. My run had led me all the way to the training grounds.

Considering how I didn't have food today yet, I made my way to the the cafeteria. My heartbeats didn't slow down the entire time. My mind was racing as well. I was scared shitless. Just a few moments ago I had almost lost my life and no one would have even known.

As I picked up the food that the cafeteria manager had kept aside for me I wondered why I wasn't chased by the uro.

It was probably just as scared of me as much as I had been of it and it just wanted me out of its territory, one I may have recklessly invaded. I did walk a little further into the forest than usual. And like always the blame was on me. I needed to think before I acted, I couldn't keep making these mistakes. They could mean the difference between life and death.

I walked back into my room and started eating. The cafeteria manager always set food aside for me. I didn't know if she did it out of concern for me or if she was ordered to. I never really tried talking to her since our first interaction where I was informed of the food she left aside for me.

I never really spoke to most people either. A lot my days went with me being completely silent.

The food was good. Another one of the few things keeping me sane here. I found solace in the warmth of the food. But it reminded me of my happy past as well, leading to a lot of sobbing while eating.

I clenched my fists mentally preparing myself for the return of my soul tomorrow.