Fear the beekeepers!

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***

20 June 2013. 13:00

Shield's safe house.

Peter Parker.

I never thought I could have such a bad hangover. Yes, yesterday I was drinking with guys who call themselves gods, but still.

After Thor left, his battle buddies decided to celebrate the battle.

I don't know where Volstag got a barrel of Asgardian ale from, but Colson and I, as honoured guests and "glorious warriors", started to get very drunk. I remember I got a little woozy after the second mug. That's some nasty booze they make in space, I'll tell you. Phil, to his credit, got through three before he passed out. After the fifth, even the aces started to get dizzy. Sif even admitted to me that she'd seen my body smash through a building and that, if I were dying on the battlefield, she'd bless me with the kiss of the goddess on my way to Valhalla.

I blink and try to get up.

- Where am I? I'm glad I can get up. With difficulty, but I can.

"Greetings to the world of the living, Bearer," the gloating gloating from the symbiote.

"You know, Raj, if you were my grumpy wife, I'd think you'd say, 'drunk again, drunk,' in a similar tone," I guffaw, but immediately grab my head.

"Oh, believe me, Bearer, I'm sure your females can handle it a lot better than I can," the Clintarian's voice is now half snide and half sympathetic.

A shiver runs down my spine.

"What did I do?" - I clarify with carefully concealed fear. What's the point, though? Raj can sense my emotions perfectly.

"Well, for starters, look at the date."

I activate the communicator.

Yeah, so it's been a little over twenty-four hours.

I'm fucked.

"What have I done?" - I clarify, mentally preparing myself.

"Oh, that was the second thing," I gloat, all gloating too. - "At first you successfully kept yourself under control, but when I couldn't get the alcohol out of your system anymore, that's when it all started."

Mum.

"The primary ones were fairly innocent acts: a karaoke singing contest, by the way, congratulations, you won first place. Then you offered to eat Mr Hogun a few metres of spider web on a dare, luckily he took it as a joke. Miss Sif started harassing you, but you stoically resisted the onslaught," I exhale in relief. - "But then you started making out with Miss Lewis."

"What a fucker I am," I shamefully cover my face with my hands.

"Don't beat yourself up, Bearer, in fairness it was Miss Darcy who initiated it, and she was very, HIGHLY persistent."

"I didn't-"

"No, no. After the kiss, you were so embarrassed that you immediately ran to dial Miss Watson's number," the Clintaretian continued, barely containing his laughter.

"You mean I spoke to Mary?"

"With both my females, but primary with Miss Watson, yes."

"She didn't leave me, did she?"

"Are you laughing? I don't think any other woman can love a man as much as Mary Jane loves you. After those tearful and, if I may say so, snotty apologies on your part, confessions of adultery, and vows that nothing more had happened, your red-haired female only laughed gleefully in response, said it was all right, and asked me not to fool around any more."

"That's it?" - I asked hopefully.

"Oh, of course not," the alien snapped at me. - "Then you lounged with your lover for a very long time, said a fond farewell, and decided to call Miss Hardy."

"What did I say to Felicia?"

"Initially also professed your love, apologised, and towards the end," Raj switched to a conspiratorial whisper, "began sharing in very erotic detail how turned on you were by her Black Cat costume."

Prostration. Complete.

"I did what?"

"Yes, and then you started sending her pictures of similar costume options from a sex shop. We even ordered one."

"Then what happened?" - I ask, putting my hand to my face.

"You tried to get your blonde female to have phone sex with you, but Mr Agent Colson called you out in time."

Oh my God.

"By the way, where's Phil?" - I lift my head and start looking around, eager to shut down the subject of my disgusting drunken behaviour.

- Colson? - I shout and immediately grab my head.

A long, painful groan comes from the couch.

I turn round and see Phil's face, horribly wrinkled.

- Hangover too, sir? - I stretch out ironically.

Phil only nods.

- Not even....talking....no, - with pauses and huge efforts the man squeezes out of himself.

- I'd offer you a mineral water if it was handy and I had any idea where we were," I run my hand over my face.

- Over there," the Shield agent just points to the side.

I look round and realise that the kitchen is that way.

To the best of my ability, I get up and waddle over to the fridge. I open the door.

- Yes! Thank you, God, I always knew you were there," I say, pulling a bottle of cold mineral water out of the fridge.

I empty the bottle halfway. I close my eyes for a second and dissolve into bliss. Then I think of the man who is much worse off than I am and take a few more bottles.

- Hold on, sir, help is here," I walked over and handed Phil an open bottle.

- Thank you," Colson downs the bottle to quench his thirst.

Suddenly there's a horribly annoying ringing sound from the communicator.

- Please switch off this torture device," Colson says, grimacing.

I answer the call.

- Yes?" I sit down on the couch.

- You alcoholics come to your senses? - I hear Fury's commanding voice.

- And you're as cheerful and alert as ever? - I ask glumly.

- Not quite yet, it seems. However, I must ask you to leave the hospitable apartments of Shield, - Nick said in the same tone.

- How did we even get here?

- I think we should thank the Shield technicians who built the autopilot into the LOLA, - explains Fury.

- Let's drink to the invisible warriors, the labourers who ensure our victories," I sip my mineral water.

- But don't drink it. I couldn't say anything about you, Parker, but I couldn't expect drunken behaviour from my best agent.

- Sir? - Phil's voice sounded questioning.

- Let's just say you can't expect a promotion in the next few years, Colson," Nick's voice sounded cheerful.

We're looking at the agent.

- But I'm not calling to discuss your exploits," Fury's tone lost its former cheerfulness, "be ready, in two hours you're leaving on a mission. Or rather, just Agent Spider.

- WHAT?! - I shriek. - I've just come from a mission, what about a holiday?!

- You'd have a whole day to rest, Agent Spider, so don't complain about your sudden alcoholic binge.

You sly faggot!

- What's the mission, Director? - I'm holding back the harsh language as best I can.

- The plan is in place. It's time to shut down the C.I.C. shop. You'll be accompanied by Captain Rogers and the Strike Team.

I was relieved to hear about Steve, but the information about Brock Rumlow's squad was a little upsetting. On the other hand, they're undercover, so they're unlikely to go up against Cap and me, but only a fool would refuse such allies. They're too good at what they do.

- Where are we going?

- Detroit.

***

Same time.

Victor Von Doom.

The ruler of Latveria was in his chambers recovering. Alas, in that battle with the terrible alien machine, Victor had suffered more than he would have liked. So much so that Dr Doom had to hurriedly leave the battlefield and return to his country to recover. He didn't trust the doctors in the United States.

And so, after an examination and emergency surgery, von Doom was recovering in his chambers.

- How are you feeling, my lord?

There was only one person Victor trusted to take care of him in such a state.

- It could have been better, Boris.

An old man with greying, but not yet discoloured, wheat hair walked over to the bed and adjusted the fracture fixators to make his lord more comfortable.

- Thank you," the old man had just heard the rarest word Doom had uttered in the last eight years of his life.

- It is my duty, lord.

The conversation died down a little and the old man began to arrange the dishes with the lunch he had brought.

- I've found him, Boris. - Victor said in an unusually quiet and joyful voice. - I've finally found a way to save my mother.

- Lord Doom? - The man reacted shocked.

- I was so stupid," Victor raised his eyes to the ceiling, "I looked for options on Earth, but the answer was out there in space.

***

A few hours later.

France, Paris.

Therese Dupont.

A girl with long brown hair strolled through the familiar streets of Paris. Familiar, but not her hometown. Therese had never felt a kinship with this place. Nor with her adoptive parents. Marc and Cheryl Dupont made no secret of the fact that they had adopted Therese, though perhaps they should have.

Even though the girl was only sixteen years old, but since she was a child, she had only one desire, to find her biological parents, to ask them why they had abandoned her. Maybe if she learnt the truth about them, she would stop being so cold to the foster family, with whom she could not find a connection.

The girl tucked her dishevelled hair behind her ear.

Maybe this would provide an answer?

The brown-haired girl pulled out a photograph from the inside pocket of her cloak, on the back of which was written:

"You are with your parents, on the day of your birth."

There was indeed a baby in the photograph, lying in the arms of a beautiful young woman with dark red hair, and they were both being held by a man with dishevelled brown curls.

Now Theresa had her first clue.

- Who are you? - she said thoughtfully, smoothing the photograph.

***

Shield's base of operations

19:00

Spider-Man.

As soon as Phil and I were picked up from our flat, we were taken to the Aircraft Carrier. They had a whole Quinjet to ourselves. I stomped on Fury's carpet, listened to all the complaints about me, and replied something like: Nick, you're not my father, so why don't you stop lecturing me?

The spy didn't like the barbed answer, but he got to the point.

The purpose of our mission is to capture or total elimination of all CII agents who will be at their main base. I don't know what the beekeepers did to Fury or how he found out the location of their base in record time, but the fact remains.

Now at least it is clear why the UDAR agents were allocated, Cap, of course, decided to test on the battlefield, as Steve has been confirming his skills and physical data on simulators for many weeks, and the operation is a great opportunity to consolidate the results. Also, there is a theory that Fury decided to see if Rogers would be willing to take Rogers down if he had to eliminate certain people.

Why they sent me is also a good question. Punishment for drinking? Or an opportunity to test me as a killer? Well, judging by what I can glean from my interactions with Steve, our brave blond is clearly going to try to capture everyone alive. Me, too. Still, a captured C.I.C. tongue is more useful than a corpse. I wonder if this is Nick's attempt to disrupt the beekeepers' experiment by cleaning out the hive.

What's in the mind of the dear One-Eyed Eagle, I can't know.

After the aircraft carrier, I was taken to the centre and went home.

It's a good thing no one was around, or I'm still too embarrassed to look the girls in the eye.

I threw off my damaged tech suit, showered, and prepared to change into my classic red and blue uniform, with Raj's safety net. I decided to take adamantium katanas for the operation. I secured the swords in homemade scabbards and set off at the coordinates I had downloaded to my communicator.

It took me about an hour to get to the large, seemingly newly constructed building, at least the signs informed me that the new building was still in a state of disrepair.

I walk up to the door and see a small camera under the canopy.

After a second, a small holographic projector pops out and sweeps a transparent beam over me from head to toe.

- Agent Spider, level six, access granted," said a mechanical voice.

The doors are opening.

Wow, it's all automated. Growing up in the Shield, growing up.

I enter the building and see a tired agent with greasy hair and bags under his eyes sitting behind the glass in the guard's office.

- Wow, you must be exhausted from work, my dear.

- ID," the guy said in a completely neutral tone and held out his hand.

I just snort and hand over the document.

- Come in," the clerk says in the same neutral voice when the formalities are over.

He'd be perfect for the heavenly office.

I walk on, open the door, and find myself in a huge sports complex. There's a big boxing ring in the middle of the gym. Where, right now, two men are sparring, and seven others surround the ring and cheer the fighters on.

- Come on, Brock, take the old man down! - comes from one side of the ring.

- You can do it, Captain," comes from the other.

Oh, looks like I'm in time for the big fight.

As I get closer, I'm not noticed by anyone in the crowd, and the sparring men have plenty to do without me.

Still, the advantage of a genetically modified super-soldier over an ordinary, even if incredibly well-trained man, is undeniable. It's enough to look at Steve smiling from a good fight and Ramlowe, covered in sweat and out of breath. No wonder why in the films the six of them couldn't knock Rogers out. And now, the final hook from the super soldier, and the leader of the UDARA has his face slammed into the ring floor.

- Good job, Agent Rumlow," Steve said, smiling openly as he stepped closer and extended his hand to his opponent.

- Thanks, Cap," Brock smiled back in a friendly but friendly manner, "you kicked my ass.

Yeah, it's hard to stay mad at a guy like Rogers.

- You handled yourself beautifully, and I'm sure I would have been swimming in a couple of minutes.

- Of course, in my dreams.

- I'm sure the fight was spectacular," I let the others know of my presence, "I'm glad I made it to the end at least.

Immediately everyone turns towards me.

- Oh, what people, Agent Spider, I suppose," the UDAR leader said with a slight irony.

- That's right, Agent Rumlow," I let Crosbones' quip pass my ears.

- Wait, I know you," Steve snaps his fingers, "New York hero, I saw you on the news.

Many of the members of the task force, whom I had already said hello to, smiled at that remark.

- That's right," I step closer and climb into the ring and extend my hand to Rogers, "it's an honour to meet a living legend like you, Captain.

- Thank you, but don't be," the blond man replies and shakes my hand.

Steve may be modest, but he, more than anyone else, deserves the respect shown to him.

- So, Agent Spider, how about one round with the cap before we go? - Rumlow said cheerfully.

- I don't know, the Captain just had a good sparring session with you, so ...

But Steve was quick to put in his five cents.

- Don't worry about it, Spider, I can do this all day long.

Yeah.

"Raj?"

"There are some slight debilities after a hangover, but by and large, you're ready for battle, Peter."

"Then I'll try to hold out a little longer."

- All right, one fight.

- Bandages? - Brock offers.

- 'Sure,' I take a few stretchy strips and wrap my arms.

- But let's not use any gadgets, Stenolaz," Ramlowe hinted.

- Don't worry, it's just the natural gifts of one genetically modified human against the gifts of another," I say, finishing securing the bandage.

We stand with Cap across from each other. Brock rolls out of the ring.

The gong rings.

The soldier immediately moves in closer to me and tries a right hook punch. I parry the punch and break the distance. Steve again aims to close the space between us and strike to the body from the bottom. I lunge to block and counter with a solid straight right to the head. To my surprise, the punch almost hits, and only at the end does Rogers cover himself with his hands.

- Not bad," Steve said, frowning.

It looked like the real fight was about to begin.

Cap sped up noticeably during the next attack, but now it wasn't his usual pace: faster, but still not fast enough for my reaction time. I could tell Rogers had had enough fights, but he wasn't used to fighting other supers. Or maybe he's just not used to it.

I decide to join the fight, and I'm already starting to crowd Steve.

The watching agents of the Strike are silently and intently watching our movements. It's not a good idea to flaunt your abilities in front of a squad that's probably completely under the control of HYDRA.

At the moment, Captain America and I are roughly on equal footing, he doesn't have the famous Shield, and I have webbing and other gadgets.

- By the way, is it comfortable to fight with these blades behind your back? - Steve starts talking and I can hear the breathlessness in his voice.

- They don't get in the way much, and they're too valuable to leave unattended," I answer with the same breathlessness.

- Would you like to put them to use?

A hint that I'm running out of breath?

- Your return from the dead is too big a miracle to be cut short so easily," I say with a smile.

There are chuckles from the audience at the joke, with Ramlowe laughing the loudest.

Steve smiles as well.

Shall we merge the fight? Even though it's disrespectful as hell to the legend. On the one hand, the green sucker might undermine authority, so Rogers won't be hot or cold in this wolf pack, and I'll gain some respect, or at least apprehension. On the other hand, I'll attract the most unwanted attention to my person, and I'd rather be seen as a foolish joker. Though I'd really like to compete with the cap in a real fight.

Here's Steve's signature hook. I could have dodged, because I've already seen this technique, and I'm not a beginner for a long time, but I've already held out against Rogers for thirty minutes, and it's obvious that it's getting difficult for him, even if it's difficult for me too, again, it's not a real fight, so...

I get caught in the hold and fall to the ring floor.

- Ow," is all I say.

The audience roars and applauds.

Yeah, boys don't need much in any world: a mug of booze, a broad and a good fight.

- You're good, Spidey, - Rogers gives me his hand, - do you mind if I call you Spidey?

- You can even call me insect, Cap," I take his hand and get up.

- Spider sounds better," the blond nods.

- Well, that was very...informative," Rumlow says as soon as we're out of the ring.

Yeah, I bet it was.

- Good base, kid," Brock nods respectfully.

That's how they know I'm a kid! My voice isn't ringing, I can't see my face under the mask, and my height doesn't make it obvious that I'm a young, almost twenty-year-old guy among these thirty-five-year-old men. Was George right, and am I being a jerk?

- Thank you," I replied to the squad leader.

HYDRA, not HYDRA, but I won some respect points from these brave soldiers, so I'll take that as a success for now.

- Well, now that we're all here, let's get going, shall we? - Steve joined the conversation.

- Sure, Cap, I'll have my guys check the gear and uniforms, and you should get changed too," Ramlow nodded at the sports kit.

- Sure," Rogers nodded.

- I can go to Quinjet. Where's the airstrip? - I ask you a question.

- Far door, straight ahead and to the right," said a frowning Jack Rollins.

- Thanks," I salute the guy lightly.

I go to the plane and wait for the whole squad to gather.

Twenty minutes later, everyone is assembled, as if on cue.

To my own delight I notice that Cap wasn't dressed up in some jester's outfit, but was given a fancy uniform straight from "The Other War".

- Nice costume," I hasten to share my observations.

- Thank you. Yours is also quite...stylish," I notice a hitch in Rogers's voice and decide to saddle up my favourite horse.

- Thank you, I know. At least a man from the past can appreciate the classics," I adjust my katana scabbard.

- You specialise in swords? - Cap starts talking as soon as we're seated and we're airborne.

- Oh, these? No. I won them in a fair fight from a mercenary.

- A mercenary? What's his name? - Steve's interested.

- Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, but I'm afraid that name won't tell you anything," I shrug.

- You. You don't have to shout," Rogers adds.

- Okay, whatever you say, Cap.

Afterwards we just discussed the details of the mission and everyday trivia. It was nice when he mentioned a friend who helped him a lot in exploring the new New York and treated Rogers to the most delicious hot dogs in Queens. Captain America considers me a friend, cool.

When it was a couple of hours to the city I decided to do my favourite thing on a flight - sleep.

*

Detroit.

23:30.

Ah, the city of machine factories, what a beautiful smog and this stench! Disgusting.

We calmly flew to the factory the intelligence pointed to, and the people with guns and in beekeeper suits standing there and not shying away from anyone dispelled all doubts.

Surely this is a terrorist group consisting of people with at least 140 iq?

The UDAR agents were attaching ropes to their belts and preparing to disembark, I set up the throwers and Steve pulled out the Shield.

As soon as I saw the fancy artefact, I was stunned.

- Um, Cap, can I touch it?

Rogers gave me a perplexed look, then grinned understandingly and held out a slightly curved painted disc with a star in the centre.

I ran my palm over the smooth surface and felt a slight rush of goosebumps. Except it wasn't the shield.

I feel a sudden sharp pain in my side, and it's so strong. I almost drop the legendary artefact and fall on the bench.

- Are you okay? - Steve immediately asks.

- Um, I must have been nervous, because it's such a rarity," I try to add more fun to my voice and hand the weapon to the soldier.

- If you say so," Rogers accepted the shield, but he didn't seem to believe my words.

And the shitty thing is that the pain doesn't go away!

"Raj, what's wrong with me?" - I hope it's not a mutation.

"I can't say, from what I've checked, there's nothing physically wrong, Peter."

Right, still a mutation.

Oh, what bad timing! Oh, all right. Take it easy. It's stupid to go into battle right now, but I can't ignore the mission, either, just in case. Anyway, I can always run away, and Raj has my back if I need it. Besides, it's the bloody CII, what can those eggheads do?

- Spider, is there a problem? - Rumlow comes up to me.

- No, I'm fine," I try not to let the pain echo in my voice.

- All right, we're gonna start the assault.

I nod.

On cue, the strike team descends. Cap's right behind them. Just as I'm about to jump out of the Quinjet myself, I hear muffled pops, the guys just took out the local guards. Professional.

I hook onto the plane and descend on the webbing.

Looks like the damn pain won't leave me.

The team advances silently deep into the factory. Cap walks ahead and I crawl along the wall.

A few C.I.D.'s come around the corner, but Steve throws a shield and knocks them both out.

We head back to where they came from.

- Why don't we put some fighters in these costumes? - I have an idea.

- No need, this isn't an espionage mission, it's a sweep," Brock replies, taking aim and looking around corners.

- Temper your bloodlust, Agent Rumlow, remember living tongues are more useful than the usual dead," Captain America sieges the man.

- If you say so, Cap, - reluctantly agrees the commando.

We go deep into the building and the abandoned factory gradually turns into a high-tech laboratory.

Initially, our group meets no resistance, but after a while, a buzzing alarm goes off.

I can't believe we hit the silent alarm.

- Damn it! I knew I should have taken a couple of techs on the mission.

I didn't even think about connecting to the Spiderbot network. Idiot!

- Okay, we'll split up, Strike Team, you go South, Spider and I go North, either meet back here in half an hour or after the base is cleared," the cap commands.

- Aye," Ramlowe nods and leads his men away.

The captain goes straight ahead, and I'm right behind him.

As we move forward, at least a dozen armed beekeepers appear around the corner.

Cap throws his shield and I fire a web.

Alas, the pain only grows.

At some point, it becomes too damn hard to dodge the shots, and I have to activate Raj. A symbiotic blanket crawls over the suit.

It gets easier.

Cap can't hide the change in my appearance.

- How did you do that? - Steve wonders, knocking out a Qiya soldier with a punch to the face.

- I like to change outfits," I knock out a few more soldiers without going into detail.

Alas, this ten have been replaced by two more. These guys are good at maths.

They'd still be snacks for me and Cap if it weren't for one thing. Guns. Sonic cannons.

As soon as the wave-like, almost invisible energy reaches us, the symbiotic cover begins to truly screech.

I, on the other hand, grab my head, as this is no less painful than the sensation in my sides.

Steve also drops to a knee, but he has the concentration to throw a shield that knocks the cannons out of the hands of the first line of beekeepers.

As soon as the stream of sound waves fades away, powering Raj with energy from my anger and pain. Several dense symbiotic harnesses erupt from his body and nail all the beekeepers to the wall.

- I won't even ask," Cap comments.

- Here's the ho....

I walk literally a metre and fall to my knees.

The pain becomes completely unbearable, and in my head beats Spider Sense.

- There's a spider behind me!

I try to turn around, but something slams into my back and I lose consciousness.