I did, you...
Foreword 1 chapter 1 2 Chapter 2 3 chapter 3
Dara wasn't working; she was sitting on her chair, but, had spent the last fifteen minutes just staring out the window, too relaxed to care that she was late to catch the bus.
It was the end of a long week, and Dara knew she should go home, but just the thought of face the beginning of summer crowded streets made her more reluctant to get up...
But, that was just part of it, if she were, to be honest with herself, that was not the main reason why she didn't want to leave, after all, Cao had offered to dropped her at home, so, the crowded street excuse, wasn't a legit one...
She told Cao she had to finish something, however, the truth is that she felt reluctant to go home, Nya's home, it's been a while since she had a place to call her home if she ever had.
Nya was out for the weekend, she went to Eunji's and Henri's baby shower party, which was good for her, she needed to unwind from time to time, but with her gone, Dara was left alone at the house, facing her own loneliness, however homey and comfortable the house was, it was still Nya's house, not hers, when she had to be alone, its emptiness was kinda haunting.
She could fill the silence with music, rent any movie or watch television, get lost in some book and pretend she was in any other country in the world, but she would still be alone ...
Lately, she was constantly feeling like this, no matter how many people were around her, she would still feel alone...
If she thinks about it, rather than loneliness, it was solitude and restless of her own soul, but the most troublesome part of all this hopelessness she'd been feeling lately, that fatalistic, inevitability sense of nothingness of her own significance in the world, she seemed to spend her days for nothing, just like her life seemed to be going, living for living, eating for eating, working for work, sleeping for sleeping...
She no more had any dreams or expectation for her life, the only thing keeping her living was her friends, she didn't have anything or anyone else, love, husband, kids, a house full of laughter and security, she once thought she had, but actually never had, Her whole life was a lie...
She got to a point of her life that she couldn't even feel empathy towards others, she was so dry inside, that she couldn't even comfort her friends honestly, she just look at them from apart, wondering, «why?», why they keep pushing, even though they were brokenhearted, sad, sometimes even lost, they didn't give up, they keep insisted on continuing to search, even if it brought more pain, she honestly didn't understand them.
Cao, had left an hour earlier, furious and for some reason, Dara knew it had to be her brother's fault, Dara had no siblings but if they were all like Cao's brother, she was glad she didn't have any sibling, but, apart from Nya and Cao she had no one anyway
Just before she left, she just grabbed her by the shoulders and with a dramatic look, she told her solemnly...
« Remember the pact, we'll, all of us, we have to find good boyfriends and be happy and rub in the face of those idiots ...»
«The pact», was actually the most ridiculous thing she ever heard or did in her life, but, hey, who better to be a fool than with your best friends
Why would Cao remember of that stupid thing it had been almost a year since that happened, Dara remember it was last summer, around Nya's birthday
Flashback
The girls were sitting on the floor after sharing Thai food, it was their adult and modern version of a pajama party, Cao's words, they had finished a bottle of red wine, Nya decided it was time for ice cream, she got up to fetch some, when Nya's house bell rang, Nya and Dara looked at each other surprised, they weren't waiting for anyone.
- Just keep doing what you're doing, it's for me- Cao stood up with a mysterious smile and went to answer the door, Nya shrugged and went to the kitchen and Dara began to clean the leftovers
- zhù ni shengrì kuàilè, zhù ni shengrì kuàilè...- Cao came back with a birthday cake, the candles already lit- Unni won't be here to celebrate your birthday kids, so, unni decided to cut you the cake today
- Unni my foot, we're both 23- Nya said sitting on the floor again
- Come on, show more appreciation for unni's effort, and even if you are sad 'cause unni, won't be here Wednesday, you can't let the effort of someone older to be in vain
- It's bad luck to sing happy birthday ahead of time, and what's worth celebrating two separate things at the same time, it devalues both occasions, my friend
- Baby, baby - Cao placed a few condescending pats on Nya's cheek, the other girl shook her with a pretending angry slap, Cao chuckled and kept - we will never be friends, you are exactly 22 years 359 days, I, my dear, I am 23 years and ten days, I will always be your unni
Dara rolled her eyes, it was going to start all over again, the three friends were separated by days but Cao always made those 10 days when she was the oldest worth, so, knowing what was about to start, she decided to look for something to help her cut through the boring and already overriding discussion that was approaching from the start, that was when she noticed the strange old book, which for a strange reason she had not noticed before
- What is this, I thought I was the only one who read in this house
- Uhh, what, oh- Nya's cheeks flamed, she blushed out of embarrassment a rare sight, then she tried to get the book out of Dara's hands which were even more suspicious than she blushing or reading
- What is it? - Cao was able to reach it first, she flipped the book curiously- what are doing with such an old book?
- It's a spellbook - Nya said taking the book and hiding in the chest protectively
Cao threw back his head and laughed
- Really, a real spellbook?- she asked interested- I never thought you were, isn't witchcraft against your religion- she mocked- what kind of spells, for money, voodoo, love- Nya blushed again- really, love, wow, were you going to cast a love spell alone, how selfish of you dongsea
- It's just a joke, they gave it to me at Jae's bachelorette party, and it's too ridiculous to share with others, and you know I don't believe in it, and I don't even like these holistic and witchcraft shit
- But why did you hide it from me and Dara, and more importantly, how did it get here, noooo, magic?
- I didn't tell you because all you care is Mek and Dara, well, Dara doesn't care about anything ...
- Well, Let me tell you a secret, I'm gonna give up on Mek
- Yeah right, as if
- I swear
- And till when is your resolution going to last, until the day after tomorrow when he hands you your late birthday present
- Well, I was thinking forever, but now on second thought, if he kneels in front of me and says he loves me
- Of course, I knew it was tactical, you pretend that you gave up on him he realizes what he lost...
- It's not tactical, I'm not gonna lie and say that I don't love him anymore, or that I forgot him, it will never happen, but I have done with suspending my life, my future, waiting for Mek to fall in love with me, if I can't have the person I love the most, I can find one I love in the second place, is not bad, it can come to be a better fit for me and prove that...
- What about Mek then? - Dara could not resist asking, she had known Cao since the kindergarten, and for her, it was always being Mek- Why the sudden?
- I'm tired
- This is not good enough reason- Nya said
- I think it's time to put myself first
- I thought you were always in the first place.
- Do you want to say something?
- I just said you're always complaining that he doesn't like you
- And he doesn't
- You're so focused on showing others that you love him, overestimating your love that you don't see what everyone else sees
- And you're going to tell me as always
- When you were 9 who stayed with you when you had measles
- Mek, but he also had the pox, and our parents threw us in the same room so as not to infect the rest of the kids
Nya rolled her eyes
- Ok, maybe, but, he went with you to the prom, even if it was against his will
- Exactly, against his will, isn't it sad, he was forced to play the role of my oppa, because the adults of the family were too protective to let me go with anyone else
- But he is not your brother, your brother is Lay and he didn't even care...
- It was kind of condescending, like, this is the last thing Ima going to do for you...
- But, he is here every year for your birthday- Dara didn't know why she was appealing for the guy, but, Cao's love for Mek was the faint expectation she had in love, and if she gives up on that, she didn't have anything else to make her believe
- this year he didn't come for my birthday, he said he had more important things to do sharply and turned off the phone...
- Oh, now I get it, so, you're throwing a tantrum, pouting, you're going to give up on him because Cao has to be the absolute priority, it really shows how deep is your love
- You're questioning my love for him
- No, never, just it's dept
- I've been in love with him since I was 6
- Yes, and I'll give you that, but we are not talking about longevity, longevity is not the same as depth, do you see him beyond your love for him
- Wha, I mean, I, right because deep is your love isn't it- Cao got defensive, so she strikes back- such a good person you are, you are in love with your best friend but you handed him on a silver platter to someone else
- Yes, I am, at least I'm not some spoiled little brat who insists on having something, even knowing that she'll never have it
- Didn't just said that he may like me?
- Well, I changed my mind you just want him because you know he doesn't want you, that you can't have him, that's it, if he was head over hills for you, you'd ignore him, like the Dara's green dress
- Why did you bring the green dress to this
- I don't know
- Well, and who are you to question the ground of my love, I'm pretty sure that what you feel for Henry isn't love, it's just relocation of feelings, he stood beside you when your parents died so, that's why you never confessed and didn't make a drama when he started dating Jae, it's not because of any noble sentiment, what I want to say is that...
Dara got up with a weary sigh and went to the kitchen ...
To anyone from the outside it might be hard to believe that Nya and Cao were best friends, because they both looked more like a cat and a dog than best friends, and it was up to her, Dara, to be the voice of reason, rather, the bucket of ice water to throw between them when things heated up
It could be hard to believe but they really loved each other. To be honest, mutual love was the only thing that kept all three together, they didn't have much in common, they were totally different, at everything...
They had known each other since kindergarten, after Cao went to Korea, their parents kept in touch and they saw each other in time until Cao returned to China to go to university, and that was the only thing Dara was grateful to her parents.
- The position you offered me is still available?- Dara asked out of nowhere, and that definitively worked as the ice water
Cao had started working at her family hotel, and she asked Dara to be her assistant, she said she didn't trust anyone else, which Nya mocked her saying that it was the other way around that maybe no one wanted to work with someone so wishful like her.
Dara had always been top of the class, but to everyone's surprise and the astonishment and confusion of her friends after university, she was disinterested in everything, only worked part-time until she had enough money to travel, she had already been to Uganda in Africa, South America, and in various parts of the true Asia as she said, volunteering ...
Cao's mother played with them saying that with their personality
Dara was going to explore the world, Cao populate it and Nya sell it, she loved money, not that she needed it or would go to extremes to have it, but, she sure was thrifty
Cao called Nya miss Scrooge, which always angered her
- Can stop saying that- she'd said angrily.
- I can stop, but it won't turn into a lie if I don't say it Madame Scrooge
- Are you really going to accept it, really really
- If you still want me
- Of course, of course, but if you're going to start, you have to commit until the end, not just a few months till you decide the next country needing your help
- OK
- Why now?
- The cafe where she worked closed almost two months ago and I encouraged her to look for something else in her major (PR, marketing, and advertising)- Nya said haughtily- she wanted to look for something else like restaurant, but I thought it was a waste of her talent,
- I'm not proud, I'll accept her, even if it was Your idea
- But, are you sure that there is no problem, you started very recently, I don't want to impose
- You're able, and not imposing, she offered, it is her family hotel, and she herself begged, she said she is lost, she pretends she knows what she's doing but she's dying of fear that people think that she's there just because she's her father's daughter, which is true, if you're there to help her, it's going to be like school, when we did the group projects together
- Yeah, all that, what she said- Cao said with a chuckle- We worked well together- Cao said nostalgically and with a trace of hope in her voice
- It's going to be exactly like school, you're going to do all the work and she's going to present it, you, the intellect, she's the spokesperson.
- Yeah, I helped with some work too, and I did the presentation because she was, is, too shy to speak in public, and, you know what screw you, Scrooge, I'm too happy to fall for your traps- she said grabbing Dara's hands smiling. - you're going to sign a contract as soon as possible, you don't even need to go through the process of choosing or internship, which you would have been brilliant, because you are brilliant- Dara chuckled- while you are there you will gain some money, and looking for another job, if by the end of the year you decide that you don't like it and want to go away, you can, what do you say?
- Yes- she said simply, and the book of spells and discussion were forgotten, at least for that day.
Suddenly out of nowhere, Dara felt a chill runnin' up the back of her neck, It was as if the winds were about to change and nothing and no one would ever be the same...
«Ridiculous, blame that stupid game with the girls» after having made that irrational jest of casting a spell, she was feeling a bit dramatic, everything seemed to have a certain inevitability to them now...
« Inevitability»- Dara thought once again, she shook off the thought and with a sad sigh, she started packing up her things and getting ready to leave, maybe she could eat anything and watch a movie at the mall, delay the going home the maximum she could...
It was all Cao's fault...
« Remember the pact»
She was in the lobby of the hotel, it was a little past 7 o'clock on a Friday night but the place wasn't very busy, only the receptionists, the security guards, some customers, but the executive part that worked on her side was all gone, she was the only one still, and it wasn't even because she was working, it was because she didn't want to go home ...
With resignation, Dara adjusted her glasses at the tip of her nose and prepared to face the night.
- DARA - the hotel president called her, she could recognize his voice, it was a little relaxed and playful even in the most serious situations, it was amazing to think that that kid without any worries in the world was responsible for something so big and encompassing so many people
Instinctively, with one hand, she felt herself to see if some hair had slipped from the stiff hair bun she wore while she worked, but she still felt reasonably tidy, so she sighed and forgot about it, she swallowed the dry lump on her throat, straightened her spine and got ready for whatever business matter he had
- Yes, President.
- You can call me Lay, after all, you're Cao's friend.
- It's okay, sir- she emphasized the sir, he made an impatient sound.
- Whatever, I need you to do me a favor.
Strange, she wasn't his secretary, and he rarely talked directly to her, more like, he never said anything to her besides a polite "good morning" when he met her with Cao...
- I know you're not my secretary, but this has nothing to do with work- she didn't realize that she had spoken out loud, she looked at him confused
She didn't know why, but she felt he disapproved of her friendship with Cao. Perhaps it was simply that he didn't like her, though she had never done anything to annoy him
"Stray cat" he had called her it was more annoying than hurtful, but they were water under the bridge, she just tried to get out of his way, and pretend she had never heard the small argument between the siblings.
- Dara?! -
She went back into the atrium, the few people there were starting to look at them
- Yes, of course, how can help you, sir?
- Come on, let's have dinner, and I'll explain it to you- without warning he took her hand and start heading to the elevator, her reaction was of shock, not because of the touch itself but because of the unexpected that was, she startled and jerked her hand sharply, he looked at her and frowned but said nothing.
- You can say what you need, we don't need to go somewhere else.
- What, are you afraid of?- she knew he was teasing her
- No- she said proudly
- Do you have something more important to do?- She could lie, but she didn't like little lies.
- No
- Okay then, so let's have dinner, and what I have to tell you, it's not something I can risk tell where others can hear.
they went to a Thai restaurant, what was wrong with that family and Thai food and even before the employee arrived with the menus she asked again ...
- So, what can I help you with sir?
- Hmmm- Somehow, the uncommitted sound seemed ominous.
- Why are you looking at me like that?
- I may have a proposition for you- he mumbled, and then he threw the bomb- marry me.
First, she looked at him hoping he was making a joke to relieve the mood, but he looked serious and neither his eyes or mouth were twitching humorously
- WHAT????
- I need a wife, fast, just pretending, you do this for me then I owe you one.
- How it's possible to pretend to marry, and why would I, I don't need anything from you
- Well you asked if you could help
- It was a polite way of saying, «what do you want»
- Well you asked what you could help me, I told you
- Why?
- umh?
- Why do you want to marry me?
- Oh no, no lol, that's not it, lol, I don't know if I'm amused or offended, you really think I'm someone who marries in a whim, I don't want to get married, with you or anyone as a matter of fact, I need you to pretend you are married to me
- And you think the way you say you need me makes things more clear, and, as a matter of fact, we don't really care for each other, and your family would pick that up in a moment and third, and most important, we're not even close friends, which negates me from owing you any favors
- That's why you'll be perfect for the job. I need someone who won't get any strange ideas.
- Aren't you dating some supermodel, why don't you marry her
- First I'm not dating anyone, we are friends and went out to eat a few times, and no, I can't marry her
- What if I am?
- Are you?
- No- she ended up saying reluctantly - why, of all the women you know of your level who can marry alias are willing to marry you why are you asking for a stray cat like me to marry you
- Oh, you heard that, I didn't say it that way
- Is there another way to say it?
- I'll tell if you marry me, the important thing is that I'm looking for someone I can trust to keep this a secret...
- So, what happens if you don't get married?
- The least, being stalked my whole life by a madwoman, angry her father, take out company liaison, call the attention of the other partners, and all kind of mess I don't like
- Don't you think marriage is something too extreme, and a problem on itself, and to be honest, being stalk is not a big problem
- Really, ok, maybe for you, but not to me, it's not too small if we think that I am newly appointed, try to follow my fathers legacy, it's a burden on its own but to ruin in less than two year, because of something as, as you said small, as the madness of a girl.
« Burden»- she thought, she'd never think, he always looked so carefree and, and, that wasn't her problem...
- Too bad. Well, I'm sure you'll find someone.
- I did. You.