Chapter 3
VINNY
"Why are you always eating lunch alone?" I ask her as I make an attempt to pull the chair beside her. She merely looks up at me before taking a huge hasty bite of her hotdog. This girl I know as Blake came to work in the organization months ago but never really acclimatized. She is always alone and it helps that her work requires little human interaction. She is a math genius with all her statistics and headaches. I am a little nervous approaching her since no one ever speaks to her. Is she a mean bitch? Will she make me regret my decision of speaking to her?
But these questions seem irrelevant since she looks like my sister. My little sister was a firecracker and I loved her deeply only that depression made her take her life when she was only sixteen years old. My heart breaks daily when I remember how amazing she was; for some reason, she didn't see how she could brighten up whole stadiums with her beauty and energy. Blake here reminds me of her, Blake is like the version of my sister that would have survived her teenage years. She has my sister's big hazelnut eyes, lips that pout naturally with a petite body and skin that glows like a chocolate fountain. My sister was so beautiful it hurts my whole being remembering her smile and the way she looked after she took her life. Blake makes me love her even though I know she is not my sister nor is she someone I know. But I will be damned if I didn't try and speak to her.
Blake slowly looks up at me, still chewing says, "It is poor etiquette to talk and eat." She bites into her hotdog maintaining eye contact. I find myself smiling, she is funny. Without a word, we sit silently as she finishes her lunch. We get to know each other over many giggles and lame jokes. She is an awesome person, I wonder why no one talks to her. "Why do you always keep to yourself?" I ask as we walk back to our workstations. She simply shrugs saying she never talks to people unless they talk to her so naturally, people assume she is bitchy for not speaking.
From that day, we were friends and I introduced her to the rest of my pals, Neema, Eve and Marcus. I now feel horrible for throwing her under the bus with this whole Eve and Neema thing. She is like a sister to me and she has always had my back but I let her take the fall for something she didn't deserve. Especially with Neema mouthing off on how bad she is. Neema has never understood my relationship with B, I don't feel sexually attracted to her or ever want to date her, to me she is my sister. I understand Neema's reservations, anyone would be jealous but we don't even spend a lot of time together, Blake knows the story about my sister only that I left out the fact they are spitting images of each other. She never does anything inappropriate with me but the fact is, we are good friends but Neema never gets past that fact.
I feel weird that I love Blake like I loved my sister and I try my best to keep her around. Blake honestly thinks I am a creep but a nice creep so she remains my friend and we have been friends for two years now. I bet it's in those two years she noticed I had feelings for Eve because last night, there was a silent message passed between us that made me aware that my feelings weren't a secret. Neema and I have been dating for three years now, she proposed to me when I told her I was too focused on my work. We met at a leadership conference and she was there with Eve. Eve caught my eye with her aloofness and Neema approached me hoping she was advocating for Eve but she wasn't. I was disappointed but Neema was intelligent, principled, and headstrong. I decided to go with the flow and we have had an amazing relationship only that my heart always did beat for Eve.
I am over the moon that we hooked up with Eve last night, it marks the beginning of our relationship but it also means a lot of messy conversations with Neema and Marcus. Marcus would care less if I broke up with Neema or hooked up with Eve in secret but he has the right to know what is happening in his friends' lives. He has been my most loyal friend since we were six years old and I love him like a brother with all his weird behaviors. Since B stormed out, Neema has been dawdling in the room mumbling and cursing at Blake. Eve gave up trying to calm her friend down and went into the kitchen to make us breakfast. Marcus is glued to the television watching some football match but he keeps darting his eyes towards Neema. He is worried, I can tell but he can't do anything to help the situation. I am propped against the wall with my left foot hinged on the wall with my arms tightly folded in front of me. I am waiting for my girlfriend's meltdown to end so I can talk sense into her. But I am also stationed directly opposite the kitchen to watch as Eve whisks us some eggs while frying bacon on the weathered-down pan. If I was her boyfriend I would buy her a new fancy frying pan. Blake would shop for it, obviously and I would pay. It now hits me how weird my relationship with B is. To me, she's my sister but anyone else just sees a man who shares a lot with a girl who isn't his girlfriend or sister.
Urgh! If I get Eve as my girl, I will tell her the whole story to put her mind at ease, since I am not planning on cutting off Blake, that would mean losing my sister again. I can't bear it. Eve will have to understand, I hope she does.
"Are you even listening?" Neema's hoarse voice pulls me back to the present. As expected I nod, "Of course I am listening to you, my love." I try to hold her but she moves away from my reach and sits next to Marcus with a huff for the first time since she came in. Why are all girls cute when mad? Resigned I join them and mindlessly watch the match as I replay yesterday's events in my mind. I feel so happy like a child on a playground. I can't wait to hold Eve again. Her body is so soft and smooth. I felt whole having her in my arms and claiming her as my own. My thoughts wander to the kiss between me and Blake and I shudder! What was I thinking kissing her? But it helped she wasn't interested in me or Eve in that way or I would be traumatized. Normal people don't kiss their siblings sexually. I also start planning on convincing Eve to stop screwing that good-for-nothing f*ckmate of hers. I loathe him. If hate would be tapped and stored, mine would only fit in a silo. He doesn't value her or treat her as she deserves. Again that's the definition of f*ckmates, they are meant to just fuck and go. I feel Eve deserves more than a meaningless physical connection. Overwhelmed by my emotions, I find myself on my feet and walking towards the kitchen, "Lemme at least help Eve with breakfast if you won't speak to me." I say and walk quickly towards the girl I can't stop thinking about. I try my best not to skippy-hop into the kitchen. I am so gleeful.
In the kitchen, Eve jumps when she sees me standing at the entrance but immediately, she smiles, this adorable smile that makes my insides all mush. "How can I help?" I say loud enough but not so loudly to sound awkward. I silently walk up to her and steal a couple of kisses from her sweet lips. Her gentle hum rests on my throat and I almost cry from the emotions coursing through my veins. How I remain upright is a scientific miracle. My feet feel like jelly, my arms are like gummy worms and my eyes are out of focus save the girl that finally took my virginity. My penis, well, my penis is rock hard that I feel dizzy from all the blood settling down south. I am a wreck, to say the least.
Eve rests her head on my chest and relaxes. Yeap! This is what love should feel like. I hate that my happiness is at the expense of Neema but I couldn't fight it any longer. Blake and Eve's kiss was my undoing. I saw an opportunity and I took it. We untangle and make breakfast in perfect harmony as we touch and giggle like little children. I didn't know Eve liked me this much. My heart stops when I realize something,,, Eve is a natural flirt and she may be flirting with me for the thrill of keeping a secret. She is not a horrible person to do her best friend dirty like that but there is a small part in me that has to make sure that we are on the same page.
"Eve," I whisper, I can not risk getting caught by Neema this early, I don't even know what to say to her. "What exactly do you think we are doing?" I ask with my heart in my mouth. I don't think I can handle the wrong answer but I have to know what I am risking my relationship for. I can not bear to look at her so I look at her kitchen. It is so flowery! How come I never noticed how many patterns she has in her house? I make a mental note to explore her apartment, but I need an answer right now.
"Vin, I only spent the night with you because I have feelings for you. I was shocked that you felt the same way. I have hated myself for feeling this way because Neema really loves you and sees a future with you, but yesterday," she pauses, fumbles with her fingers and swallows, I assume she's fighting back tears, "yesterday, I couldn't stop myself from having you, after all that time of holding back and not saying anything." She peers up at me through her long eyelashes, guilt written all over her face. I am so relieved I do not care about how selfish I'm being right now. I grab her and kiss her deeply. We will make this work, we have to!
We let go of each other and finish making breakfast in silence. I carry out the serving tray to Neema and Marcus only to find them speaking in hushed tones. Something isn't right. Neema is sniffling but she quickly composes herself the moment we walk out. I choose to ignore what I just saw but will definitely third-degree Marcus on his business with my girlfriend. I am mad! What if they are having an affair? I wouldn't put it past Marcus to screw my girlfriend. If we aren't having sex, she must be getting it from somewhere else, is that it? I am raging mad as we eat our breakfast in total silence. Marcus evades my gaze throughout and Neema barely touches her food. Something is definitely up.