Werewolf of Konoha

"Alright kid. Like you said, it's time to pull out all the stops." Jiraiya said as we waited for my clones to hunt down Tsunade.

Off to the side he had shadow clones working with both Naruto and Sakura. The former to learn one of his father's legacy jutsu and the latter to polish up her battle instincts though sparing. I'd stripped down and ascended a grassy hill with him, stopping to sit at the top.

Jiraiya gave his instruction, "I want you to sit in absolute stillness, while focusing on the natural environment around us. See if you can feel a deeper connection to the world."

Oh shit. This dude is trying to teach me Sage Mode.

"Don't be troubled if you can't do it right away, getting this down took me ages." Jiraiya grinned as he sat across from me and took up a meditative position that I mirrored.

Jiraiya grinned as he unsealed a wooden staff, "You don't want me to catch you moving."

Rather than respond, I settled in for the exercise. It would obviously take me a long while to make a break though in such a difficult and esoteric field of… holy shit it's happening!

I felt myself becoming one with the world almost as soon as I closed my eyes and my senses stretched out beyond the horizon. It was as if I'd never even seen the world before now…

BONK!

"Ow what the hell dude!" I shouted as I rubbed my forehead and opened my eyes to see my hand shrinking down and shedding a thick layer of brown fur. In front of me, Jiraiya clenched his staff in a white knuckled grip with wide eyes.

"That!..." Dad barked, "That, I'm going to need to call in an expert for that."

Jiraiya took in a deep breath to steady his nerves then flew through the hand signs for the summoning jutsu.

Kermit the Frog appeared in a burst of smoke sporting a gray tuft of spiky hair on his head to go with his lush eyebrows and soul patch. The little toad wore a brown cloak and carried with him a similar wooden staff like Jiraiya's.

"Boy, this is Fukasaku, the Head of the Toad Clan and one of the Two Great Toad Sages." Jiraiya introduced the goblin-like creature.

"So this is him, eh Jiraiya-boy." Fukasaku grinned, "He's much better looking that you were at this age. Much better looking."

"As much as I appreciate a good roast, I didn't summon you for something so mundane." Jiraiya grumbled.

"Oh I can sense it. Lots of natural energy was pulled in here." the Toad Sage nodded, "But it doesn't feel like it was done by you."

"It wasn't. I just started with Kiba on learning to sit still, and moments later he was turning into a giant werewolf." Dad explained the situation.

"Yes I can see it. The boy is strong, but built like an animal. Easy to connect to nature with a body like that." Fukasaku spoke while hoping around me for a full examination, "Do it again."

I once more entered the meditative stance and connected back into nature.

"No, boy!" Fukasaku croaked as Jiraiya moved to brain me again, "Wait."

"But he transformed into an animal!" Jiraiya shouted.

"It is called the Sage Transformation for a reason… wait for it… wait for it… now!" Fukasaku called as Jiraiya bonked the Sage energy out of me again.

"Try not to grin so much." I grumbled as my body shrunk back down and shed its fur again.

"The boy has lots of talents for the Sage Chakra." Fukasaku stated, "The natural energy floods in quite fast - like it can't wait to merge with him - he won't have to stay still for very long to top off. Maybe even just a moment if he works hard, but the problem for now is just how fast the power comes and how hard it is to shut off. At least he won't have to worry about turning to stone though."

"What? Why does he get to not turn into a statue? Where's the fairness in the world?" Jiraiya pouted like a six foot three child.

"Fairness? I guess it is unfair to blow up if you take in too much natural energy." Fukasaku mused.

"Blow up?" I grinned, "Are you telling me… that I'm the bomb."

"Prolly level Konoha if you went off in the middle of it." Fukasaku said thoughtfully, "Be quite the pretty explosion too, flowers and vines and such would overgrow the wreckage really fast. Be a lovely vacation spot."

"Oh come on?" Jiraiya whined, "He gets to blow up if he messes up Sage Mode. Like a really cool final desperation attack? The world really is unfair."

"He'd also turn into a really huge and powerful wolf for like ten or so seconds as a vicious last stand too." Fukasaku added, "I'm really jealous. Just make sure to practice far away from anything you don't want blown up and you'll have Werewolf Sage Mode down in no time."

"How long is no time?" Jiraiya asked with a frown on his face.

"Maybe a week or two." Fukasaku answered and Jiraiya's countenance fell.

"Am I a joke to you?" he growled darkly.

"You definitely get treated like a punchline way more often than the other two Sannin… unless Orochimaru is black humor like 'Your mom is dead, haha!'"

"Who the hell would even laugh at something like that?" Jiraiya grumbled as he crossed his arms and turned his head away.

"He's your teammate, dude." I chuckled, "Anyway. Let's keep the practice up. I want to have Werewolf Sage Mode down by the time we find Tsunade. Maybe she's into furries."

"Oh God no." Jiraiya gagged, "Fuck you for giving me that mental image."

"Don't like the idea of your crush getting it on with a ten foot tall werewolf?" I teased the man who replied with a well timed one finger salute.

___________________________________________________________________________

I'd made good progress on Sage Mode as we closed in on Tanzaku Gai ahead of the en route Tsunade Senju and her entourage of her apprentice Shizune and their pig Tonton.

The pig is a registered ninja by the way, capable of sniffing out debt collectors and even silently impersonating her master. What a fine use of the finest medical shinobi in the world's time training that thing.

We beat the duo by a few days and the old man and I headed down to the bar with Naruto who after the first few drinks freaked out about the serving girl wanting his seed and ran off.

"Dafuq was that about?" Jiraiya chuckled after he knocked back another saucer of sake.

"I screwed up as the older bro." I told the man, "I was supposed to explain to him that strippers and whores exist to separate men from their money and get them mixed up in bullshit, but I got waylaid by pussy and then distracted by his apparent prowess as a sex god. The hos paid him for the night. I was super hyped about that. Sue me. He ended up on the hooks of like five down and dirty bitches and they baby trapped him."

Jiraiya shook with laughter as he asked, "For real?"

"They told him girls can't get pregnant on the weekend." I timed my answer for when he next took a drink and the man spit his sake all over the table, "Now he thinks all women are after his seed. It's fucking hilarious."

"It's not the weirdest quirk I've ever seen in a ninja." Jiraiya smirked and went to take another drink.

"When are we going to tell him about his dad?" I asked the man as he finished.

"Sarutobi tell you?" He hummed as he thought about the situation.

"No dude. I have eyes and have seen pictures of the Fourth. The fact that more people don't know about it speaks very poorly of the average IQ in Konoha." I countered and Jiraiya shrugged about the willful blindness of the people.

"I figured I'd tell him once he gets the Rasengan down." Jiraiya answered as he looked at the bottles of liquor on the wall and a thousand yards beyond, "Give him something to relate to the guy before the big reveal."

"I like it." I grinned, "I was worried you guys were going to keep avoiding the topic, but I don't think Minato's enemies will be able to look at his upcoming entries into the bingo books and miss the resemblance."

"True dat." Jiraiya agreed and we both drank.

"So you and Tsunade?" I led into the next topic, "Would we be crossing swords if I hit it?"

"Nah, she and I have never slept together." Jiraiya bemoaned his wretched fate, "Not for lack of trying, but she might as well have a chastity belt on for how tightly she guards the land of milk and honey."

"How about we go over all the ways you've tried that haven't worked." I nudged the guy with a grin.

"Hell no, dude." Jiraiya spat, "I've worked hard to build that road map of screw ups. I'm not going to kick you straight to the finish line with my decades of hard work. Figure it out yourself kid."

"Fine, ya stingy old man." I brushed him off, "I think I've got an angle on it. Just you wait and see."