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Son of Jiraiya and Zabuza's Waifu Adventure

Volume One: Son of Jiraiya, inactive Volume Two: Zabuza's Waifu Adventure , Active You can support me and my family by donating at ko - fi . com / jmanm

JManM · Anime & Comics
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45 Chs

Mentor of the Year

"Ahhhh… the Lightning Chakra Mode… that's a bit of a controversial topic…" the Hiruzen clone I was working with rubbed the back of his neck in awkward tenseness after I explained to him what I was currently working on, "The LCM has been a big part of our international strategy with Kumo for decades, it's even the reason why Almighty A never attacked us. You see, Kumo places a lot of its pride in the ability for its Kage and its Kage alone to use the LCM, its not that they are the only people who can do it, it's that everyone with the potential to learn the technique is also smart enough to not do it. It's a part of the Raikage's identity, and other people using it besides the Raikage and his chosen successor is a big insult to the office. So the threat of me sitting down and figuring it out has always been on the table when negotiating, but that is the final line in the sand. If Kumo found out that we can do it, then we'd be at war in a heartbeat, and it'd be a fight to the death."

"Oh that just sucks. I have so many ideas for cool ways to use it." I sighed as I sat on the ground listening to my new teacher.

"We are still going to do it, Kiba." the old man laughed deep from his belly, "The Forth Raikage is small change compared to his dad. If Almighty A was still around then I'd say no way, but there's a reason his son is just A and not Almighty A Junior."

"Hell yeah!" I shouted in glee at the possibilities of using LCM with my Hair Jutsu to absolutely destroy stuff.

"You'll just have to train the ability in secret and kill anyone that sees you use it." Hiruzen's clone added with a grim expression on his face, "The ability will be a final trump card to turn the tides if the village is ever in danger of destruction."

"I understand, Lord Third." I nodded, fully understanding the time and place to crack out such a killer technique.

Together the clone and I figured out the technique in an afternoon, and despite Hiruzen not being too thrilled that his clone decided to just say fuck it to decades of successful foreign policy, he agreed that as he ages the threat looses its teeth and that it would take more time than we had to develop my international reputation to the point that me threatening to figure out another Kage's signature technique would hold water.

I'd spend months dialing in the execution of the technique as clones don't have the capacity to practice it, but it was obviously time well spent. The Lightning Chakra Mode increases top speed, reaction time, strength, and durability to the highest levels seen without Kyuubi Chakra or Six Paths Chakra. So basically a dude up in the mountains found a way to almost bridge the gap between men and the gods and divine beasts, and Lord Third and Lord Fifth jacked that shit while sipping tea.

The ultimate vexation that man must feel in the afterlife if he was peeping game at us in that moment.

Hiruzen's knowledge base made these kinds of jumps in power possible. The man knew the way like the back of his hand, a master of ninjutsu and chakra theory, with the best manuals available based on his teachings, but the man himself kept a vast library in the halls of his brain case that others don't get access too without his direct teaching.

The man was basically a walking Sharingan at this point and even mastered Yin and Yang releases to the point that even hiden techniques are not a problem for him to replicate. Honestly I needed to keep this guy around just to work the incredible angles on jutsu we could make happen together regardless of how anyone may feel about his decisions in the narrative.

We'd already started improving the Inuzuka Jutsu in just the brief time we'd worked together, getting more power and efficiency out of the Four Legs Technique, a ninjutsu that not only increases a Inuzuka's range of motion, but also enhances speed, agility, and precision. As a transformation jutsu, this quality increase stacks with those of the Lightning Chakra Mode to enhance me to truly obscene levels of topspeed, and Hiruzen believes that as I continue to grow in body and skill with those jutsu it will just be a matter of time before I am the fastest ninja alive.

While I worked on maximizing these demanding physical abilities, Hiruzen used a second clone to instruct an army of mine each day, resulting in the kind of gains one would expect from Naruto or Sasuke. You know, sudden and jarring jumps in power and ability like how unlocking the Mangekyo Sharingan boosted Sasuke's Chakra more than the second stage of the Curse Seal, the weakest known multiplier for that state being a times ten increase in chakra potency.

Training with Hiruzen was like doing that, except for a ninja's skillset. And over time rather than instantly. So almost nothing like Naruto and Sasuke power ups outside of efficacy.

I had a single clone working with the real Hiruzen in his office every day, and while I don't hold with all the choices the man makes, he is a reasonable guy who tends towards personal freedom for his citizens, which is another win for Kono-America, and probably why Danzo has such a hate boner for the guy. But despite any criticism that can be leveled at the man, his leadership facilitated the rise of people like Minato Namikaze and Sakumo Hatake.

Though the Fourth Hokage was actually a net negative for the village when you realize that if he didn't shine so brightly Fugaku Uchiha would have taken the hat, and that would have put a lot of the tragic backstories to rest. Hindsight is 20/20 though and when you are standing next to a guy shining as brightly as Minato it seems crazy to think putting him in charge will fuck nearly everything up.

Time seemed to have no meaning when I was learning politics and ninjutsu from The Professor, but it dragged on endlessly during our few attempts to teach me Fuinjutsu. Unlike fanon hopes, fuinjutsu is not the cheat codes to reality, though it does have crossovers with formula techniques like the Flying Thunder God and can combine nicely with barrier techniques, those are primarily ninjutsu with some Fuinjutsu supplementation.

It really is about sealing stuff into other stuff, and while what can be sealed is pretty crazy like the force of an explosion, divine fire, and both living and chakra beings, it ultimately is not the limitless field of awesome fan fictions like to inflate it to be. Much like Runes in Harry Potter fics now that I think about it.

On top of it being a minor disappointment, I quickly discovered that like learning new languages and computer coding in real life, I have no talent for learning the intricate language of seals. I'm a real dud at it actually.

Thank God Hiruzen didn't keep pushing me to learn the subject after he declared me a talentless hack in the field, and we got back to making sweet sweet music with our other fields of study.

Despite that timeless quality I got while learning from the man, time did in fact move on, and I was reminded of this when my clone working the office popped early calling me in for an important meeting with the Kazekage's kids after we'd finished collecting the list of which Genin Cells would participate in the upcoming Chunin Exams and getting the a big chunk of the Jonin Corps on board with me as the next Hokage after Hiruzen steps down.

Or is killed. Whichever comes first.

Clone Hiruzen gave Baru and me a quick water style hosing followed by a wind style blow out, giving my overgrown malamute and I a truly ridiculous levels of volume to our hair and it took me a few minutes to get it back down to the Madara knockoff look I kept it at to maximize the efficiency of my Hair Justu.

Kakashi waited at the entrance to the Hokage Tower and gave the pair of us a lazy waive.

"Hey Kiba." he said without removing his gaze from his red covered copy of Make-Out Violence.

"Getting ready to audition for the movie?" I asked the man as we stopped to talk with him.

Kakashi straightened out of his slouch and I realized that I was now an inch taller than him and probably fifty pounds heavier without adding in the raw poundage spiking off my scalp. The man is tiny despite the way he was drawn in the manga always looking twice the size of the children under his command.

"You know it." He nodded his head.

"I'm thinking about getting a good fake ID and sending in an audition myself." I smirked as the man's single eye conveyed his full dismay at the idea.

"After all, the lead is supposed to be a bit of a brute, and despite my genteel ways I do have the look on lock." I smiled.

"Yeah… well… the Paradise film will be better." Kakashi sighed in defeat then rallied, "But maybe… yeah. That'll work."

"Your not thinking of outing me as a kid, are you?" I examined the man with wide eyes as if peering into his very soul.

"What a terrible thing to think of your sensei." Kakashi side stepped, "And besides, I think you will have quite enough work on your hands coming up to be thinking of taking up acting as well, after all I have put Team 7 up for the Chunin Exams."

The Jonin pulled out the sign up forms and handed me one.

"Alright, I have to go track down Naruto and Sakura to get them theirs. Be at Academy room 301 tomorrow at four in the afternoon." Kakashi instructed before he vanished in a burst of speed and falling leaves.

I borrowed a pen from the front desk and filled the form before entering the Hokage's Office where I found Team Baki with their sensei as he addressed Sarutobi.

"What do you mean you'll do nothing? The son of the Kazekage has been badly beaten in your village before the start of the Chunin Exams!" Baki shouted at the unflappable elder statesman.

"And I told you, that the brat had it coming and is lucky I've called my best guy in to patch him up so he can perform on the public stage with hopefully more dignity than he has on the private. And if you think for another minute that I am going to censure my shinobi for defending children in the streets, my grandchild you fucking idiot, then I'll have Rasa tan your ass for your impudence." the Kage bellowed back.

Sometimes I wondered if my presence helped Hiruzen find his nuts once more, because I don't remember many times in the story when the old man displayed half of this showing of spine.

"Alright ya desert babies, daddy's here to make the booboos go away." I cooed as I addressed the room.

"You're not my father." growled the red head pipsqueak psycho that I was probably going to have to kill sometime soon as I don't know if Naruto has the talk no jutsu in him after losing his underdog status from my training.

"Obviously." I barked back, "If I was you'd be taller… and have eyebrows."

Kankuro and Temari stiffened at my come back, but I just started up the Mystic Palm and went to work on Kankuro, starting with the pair of shiners decorating his face.

"Someone took the time to give you a proper beat down." I chuckled as the results of my analysis jutsu came in.

"Young Kankuro ran afoul your teammates on his way to this meeting." Sarutobi chuckled.

"Well, that's strange. Usually people don't survive those kinds of encounters with them." I mused, "Guess the cat hat isn't for nothing, kid. Maybe you should hold on to your remaining eight lives a little tighter."

Kankuro opened his mouth to protest but I silenced him by sticking my fingers in there and pretending to check his teeth as obnoxiously as possible.

"Gross!" He shouted as I took them out and wiped them on his black jumpsuit.

A minute later I finished up my work fixing him up enough to compete, but leaving enough soreness to teach him some manners.

"Thank you, Kiba." Hiruzen clapped his hands together as I stepped away from the boy, "Now to keep anything else like this from happening, Kiba will escort your party as you move around during your stay in Konoha, wouldn't want something like this happening again."

I had a silent conversation with the Hokage, exchanged in a single instant of eye contact.

'Are you trying to get me to tap the Kazekage's daughter?'

'Tear that ass up, Kiba.'

'I was born for this mission.'

'I know.'

I am fifty percent sure that is exactly what he meant and in that moment we connected more deeply than if he'd taught me a thousand jutsu.

First off, big thanks to the gentleman who donated to me at my ko-fi page. You're the man, wstiglet. I got 2200 hundred words out in this chapter and will put out the other 800 you funded in tomorrows release. 

Hiruzen sounds like a absolute cheat character when you read up on his powers and it is obvious that he wanted to die in that fight against Orochimaru rather than deal with the aftermath. I don't think he would have beaten Orochimaru because the Power of White Snake that he has is pretty fucking obscene in survival utility, but it was obvious that H-town could have sealed the Kage without the Reaper Death Seal. 

I want thoughts on nerfing Edo Tensei. It is full fucking retard as is, allowing the user to bring back an unlimited number of shinobi in their prime who have infinite chakra and infinite regeneration. I was thinking of upping the sacrifice count to four total, and giving the raised shinobi the maximum chakra of those four people while also giving them four total revives rather than infinite in both categories. 

Send me your thoughts on the topic. 

Lastly Honey Badgers won no doubt, I did the coin tosses to determine whether Kiba can sign with them or not, and with heads as yes I flipped heads six times in nine tosses, so we are good to go.  They will get involved during the Shippuden Time skip. I will say right now that they don't have a method of sitting around to get Sage Mode, but they do have a Sage and his method of achieving it is pretty hilarious, meaning that Kiba's method will also be hilarious. 

Also points to anyone that picked up the ISSTH references. That dude is the man in the Xanxia genre for sure.

You can support me and my family at

ko - fi . com / jmanm

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