Chapter-8

"Son, I am really happy for you. You make us so proud." Mom smiled at me.

I smiled back, chewing my food. The atmosphere during dinner was light that evening.

"Your dream has come true. You always wanted to settle in the city, didn't you?" Naomi asked.

I nodded, my heart skipping a beat.

"Mom, I guess he is ready to get married now." Naomi laughed. "Make me an aunt soon."

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah. There are rumors about you at school." Puai said casually.

I frowned. "What rumors?"

"That you and Miss. Fiona, the music teacher are secretly dating."

"Eh?" I turned confused. Why was there such rumor?

"Remember when you were bored and visited the music room to play the piano for a while?"

I nodded.

"I heard from a hot gossip that Miss. Fiona was looking at you admiringly when you were playing the piano. And the students sitting there started to ship you both. They said you both match together. Ew...Miss. Fiona is way too beautiful for you."

My mouth was hung open. I was shocked.

My whole family burst out laughing.

"My brother is so handsome. Of course, no one can keep their eyes off him. Poor Miss. Fiona." Naomi laughed.

I shook my head. "Ridiculous rumors."

Puai laughed.

"But are you dating anyone presently, son?" Mom asked.

I gulped down nervously. "Um...no mom."

Naomi shook her head. "He was such a heart breaker at school and also a playboy, mom. But he suddenly stopped dating at senior secondary and has been single ever since. It's shocking."

Mom frowned.

I quietly ate my food.

"So you used to screw around at school?" Dad asked.

Puai laughed. "Somebody got caught."

"If you can't find someone for yourself, I will start looking for a nice girl myself." Mom grinned.

I shook my head. "I don't want to date or get married for now mom. I just started working. Let me settle down on my own and then we will have this discussion."

"Yeah, right." Dad agreed.

"But let me set you up for blind dates when you come to the city." Naomi grinned.

I glared at her.

.................

I plopped down on the bed and sighed. Naomi was right. I stopped screwing around in senior secondary and never looked back. That playful playboy was gone and never came back. Reminiscing about the past is so cringe sometimes but also it makes me realize how much I have changed with time. In school, I was so different. In University, I was so different than my school self and the teacher me was so different from both the self.

After he was gone, I never really thought about getting someone new. He made me realize that no matter how much we give someone of ourselves, they don't appreciate. No matter how much we care, they always take our feelings for granted.

I sighed as a lump rose in my throat.

After giving my everything to someone, he broke my heart apart. It remained unfixable. And I never felt like trying again, afraid they would leave me and break me again. The fear is so intense that I couldn't even imagine myself loving someone again.

But I had decided to try again. For my own sake, I couldn't let myself be chained down by my own fears. I had decided to try and date again. Maybe someone can help me trust again.

........................

"One, two, three, four..."

"What are you counting?" I asked.

He sighed. "I bought six apples but now there is only five."

I chuckled. "Must be stolen."

"But who would steal my apples?"

"Anyone can."

He sighed.

The silence stretched.

I frowned as it felt weird. It wasn't weird for us to remain silent but it was just a inner feeling whenever something was up.

"You tired?" I asked quietly.

"Huh? Yeah a little."

"Did something happen?"

He sighed. "A lot is going on. I don't know what to do. It's stressful."

"Oh? What happened?"

"My schedule is so hectic. We get assignments all the time and to write practical takes so long. Also everyone I know keeps on asking me what I am going to do after graduation. It's so annoying." He sighed, frustrated.

I nodded, listening attentively.

"I have two options for now. Either I work in the city or go out of country..."

I frowned and bit my lips nervously. I thought we would both live in the city then why...

"Working here would be good but my parents also told me to think about going abroad because the opportunities outside would be better than here."

I gulped down. What was he talking about? I thought we were clear.

"It's stressful. I have only a few months before graduating and I haven't even decided anything yet. My friends are going abroad and I guess I am the only one who haven't decided anything."

I took a deep breath. I should support and comfort him was all I could think even though I was a little hurt.

"Hey, listen." I started quietly. "It's okay, you know. Don't feel burdened by looking at others. It is your life and your decision. I can't say much about this situation but just hold on a little longer. Things will get better. Just hold on." My heart clenched weirdly. I wasn't always so sensitive but lately I started to get hurt easily.

He sighed. "Yeah I hope things get better."

I stayed quiet, not knowing what to say more. Yeah, of course it was his life and his decision. He wouldn't change his plans just for me. I started to feel like a fool for planning ahead and being so carefree about it.

"Kwan?" He called.

"Yeah?"

"I have something to ask."

"What?"

"Were you serious when you said you will attend an University in the city?"

My heart skipped a beat. Why was he asking that?

"Um...Yeah. But I am not sure...now."

"Okay."

The quiet 'okay' ripped my heart. Maybe I was the fool, ready to make things work even though everything was uncertain. Maybe I was stupid to think we could make it work.

"Umm hey?" I called.

"Yeah?"

"You should sleep now. You are tired so take some rest. You might feel better after getting proper sleep."

"Oh, it's fine. I am okay."

I gritted my teeth. I knew he would say that but I wasn't in a mood to talk with him anymore. I was upset, I was mad. At myself. I didn't want to let him know.

"I...I am sleepy." I lied.

"Oh..."

I waited quietly but he was taking a long time to reply.

"Goodnight?" I asked as I ran out of patience.

"Oh, okay. Goodnight then."

"Goodnight." I hanged up.

I exhaled loudly and closed my eyes.

Was I the fool? Did he forget what I said? Did he not want to try to make it work? Did those eight months mean nothing to him? Was he just using me all that time?

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