Chapter-3

"Shit Kwan! I am coming!"

"Hold on a little longer. Let's come together."

"No. No. I can't hold on." He gave out a compressed groan.

I groaned quietly as I found my release. I grabbed some tissue from the bed side table and cleaned myself. I grabbed my phone back.

"You okay?" I asked. I could hear his heavy breathing.

"Wait a min. I need to go to the bathroom."

"Okay." I chuckled.

I lied down back on the bed and exhaled. It was quiet on the other end. It was two in the morning and I was tired but I didn't want to sleep without talking with him. He was busy doing some assignments so he was free from twelve thirty. I didn't like waiting. But well, if it was for him, I could do it.

"I am back." He said, his breathing whooshing heavily.

"Welcome back."

"Yes."

"So how you like that? First time doing it on bed." I grinned in the darkness.

He laughed quietly. "You!"

"What?" I laughed, trying to keep my voice low.

"Why are you like this? No, how are you like this? You...you make me have no options. You literally make me agree to do even the most stupid things." He sounded so cute.

I laughed. "But you liked it right?"

He was quiet.

I waited, my eyelids turned heavy. I was never a late night owl.

"Yes, I liked it." He said after a few seconds.

I smiled sleepily, my eyes closing involuntarily. "See. You feel better now right?"

"Yes."

"When you are stressed, you gotta do it. It will help you relax and sleep better." I murmured.

He chuckled. "Is there no other way to relax?"

"Well, for someone like me, this is the best option. Um...there is another way though."

"What?"

"Green tea."

"Ewwww....never! How do you even drink it? It tastes terrible. I puked after tasting it once."

I laughed weakly. I was too sleepy and had no more energy to keep up with the conversation. But I didn't want to end the call either.

It turned silent. I guess he was tired after a long day too. He was a college student, classes from nine to five unlike me whose school ended at three and I nap the whole evening and still feel sleepy early at night.

"You know what, Kwan? I always think if you were here, my world would be so much better...and happier."

I heard him. I wanted to reply but the weight of sleep was too much. Without replying, I drifted off to sleep.

....

"If you were here, my world would be much more better...and happier..." the whisper rang in my ears and tears blurred my eyes.

There I was again, wide awake at three in the morning, reminiscing the past that I held so dearly in my mind. Five years had already past without him but it still felt like yesterday. His voice was still fresh in my mind. And all the conversations and moments with him was treasured in a part of my mind. I wish if maybe I would have tried a little harder, maybe, just maybe I could find him. But I was helpless.

We ended in such a note that still make me regret. If only I wasn't so sleepy that night. If only I had told him I loved him back. If only I had held him tighter. If only...

I couldn't think anymore about it. It was painful. My heart ached. The lump in my throat felt hard to swallow. The tears flowed down my cheeks. My breathing felt tight. And in that moment of solitude, I gave in.

I buried my face in a pillow and sobbed lightly, trying to keep my voice down. The walls were definitely not so sound proof. And at night, the sounds would echo louder.

Why was I not able to let go of the memories? Why couldn't I let go of him? Why did it hurt so much to think about him? I always thought the wounds would heal with time. But the more the time passed, the deeper it got. Was it how it felt to be broken hearted? Or was it more painful than that? Did it hurt so bad because we had no goodbyes?

.................

"Okay. Have you all studied for your exams? It's already knocking." I smiled at the classroom.

Their faces fell.

"Sir, please spare me good marks in English. I literally suck at it."

"Sir, math is such a problematic subject. All it has is problems and problems."

"Sir sir" The classroom turned chaotic.

"Okay. Okay. Silence now." I waited for them to keep quiet. "I hope you all do well. Don't be too nervous or freak out. It's just an exam."

"A single sheet of paper can not decide my future." Mina spoke.

I turned to glare at her but instead broke into a smile.

The class broke down into hysteric laughter.

"That's our class's motto." Someone shouted.

I shook my head at them.

I sat on my desk in the staff room and went through my phone. I hadn't got the chance to check any text or emails. I scrolled down through my text and found a few from my best friend Juni.

Juni- Oi...what are you up to these days? I thought of calling but then I feel you are busy. That is why I am texting. So Naomi told me you are planning to come to the city for work. You know what? That's such an awesome idea. Come live in my apartment building. It's new so it's almost empty. It would be so great and fun to work at the same city and live in the same building. Damn man, I miss you a lottttttt. Come here soon. AND CALL ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I HAVE TEA TO SPILL!!!!

I smiled at her text. She was living a good life, working as a nurse in the city. My elder sister was a doctor and they both worked at the same hospital. They always called me to join them in the city but I just didn't want to leave my home.

But recently I decided to move out and start a new life. How long would I stay at my parent's house anyway?

"Excuse me sir?"

I looked up to see Mrs. Rin, the history teacher. "Yes ma'am?"

"Cong Puai is your sister?"

I nodded. "Yes."

She sighed. "I have a complaint against her. She keeps on skipping her classes. Most of the time she is either in the library taking a nap or in the music room. Please tell her to attend her classes. I am tired of telling her already."

"Uh...Okay, I will talk to her."

"Thank you."

Well, as if I didn't know Puai had been skipping her classes. I knew it from forever. I tried to tell her to not skip classes but I was in no position that time because I used to skip my lectures a lot too. It was just boring. And if I go to her as a teacher now, she would probably call me nosy. But she was my sister after all so I had to show her the right path.

....