Some Love...

Waking up at five normally sucks, but today is the day that I would gladly do it. I've been talking to Avila for about four months now consistently. I decided that I'll ask her to prom, which is at the end of next month. It only feels right because yesterday she told me that she didn't have a date, so I'll ask her today when I walk her home.

Readying for the day never has been so tedious and hard. It was at times like these when I wish I didn't have just a basic fade or was without facial hair.

At first it was nothing more than a crush, a dream that I had from afar. This year I got lucky with getting a class with her! And sitting next to her and talking made her even more amazing and beautiful. If I don't get her, I'll probably die or something. I don't expect her to tell me that she loves me or anything, but if I can get her to say yes...

I wrote her a poem that I feel she will like. I didn't see her walking to school, but I was also running a little late.

Sitting through class, my excitement is at an all-time high. After first period I saw her in the hallway. At first, I reached in my pocket for my poem, but seeing the packed hallway I thought 'Not yet I have to wait till later.' So, I simply smiled and say "hey" to her. Her beauty always gets me, even though she really didn't do anything special today, but I never care. She waves back and smiles, we pass each other and go to our next class.

Before I went inside, I saw Andre run up to her and say "hey" before she came into class as well. He said something and she laughed kinda hard. I don't know why she deals with that guy he always is sleeping with all the girls in school without care. It's annoying hearing girl's faun over his long dreads and goatee. It's whatever though today is my day.

At lunch I hang with the boys in our club room. We were able to snag a classroom and write it off as the alternative music club where we listened to Rap, Rock, R&B, J pop, and K pop. At first, I didn't want to talk about how I felt but I just wind-up venting to them about the whole thing.

"I mean we aren't even a thing or anything but there's a vibe I just dig. I… I don't if she'll say yes or anything." My friend, Kyrie rolled his eyes "Mann stop being a hoe."

Of course, he'd say that, after all he was 'the man without fear.'

Everyone in the group snickered, but Steve, he just stopped plucking his guitar making the moment even funnier. Steve spoke up "Well I don't think no is the worst-case scenario. I think your over thinking it." I understand that sentiment, but I know that no will hurt more than anything I've ever felt. "Speaking of love, y'all wanna hear this song I've been working on?" Everyone agreed and Steve started playing and he said the name for it was 'Some.' It was smooth and had an old funk vibe to it.

Finally, my last class rolled around, and I couldn't wait to see her. She sat by me as usual, and we started talking about prom and what we were doing this weekend. Finally, she asked me if I had a date. The teacher then told us to be quiet, and I whispered, "I'll tell you after school." She smiled and nodded, excited to hear about it. I had set it up perfectly. Success, I could feel it in my bones. School was over, and we began walking home.

She finally asked me about my date. I stopped walking, my heart was pounding so fiercely, palms sweaty and throat dry. I pulled out my poem.

"The days never seemed to last long enough, the nights never dark enough. Thoughts of you fill the time of days, having your smile replay, never ceasing always trying to stay. Your love is something I seek, your heart for me, I hear it speak. Give me a chance with prom and I'll give you the best night you'll see."

I didn't take my eyes off the poem the embarrassment building with each passing second as I wanted for her response. "Ummm, I'm going with Andre, he asked me earlier and I said yes I'm sorry, I really really liked the poem though."

I was breathless, I waited too long. I felt the tears trying to escape but I didn't want her to see me cry so I dashed for it. So fast was the actions, I heard her yell my name, the tires screech, the lights flash, the horn blare as I froze.

Now when I think about it the blood was surprisingly warm, I guess her saying no was the worst thing to happen to me. Watching her cry over my casket hurt me more than I ever felt in life, and to think all I wanted was some of her love.