webnovel

So Will I

"Going to jump off...!!" "No" "Then, what...? you here for fishing at this hour, in that position…!! "…." "That night., whenever I think about it, it never fails to amaze me. I wonder how I ended up at the edge of the bridge." A mumbling voice escaped from a mouth as that person stretches his arms and scratch his wrist. "All I knew was a massive headache caused by all those excessive alcohol. But maybe it was what people say, "Fate"! This is the story between 20 yrs old Kim Newmoon who is a confused extreme overthinker and a cold, detached, and reserved personality Lee Haemin who doesn't give a damn about people, and things...happened to get entangled strangely by fate one night. However, Both of them had a lingering past that they are prisoners of. As the saying goes, 'the present is the outcome of the past', Will they ever be free from the past? Will they ever embrace their true selves? Will, they ever be successful in unfolding every trivial secret that lies beneath their dark past? Or surprisingly got more tangled with it? And last but not least or the love between them unaware of? Note= Guys this is going to be a slow-burn romance. I hope you will not avoid and stay with me on my journey.

Mipany · LGBT+
Not enough ratings
43 Chs

Chapter=4 (Yaa, Bark!)

~Tring~Tring~

"Hello, Mum?"

"Yaa, Bark!"

"…?"

For real, Newmoon instantly pulled away his phone from his ear and dazed out blankly looking at the phone with perplexed expressions wondering for a second if he dialed the wrong number or contacts.

A quick short pause and he sensed a familiar lost feeling of the scent of somebody. Annoying one!

He crinkled his nose as he answered in a bitter tone,

"oi john..why are you the one picking up Mum's phone?"

It was non-other than his younger brother, Kim John.

"Where is she? Quickly, give a huge shout-out and pass her phone."

Newmoon ordered as he massaged his forehead in pain.

"Do you think I would be picking up if she was right here? Like as if I have a handful of time? Huh?"

"…John..tell me directly if you are going to..or hung up if you aren't! I've got so much in my hands right now!"

"Yaa Yaa.., like I didn't know about your busy schedule. It slipped through my mind for a moment that you are a busy businessman, and have to attend multiple seminars and meeting right?"

John, his brother is in his last year of high secondary school. In age, he was 2 years younger but has a tone of venom snake in his tongue, and in most of the fights, he would win over Newmoon just verbally let alone by being physical.

"Hmph, You and your same f**king words. You're always like this, packed up with your so-called work. But-

His tone shifted a little deep and low as he continued,

"Have you ever wondered about our family? Do you ever show any care, or attention or have any idea what's happening in our family?"

Newmoon wondered, "John..what's up with that sudden topic?"

Although it was natural things for family members to discuss, however, john never talked much about the family-related matter to newmoon but whenever he does, it was always in the same bittersweet tone and somewhat mocking for some unknown reasons.

"Did something happen in the family?"

"..."

With a pause, he lazily responded," what new could occur? Same problems as usual. Money problems!"

Like john confessed, it wasn't new. As far as Newmoon could recall his memories of his childhood financial conditions, it was bad. Talking about it, Jina knew the whole part of the intestine more than her siblings.

One must be thinking the fact Jina married into such a highly wealthy family would be enough to solve every problem. But unfortunately, it wasn't the case in their family. Of course, pride and ego come ahead of everything.

Having heard the same thing, as usual, Newmoon couldn't help but sigh, "Haa! So apparently where is she?"

"In the upper Terrance!"

"And dad..?"

"He went outside probably wandering somewhere aimlessly, otherwise where else he could be? You do know how our father is..his behavior don't you?"

Exactly if not Newmoon knew then who would know? For most of their childhood, he had been under such a strict, human surveillance camera type of person all his life so, how could he not know about him? Among the three of them, Newmoon had spent more time with dad lovingly or unlovingly.

Thinking about small details, his head throbbed.

His main mission was to talk about his problems and now look at it where he got himself into, another shit hole.

Rubbing his forehead, Newmoon suggested,

"Don't you try to calm them down? Talk with them separately? Suggest them? Do you have to be on a computer for that long huh? 24/7 playing games?"

Hearing it, John freaked out!

"yaa rapper, what do you take me for huh? Do you think I only play and bluffed around? Man.., of course, I do! I F*uking do..! More than even you do!"

Which he wasn't wrong about. These past years his whole family went through all turmoil and hurricanes in real life..during those times jina noona was the only one who carried them on her shoulders and got invested in it wholeheartedly followed by john in the second.

As for Newmoon, it seems as though he was so caught up in his thoughts and personal life that he barely had time to look out for other things happening in their family.

Hearing the last part of john's sentences, he felt stabbed somewhere in the deep part of his heart.

He could only open his mouth and closed it pathetically. In the end, the fact it was a bitter harsh truth that he couldn't even argue and defend himself.

As expected, silence fell into the room.

Newmoon was lost in words while as for john, there wasn't even a hint of him opening up and talking before newmoon.

It continued until a small sound of a lady could be heard in the background through the phone,

"Who are you talking to.. on my phone?"

It was low, and that only could be heard if it was completely silent. But thanks to his soberness, he could hear the sound mere as footsteps of people too.

John startled, "MUM?!"

Newmoon imagined john must have touched his heart in shock during the short period. Although John looked like he was like an elder brother to Newmoon,..scolding and bossing him around, at last, he was still younger than him, childless. He easily got scared in a broad daylight let alone about the night. And to talk about luck and timing, it was also evening time.

Newmoon had already got a clear expression of a shocked john in his eyes. So the reaction was quite satisfying for him. Secretly he was happy and thought it served john for what he always did to him.

"Make some sound before coming mum. You walk like a ghost! I almost died!"

"look at you- don't you feel any shy and hesitation? Being an adult boy and flinching over such a small surprise? How are you gonna grow up in the future? Hmm?"

Mum spoke out in a pathetic tone.

"You are following in the same footsteps as your dad huh? And one day be like him too? Getting fed upon through wife huh?"

"Mum!"

John screeched a long tone of disagreement.

"Now, give the phone to me, and go do your work!"

With an instant hustle and bustle, john's voice was left out and only Mum's voice called out,

"Yes, Newmoon.!"

And no need to wonder about how she knew him. Although Newmoon didn't have much action with a family member, still other than him john would never have the nerve to talk in that manner to another person at all. Especially, Jina noona.

"Oh mum, did something happen again? John was mentioning-

"-Like there's any day without our fight!"

"Again about the same money matters?"

Newmoon asked worriedly!

"umm. your father always does the same things which I've been against..constantly running after starting a new business where always he either ended up losing every cent of his money or fell into bad debt. sigh!! I should've never married him in the first place."

"Mum..?!"

Newmoon called her Mum in a soft and helpless voice. When it comes to showing empathy or consideration he lacked tremendously.

A cloud of worries and pitiful covered his face the fact he had no idea how to express his emotions in front of her.

"Nevermind. Let's leave that a**hole! your noona called me yesterday.. and told me that she had talked with your university principal about you!!"

As soon as he heard, A voice popped up in Newmoon's head thinking about Jina.

"Oh..so yesterday she had a conversation with the principal.?"

"Anyway when's your orientation class? I heard from her that it's tomorrow..is it?"

Again another voice appeared from the right side of the brain,

"Oh. So she was playing innocently all this time hm?"

Only then, did he realizes the truth of what exactly Jina was saying at the end of the conversation back then. But it won't affect her now the milk has already spilled out. It's not like he could yell at her too.

Newmoon helplessly answered, "yes!"

"oh, then it's good for you. Have a good start."

Newmoon clenched his dry lips and blustered out taking all of his courage as if it was a now or never sort of situation.

He hesitated for a sec before he says it, "Mum. Why don't I drop this university thing and open a small business from scratch?"

There, he said it. Finally.. at the end. With his whole heart, he poured every bit of emotion he had been holding on to though he was shuttering.

"I don't have any interest in pursuing graduation once a..gain. I won't even ask for money to start. Just give me some time..! I promise I'll pay back really-

"- Newmoon I think you're forgetting something important here!"

The words he was about to spill out automatically got forced to swallow them down.

Mum's tone got real serious," This dream is of your elder noona, Jina!"

"The fact your noona has only studied over high school due to extreme financial conditions, only she knew the consequences of being illiterate. Do you know how much from school, You're always bragging about how you're going to pursue higher studies no matter what? and yelled at us about taking a loan or doing something about money for university. and finally, now that she eventually got married and has more than enough money, why are you stepping into her dreams, hope, and your own life as well?"

"hmm? Like all this time she has been telling you and john to study harder, and become independent. She must have encountered several experiences to realize that. Even she is covering all of your expenses regarding college, your allowances, and your living accommodations as well."

"Everything has been all-well occupied what do you need more?"

"Back then when you're desperate about money for joining college, by then none of us had a single cent of money...of which Jina talked to this day that how she felt regret and truly helplessness back then. Now when everything is on your table, you are turning your head huh? It is for your own life"

A long explanation hits Newmoon's head like a cold bucket of ice water waking him up with a sense of reality.

Jina's mission wasn't wrong too. All this time she was the one to carry the whole family's burden. She even got married to such a family without even seeing his middle to old age husband, let alone knowing. Just all because of haywire family's conditions did she agree on it too directly without thinking twice.

There were some rumors as well regarding how one-time Jina was almost about to engage a deaf..?, blinded..?, dumb..?, or even a physically or mentally disabled person too?? But nobody knew what's the truth as well. Like how john blamed him for his self-centered quality, he truly deserved it. Newmoon himself had never seen his brother-in-law's face at all, let alone the remaining family members. All he knew was the little too blurred, shattered memories of that period.

Newmoon just sat still with a thousand thoughts floating into his mind.

"So, Newmoon right now, your main focus should be studied, not opening about business, running for money, etc. I am not telling you no fully though. If you are that willing then you could also follow it along with your studies. Like I've seen a maximum number of students doing that too..!" here your father is running wild with the idea of it made me lose my hair .sigh.. but what youth don't understand nowadays is, "Money can be made at any time and age, but education doesn't."

"But my opinion is that you continue your studies. That's it"

Newmoon,"…"

After a long decade of pin-drop silence, Newmoon finally spoke again. He licked his dry lips and only said, "Ok"

Their conversation finished up. And another Moment he stared blankly at the abyss.

Afterward, He stood up from his crooked, wrinkled bed sheets and went directly to the corner of the room and stood up in front of the large long objects, covered with a black silk cloth.

He grabbed the end of the side piece of the cloth and pulled it down. It was non-other than a mirror.

Nobody knew for how long it was like that.

He stared at himself, from all the tip of the rugged, unmanaged hair to the point where his long crooked branch-like nails were grown from his toes enough to tear the soft bed sheets into millions of pieces. No wonder there were multiple holes in the sheets.

He looked like an animal A-Z.

A disorganized hair almost covering his eyes too, eyes sunken deep down followed by a vast sea of dark circles, lips rough and dry when touched one could feel if it was stone or the skin of a crocodile. Thankfully, he was single. Otherwise one could feel his reasons for the breakup.

A peak of the pimple was there too. Like several mountains on each plane. Looking through his dress, he almost seemed like a haggard person, with a simple shirt, shorts, and long grown hair on his legs. Honestly, if given an old, drenched bowl to him and left in that room taken photograph then actually his business would reach worldwide in one night.

However, Newmoon has never seen himself neither in front of a reflection or a mirror. So, he was taking time.

Instantly a cold chilling breeze howled through the large floor-to-ceiling windows floating the curtain right through Newmoon's face. Tickling his cheeks and trying to flirt with him. Where the wind bought some other buried feelings as well.

A person's backside body with a blurred face appeared right at his eyes. Behind him, another person in the same categories was there. Two of them looking at newmoon and the bunch of the same colored dress students were in the background once again. One of the tall guys extended his arms towards him and yanked him to join them.

Small fragmented words spelled too.., but couldn't notice from where it was sounding,

"….a..p..e..r..!!"

"…a..p..e..r..!!"

Soon a large burst of laughter followed them into the whole hall.

Glancing down, the two of them were holding his hands and leading towards the soft yet warm kiss of the sunrays. Nobody knew where and how did they end up there? Instantly a sudden force of the strong wind pushed them eventually breaking and slipping their hands from each other and resulting newmoon to be waking up from his dreams.

"…?"

~Tring~Tring~

When his eyes suddenly sprang open, A trail of continuous alarm was on playing on loop. He glanced at the alarm clock with side eyes. An enormous amount of laziness flowed into his blood early in the morning as he carried himself to walk off for attending the orientation class at university.

Time was already around 10:00 am when he reached the entrance of his university. Within half an hour, he reached there. All the way he carried such a foreboding and about to cry type of mixed pitiful expression on his face.

And it got all worse now the fact he was about to take his first step.

He tilted his chin to glance at the top of the banner.

At a great height, a huge colorful banner was hung on its entrance gate. It was for the freshman as a welcome theme.

The whole area was busy with the hustle and bustle of students, and the crazy number of people out there. Judging from the third perspective, Newmoon could never be found in that crowd. It was like a colony of ants.

Only when the hundreds and thousands of voices got into his head.., did he realize he fucked up.

At the end of his palm, his little fingers began to shake hysterically. He slowly lowered his head and stepped in. Not because he liked it, but he had to. He also figured out that the more he gonna wait, the more there will be a long queue of students which will trigger his anxiety.

Following the way to a certain point along with other freshman strangers, he diverts his direction at the one turning point.

A green lane and a bunch of greenery nature could be seen everywhere. Such a clean freak area. From the position of Newmoon, along miles of parallel gorgeous structures with each building department could be viewed. Under the soothing weather of autumn, as if because the flowers bloomed mesmerizingly in every corner of the entire place or students there themselves were pretty enough..every individual was blessed with a beautiful and handsome face and body.

Somebody did say the truth. Youth is like a blooming flower. They looked great in anything and any particular outfit.

However, through Newmoon's lens, it didn't work a lot in his favor. Neither did he wonders about girls' look or their body.

The only things which came to his liking just a little bit were the scene, its fresh greenery, and the bloomed flower everywhere. Amidst the chaos, panicked and suffocating feelings, it starts to help him to keep grounded.

He went along the directionless path and eventually stopped at the big yellow tree. Under it, A sitting bench was too installed. Among all the breathtaking trees and peaceful spots. His heart magnet towards it.

Immediately afterward, He walked towards it and calmly sat on the bench.

As if the tree welcomed him, It bestows a kind, gentle, and calming soothing breeze overflowing within him. Counting it, It happened to him for a second time, first back at Han river bridge and now at university. He must have done some good deeds regarding that in his past lives that he always received extra special treatment. More than its healing wind, the sound of breeze made out of flapping several hundreds of tree leaves whispering right through Newmoon's ears opened his heart inside out, healing from the deep inside in a way as if it was trying to communicate him through feelings?

For the first time, he had such a relaxed and peaceful mind in a while. He closed his eyes as he started to feel through every touch?

In every flow of cold wind, a pleasant warmth could be felt at heart in a way as if it took all the heaviness as it passed out, only leaving the chilling as well as softness surfaced on the back side of his head.