Why do you sound like wakaba? (Draft)

A/N: This was a draft that I made but never uploaded cuz...I forgot why and ima just upload it cuz why not? So here it is, the FINAL chapter that I ever made for this book.

Cya never suckers

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Probably

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Maybe

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Actually, I have more drafts

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But I'm not going to upload them

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Or am I?

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'P1: So what are we going to do today?'

'I don't know, maybe head down to the arcade, or maybe a cafe or something, Oh wait! I know, how about the movies! I hear that the new spiderman came out...Fuck off with that dumbass question, hell else are we gonna do?'

'P1: Damn dude chill out, was just asking'

'You wanna ask dumb questions? You get dumb answers'

'P1: You on your period or something?'

'Are you finished being an idiot or something?'

'P1: Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?'

'What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you!'

'P1: What do you mean?'

'WHY THE FUCK DID WE WAKE UP TO THIS?!' I scream internally as I look at the image of a giant penis made out of flowers and plants. This fucker decided to take some inspiration from the greeks and even added veins made from vines onto the huge dick. He put a slit and a fucking scrotum made of wrinkly wood as well, the fucking weirdo, Like seriously, who wants to wake up to that? Who wants to open their eyes and the first thing they see is a giant Cock?

'P1: I thought it was funny, besides it was just a one-time thing'

'This is the 4th time today, you've done this shit'

'P1: Oh, guess I lost count'

'Are you trying to tell me something?'

'P1: No'

'Do I need to pull out the gaydar?'

'P1: Shut up'

'It's okay if you're gay you know'

'P1: Oi, I'm not gay'

'I know it's hard to admit, I know that your childhood wasn't the best, to be able to come out in a safe fashion, but luckily for you, we are safe now, so it's okay, it's okay to just let it out and be who you really are'

'P1:...Are you done?'

'Are you gay?'

'P1: Look! You just can't handle that fact that I'm a great artist'

'Yeah, amazing Phallus art, you could be the next fucking Michelangelo of our generation or some shit if we ever get back to earth, congrats on being the first man to sculpt a giant dick out of plants, your a legend'

'P1: I hate you'

'I am you'

'P1: Fuck off'

'I'm not gay'

'P1: CAN YOU N-

???: "*Ahem*

Me/P1: "Kyu? (Dafuq?)" we both say at the same time and turn our attention to the phone? Apparently, there was a phone right next to us and we never noticed, huh. Anyway, it's pretty weird that in a fantasy world there is just a random iPhone 11 just here for the taking.

Phone: "Please don't take my phone"

Me/P1: "KYU KYU! (OH SHIT THE PHONES A FUCKING TRANSFORMER!?)" We both scream out in surprise at the random talking phone. I hope it's not a Decepticon or we are kinda fucked. I know P1 would like that, but I would rather not have my booty hole snatched by a giant robot.

'P1: DUDE I'M NOT GAY'

'Sure you aren't, and I'm the Wish granting ancient psychic tandem war elephant. On wait! I'm not, so stop lying and just admit you like dick'

'P1: *Sigh* I'm so over with this conversation'

Phone: "Ara~ Are you two finished?"

*BEEEP*

*BEEEP*

*BEEEP*

*Ara Ara Alert*

*Ara Ara Alert*

'P1: MAN THE BATTLE STATIONS WE GOT COMPANY HERE'

'FIRING OFF THE FIRST SALVO'

'P1: IT WAS INEFFECTIVE RELOAD, RELOAD'

'I NEED MEN IN THE MEDBAY, IT'S OVERFLOWING'

'P1: WE GOT INCOMING BRACE FOR IMPACT'

'OH SHIT, I NEED HELP CARRYING THIS CANISTER'

'P1: GET TO THE ESCAPE PODS!!!'

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Phone: "Can we start now?"

Me/P1: "Kyuu kyuu (I don't know can we?)"

*BOOM*

A big ass rock drops from the ceiling and almost crushes me. "Kyuu Kyu (Okay, point taken I'm sorry)" I apologize to the great transformer-sama as sincerely as I can.

Phone: "I feel like your still mocking me"

"Kyuu kyu kyuuu (Nah, that's just how I deal with stress)"

Phone: "By making jokes?"

"Kyuu kyu (It's very therapeutic, you should try it sometime)"

Phone: "I'll keep that in mind. Now, for the reason that I have called you. You have been sent to another world as a dragon, as you've no doubt found out, and based on your earth knowledge I can assume you know what I am?"

"Kyuu Kyu (The piece of shit god that sent me here)"

Phone: "I wouldn't phrase it like that bu-"

"Kyuuu Kyu (Well I would)" I interrupt her and all is quiet for a few seconds before another huge rock drops from above and almost turns me into a pancake.

"Kyuu kyu (Sumimasen. yurushitekudasai)" I apologize once more.

Phone: "Anyway, I am D, I am what's known as an administrator, and I am the one that sent you to this place you are correct, but do you wish to know why?"

"Kyuu Kyu Kyu. Kyu, Kyu Kyuuuu Kyu Kyu? (Not really but ill take a guess. Was it for entertainment? Are you one of those people who enjoy watching other people struggle for survival? Like a sadist or something. Is this one big game to you? Did you create the system? The skills? This world? Did you kill me and send me here? Are you streaming this? Am I some chosen? Do you get off to this?)"

D: "Slow down there, one question at a time"

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"Kyuu Kyu Kyu? (So, do you get off on this?)"

D: "I'm going to ignore that and instead say your half right"

'P1: She's changing the subject because she knows we're right'

"Kyuu Kyuuuu Kyu (So what's the other half?)"

Phone: "I found an, let's say. Opportunity to fix a certain problem that has plagued this world for a long time, as well as enjoy a circus act."

'P1: Did she just call us fucking clowns?'

'I think she did'

Phone: "Yes I did"

Me/P1: 'You're a bitch, you know that right?'

Phone: "Do I need to pull out the rocks?"

"Kyuu (Gomen'nasai)

Phone: "As long as you know"

'P1: Damn, her ego IS OVER 9000!'

"Kyuu kyu (But this isn't one of those Isekai hero summons though right?)"

Phone: "No"

"Kyuu kyu (Oh thank god)

Phone: "This is much more dangerous than some petty demon lord"

"Kyuu kyu (God fucking dammit, so what IS the problem?)"

Phone: "Not telling"

"Kyu kyu (Tch, tease)"

*Sigh*

"Kyuu kyu (So then why did you send me here?)"

Phone: "Despite your unfounded accusations against me."

"Kyuu, kyuu (You just said my existence was a joke to you)"

Phone: "I was not the one who killed you."

"Kyu Kyuu? (Wait what?)"

Phone: "I merely grabbed your untethered soul and stuck it in an egg."

"Kyuu Kyu (If you didn't kill me how did I die?)"

Phone: "Boom!"

"Kyuu (Boom? What's that mean?)" I question but it will apparently remain a mystery as the phone just poofs out of existence. Like fairy godparents, it just went *Poof* Huh, I actually had another question for D but I guess it won't be answered.

'P1: What do you think she meant by all that?'

'I don't know, but it seems there is more to this than we thought'

'P1: So what's next? Do we investigate or something? Travel the world, going on a multitude of quests and adventures getting companions and sexy dark elf slave girls, saving entire kingdoms and races from total annihilation, and eventually building our own harem. All while gaining power and trying to figure out what's going on eventually reaching godhood and confronting this D?'

'Huh? Fuck no!'

'P1: h- what?'

'Fuck all that noise, I just wanna chill out not go on some grand adventure filled with a shit ton of politics and shitty nobles, besides we are a fucking dragon in some sort of labyrinth, what slave girls are we gonna find in this dump?'

'P1: *Sigh* I guess you have a point. But I do have one question'

'Shoot'

'P1: Was it just me? Or did she kinda sound like Wakaba Hiiro-san?'

'Nah, I heard it too'

'P1: So does that mean Wakaba is god?'

'I guess? Fuck that weird to think about.'

'P1: I know right?'

'Anyway, I'm tired after all this information dump today'

'P1: But, all we did today was stand around and talk'

'That's exhausting enough, I'm done'

'P1: Whatever'

With that, I return to my cave not giving a single shit about anything Wakaba said because it doesn't really involve me. I mean it does, but that doesn't mean I have to go on some grand quest and solve a mystery I don't care about. And anyone who actually buys slave girls is weird no questions asked.

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'P1: Hey'

'Yeah?'

'P1: Why don't we try to make magic from scratch using the system?'

'But, then it wouldn't be scratch'

'P1: No, I mean the system has preset runes its uses for spells right?

'Right'

'P1: So why don't we just copy the basic runes and then go from there?'

'That's...Actually a good idea'

(A/N: No, no it's not)

'P1: Heh, told you I was the smart one'