Chapter 19

I spend the day running so fast I feel like I'm flying through the forest of Snow's retreat, hunting him playfully. I would tumble with his wolf, and he'd smack my butt with his paw sometimes, or lick his wolf tongue across my face just to teach me what not to do.

It was a great punishment because wolf saliva wasn't exactly something to desire slobbered all over your face. The best trick I learned was to launch out of a higher location to land on his back.

Overall, it was about dynamic movements and stamina today. I end up bruised and sweaty, but Snow also generously deposits me at the front castle steps after I lay across his back for the journey home. Snow quickly ran off to bathe in a river while the lovely butler named Stephen, escorted me to my room and there I had a warm bath prepared.

Now I am comfortably sore, but feeling amazing from the physical day out learning to hunt Snow.

I now wear a purple pretty velvet gown for the night, as I sit in a lounge with Snow and his old friends. Stephen, the butler, Lilac, the stable hand, Leanne the cook, Archer the gardener and Percy the harp player. We listen to some light music now from Percy, all within a drawing room where we eat a light snack.

I am perched on one end of a long couch, nestled back against one pillow, while Snow lounges back on his end of the ouch, leaning right back, sipping on wine, smiling behind his cup. He is proud and a little embarrassed by the demonstration of his Kingly lifestyle. His immortally enchanted and loyal staff, recount his rule with fevered passion.

"…I love telling this story," Lilac begins, "As I helped care for the all the pets, not just the horses –"

"No, it's my turn to speak, I will say it," Leanne takes over, and the others listen in intently, "King Snow loved sneaking into the kitchen at midnight almost every night – I caught him many a time, feeding extra meat to his loyal hounds. Domesticated wolves, Ellie. He loved those dogs."

"I do not need dogs anymore," Snow chuckles.

"Oh, Ellie, all the stories we could tell," Leanne sighs thinking about it.

"My turn," Stephen puts up his hand next, "Do any of you even understand how many times I had to explain to Snow, that he cannot give generously to every single poor merchant out there – he would give his soul to a commoner if he could, and then at the same time he would mock and give nothing to his allies, he would throw wine at them if he was distasted with them enough – just to see them react–"

Snow laughs loudly at this, as if remembering quite a few times he must have pissed off other royals.

"He must have had a lot of enemies," I murmur, holding my hand to my chest in fright at the thought of such a rebel King. In my heart, I imagined Snow was a typical ruthless dominator who ruled quite typically and with an iron fist. Apparently not?

"I tended to the health of the castle's structural integrity, not just the garden," Archer explains next, "I spoke to many of the contracted folk from the poorest parts of the city – their loyalty was unlike any other, for any King that had passed. Snow was revered. The best King. The very best. His army was most loyal. His servants were even loyal and loving. Everyone knew him. Everyone would die for him."

"Let me tell you, Ellie, about Snow's heart," Lilac flounces up higher in her seat and closes her eyes as she recounts, "I spied the way he courted his first wife… she had some issues about one crooked leg she had, and this is the sweetest thing Snow has ever done… I witnessed it all… he instructed all of the staff to compliment Faye anytime she would pass by, and to offer an elbow anytime a stair case was involved, they also gave her flowers and gifts," I can see Snow goes uncomfortably quiet at the mention of his first wife and Queen, his first tragic love, but Lilac continues whole heartedly, "Oh, the smile I saw on Faye's mouth when the castle kept surprising her that day… she thought she was living in a fairy tale."

"She had a lame leg?" I ask, never knowing anything about Faye until now.

"Horse riding accident," Snow surprisingly speaks up, "It permanently damaged her knee, or at least we thought it was just the accident. Some time later, her touch grew weak, her limbs also stopped responding. Faye could not care for our two sons, 5 years and 3 years, and all she loved was being a mother. She could not mother," Snow's tone tapers off into a pained whisper, but there is also passion – and for the first time – I also hear real and stark love.

The memory of love, perhaps, but I hear it. I feel it in my chest.

He knows love.

I gulp.

"Then the evil whore, Myrage, offered Snow the answer," Leanne now speaks into the brief silence, "Restoring Faye's entire health – as long as Snow never saw her again. Or his sons. Including giving up the throne to Myrage."

"Your generosity, my King, it caused a great mishap in history," Stephen mumbles, shaking his head.

"Though I do not appreciate your meaning," Snow snarls low at Stephen, "I do not regret giving Faye a full life to live – even if it was away from me."

"What happened to her?" I ask, gently.

"As I said. She lived a full life away from me," Snow shrugs a shoulder.

"…did she not try to return?" I ask.

"I made myself a new reputation, one so disturbing, she would not dare think of it – I became Snowred," Snow speaks plainly, as calmly as he can manage, "Instead of nurturing hearts, I started cutting them out."

"I will state this now," Leanne rises her voice in a passionate fury, "Not once was a murder, or the blood, really on your hands. The Queen took your heart – she stole it. Every action henceforth is not a reflection of our King Snow."

"Yet here he is," Archer speaks, and every eye suddenly turns to me, "Because of Ellie."

"I did nothing –" I try to explain.

"How did you meet?" Archer asks, "Snowred does not take to just anybody."

"She was abused her whole life and I saw her heart never falter to be kind, regardless of her circumstances," Snow surprises me by choosing to answer this, and with ease, "I saw her grow up, often alone in the woods, getting food to feed a horrible family. I plotted their death for a long while," Snow murmurs all of this with a smirk, "Their property too, all of it. Ellie and I were officially acquainted 12 years before now, however, when she tried to take her own life by walking into a snow blizzard at night."

"How did you save her?" Lilac asks, and I blush that they all want to know.

"Well I put the bloody girl back to bed, that's what. Cute idiot," Snow shakes his head while watching me, "I didn't really save your life, I just thought you were daft for walking so far out into the cold."

"I didn't know you were watching me from the woods since I was a child," I murmur, "Although I felt your presence. A protective eye. I was always obsessed with your Tale."

"Were you now?" Snow chuckles, but it dies off pretty quick as he adds, "I never intervened sooner, because, Ellie, I have no heart – I only found you intriguing at first, seeing as you reminded me of myself when I was younger. You never broke or fell into a distasteful way of living. Always generous. Too generous. An obvious curse breaker."

"What is it like, Snow?" Archer brings up a question, "To feel… now? Since you found Ellie?"

"I feel nothing," Snow murmurs, looking down to his feet suddenly, one foot on the floorboards, one on the couch.

It is in that moment – that I scent a distinct lie.

"I have a thought… if you may listen," I murmur, "Snow?" his one eye glances up suspiciously, as if he knows I've picked up on a vulnerability, "Did the Queen physically take your heart?"

"No."

"Then how do you know she took it?" I ask the right question, "How did she make you heartless?"

"I loved no one like I loved Faye," Snow states, and he tries to state it coldly, but his voice cracks obviously, "What is there to feel after I am told I shall never see the love of my life, ever again, for as long as she lives; while I am made immortal to live with that knowledge forever," we all say nothing, and Snow takes in a deep breath, as if to force himself to stop talking, but then the rest comes out anyway, naturally, "Then the new Queen generously reminded me every single day that not only did Faye end up despising every single thing about me, but she also found a new man, within a few months of being sent away from me."

"And do you know it was truth?" I ask.

"No, but it may as well have been the truth at that point," Snow murmurs, trying to cover up a growl but it's just an attempt not needed. We could all hear him now.

"So you actually just became a coward," I blurt, piecing it together in my head as I speak, "Your greatest fear is not losing me, it's losing you. You were maliciously tricked by the new Queen. You lost your family and your identity. And you say you have no heart. Because. You… can't possibly make yourself believe you have one… it hurts too much, doesn't it – losing everything?"

"Shut up, Ellie," Snow's sudden low snarl is directly a warning to me, and as I glance toward him, his one eye cannot leave my jugular, "Shut. Up."

Snow abruptly stands from our couch and he stalks from the drawing room.

All the staff look at their feet, while I am the only one with my head uplifted.

"Is it true?" I ask, only when Snow has left the room.

"…Ellie…" Stephen whispers, "You must understand. With a rage of passion for love, comes a rage of passion for hate. Snow was an angel and he learnt to be the devil. There are two sides to every coin. With a heart that big – when someone like Snow breaks… the flipside is hell… and that goes for everyone."

"Only without healing from great pain," I whisper, tears coming to my eyes, tears of passion for understanding the injustice that has happened here, "And I am not afraid of Snow. Are you telling me I should be?" I ask Stephen.

"Yes," he nods.

"Why?" I ask, "Why should I be afraid –?"

"We understand that Snowred is a heartless monster, if you do not understand that, you'll die if he switches into the Hunter. You must respect his new instincts if you wish to survive that side of him," Stephen nods at me, his eyes unblinking, "Do you understand, Ellie?"

"No," I answer defiantly, standing up, "No, I don't."

"Please, do not provoke that animal residing within him, Ellie, we need you, alive," Leanne begs me next as she reaches out to grab my hand, "Do not go near Snow. Do not provoke him further."

I shake my head, and I take in all of them, with the exact same expression; scared and terrified. Exactly what the Queen wants.

"Leanne," I murmur, "Provoking Snow is exactly what I intend to do. I see him. Even if no one else can."

I pull from her hand and I take myself from the room.

Snow had been vulnerable with me. Brave for me.

Now I needed to be brave for me too, because my task was no small feat; I had a King to save from an eternity of torture that he was inflicting upon himself.