It's All Me

(Hyzi's POV)

On my birthday, my mother held me in her arms and my father sat with her smiling down at my face.

"We agreed on Hyzi right?" She stated with a laugh in her voice,

"Yeah... after all he's out daylight." On Afaria Daylight also means "Hope for the future". My mom's name was Reita and my father was Jodo. They were kind. We were middle class so I never worried about food or money.

One day I felt a shift within me. I could sense the intentions of others around me whenever they were intense. Blessings or Curses. If someone cursed someone else with their words a faint blank smoke would circle the victim. If they blessed them instead I would see pink, the same shade as my hair color. This was the first sign of my awakening. I was 4 and I wasn't sure what I was seeing until one day my mother came home engulfed in the Black Smoke. It started with a cough, she claimed she just choked on saliva while laughing and assured us she was fine but the cough gradually got worse.

I began frequently going out to buy books on medicine and herbs for her. While I was out one day I heard my mother's supposed best friend, Viwa chatting with the neighbor saying,

"Yeah Reita is ill, we can't figure out what's wrong." Jingi, my neighbor gasped and replied,

"It's unheard of for anyone to get sick around here... I hope it's not contagious." I was disgusted that in this situation the only person she was worried about was herself,

"Oh... but Jodo would be heartbroken if anything happened to her... I'll need to stay close to make sure he's okay." Jingi patted her shoulder.

"You're so kind, going to that house when she's in that condition. I could never! I'll send a card or something." They both laughed and I saw a chain coming from Viwa's body. I could also feel that she didn't want my mother to recover. I was annoyed with their conversation so I followed the chain and saw that it linked to the smoke surrounding my mom. When I found her she had collapsed on the floor, both coughing up and crying blood. At the time I had no idea what I was doing but I wanted to help her so I rushed over and lifted her as best I could with my small body. When I did a light surrounded us both,

"You're going to live a long life, you're too good to die now. You have to get better." I stated tearfully, squeezing my eyes shut. Around 10 seconds had passed when Mom hugged me and said,

"My daylight... my hope. I wouldn't let a little cough take me away from you. I need to see you grow up." I opened my eyes then. A pink mist was now covering her and she was smiling, looking the healthiest that I'd seen in weeks. I had successfully reversed the curse on my mother by wishing the exact opposite of the one who cast it. The chain linking Viwa to her was dispelled as well, that was one thing I no longer needed to worry about. Also on that day, the mark appeared on my arm, it turned the nails and skin of my left arm completely black, and there was an intricate design that faded into tiny flowers spinning through the air, then disappearing at my shoulder. The flowers were so tiny I doubt anyone else would be able to see them. I knew what this meant, I had to leave home.

It turned into an argument when I told my parents I had to go. Of course, they weren't okay with it but there was a demand for all the Chosen to be raised in the Palace until adulthood, to be sure they remained loyal. Them keeping me despite knowing the law would be perceived as treason.

"As soon as I'm an adult I'll visit you... I have a purpose, so please understand." After I said this my mom broke down crying and my dad embraced her, then she screamed,

"You're a child!" I couldn't understand anything else she said after that through her tears but I had already called for the palace guards to take me away, and they arrived during her distorted pleas. 

I really intended to go back home... I intended to make my parents proud... fight for the planet. Sometimes it's not good to make plans for the future, because maybe hoping for something too strongly is what prevents it from happening. That's the lesson I learned.

When I arrived the King met with me. He briefly tested my capabilities then sent me away and started flirting with a woman who was waiting for him, by his throne. The room they brought me to was cold. Maybe it's because of the high ceilings or stone walls... or just because I was alone. 

"Hey! I wanted to be there to welcome you but I got so caught up this morning." Said a woman entering my room, She had long dark brown hair that only stopped 5 inches from the floor, wearing a loose-fitting long white dress, and no shoes but wore a red ribbon tied on her left ankle and a matching ribbon on her neck, her toenails and nails were painted to match. One big almond-shaped gold-colored eye, I say one because half her face was wrapped up in bandages. When she spoke I caught myself staring at her lips so I looked away bashfully and said,

"Oh... it's okay... nice to meet you." My heart is racing so much I'm trembling... is it because she's a stranger? I've never felt like this before. 

"My name is Tana, I'm in charge of instructing you." She stated while pulling out some papers from the leather satchel she had at her side.

"I see... well... thank you for your service." She laughed at my reply and then sat next to me on my bed.

"No need to be so formal! I taught the first generation too. This is just my job." I hung my head,

"You seem nice." My comment seemed to unnerve her.

"Appearances can be deceiving... anyway let's move on to your first lesson. I need to assess where to start with you. Once you master the basics, you'll get a new teacher who can help you with advanced skills." I decided at that moment... to hide everything I knew. She was the only warm thing I found and thinking that she'd abandon me once I didn't need her anymore... was terrifying. On the right side of her face... I could see a strong curse emanating from it and the person who held the chains to it was King Vetro.

I stayed close to her to try to understand the source, he only spoke sweetly to her in public but I could see her curse thickening when they were close, though, unlike with my mother, her life didn't seem in jeopardy. So I decided to leave it alone... plus I don't know what the curse is so it'll be hard to reverse it.

Years passed, and our relationship grew more casual, I could speak to her about anything... well almost anything. It wasn't till I was in my late adolescence that I realized the feelings I had for Tana were attraction. I can't think of her the same way as my mother... I recognize my mom as the person who took care of me but Tana became someone I wanted to protect and look after. She was someone who always paid attention to all of me and brought me kindness in a place where there was none. She even cried when I told her about my parents, tears of joy at how beautiful their relationship is, and said,

"I would love to meet them one day."

There were days I could tell she was distraught... but I was always too afraid to ask why so instead I would tease her and make her laugh, ask her for advice; anything to get her mind off what was troubling her. I know it has something to do with her life here, so I want to take her away and make sure she no longer makes sad memories.

"Tana...dance with me." I offered one day, interrupting her lecture.

"Dance?... Why would I dance with you?" She retorted with a snort. I gripped at my heart pretending to be hurt.

"Ouch! You wound me!" She blushed and pouted then looked away from me saying,

"I did not mean it like that... I just... there's no music and... I'm not sure if... I'd be allowed." She uses that phrase a lot "I'm not allowed" When I asked to take her for a walk outside the palace, or to share drinks... or when I asked her to spend longer hours with me.

"It's just dancing, Tana. Are you not allowed to have fun?" She bit her lip and whispered,

"Things have been peaceful lately... I just don't want to ruin it." Seeing her looking upset made me want to hug her, but I held back the way I always do.

"If you need music to dance with me, I'll get us music," I stated confidently. She gasped and jumped up from her seat,

"You lie!" She shouted. I couldn't help but smile, seeing a glimpse of her getting excited.

"I do not lie," I replied in a mocking voice, making her pout again. Then she glanced outside the door

"If... you can get the music I will dance with you, Hyzi... Just once." She replied in a hushed voice then she rushed from my room. That night I created a music box and an Automatic Pipe Organ, I designed them to play the song my parents used to dance to when I was small. I stayed up all night, gathering the metals I needed and perfecting it so that by the next time I saw Tana it would be ready.

Her eyes widened as soon as she entered my room and my creations. "What is that?" She stated in bafflement. I used my powers to start the organ and activate my music box, while simultaneously shutting the door to give us some privacy.

"It's music," I announced. I then fought through my nerves to grab her hand and place my other hand on her waist. "You promised to dance with me." I saw her rare smile, and her eyes lit up.

"I suppose I did." We danced around the room, and to my surprise she brushed up against me, getting lost in the song, sometimes laying her head on my shoulder and ignoring how close we were. I must be the only one feeling nervous. "This would be perfect if we had some drums or a bass perhaps!" She said playfully. I pulled her in close and spun us around,

"It is already perfect," I remarked gleefully. That night I made sure to loop the song as long as I could. Tana let me lead at times, and sometimes doing her own thing and entrancing me to come close to her. By the end we were both laughing and sweaty and in the heat of the moment, I kissed her. She pulled away immediately saying,

"Oh no..."

"I'm sorry... did I read the mood wrong?" She started laughing nervously and walked away to pack up her papers. "Tana talk to me."

"I thought we were friends." She muttered.

"... We are friends." I corrected. She attempted to go without saying anything else so I blocked the door. "I won't do anything else, I just need you to communicate with me..."

"I... never thought you would do that... you're... so much younger and..."

"I'm an adult now... and... Why wouldn't I? You're not making sense." She started crying then, I'm not sure how I triggered it,

"I can't..." Her voice was shaky and she was frowning deeply. Her chin scrunched up as she tried to hold back more tears... I almost broke my word and kissed her again by watching her so distressed. 

"Why not... you hate it here... I'm leaving soon... so just come with me." She turned back to me after this proposition.

"V... would never allow that." She commented, once again hiding her true feelings. 

"Are you going to tell him or something?"

"What?! No never! I couldn't!" She shouted so loud I wouldn't be surprised if my brothers heard her.

"... He won't even officially marry you, and you're free to choose who you want to be with, don't say bye, just leave...." I then held her hand and pulled it up to my lips. "I can also choose who I want and I want to be with you..." She became visibly flustered as I continued. "have you never thought about being with me... not even when you fell asleep in my lap, or when we went shopping together, all the conversations we've had, or just now, while we were dancing."

"Hyzi... you're making this hard for me... How I feel doesn't matter. You don't know what he's capable of." She didn't pull away from me so my heart did a backflip with this small admission,

"If it's hard then that means you care..." Her eye stared up at me, there was a longing in it, maybe hoping I would hold her and I also wanted to embrace her,

"I need to go." She said, quietly, finally pulling her hand away from me. I stepped out of the way so she could exit my room and then I watched her leave. I felt nothing but regret and rage at that moment... I'm not sure why she stays with him or why they are even together in the first place but I know she's not happy and I know he doesn't respect her and that is enough for me to leave their "relationship" unacknowledged. Days passed and Tana didn't come to the Chosen wing or visit me. After a while I lost my appetite so I stopped eating... I'm sure she doesn't hate me... so why won't she see me? Weeks passed when I finally ran out of stamina and fell asleep. That night I felt a sharp pain, then nothing. When I woke up again I was in a small body, in the middle of the Red Spot. The Chosen of Earth had accidentally decimated a neighborhood and my parents in this life lived there. I survived because my powers activated in that moment allowing my body to become smoke. My memories from a past life arrived as well mixing with my current ones... I walked to the palace myself a year later when I felt ready. I was a little afraid to find out why I was a child again. But I read the history books anyway to get my questions answered. In this life I am Insinz, 7,882 years have passed because I and all my brothers were killed one by one. We were all considered a bad influence when Tana got caught packing to leave the palace by V who unexpectedly visited her in the middle of the night. He tortured her and forbade her, from that moment, to not brush her hair or dress well unless she was spending time with him. I died in my sleep, he killed all of us... that must mean Tana refused to tell him who she was leaving with.