Where Did Our Dreams Go?

Noelle wanted to run and hide, but she was standing at the center of the room, and the minute the door opened, Joe… who asked about the light… came across my face. All decorated, my body covered with a thick sheet from the mattress at the platform, where cameras are pointed like eagles waiting to catch their prey.

His eyes first landed on Noelle. Joe was surprised, but his shock didn't last long because he was urging to be hurried and fix the light. Noelle was utterly bewildered. Her focus today was the sex in the platform, and not because of the guy who used to be part of her life. Certainly not about Joe, too, who built his dreams with her.

The director called Noelle, and they both talked about the scene she had to portray. He wanted the expression she had all this time and Noelle agreed that it is best to keep the viewers elated on the next scenes.

As Joe moved to fix the lightbulb on a three-step ladder, his periphery vision can see Noelle and he can hear what they're talking about. It wasn't right to eavesdrop, but this field of work… the way she talked intimacy in their script… doesn't sit right with him.

Noelle was clearing up any misunderstanding about the bed work and the director laughed at her suggestion. It wasn't an insult. It was a compliment for the years of work she put in her craft. A filthy craft, for Joe. It isn't something she should be proud of, isn't it?

Joe replaced the bulb with another one, making sure that it wouldn't burst in an open electricity line.

"It is best for penetration when he's already hovering over me. That is the best way to capture the emotion in my face, and the best angle for that is right here," Noelle explained while pointing at the edge. She sounded like a veteran. Nothing more than a professional who knows how to make a way around here.

When he tested the light, it turned on perfectly. The director made a punch in the air.

"I think we should try it in one take only, director. In that way, the emotion is captured well. If we do double take, it should be in another sex position: a doggo or a reverse cowgirl."

Noelle had a grudge to herself for letting Joe hear her suggestions. It was explicit, one thing she hides the most to her acquaintances, or even friends who got reunited. Noelle tried so hard to separate her personal life from work. Because, no matter what she does, her life outside of A&E kept on meddling and showing up in her work.

As a porn star, it was a disgrace. She never wanted a shame in her body yet she brought it in her own. When the lights are fixed, Joe backed up from the ladder. Someone gave him a bottle of water, and he smiled, generous enough to accept it.

But right when he landed his eyes to Noelle, she continued with her work.

Well, Joe hasn't had a right to crash a professional line of work.

Could they even call it as a professional field? Even though they have been using their bodies as sexual acts, as toys to play with, to illicit sexual interaction to gain money? Joe was disgusted about the idea. His face was nowhere close to what he expected. He doesn't want to convey it's getting dirty in his mind, but he still had to give a chance to Noelle.

She must have done this for money, right? Joe will believe it for now until the two of them can talk.

Right after he finished the bottle, he walked out of the studio.

After two hours, Noelle was packing up some clothes from her dressing room. She has a date with Cole today, around 9 pm, and it's 5 hours away. She ordered her staff to buy her some rice meal outside of the building, and they immediately obliged.

Alone inside the room, Noelle was fixing her hair in a simple ponytail. She wanted to eat first before glamming up for their dinner date. Right now, she just desired to relax before going on in the restaurant in her dress and heels. Sadly, once again.

Noelle wanted to have a movie night, but Cole insisted to be elegant and classy all the time.

At least, she had to enjoy her time with him, and that's it.

Noelle was waiting for her staff to come. There's a knock by the door.

She was so excited to have her food when she realized that it wasn't her staff, or anyone else. Noelle held the doorknob tightly and looked at the man. The man who made her college as blissful as ever.

"Joe," Noelle's voice was squeaky. She stared at him like he's a lie, and that he isn't here.

He tilted his head to one side. Joe gawked at her. Noelle didn't even want to step back and offer him to go inside. It felt so wrong to stand here while Joe was wearing his electrician or technician or repairman uniform.

He has been living his life as the man who finished college and got his dream job.

Whereas her… her degree went to the trash when it became overly useless.

It has become worthless in the real world, and no one even anticipated or want her in that job. She became a sexy, porn star, a woman who sold her body for money. Noelle regretted her decision, but it's too late to back out now. She had to be here in certain purpose, like her mother who was still terminally ill, but was taken care at an expensive nursing care home.

Joe's look would neve change who Noelle was.

She just had to talk it out and answer him what happened.

"Noelle." His call of her name was on a desperate tone, and she doesn't like it.

It feels like she's drowning, but recovered herself on her own without any help, and now that she swam back to the shore, Joe would eventually be concerned and pretended to try hard in order to keep her afloat when there is nothing…

Nothing can save her from that drowning except herself. Not even Blake or Cole.

She was the one who brought this up in her life, and even though she blamed her father for leaving them that early, and her mother becoming sick, the fate would never change unless Noelle did something.

"Why are you here?" Noelle was the first one to ask.

Joe shrugged. "I should be the one asking you that, Noelle. What… are you doing here in A&E?"