Chapter 32

Intention.

So long as she prepared Sparks correctly it would follow orders and attack the designated targeted. It made perfect sense. Magicka was unique from person to person and intrinsically connected with them, an amazing tool that could be used to do the impossible with the proper training and talents. She might be lacking in the latter, but hard work could make up the difference.

Remiel thrust her hand forward. A tingle spread across her palm as energy reached it, falling apart in seconds. She hunched over, gripping her knees as she tried to catch her breath.

All this time and nothing! Miniscule sparks appeared once or twice, but what did that matter if she couldn't consistently replicate the result? She was making no progress.

This was a waste of time, time that could be better spent on her research and projects. Magic was not her specialty, and it never would be. She'd given up learning anything beyond the basics.

An irritating whistle forced Remiel to wince.

Auri and Athias sat around their campfire, the latter still struggling to pick up the crude instrument Auri had created after a few days of practice.

"You're blowing too hard."

"I don't know, maybe this thing is just poorly made."

"Give it here." Auri snatched the makeshift instrument from Athias. The tune she created was far more soothing, a subtle rhythm created within seconds. "It looks like the problem lies with the player not the whistle."

While Auri continued her demonstration, Athias looked Remiel's way. He raised the stick of food waiting on her.

As her stomach released a low grumble, Remiel noticed the weight that'd fallen over upon her. She was nearly out of magicka. She hated the heavy sluggish that plagued at times like this. It was just as bad as hiking up and down mountains for an entire day and night, an experience she would be happy to never repeat.

As frustrating as this lack of progress was, it was too early to give up. This odd method they were using was a first. Uncharted territory. What she needed was more information.

Remiel wiped away the cold sweat dripping down her face with a frayed sleeve. At least the low temperatures Skyrim was prone to kept heat at bay no matter how much one strained themselves. She joined them around the fire, plopping down beside Athias and accepting the offered food. Without the proper tools, nothing they could put together compared to the food back home, but beggars couldn't be choosers. It wasn't any worse than the plain cuisine Nords were oddly proud of.

"So, Athias-" Remiel started after swallowing a bite of the salty mix of mushrooms and meat. "-how did you learn to control your magicka so well?"

"Reading and practice. I already told you, I'm just good with magicka." Athias said.

"You're sure you didn't do anything special?" He shook his head and Remiel couldn't help but sigh. When it came to magic there was no denying they were on opposite sides of the spectrum; her few spells were the product of years of struggle whereas his many were learned within the span of a few months.

Would such a stark disparity allow this training to result in anything positive? Their differing experiences created very different views on magic. She understood the extent of her abilities and knew most spells were beyond her while Athias appeared to crack open a tome and start practicing whatever spell caught his interest, no hesitation or second thoughts to halt him.

As if mastering the chosen spell was a forgone conclusion.

Auri stopped blowing into the bone instrument. "Don't worry so much. As long as you keep trying, you'll make progress."

Easier said than done but maybe Auri was right. Stressing wasn't doing her any good.

"You're doing fine, all you need is a bit of time." Athias added without looking her way. "Habits aren't easy to break."

x-X-x

Remiel aimed her hand at the stone ground, all her magicka surging forth to no avail.

Another day of travel was already over. This time they'd found themselves a small cave to make a camp in, Scrap hard at working guarding the entrance alongside Athias. She'd taken to using a few of her potions to stave off the effects of magicka exhaustion to keep at it far longer than she should've been able to. These failed attempts didn't consume as much energy as they should have but a session this long rendered that a moot point.

Convert her magicka, focus on a target, and let the energy shoot forward. She knew the steps. Yet her magicka refused to follow them, attempting to revert to the reliable method and disrupting the spell.

It was as if she'd hit a wall.

Would time really be the thing to solve this? Maybe Athias was wrong. There had to be something they weren't considering. A different approach that'd get better results.

Something cold brushed against her neck.

Remiel jumped and twirled around. She breathed a sigh of relief when she found nothing other than Auri awaiting her. "Oh, Auri, shouldn't you be getting some sleep?"

Auri crossed her arms. "My watch started an hour ago. You should be the one getting some sleep."

"What?" Remiel gapped. Had she gotten so caught up in practicing the spell that so much time passed? A blink that left her eyes stinging confirmed it, exhaustion crashing into with all the power of a centurion. If she's already gone this far into the night she might as well keep going. "Don't worry about me. I can never get any sleep when I'm working on something."

Auri nodded and backed off, a spot taken up against the stone walls near the cave's entrance. After downing what remained of her potion of magicka, Remiel picked her practice back. Somehow things felt even worse, her slowly replenishing magicka resistant to any manipulation.

"Is there some reason you're trying so hard?" Auri asked. "This is a lot of dedication for someone who's given up on becoming skilled with magic."

Remiel lowered her hand. A break might help things; she had solved plenty of problems in her research by taking a step back and occupying her mind with something else. She joined Auri at the mouth of the cave, leaning on the wall beside her.

"I guess…I feel like I have to get this right." Remiel admitted. This was about more than documenting the effectiveness of the unique training method. "You don't know much about High Rock, do you?"

"Only what you've shared."

"Back home, magic is very common. It's normal for kids run around streets shooting harmless versions of spells we'll be taught once we're old enough to show some degree of responsibility. You can probably guess that a child who couldn't use a single spell made for an easy target for bullies." Remiel closed her eyes, recalling those days. She was grateful for them truth be told; all that bullying led to her interest in the Dwemer. "I didn't mind it too much. I didn't get along with them in the first place and being alone meant I had more time doing what I wanted without worrying about others."

Auri said nothing, quietly listening to the story.

"A number of teachers from the school I attended tried to personally teach me magic. When that failed my parents tried personal tutors. It didn't take them long to give up as well. By then I earned myself a reputation; Remi the Inept was just one of the lovely nicknames I was given by the other kids. Traveling mages knew better than to waste their time trying to teach me anything."

"Those kids sound like they needed a good punch in the face."

Remiel rubbed the back of her neck. "I may or may not have given a few of them just that."

"Good." Auri said with a laugh and smile Remiel couldn't help but match. "So, the spells you know came from books?"

"And years of trial and error." Remiel leaned back, pressing her head against cold stone. "I did give up on properly learning magic, but this is a chance to make some real progress. How can I sleep knowing that?"

Auri hummed. "I'm not sure if I understand how you feel, but I do know one thing. You can't always force things to go your way, not without consequences, so take your time. This adventure of ours isn't ending anything soon."

Maybe Auri was right. Remiel didn't know, but she was damn well going to try her best, consequences be damned. They never stopped her before and wouldn't stop her now.

She would figure this out or die trying.

x-X-x

"I have an idea!" Remiel exclaimed, running up beside Athias who had just finished setting up his tent for the night. Their camp was finally on some flat land, the cold mountains of The Reach behind them and the temperate plains of Whiterun less than a day's walk ahead of them.

"About?" Athias asked as he dropped his equipment beside his tent, only his elven sword kept close.

"The spell. I think I know a way to force me to cast it correctly." Athias tried to circle past her to get started on the campfire, but she stepped in front of him. He indulged her, stopping and looking down with a raised brow. "Your magicka. You used it to interact with mine before. Shouldn't we be able to use it to force my magicka to move a certain way?"

Curiosity brightened up his dark eyes. He might be rather nonchalant most of the time, but when it came to anything unknown, his investment challenged her own. "I was under the impression my magicka burned you. You want me to actively direct it at you?"

"A little discomfort is nothing in the face of new discoveries." Remiel readied a hand, mentally preparing herself for what was to come. "Come on, we can try right now."

Athias went along with her theory, hand dropped on her shoulder like usual.

A burn appeared, invading her arm. Her magicka flinched away, the foreign energy recognized as dangerous. Its fiery presence was restrained, not nearly as hot as it had been back in Arkngthamz, but still strong enough to inflict a sort of phantom pain. Her first thought was to compare his magicka to fire, but that felt like a disservice.

The energy was too calm. Static.

Was that why Athias could control his magicka so well? There were no superfluous movements to eliminate before casting a spell. He didn't give her time to contemplate that, his magicka moving towards the hand she prepped for Sparks, her magicka parting to form a path. Perhaps of the same mind as her, he set up his magicka in the general area of the path she typically used for the spell.

If she couldn't force things to go her way, why not let Athias do it?

Remiel aimed towards the darkening sky and prepared her magicka.

She pulled back a hand.

Then, thrust it upward, wild energy pouring down her arm. She didn't bother trying to stop it from defaulting to the usual method she'd used for so many years, focused solely on a passing cloud. And she didn't have to. The energy sparked away from Athias's burning magicka, taking a new route with no clear pattern.

Dark electricity erupted from her hand, her hand visibly shaking due to the power flying from it. Stable and potent. This version of Sparks was unlike any to come from her.

"You did it, Remi!" Auri cheered from somewhere in the camp. Remiel couldn't pull her eyes away from the spectacle. Those vigorous sparks of electricity were coming from her. That was her magic powering it.

The spell fizzled out and Remiel lurched forward, a dizzying weight slammed down upon her. Athias saved her from a mouthful of dirt, lowering her to the ground by the arm. "You really don't have a lot of magicka." He said.

"And you're a rude bastard." Remiel bit back just lying down across the dirt. Sleep sounded good right about now.

Athias chuckled as he stood back up. "Good job."

Remiel grinned, muscles loosening as she finally stopped fighting against the weighty exhaustion anchored to her.

She wasn't sure if she could pull it off again without Athias's interface, but this was a major step towards something she'd given up so long ago.

x-X-x

Can't believe it's been over a week. Time really flies when half your time is autopilot at work and the other half is learning new shit. Blender is absolutely putting me through the ringer right now but I'm enjoying it. One minute I feel like I learnt some crazy stuff and can do anything then I'm confused as shit. A cruel game of emotions.