Chapter 80: Liar's Dilemma

Lumière awoke several days later enveloped in warmth, in comfort and in a tangle of silken bedsheets that were surely not his own. His eyes shuttered open, taking in the beams of morning sunlight that burst through the curtains of the room. He raised his head up groggily, supporting his weight by leaning on his arm as he turned. He quickly realised he was wearing no clothes, covered up only by the tangle of sheets atop his form. He saw a face staring back at him, smiling genially. She had bright green eyes and dark hair that spilled against her bare form like falling water.

"Good morning, Ms. Lavant." Lumière's expression flushed significantly, trying to keep his calm.

"What happened to calling me 'Clementine'?" She laughed. "Have we already gone back to being 'colleagues' again?" She was the attendant of the show hall that Lumière had gotten to know over several years of working as a show magician.

'What happened in the few days I was swapped with 'Lain'? What could he have possibly gotten me into in that little time?' Lumière's brow twitched. 'He was supposed to pretend to be me. Where did he get the idea that I would do something so unprofessional?'

"Then, good morning, Clementine." Lumière corrected himself, still confused about the whole situation. 

She fell back against her pillow, a hand against her chest as she let out a sigh. "Your tricks are endless, dove boy. I didn't know they would extend to this length, however."

'Lain, you bastard… what could you have possibly done? And why is she calling me 'dove boy' suddenly? Don't tell me you tried performing one of my tricks to the only person in the world who sees through all of them…?'

"I have many more up my sleeve." Lumière chided in response, keeping up the pretense. 

"At least your flirtiness has dissipated. Really, did you think I was the sort of woman that would fall for your silver-tongue? I'm not one of your endless fans, after all."

"We're here now, aren't we?" 

Clementine laughed. "Perhaps. Or maybe it was the drinks we both consumed beforehand."

Lumière's expression froze, his heart sinking. 'That's even worse. Lain, you fucking demon… this definitely wasn't 'acting' as me.'

"Sorry, I tend to become a strange person when I drink. I hope it wasn't too off-putting."

"If it were off-putting, do you think you would be here right now?" Clementine's gaze grew amused, teasing. "There's no need to explain yourself, magician. You were a wonderful experience."

'Thank the Goddess I don't remember any of this. I would be traumatised at this point…'

They later adjourned to the kitchen within her home, Lumière dressed in his clothes from the night before, which had been stained by bright-red alcohol, and torn at some of the seams by who-knows-what. He let out a sigh, leaning over the counter while facing Clementine.

'I can't manage a relationship on top of all the stuff I'm trying to do… it's just another lie on the pile. How can I let her down easily?' Lumière painfully racked his brain for ideas.

"Listen, Lumière…" Clementine suddenly spoke up. It grasped Lumière's attention. "I know we've had a fun time, but I really can't manage a relationship right now."

Lumière glanced up slightly towards the sky, pensive. 'Dear Goddess, Lady of Thorns, I forgive you for all you've done to me and those around me up to this point. I sincerely forgive you. This is the greatest gift you could have bestowed upon me. It is surely your benevolence. Thank you. I will stop being a half-believer from this point forward.'

"So, are you saying we should remain friends?" Lumière joked. "It quite saddens me to hear that. And here I was starting to fall madly in love with you."

Clementine grinned. "Take your sweet words to some other pretty lady, dove boy. I'll be here when you want real conversation that eclipses the masks they all wear."

"No one could ever be as meaningful as you are to me." Lumière winked in return.

Clementine blushed slightly, laughing off his joking manner. "The next time we see each other, won't it be at your last performance? Perhaps it might be our last encounter…"

"I told you I would pay you visits at times."

"We both know you have a silver-tongue that loves to make promises."

"Perhaps." Lumière's gaze grew pensive, contemplative of the past. "Do you ever regret being more than colleagues?"

"Not at all. You are the greatest friend I've ever had, Lumière Croft. I joke around with you most of the time, but there has never been a moment with you I haven't enjoyed. Even if there was always a desk and mountains of paperwork in between us, I never felt distant from you. I think that was in part just how warm of a person you are, and I love that about you. Thank you for the best of times, Lumière." Clementine smiled.

"Then, I will consider you the same." Lumière leaned forward, placing his lips atop her head with a gentle kiss. 

Clementine laughed. "Did you not already consider me in such a way? How cruel…"

"The world is cruel. It's an inevitability, my dearest colleague." Lumière winked.

Without a goodbye, he adjourned from her home in the middle borough. He was sure it wouldn't be their last meeting. He made his way down the flowering staircase, and after a time, arrived back at the monastery on Cobbler's Street. Luckily, the White Roses seemed absent. He made his way back to his room, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Lumière then knelt down on the ground, closing his eyes and steadying his breath. He felt his heart calm instantly, his entire body becoming serene and still. Then, he plunged into the darkness that churned within his mind. He came to in an abyss, one vaster than the one that the Sinner's labyrinth sat in, with a lack of light. Yet, he could still see clearly. 

It was the mindspace where Lumière often retreated. It was a place he had come often as a child. It was his safe space, a place of dreaming. Now, however, it was the place he stored the remnant wills of his Personae, and the memories of Elise. 

In the darkness ahead of him, three figures sat staring at him, two atop an illusory stone wall, one below them, leaning against it. He immediately recognised the personae. 'Despair' and 'Ophelia' sat above him, atop the wall. Directly in front of him, leaning against the wall, Lain was grinning like a madman.

Lumière pointed at the black-haired figure, his expression growing stern. "I'm going to kill you somehow, you bastard."

"Why are you angry at me? Nothing wrong happened." Lain chided.

"What do you mean nothing wrong happened?" Lumière grumbled.

"We liked that woman, didn't we?"

"No, not in that way."

"What other way is there?" Lain grinned, leaning back against the illusory stone wall.

Lumière sighed, a palm against his face. "Fucking moron… it really was a mistake to let you do what you want. I just hope the White Roses didn't see the stupid shit you got up to."

'Although, even if they did see anything suspicious, I'll lie my way out of the situation. That's the method I've always relied on.'

"So, what really happened? I thought I had mixed your 'judgment' with my 'personality'. It was supposed to be like a half-state between the two of us. Yet, I can't remember any of it."

Lain sighed. "If 'Judgment' is the operative-base of a person, their lucid conciousness, then why would you remember it? Only I remember it because I was the active participant, and you were the person I pretended to be. I was the active judgment, and you were the persona."

This puzzled Lumière. 'So the 'judgment', equivalent to one's lucid consciousness, of the personae is the active part of a persona, and the personality is the mask it wears? Then, I was always doomed to let Lain take control. How strange. Using this logic, hasn't my persona as a demon been 'Ophelia' as the personality, and 'Lumière' the judgment this whole time? In reality, I've been using a 'half-state' this whole time without knowing. How interesting.'

That led him to another thought. 'In truth, these two parts are completely different. I've known this all along, that they can only function once completely put together. An identity I make up can only become one of my 'personae' when I have both completed its story, its 'personality' and fleshed it out to be an entirely new person. Then, I have to offer it my 'judgment' or allow its own judgment to overtake me. If I chose to use that persona without using its 'base' judgment, that persona's consciousness will live in my head, constantly voicing its own judgment. That is why Ophelia, Lain, and 'Despair' will speak to me at times. It's as if I've created them, but robbed them of their free will, only using their faces and names to my own will. How cruel. How hilarious.'

Suddenly, Lumière felt his curiosity overtake him. He raised both of his hands, drawing Lain's attention, and then asked, "so, which hand do you use to cast? I thought someone as averse to morality as you would use your left hand, but maybe I'm wrong."

"Morals? Hands? What are you talking about? I would use whatever hand is closest to my enemies. Still, I don't need your magic to kill people. We have a gun." Pointing towards the inside of his jacket, Lain spoke as if it were matter-of-fact, unworried and unbothered by the consequences.

Lumière's eyes widened. 'Of course, a persona I based on a story not set in this world would have no knowledge of the intricacies of magic I didn't teach it. So someone with a grey moral compass like I, concerned only with my goals, would have no need to pay attention to the 'morality' of their actions when they don't mind the truth behind them. In the same way, someone who has no morals at all doesn't need to concern himself with such a thing, like Lain. I wonder if Cartwell Heffen uses his right hand to cast spells? Would Juno, that greedy merchant, use his-" Lumière's thoughts were interrupted, chuckling. "Nevermind. I shot a bullet through his left hand."

"It's been bugging me for a while, but what's with the wall behind you?" Lumière questioned, curious.

Lain glanced upwards, crossing his arms, then back at Lumière, shrugging. "No clue."

Lumière spoke to the other two Personas sitting atop the wall. "What about you two?"

Ophelia stared blankly at him. This was something Lumière had anticipated. Only certain things would be spoken from this personality, usually pertaining to an internal thought relating to the Mythos Garden that Lumière had already conceived. Ophelia's words were only an amplification of 'Lumière's' thoughts. After all, Ophelia was not a full personality. He was merely a mask, a half-state for Lumière to use. 

Despair was different, however. That was because Despair was a persona that Lumière didn't originally conceive. He was the byproduct of the bestowment of Lord Sinner, and so he was definitely a full personality. Despite that, for some reason, he didn't like speaking to Lumière often. Lumière had come to believe that it was entitlement. Despair was far more powerful a being than Lumière was, and so he believed that Despair would pay him no attention unless he was offered the opportunity of full control over Lumière's body, usually during the moments of duress when Lumière would be forced to use him. 

Of course, that was all speculation. Lumière still hadn't come to know of the peculiarities surrounding his arrangement with the Evil Deity, his labyrinth of horrors, and his subordinates that towered high above the magical world. He hadn't had time to think about it in recent times, nor had Poe's Gnosis began to glow with new information in recent times. He had assumed he would only learn more when he advanced his abilities.

'If I'm only allowed into the labyrinth like most people- when I'm to access a new level of power, then why am I placed in Lord Sinner's labyrinth specifically? Is it only to meet my predecessors, as Thomas said? Or will I have an opportunity to advance my 'Sin-specific abilities there? And do all Deities have labyrinths of their own for their 'Beacons'? There are so many unanswered questions in this mysterious world…'

"Forget it. I'll just break the wall and see what happens."

Lumière stood up from where he had been sitting in the darkness. He walked over to the wall where the personae sat, staring at it for a time. It looked like nothing unique. It was an ordinary wall made of stone, fragmented from a greater structure. There were cracks in the wall, but nothing that threatened its security. He reached out with his hand, touching against the wall.

"Igni-" Before Lumière could finish speaking the phrase for his ability, the cracks in the wall began to shift. Lumière took a step backwards, not fearful, but aware. He watched curiously as the cracks in the wall reformed themselves into the shape of letters. They weren't written in Ancient Iles or Modern Thalis script, nor did they resemble the patterns of letters Lumière had encountered in texts from the Eastern continent. They were completely foreign to him, who had read so much, and studied language as if it were a hobby. 

"Do any of you know which place these letters come from? Do you think it's the language of the Sylphs in the Emerald Isthmus? Perhaps it comes from the brainless Ghouls farther North? It can't be from the Beauxoi, who live in the Divide- they use Iles, same as us. The Ixlan from the southern sea prefer Thalis to keep up with modern trade- after all, the Arctyle Cove is where Iyasul crystals are grown. So, if it's not from the East, the North, the South, or the West, then where could this language be derived from? And what is it doing inside my head? How strange."

'Another unanswered question. Too many mysteries afoot. I should forge a detective persona to solve them all for me.' Lumière grinned, scheming. 'Still, this doesn't answer the matter at hand. Nothing is allowed to exist here without my say-so. So how did this foreign language I have never conceived end up here?'

It was a mystery that had to remain unsolved for the time being. After all, Lumière had more pressing matters to attend to. Three days had passed. It was time for him to meet Cecilia Yuran once more.