Chapter 16: Feeling down

Lud has been silent for three days in a row, only doing the bare necessities to live. Many have come to comfort him, but none of them worked. So everyone decided to let Lud go at his own pace.

Meanwhile, Li is training Sarah, who is clearly showing signs of frustration with her movements. When the time came to have a break, Sarah slammed her fist to the ground, causing it to make an impact hole.

Li says to Sarah "I know that you are frustrated, but there is nothing we can do to make our lord better." Sarah says "I know but… It's still frustrating that I can't help him when he is in trouble. Have you made contact with that ghost man yet?" To which Li says "I have tried, but I failed to make contact with him. It is like he is purposely avoiding making contact."

Then Maumar's voice is heard saying "Maybe if you switched the method you use to make contact with gods, then maybe I would have come talk to you sooner." Sarah and Li are surprised Maumar's sudden appearance, but Maumar continues "Also as far as I have come to understand sentient beings, I think you should be more accommodating to Ludwif Freigner than you are now."

Sarah says angrily "And what do you know? You are the cause of all this mess, so what place do you have to criticize our methods?" Maumar says "I'm not criticizing anyone. It's just that you fail to put your head in the same mindspace that Ludwig Freigner is currently in. That's my take on the matter."

Sarah says "The same… mindspace?" And Li says "You are saying we don't understand what he is going through?" To which Maumar answers "In a sense. Let's put it this way, I assume that both of you have had dreams that you remember and regret your actions in…" Sarah says "I don't." And Li says "I don't see dreams as I don't need to sleep." Maumar pauses for a moment to think of his next words. Then he says "Fantasies. Let's talk about fantasies. Have you ever had fantasies that you regretted or look back on with embarrassment?" Sarah says "Yeah, kind of" And Li says "Sort of."

Then Maumar says "Good, we are getting somewhere. Now let's assume those embarrassing or regretful fantasies that you had one day turned true. Now wouldn't it be a shock?" To which Sarah says after thinking a moment "I would want to kill myself if the one I'm thinking came true." And Li says "No comment."

Maumar says "Good. That is, for the lack of better reference, the closest thing you can feel that is similar to what Ludwig Freigner is currently feeling. There could also be a closer frame of reference, but I'm slow sometimes, so give me a break."

Then Sarah says "So Faust is… embarrassed right now?" To which Li says "More like in shock. Still, what do you suppose we should do, Maumar?" Sarah is surprised and says "This guy is Maumar?!" To which Maumar says "For when we are with Ludwig Freigner, I am Marumaru, but yes, I am indeed Maumar."

Sarah says "What's with that alternative name of yours?" To which Maumar says "It brings me closer to the kids so to speak." To which Sarah says "If I met someone who unironically called themselves Marumaru when I was little, I would steer away from them the best I could." To this, Maumar comments "That is a matter of perspective."

Li asks again "So what do you think we should do to help our lord, Maumar?" To which Maumar says "I hear that, while temporary fix, mind altering substances should work." Li asks "Anything other than that?" To which Maumar says "Hmmm… My child calling me papa would make me happy, so how about procuring a child for Ludwig Freigner?"

There is a pause.

Then Li asks "Are you serious?" To which Maumar says "I'm dead serious." Then Sarah says "So all I have to do is have sex with Faust and get pregnant so that that child will make him happy?" To which Maumar says "Yes" and at the same time, Li says "No".

Sarah thinks for a moment, nods, and says "Okay. Let's do this." After which Sarah leaves with amazing speed. Li tries to stop her, but then says to Maumar "Look what you've done. You only are going to make things worse."

Maumar says "On the contrary, I think it'll work wonders." Then Maumar pulls out binoculars and looks through them. Li says "Are you seriously going to watch?" To which Maumar responds with "As a papa yourself and the Witness, shouldn't you witness your daughter's first steps to adulthood?"

Li says "That's just plain creepy behavior." To which Maumar responded "But you do want to." And Li says through gritted teeth "I do."

Then Li says to Maumar "But are you seriously thinking that this will fix anything?" To which Maumar responds "While I don't think that copulating is the right answer by itself, I do think that it is the show of affection that will "win the cake", so to speak."

Li says "So the feeling of someone wanting to do anything to the person in order to make the person feel better is the answer in your eyes." To which Maumar says "Depression is hard to deal with. So while I don't think that this method will work all the time, I do believe that it'll work in this particular instance."

Maumar keeps looking from the binoculars and Li comments "You don't really need to use those to see them, do you?" To which Maumar says "No." Li says "But you still insist that you must look through them." And Maumar says "Yes."

Meanwhile Sarah is in front of Lud's room, knocking at it. At first there is no answer, but when Sarah says "I'm going to tear this door open if you don't open it." After which Lud comes and opens the door. He asks "What do you want" in a somber tone.

Then Sarah pushes her way to his room, closes the door behind her and Lud asks "What are you doing?" After which Sarah pushes Lud to his bed and gets on top of him.

Then Lud says "What do you think you are…" But then Sarah stops Lud from speaking by kissing him. After a few moments, Sarah stops kissing and Lud asks "What are you…" but then he notices that Sarah is undressing herself and says "Sarah don't, I…" But Sarah continues kissing while undressing herself.

Then angrily Lud pushes Sarah away and shouts "Stop it!" Sarah is stunned by this and Lud takes the opportunity to say "I don't know what has gotten into you, but whatever the reason is, stop it."

Then Sarah says after tearing up a little "But, I want you to be happy." To which Lud responds saying "Happy? By doing this?" To which Sarah says "Yeah. I'm not smart so I don't know how to make you happy. This guy told me that if he was depressed, he'd be happy if his child would come and comfort him, reminding that there are those that care for him. And since you don't have a child, he said that then making one would make you more happy, so I thought…"

Lud stops her by saying "Look, what I'm dealing with right now isn't something for you to solve. It's…" But this time Sarah interrupts by saying while tears come out of her eyes "But I want to help you. We all do, but we don't know what to do. Li told us to just give you some time, but it's been three days already and everyone is worried about you. I'm tired of just letting you suffer, so I wanted to do something. I'm stupid so I don't know what else to do. Just please… I'll do anything to make things be like they used to be. I want to see you smile genuinely. Please… talk to me… I… I want to help… please."

Lud looks away from Sarah, unable to say anything to her for a moment, but then gaining up the courage to say "This isn't something you can just fix, Sarah. Just… dress up and leave me be." Sarah does so and leaves.

Meanwhile Maumar, who has been commenting all of what happened to Li, says "Aaaand she left. I suppose plan A was a failure. Time for plan B. Li Last, do you know any places where you can drink alcohol?" To which Li says "I do, but you aren't planning to…" And Maumar says "Yes… It is time for… drumroll please… To have a father son discussion."

Li stares at Maumar for a moment and asks "Since when did you take on a fatherly role for my lord?" To which Maumar says "I kind of see him as my… stepson?... Anyways, I simply wanted to do something that might give me that itch that I've been looking to scratch for so long. And since Zolotifa isn't willing to talk to me willingly, I thought that maybe this will suffice."

Li stays silent for a moment longer, until he says "There is a place called "Evening Jewel" that may be what you are looking for." Maumar says "Fantastic. Time to go then." Then Maumar disappears and Li says "But I didn't tell you where… who am I kidding. He is Maumar the counter god. He probably asked me just out of courtesy."

Then after having thought about Sarah's actions for a while, Lud hears a familiar voice behind him saying "Care for a drink Ludwig Freigner?" Lud was spooked a little, but then said in a somber tone "Oh it's you. What do you want?"

Then Maumar walked in front of Lud, grabbed Lud's shoulder and said "We are going to have few drinks, you and I." After which they appear in front of the tavern that Li spoke of. Lud said "I don't want to dri…" but Maumar pushed him inside saying "Don't be like that. Times like these are when you can have couple of drinks."

Both of them go inside and the man at the counter realizes who Lud is, but Maumar says "We are here to have a few drinks to recover this boys' spirit a little." Maumar walks to the counter and hands a particular coin. The tavern owner looks at the coin for a moment, then Lud comes and looks at the situation and sees the coin. It is a full blown platinum coin.

The three stay silent for a while, Lud and the tavern owner looking at the platinum coin and Maumar just waiting for a response. Then the tavern owner says "Are you serious mister? I know that you are accompanying the king, but this…" He points at the platinum coin and says "This is way too much."

Maumar says "I see. I only give these when I'm asking for a favor and I often get it after giving this. My daughter said to me once "Since you tend to give these things like they were candy, I'm surprised that you haven't caused the economy to collapse on itself by now." So nowadays I just give them when I really need something. And this is the moment where I really need something."

The tavern owner says "Look. You could buy a whole street with this kind of money. Do you have anything… less valuable?" To which Maumar says "Oh, since you asked, I do have this." He places a platinum coin with a magic imbued gem embedded on it, implying that it is worth ten platinum coins. Lud and the tavern owner just stare at the coin Maumar placed on the counter for a while.

Then Lud asks "Are you one of those rich people who don't understand the value of money?" To which Maumar says "How strange, my daughter asked me the same exact question once." To which Lud says "So you are then. Do you have, like a cold coin or something?"

Then Maumar says "I do" and places a collector's gold coin that is much more valuable than ordinary cold coin. Lud just says "Any ordinary ones?" To which Maumar places several gold coins on the counter and says "I don't really see the difference in any of these."

The tavern owner then takes the one gold coin that is just a regular one and says "That'll do. So what do you want to drink?" And Maumar says "I leave it to your choice chief." And Lud says "Just regular beer please."

After waiting a while and after Lud told Maumar to collect his coins, the two get their drinks and begin drinking.

Lud then asks "I suppose it was you who gave that idea to Sarah?" To which Maumar answered "I only told her what would make me happy."

Then Lud says "She wouldn't have done that if someone didn't give her a push. Why did you do it?" To which Maumar says "I simply answered the little one a question." Lud asked further, "And you just happened to bring me to this place by chance?" To which Maumar says "Her interest did align with mine, so I simply did what necessary."

Lud says after drinking some of his beer "You… What are you really after?" To which Maumar answers with "What you are asking is not what my true goal is, but what reason I have with bringing you here. To which I'll say that I simply want you to enjoy the days you have left."

Lud says "You… you are Maumar, right?" To which Maumar says "I am, yes." To which Lud responds with "I expected you to try and hide it more." To which Maumar says "I may have done terrible things to people and hide things from them, but I never lie or try to deceive them."

Lud asks "Was it you who brought me to this world?" To which Maumar says "Through my actions, you did end up coming here." Lud asks "Why?" To which Maumar says "As I said, I don't lie to people, but there are things that I do keep hidden from others when need be."

Lud drinks more of his beer and says "So you are not going to tell me, huh. So why is it important to you that I enjoy my remaining days? Is it for the same reason you apologized to me at that time?" And Maumar answers "It has some connection to it, but that isn't the main reason."

Lud asks "Then what is it? Or is it something that you can't tell me?" Maumar drinks some of his drink and thinks for a moment before saying "My stubbornness has caused many people suffering. I just… want to make sure that the suffering I cause is minimal to what's necessary. Due to certain reasons, you only have 72 days of freedom in Lutah. And when those 72 days are up, my protection will end and the time you may enjoy real things will most likely end as well."

Lud asks "Can you tell me what will happen after those 72 days?" To which Maumar says "I cannot say for certain what'll happen to you, but I have reason to believe that you will be placed in a never ending dream, unable to interact with reality. It may be heaven for you and everything that happened during your time in Lutah may feel like it was only a dream, but that heaven is built on a delusion. The truth of the person who'll imprison you."

Lud asks "I suppose you can't tell much more than that?" To which Maumar answers "I cannot."

Then Lud drinks the rest of his beer and says "My mom… what happened to her?" To which Maumar says "She was one of the people who tried to become my child for the chance of a reward of their choosing. She ended up becoming, for the lack of a better word, too tainted to fill that role. The influence of the abyss had taken her reason away and the only thing that they could think of was to get the reward. They became slaves to their desires, so to speak. And Aileen Freigner was one of the more successful ones."

Then Lud asks "What happened to her after you turned her to that marble?" To which Maumar answered "I brought her remains to a place that would send all that good parts of her to her home world and leave the damaged parts here. In the deal that I have struck with so many I have made it clear that once the process begins, they won't be able to return whole to their original world. Something will end up staying here."

Then Lud asks "How… how likely was the chance of her turning out like that?" To which Maumar says "Let me put it this way. You have a higher chance of finding a randomly selected proton out of all protons in your world's universe than you have succeeding in the process of becoming my child."

Lud says "That is… so it was basically impossible." To which Maumar says "No. Extremely unlikely, but not entirely impossible."

Lud then asks "How many?" To which Maumar answers "A number so high that you wouldn't be able to imagine it." Then Lud gets a little angry as he says "So you made countless people lose themselves for the slight chance of getting what they want?!" To which Maumar says "I must correct something. I always made it clear what the chances were and I actually recommended that they wouldn't take on the offer. Nevertheless, countless people took the opportunity for the slightest of chances to get what they wanted. You could say that I took advantage of people's weak moments, but I always made sure to make them understand the price of failure."

Lud then says "You are just a monster pretending to be nice. Otherwise you would have stopped what you were doing long ago." To which Maumar says "I have no argument against that. After all, I'm a very stubborn man who simply wanted a child who shared "flesh" and "blood" with me. And now that I have one, I simply want her to call me her papa in the most sincere way possible."

Maumar raises his hand to show the tavern owner to give Lud another drink. Lud says "You think that you can make me enjoy life again by giving me a couple of drinks? Fat chance." Maumar says "It is true that I'm not good with emotional things, but I try my best to try and understand. Me sharing drinks with you like this, while the primary goal is to make you get up from your slump, I simply wanted to test if I could feel a father son connection with this father son talk."

Lud says "You do suck at this. Like hell I would see you as a father figure." Maumar says "You sound just like her. No wonder you were attracted to each other." Lud asks "Who are you talking about?" To which Maumar says "Does it really matter to you?" And Lud says "Not really."

Lud gets another drink and begins to jug down some of it. Maumar says "So now you are feeling the urge. Emotional beings are truly fascinating." Lud responds by saying "Shut up. Aren't you going to drink?" To which Maumar says "Fair point" and drinks the rest of his remaining drink and orders another one after he is done.

Both keep drinking and for some time, and after jugging four more glasses, Lud says quite drunkenly "How did things end up like this? I just… wanted to make Adam happy… Now he's gone and I'm stuck in some other world or something. Why can't I… just be able to have what I want?"

Maumar says unaffected by the alcohol "You know, if you manage to come out of that ordeal that comes after the 72nd day in one piece, I can show you Adam's final words." Lud says "You talked to my brother before?! Did you try to do the same thing you did to my ma?" To which Maumar says "I asked him and he was one of the people who refused. He did ask me to pass on a message if I came in contact with you."

Lud grabs Maumar's collar and says "Tell me what did he say?" To which Maumar says "I'll only tell you after the 72nd day." Lud says angrily "Tell me!" And Maumar casually drinks as he is being held by Lud and says "Only if you overcome that trial."

Lud stares at Maumar intensely for a moment, until sitting back down frustrated. After Lud drank some more, Maumar says "What I can tell you is that Adam wouldn't want to see you like this."

Lud asks "Wasn't it you who brought me to this tavern?" To which Maumar says "I'm not talking about your drunkenness." Lud stares at his drink for a moment and then says "What am I supposed to do? I can no longer return to my home."

Maumar says "Aren't you forgetting something important right now?" To which Lud says "What?" and Maumar continues "Do you seriously not see what you have right now? Didn't that girl come to your room earlier because she was worried about you?" Lud is silent.

Then Maumar says "Home isn't always a physical place. Home is where you should be able to relax. Home is where you can spend time with your family if you have one. Tell me, what has this place been for you this whole month? A game? A prison? Or perhaps…"

Lud looks at his drink and says "Home. This place is… my home now. And I have people… family waiting for me to… get back up." Maumar says "It seems that I don't need to use plan C."

Lud chuckles and asks "What was plan C supposed to be?" To which Maumar says "Close death experience. Followed by the worried faces of your… family."

Lud then says "Thanks. I… I think I'm fine now. Though a bit drunk." To which Maumar says "If you are done drinking, then I can bring you to your room, though I suppose that is not necessary anymore." Lud asks "What do you…?" 

And then Lud hears Lili say "Took you long enough." Lud Looks behind him and sees that Lili is right behind him. Then he hears Illi's voice saying "Lad, you should trust us some more in the future." As well as Brutus saying "Don't be like that to boss. Dude has enough on his plate." Illi says "You idiot lizard. What I meant is that we'll help with the stuff he has on his plate."

Illi and Brutus are sitting on another table, drinking their own share of drinks. Then Lili says to Lud "Don't you think you oughta go back now Faust?" Lud says "Since when did you get here?" And Lili says "While you were drinking. Honestly, you should be a little more observant even after a few drinks."

Lud says "I… I think I should work on that." Lud rose up from his chair, nearly falling over before Lili caught him and became his support. Lili says "Yeah. I think it is time for us to go Faust." Lud says "I… You are right. Can you help me to get there in one piece?" To which Lili says "With pleasure. Though I must say that I dislike it when you smell like alcohol." Lud says "Sorry."

Lili helps Lud leave the tavern, and before she leaves, Lili says to Maumar "I heard what you told the Nuke, counter god. I'll have you know that I will not forget this." To which Maumar raised his drink while saying "Then why don't you take the opportunity and go at it while Faust Ilumnos is drunk." To which Lili responded "It wouldn't be fair to do it like that." And so she leaves with Lud.

Maumar then drinks the rest of his drink and says "Her reaction was different from what I expected. Not a hint of embarrassment. I suppose she must be mature to just brush it off like that. Emotional beings… such a mystery."

Then Maumar rose from his chair and said "I suppose this father son talk… was a success. Go papa. Go go." Then Maumar goes back to the abyss and says "Now if only I could make her call me papa. Time for the attempt number 2 562 791 651."