CHAPTER 35

I reached my apartment. After getting freshened up, I was lying on the bed. I was feeling a strange satisfaction after today's incident at the pub. When I learned about my dad's crime, I was disappointed, and they didn't have any idea how much I had gone through. They can't keep fucking throwing it in my face. As a son, I have gone through more than they could imagine, and not anymore. Not fucking through words, either. Today, I was proud of myself for the first time. In the past, I was doing so much just to please everyone I was around, but today it was different. Even I started to agree with the statement, and yes, I have changed. I welcome this change.

What were they trying to prove by throwing my dad's wrongdoing in my face? It's been fucking five years, and I know crime is a crime. I am his son, and I have taken enough of everything. My dad was responsible for ruining a family, for a child's death, and for a mother lying on her deathbed. I was heartbroken when I learned about everything. I was always trying to please my dad, but I ignored so many fucking things. I didn't think about my future or what I wanted. I never chose anything; everything was pre-decided. I had to nod my head for his every order, and I kept doing that. That was a fucking mistake.

Daddy was always right, and his order was for the best and better future. Blind faith. I am sorry for Joshua's loss. I couldn't say it to his face, but I was. He didn't give me a chance, nor did any of my friends. I don't blame Joshua for what he did to us; we deserved this life. But the consequences of his actions were only born by me for the past five years. Not even my parents or my sister. They are happy. Everyone can't keep on blaming me for my dad's doing, including Joshua.

If he is expecting eye-to-eye, he can kill me. There was no meaning in the way I was leading my life. I don't give him the right to humiliate me or my work; I am fucking proud of it. Joshua won't forgive anyone in my family. Not in the future, no matter how many years past. It fucking hurts for many reasons. The way his face showcased how much he was disgusted about me and finding every possible way to hurt me was aching me. Still, I was holding on to these emotions for the course of his action. Why? It's been fucking five years now, and I should have overcome everything. Still, I haven't.

I don't know when sleep overtook me. The next day, I was woken up by an alarm sound. I got ready and left for work. After reaching the restaurant, I had breakfast and started cleaning the floor. David was on leave, visiting his boyfriend's parents' place. Such a drastic step, and he is fucking not serious. What is wrong with this guy?

By evening, I was making my way to the apartment. When I reached my floor once again, I was taken aback. Why the hell are my days not getting any better?

Joshua looks exhausted. His necktie was loose, the first two buttons of his shirt were open, and he was holding his blazer in his hand. If he's fucking exhausted, can't he get lost from my sight and rest in his fucking mansion?

I was in front of my flat, facing him. "Don't fucking show up whenever you want to." "Relax, why are you worked up? I need to talk with you." "And I am fucking not interested in anything. Get lost." "First, hear me out. Then you can decide whatever you want." "Are you serious? Why the hell are you fucking behaving like everything is okay between us, not to forget yesterday's incident, which is fucking tempting to rip you off." "You have turned into a fierce one. Wow, where the hell was this Gray hiding before? Not even once dared to speak like this, always being mute and indirectly supporting every fucking thing happening around him." 

That only made my blood boil. What the hell was everyone's fucking problem? What the hell was their problem with my muteness? I was not fucking mute by choice; I opted to be mute because it was fucking better at that time. I was not able to face my dad's hostility, which was only increasing day by day toward me. What the hell would I achieve by opening my fucking mouth? It was impossible to stop whatever happened with Joshua, and my sister would never end up as a CEO; everything is fucking crystal clear. Nothing would change.

"Don't ever show up in front of my flat, and I mean it." "Too late, Gray; I am here." "You fucking know right where the hell the exit is." "Yes, only when I have a word with you." "Can't you fucking get that? I am not interested." "Common, have you given any appointments to anyone? Is anyone coming to your flat?" "Does it concern you?" "Well, in a way, we were a thing, and we had 'N' number of times sex," "So, is it affecting you?" "As I used you to my fullest with no intention of using you, so I thought of giving up on you till yesterday." "What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean by still yesterday?" "That's what I wanted to discuss with you. Can you open the door? Let's discuss like adults."

Once again, I gave in. He always knows his way around me, and I can't stop myself. A fool will always be a bloody fucking fool.

We entered the flat. I sat on the couch, and again, he was in front of me. Can't he fucking occupy the goddam chair? "Spit it out." "You are in a hurry." "I want you out of my flat as early as possible. I don't want you coming over here in the coming days." "Don't despise me too much. Here me out, and you will be thrilled. I have a proposal for you. Not out of pity, trust me, not at least to you." "Will you fucking spit it out?" "Yeah, hold your horse I am getting there. After thinking so much, I have decided on something that includes lots of money and also perks. You can demand whatever you want. It will be granted. Be my b*tch forever." I was stunned and my mind was blank. Did I hear him right? "I didn't get you; come again." "You are a hooker. Whoring your body. You can do that only with me, at least for 10 years. I will be your only customer. In return, I am going to give you everything. You know, money, a big house, a fancy-branded car, every fucking-branded item. You name it."

That took a minute to digest. I was staring into his eyes with my burning gaze. He was smiling, which was sinister with evil intentions. I want to kick this bastard out of my apartment at this instant. Those words were hurting, and my heart was aching. From the time he showed his face after five years, he was doing everything to hurt me and scratch the same wound. I am not getting what he wanted to achieve more of. No matter how much I try, I can't ignore anything related to him. Then how the hell can I ignore everything coming out of his mouth? I may act aloof and strong-headed, and I didn't give a dam to anything, only my outer face. But the same was not the case when I was alone, thinking about every fucking word that was left out of this bastard's mouth. I can't ignore even a word. I wanted to do so many things to vent my anger, and at the same time, I didn't want him to notice anything. How the hell was I going to come back to this one? I am not going to give him any satisfaction, which he is fucking carving for. I lost everything that once surrounded me, and I am not fucking caring for anything anymore. At this point in time, I felt like laughing, and I started laughing harder until my eyes were wet.

"Well, you are generous. Thank you for the offer. I cleared myself yesterday, right? Maybe you were not listening. Let me explain to you once again so that you fucking never forget in the future. I like whoring my body, and I don't want to share saliva or my orgasm with the same person. Every now and then, whenever I feel like fucking, I want new clients. I don't give a dam about the money. Fucking comes first, everything next. So, what I am saying is that I am not interested in you or your money. I don't want to be with the same person. Not in this life. I will pass on your offer. You are fucking not going to get me, trust me."

We were staring at each other with an equal, burning gaze; he was hardly holding himself. If looks could kill, we both would be dead by this second.

"I don't want your immediate answer; you can think over it." "If you ask me the same question after a thousand years, I am going to give the same answer. For the time being, I am not going to settle with anyone. I like what I am doing, and I want to do this. I want to live my sexual life to the fullest so that, in the future, I will not have any regrets. Damn, I am exploring; it's not a fucking crime; why the hell are you people not getting that?" "As I said, think over it. You are going to get more than you deserve. Plus, every fucking thing that you lost in the past." "I can conclude that you never tried to understand me in the past. If you would, you would know that I never give a dam about the money. Well, as you were busy using and getting back to my family, you never noticed anything about me. Yeah, let me tell you I never wanted that rich life, and I am happy with the life I am leading now with nothing. Am I clear? More than this, I am not getting a more polite way to reject your offer. So please don't try to bribe me with the money. The train is long gone; it is never going to come back, especially to you. Thanks for missing the train. I learned a lot of things in my life. Now get the fuck out of my house." "You know something, Gray. I am fucking loving this new version of yours. Wow, God, it's tempting to do so much, but not in a fucking sexual way. You know now that my fucking decision is even stronger. I will make sure that you end up on my bed, one way or another. You know I will get my way. Think over my offer. For you, my offer will always be open, ok? I think we are both done for the day. Goodbye, Gray. See you soon. Trust me, you surprised me a lot."