Chapter 19 ~ Crazy is Happiness

Draven

The next morning, the sunshine is streaming through the window. I wake up before Shaina does and she is hugging me tight with her legs hooked around mine. She looks so peaceful and beautiful with her lips parted and her eyes closed as she breathes in and out.

It's a sight I want to wake up to everyday. I feel like after having sex with her, our connection has become stronger and I can be vulnerable with her. I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not. This is me, the real me and I like myself with her. Although, there is one thing popping in my head and it's bugging me.

I told Shaina last night that I am leaving my dad for good and she said that she will support me no matter what, but what will happen after that?

Will things go back to normal? I don't even know what normal is anymore. What is normal anyway? Is normal pretending to laugh at people's jokes?

Or showing your biggest smile to the world, while you feel like collapsing inside? Is normal going back to college, get a job after graduation and get married?

I don't think anything is normal in life. We have all had crazy events and incidents in our life, which makes us question the normality. I should stop thinking like a philosopher.

I gently slip my hand from beneath her head and make my way to the bathroom. I hope Shaina doesn't mind that I am using her shower. I step out of my jeans and let the water burn my skin. So many different thoughts are flying through my head and I try to gather them, put them in order.

Drinking like a maniac is something I am going to quit, I don't give a fuck about my friend group, because nothing about them is real. Maira has been acting like a pussy bitch and our friendship is falling apart.

I am going to leave my dad for good, because I am tired of putting up with his shit. And Shaina....I am certain that I want to do this for her. I want to be someone she deserves. I want to become worthy of her, because she is worth it. I am leaving my dad for both of our sakes.

Shaina gives me hope that I can have a happy life, with her. I am not going to ruin what I have with her. She is the only thing that I am certain of keeping in my life and I am going to fix everything.

I stand like this for twenty minutes, leaning my head against the white bathroom tiles to erase all the negativity of my body and mind.

When I am back in the room and wear my clothes from last night, Shaina is still sleeping with her body covered in the red satin silk sheets.

I should wake her up to tell her that I am going to Allentown.

I sit on the edge of her bed and brush her hair away from her face. I kiss her beautiful soft cheeks that always blush for me. I keep showering her with kisses on her cheeks, eyelids, nose, forehead and eventually her plump rosy lips.

Her eyes flutter open, while I am tracing the scar on her collarbone with my finger and press a light kiss on it. I wish I could beat up that scumbag, who has left this mark on her.

''Draven.'' She mumbles. God, it's so sexy the way she says my name.

I slip my tongue inside her mouth, exploring every part and inch of it. I enjoy having this effect on her. When I pull away, her aqua eyes are sparkling like sapphires and there is a shy smile dancing on her lips.

''Good morning.'' She says, cupping my cheek with her hand and rubbing our noses together.

''Morning, did you sleep well?''

''Yeah, you?''

''Same,'' I beam at her. ''I am going back to Allentown to get my stuff from my dad's place.''

She sits up, clutching at the sheets with a frown on her face. ''Can I come with you?''

''Do you want to come with me?'' I don't want to force her.

''I want to come with you.'' She confirms with an unsteady voice. She is afraid that I will push her away, but after last night I am not going to do that.

''I will wait for you downstairs then.'' I kiss her forehead before exiting the room.

Shaina

The moment I look at my reflection, my eyes widen in astonishment. My cheeks are glowing and my lips are swollen. I gaze at the back and front of my hand, waving them. I feel different and admire the small marks Draven left on my collarbone and neck. I don't even remember when he did that, but I don't mind.

My mind drives back to the moment when we had sex. The way Draven pumped in and out of me and his wet mouth on the flesh of my skin. It was the best night of my life and it's a precious moment that nobody can take away from me, because it was our moment.

After taking a shower I get dressed. I comb my unruly hair to get all the tangles out and walk downstairs to the living room, where Granny and Gramps are having a conversation with Draven.

''Good morning.'' I greet them with an awkward smile. It feels weird talking to them. Maybe because I have lost my virginity.

''Good morning to you too.'' Granny chirps.

''I heard that you and Draven are going to Allentown.'' Gramps states.

''Yeah.''

''Be careful, I want you guys having dinner with us.'' He demands.

''Of course sir.'' Draven answers with a nod.

''I have packed some food for you two on the way.'' Granny gives me a box with fruits and sandwich, and a water bottle.

''Thank you.'' I smile, kissing her cheek.

''See you later.'' Gramps calls out before we step outside.

**

Draven

During the whole drive, we are both peacefully silent as the radio is on. My hand is on Shaina's thigh and her hand is on top of mine, while she is looking out the window. It seems like we are both afraid of what's going to happen. Not only after leaving my dad, but what the future holds for us.

What will happen? I don't know, but I do know that no matter what happens, I can't and won't leave her.

The sky is light blue as we drive in Allentown and we pass the welcome board.

I don't think there is anything that will assure that everything will be okay, because it won't. My dad is a jerk and he will do anything to pull me back in the deep dark place I used to be in.

I continue repeating in my head that I am doing everything for myself and Shaina, so we can both have a good life. She doesn't know how much it means to me that she has decided to come with me.

I park the car behind a tree and turn off the engine. The memories haunt my mind when I glance at the house. It's a modern house with a pitched roof that is flat and the windows are geometric. The curtains are closed, because my dad doesn't like to have light in the room.

''You ready?'' Her voice startles me and her lips are in a straight line. I have no idea what comes over me, but I place my hand on the back of her neck and lean in to kiss her fiercely, delving my tongue inside. She sucks in a breath, but kisses me back.

There is a knot of fear forming in my stomach. I have a feeling that this is the last time I get to kiss her and touch her. The same way I saw my mother for the last time and I don't want to suffer the pain again. I consume the taste of her tongue and her lips that taste like a mix of sugar and candy.

It reminds me of the time when my dad refused to buy me candies, because I got a low grade for geography.

I move my mouth away from hers to press a light a kiss on her forehead and climb out of the car. She does the same and we walk on the front porch, which is covered in mud and snow. It stretches the frontage of the house and we leave our footprints on the snow, holding each other's hands.

I remember that I would curl in a ball near the fireplace and my mom used to read me stories from the books she bought for me every Christmas. Those were good times that soon came to an end. I turn the key in the lock and open the door.

There are damages in the door and walls, because of the punches my dad gave me or because he slammed my head against them. I am about to walk to my bedroom with Shaina when I hear the footsteps of my dad's boots. I hope he doesn't hurt me or Shaina, but I am more afraid for Shaina. My grip tightens around Shaina's hand and she scoots closer to me.

Shit, I should have let Shaina wait in the car. This way I wouldn't have to worry about her getting hurt.

''Thank God, you're smart enough to come back. You....'' My dad trails off, glancing at Shaina with his eyebrows knitted together. ''Who is she?''

''I am Shaina, Draven's friend.'' She speaks up in an unsteady voice, clasping my hand.

''Right,'' he says, fixing his gaze back on me. ''Are you going to study now?''

I gulp and muster up the courage to tell him. ''I am sorry, but I can't be here anymore. I am leaving.''

I inhale and exhale, expecting my father to yell at me, but he doesn't. Instead, he glances between me and Shaina with an observing look in his eyes. His black hair is messy, and he is dressed in a forest green shirt and black jeans.

''It's Shaina, right?'' He asks her and Shaina nods. ''Do you mind waiting outside, while I speak to my son?''

''You can say it in front of her.'' I say in a light tone to not come out rude.

''I wasn't speaking to you.'' He spits.

To avoid that he is going to hurt her I say. ''Wait outside for me.''

She looks unsure with her lips parted.

''I will be fine.'' I assure her and myself. I would rather die than letting her get hurt because of me. She leaves as she closes the door behind her and I know that this is not going to end well.