Chapter 10 ~ Go for what You Want

Shaina

The first thing I notice when I wake up, is that I am not in my room. There is a white desk with a black leathered chair. Above the table, there is a honey brown polished shelf without any books and in the corner there is a green wooden dresser.

My eyes are a little swollen. The last thing I remember was that I fell unconscious and thought that I was never going to wake up.

I rub my eyes to get the sleepiness out. I find Draven leaning against the frame of the large window with grey blackout curtains. Draven's shirtless back is facing me and I gaze at the tattoos and scars. He has a tribal tattoo, leading to his shoulder blades and belt marks on his back.

What happened to him?

I realize that he is the one who took care of me last night. He is so kind and caring.

''Draven?'' I ask confused to make sure it's him. He turns around and his silver eyes are soft.

''Hey, how are you feeling?'' He immediately sits on the edge of the bed with a small smile on his face.

''My head hurts a little.''

''Here.'' He hands me a coffee cup.

''What is it?''

''Tea, I went to the cafe.''

I remember that it was raining when he found me. ''In the rain?''

''Yeah, but I don't mind. I took my umbrella.'' He points to the black umbrella on the floor.

''Thanks.'' I say and take a sip from the steaming tea. It's green tea, my favorite. Granny always makes this when I am tired or have a cold.

''What time is it?'' I ask after drinking half of the green tea.

''A little past midnight.'' He looks on his phone.

''Where is everyone?''

''Oliver texted me that they're going to a party.''

''Aren't you going?''

''I am not going to leave you.'' He answers.

Out of everyone, he is the one who has looked for me. He is the one who care of me.

He stands up and looks out the window with his hand leaning against the wall. He seems uncomfortable, sad and lost. I stand up and realize that I am not wearing my previous clothes. Instead, I am wearing a grey sweater with shorts. The grey sweater is a little too big for me, because it's hanging over my shoulders.

''Are you okay?'' I ask him, leaning against the wall on his right. His head turns to me and his pupils are dilated, filled with desire.

He takes a step towards me and I am backed up against the wall. ''I never had a choice in life. I could never have anything I want, so I decided to never want anything in life and take whatever I have,''

He rests his hand on the side of my head, his silver eyes boring into my blue ones. ''But now I want something so badly and I am not sure if I can have it.''

His eyes are on my lips and I gulp. ''What do you want?''

''It doesn't matter what I want, but I don't want it to go away.''

I lick my lips and chew on my bottom lip. ''The longer you think about something you want, the easier it is to slip out of your hands.''

''Then I guess I should grab the chance.''

He leans and I wait for his lips to touch mine. The moment I feel the warmth of his lips on mine, I gasp. I grab his shoulders for support and his other hand is on my waist, pulling me closer to him.

I forget the anxiety and the lump in my throat I had a few hours ago, and focus on the way his lips feel on mine. It's soft and so gentle. His tongue moves around mine in a rhythm and I can't hold back anymore. His tongue goes deeper in my mouth, exploring every corner.

I have never kissed anyone before and now that I know what it feels like, I want more. I can feel my pulse quicken and my breath quivering, but in anticipation. I should feel terrified, but I am not. The way he touches me is so tender, but passionate.

My hands move around his neck and we lean against the wall. I don't feel my legs anymore. His hands comb my hair, pulling my head back to kiss me deeper, to let his tongue explore better and I let him. I don't want him to stop. He lifts me up and I lock my legs around his torso, clutching onto him.

I can feel his arousal against my stomach, making me breathe heavier, but I don't pull away.

Draven

All the self-control I still had, was gone the moment my lips collide with hers. She looks so fucking sexy in my sweater, which is exposing the small mark on her collarbone of her smooth skin.

I can feel my blood, pumping through my veins and my heart beating faster because the way her lips tremble. She doesn't pull away for one second and I don't either.

She told me to go for what I want and I have decided to take my chance. I don't care anymore. I can't stay away from her, because I have already dug too deep.

She buries her fingers in my hair, increasing the closeness. I know that this is her first kiss, because of the way her lips are trembling and her breath quivering.

At this moment I perceive how long I have waited for her and how much I needed her. Unfortunately, I can't have her because I know that I can't involve her in my fucked up life.

Her eyes are so captivating and hiding the sadness she is carrying with her. She doesn't need that kind of shit in her life, but those thoughts fade away when I explore her body with my hands and suck her tongue into mouth. She wraps her arms around my neck.

I pull away to trace soft kisses on the corner of her mouth, her jawline, the mark on her collarbone and her neck, while she is moaning. My cock is pressed against her stomach and I feel her breast in my hand.

The way her legs are wrapped around my waist makes me not want to let go of her. Her small sexy body is shaking and her breath is heavy. I leave a trail of kisses on her shoulders and grip her waist tighter. I move my mouth from hers so we can catch our breath and rest my forehead against hers with our noses inches away.

When I open my eyes, I gaze at her closed eyes and put her back on her feet, but she still clutches onto me.

Once she opens her eyes, they look terrified and the color drains from her face. She removes her arms from my neck and lowers her head. Did I do something wrong?

''Are you okay?'' I cup her cheek and caress it with my thumb, but she jerks away.

''I am fine, I have to go to my room.'' She answers, searching for I assume her clothes.

''Your clothes were wet, so I have put them in the laundry basket,'' I inform, but she reaches for her sneakers. I gently pull her arm to stop her. ''Wait, did I do something wrong?''

''No, I just....have to go my room.'' She says in a rush and leaves without an explanation.

''Fuck.'' I tug at my hair, sitting on the bed. Normally I am the one who pushes her away, but the tables have turned this time.

I am wondering what made her so terrified. She didn't stop when I kissed her, so from what is she running away?

Now I can feel the scars throbbing in my chest and I am missing her already.