Should I Love You?

A lovely figure can be seen sitting up in a hospital bed looking out the window just as the sun about to peek above the horizon. Her beautiful black eyes are filled with sadness yet, as tears threaten to spill from her eyes, she holds them back, afraid that once she relaxes they will never stop again. Jing Ling wonders why she was born with such a weak body. Because of this damn heart condition, she has been nothing but a burden to her mother.

Her mother, Mrs. Jing, is the sweetest woman who was once a peerless beauty. However, in order to pay Jing Ling's medical bills, she has been working two full-time jobs for the past 18 years. The continuous pressure over the years has caused her to age considerably. Although she's only in her mid-forties, Mrs. Jing looks like she is well over fifty. On a daily basis, she barely eats to lower her food expenses and never buys new clothes even if her old ones are filled with holes. Most importantly, Jing Ling has always blamed herself for her broken family. Because of her, her father abandoned her mother for another younger, richer woman.

If only I was never born, mother and father would still be happy together and mother wouldn't be suffering as she is now. The tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes were now steadily streaming down. Ah, why couldn't she be like the main characters in those wuxia world novels she reads. Then her mother wouldn't have to suffer and she wouldn't be such a burden.

Jin Ling hears footsteps approaching her room from down the hall. Quickly she recovers her emotions and wipes away her tears.

"Dear, how are you feeling today?"

"I'm feeling great mother, you don't have to be so worried." Jing Ling smiles at her mother, but the sadness in her eyes grow at the sight of her mother's appearance. "Why are you wearing so little mother? It's snowing outside! You need to take better care of yourself."

"Oh don't worry about me. A little snow won't do anything to me!" Mrs. Jing says while smiling, but her pale complexion and shivering hands prove otherwise.

Sighing, Jing Ling could do nothing but lower head and hide her guilt. "Why are you here so early mother? You should sleep and get more rest."

"Well… I… won't be able to visit you as often anymore after today. You see, I took on another night job… Never mind about me. Here, dear, I brought you your favorite peaches. Eat before those nurses find out I snuck in food for you again hehe."

"Ohhhh… peaches!" Jing Ling makes a love-struck face and starts drooling. "Wait. WHAT!? Why? Is it because of my medical bills? I'm sorry, because of me you're always…" Cough Cough

Suddenly Jing Ling begins to cough as she clutches her chest and her vision darkens.

"DEAR!? DOCTOR! SOMEONE!"

The buzzing sounds of machines running and the smell of disinfectant were the first thing the greeted Jing Ling when she woke up. Her vision was still blurry and she could faintly hear a conversation. "Is that mother's voice? Who is she talking to? Why… Why is she crying?"

"What… that's not possible! Please, doctor, I beg you, save my child. She was doing fine just this morning! How can you tell me she is dying now?"

"I apologize madam. There's nothing else we can do for your daughter now. The last attack has pushed both her heart and body to their limit."

"NO! That can't be… Why, why must this happen to my Jing Ling?" Mrs. Jing sobs.

When Mrs. Jing enters her daughter's room, the sight of her precious daughter just lying there breaks her heart. "Jing Ling, dear, mother's sorry. I can't do anything for you. Why can't I suffer in your place?"

Jing Ling really wanted to get up and comfort her mother but her body wouldn't move no matter how hard she tried and the pain in her chest was unbearable. "Don't cry mother, I love you. Let's eat the peaches you brought me when I wake up tomorrow ok." Jing Ling slowly closed her eyes to rest but never again did she wake up.