a little too late

Eric woke up. i took a deep breath. i was about to say something when he said it first.

"let's stop this." he looked at me. i was stunned. like how the hell have he got the guts to tell that to me first?

"thanks" that's all i could say. at least now tapos na. i can fix this with Jake.

"but don't you thing it's a little bit too late?" Eric said nonchalantly. like he wasn't involved at all. which irritated me.

"it wasn't supposed to be this long. it was supposed to be one time." i guiltily said.

"do you think, maayos niyo pa toh? he still my friend you know" the gull of him.

"how do you even know na i want to end this?" i asked irritated.

"not that hard, the moment you texted na you wanna have a talk alam ko na." i was silent. was he perhaps been feeling guilty all the time?

"sorry, i shouldn't have took advantage of you when you we're feeling insecure. i felt guilty all the time. and I can't be like Jake, so i know sooner or later i have to return you to him." i... i was speechless

"no, thank you. if not di ko alam kung hanggang kelan ako maiinsecure sa relasyon namin. siguro mali yung method but it helped me realize things." honestly, maybe i could've found a better way. damn too late now.

I left Eric's place to go to Annie's, I need her help para sa kung ano man ang mangyari ngayon. i just hope for the best? bahala na. when i came to Annie's, i thought of dropping by Jake's place. pero di pa ko ready so kumatok ako sa door ni Annie's pag bukas niya nagulat siya. at tinanong ako kung bat ako andun. so nag taka ko, sabi ko i need to talk to her. pero sabi niya bukas nlng kase masama pakiramdam niya, so umuwi na ko. pag uwi ko napansin ko naka off yung phone ko, siguro nalowbat, so habang nag chacharge ako nag linis muna ko ng kwarto, naligo, kumain, nanuod ng movie hanggang sa nakalimutan ko na yung phone ko.

the next morning nagising ako sa katok ni daddy. andito daw si Ann, pero di ako bumangon tapos pumasok na si Annie. nagtataka ako kase umupo lang siya sa bedside ko tapos di umimik. so minulat ko mata ko, tapos nakita ko yung mata niya, namumula. so bumangon ako tapos tinanong ko siya

"what happen?" habang chinicheck ko yung mukha niya. tinanong ko kung bat siya umiyak, wala siyang imik at tinitigan lang ako sa mata then she finally talked.

"i wanna tell you something" Annie talked like something grave happened so i got worried but i kept listening.

"I'm sorry, but i just wanna be honest. i know that it's wrong but i want you to know." she said with tears in her eyes.

"I'm... I..." she closed her eyes and finally said " Jake knows the truth. it's been 2months, I'm sorry for not telling you. sorry, nakiusap siya na wag kong sabihin na alam niya na. ayaw ka niya mawala, hinintay ka niya mag explain Eun. for 2months nag hintay siya sayo." *boom* napatigil ako bigla. nanginginig mga kamay ko, nanlamig yung likod ko. i can feel my sweat forming on my forehead and all i can think about was to call Jake. so i picked up my phone turned it on and called him as fast as i could. and then the ring came. yung puso ko parang tumitigil sa kada ring.

"hello babe?" sa wakas sinagot niya.

"..." walang sagot

"babe? hello? asan ka?" kabado kong tanong

"..." wala parin sagot

"babe, pwede tayo mag kita?" dinig na dinig sa boses ko ung kaba, yung kamay ko nginginig.

"..." wala.

"please say something?" tumulo na yung luha ko. pero wala siyang sinabi

"i know you're there, please baby, please let's talk? i wanna see you. babe please?" pero puro buntong hininga lang ang sagot niya sakin. lord, please parang awa niyo na ayoko siya mawala.

*duut..duut..* binaba niya. wala siyang sinabi. natulala ako. ano na gagawin ko? agad akong bumuhat nag hilamos at nag bihis

"he's not there" sabi ni Annie. napatigil ako at hinarap siya what do you mean he's not there?

"he left." buntong hininga niya at sinagot yung tanong ko na halata sa mukha ko.

"wh-what? wh-when? wh-where?" di ko na alam, ano gagawin ko? pano ko siya hahanapin?

"he left the dorm yesterday, kaya di kita pinapasok sa dorm kahapon kase di ko alam sasabihin ko sayo." pag amin niya. bat hindi? dapat sinabi mo sakin!

"where is he?" the look on Annie's face says it all na alam niya. then why? bat niya tinatago sakin? what's wrong with her she's my friend!

"he said not to tell you anything." she looked down avoiding my eyes. what?

"why? i need to talk to him, I-I'm trying to make things right. i was gonna make things right. please, Annie, i need to know where is he?" nakiusap ako, i cried my heart out. i need to find him. where is he? what about us? me? but Annie wouldn't talk, so i called someone else.

"i dont know" di pa man ako nag tatanong, sinagot na ko ni Eric.

"so you knew?" i gasps. he knew, yet he did what he did yesterday?!

"he told me after your date." i paused. so kaya pala ganon? kaya pala parang may mga laman yung sinasabi niya. what? that's it? was he saying goodbye?

"so why? why did you do it? you could've told me? why? was it so amusing to know that ill suffer? is this how it is? revenge?" i was mad, no, i was sad. i was heartbroken, and scared. i want to find him to explain to work things out but he doesn't seem to want to. i had 2months. what have i done?!

"2months..." i murmured.

"2months what?" he doesn't know.

"2months na niyang alam, the truth. the whole truth." i said. weakened. and then he paused.

"what?!" angry, i can feel it over the phone, akala niya ako lang yung walang alam.

"he's been waiting for both of us to confess for 2months. Annie said Jake asked her not to say that he knows" then i cried again, Jake was hurting. and i didn't even know.