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Two Greedy Uncles Walking to the Beat

A Short Story

by Reading dreamer

Rhiannon Clifford was thinking about Gary Chan again. Gary was a loving ogre with handsome elbows and moist ankles.

Rhiannon walked over to the window and reflected on her creepy surroundings. She had always hated dull Moscow with its ugliest, unlawful umbrellas. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel ambivalent.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a loving figure of Gary Chan.

Rhiannon gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a controlling, creepy, port drinker with spiky elbows and wide ankles. Her friends saw her as a lively, little lawyer. Once, she had even jumped into a river and saved a knotty baby bird.

But not even a controlling person who had once jumped into a river and saved a knotty baby bird, was prepared for what Gary had in store today.

The sleet rained like sitting badgers, making Rhiannon fuzzy. Rhiannon grabbed a warped banana that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.

As Rhiannon stepped outside and Gary came closer, she could see the sweaty glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want a resolution," Gary bellowed, in a brave tone. He slammed his fist against Rhiannon's chest, with the force of 8091 blue bottles. "I frigging hate you, Rhiannon Clifford."

Rhiannon looked back, even more fuzzy and still fingering the warped banana. "Gary, I don't have the money," she replied.

They looked at each other with surprised feelings, like two easy, energetic elephants loving at a very grateful bar mitzvah, which had reggae music playing in the background and two greedy uncles walking to the beat.

Suddenly, Gary lunged forward and tried to punch Rhiannon in the face. Quickly, Rhiannon grabbed the warped banana and brought it down on Gary's skull.

Gary's handsome elbows trembled and his moist ankles wobbled. He looked surprised, his body raw like a teeny-tiny, thundering teapot.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Gary Chan was dead.

Rhiannon Clifford went back inside and made herself a nice glass of port.

THE END