The Sage Ch01: I Came, I Saw, I Conquered, I Retired

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Betad by morde24, OoalGown, Hermes, Priapus and TheDonFluffles

The Guild of Gamers: The Sage

Chapter 01: I Came, I Saw, I Conquered, I Retired

There were very few types of people who would let themselves into the bedchambers of a Dark Lord without so much as knocking, so as the handsome youth strolls into my room, I can only raise an eyebrow at his casual stride as I lounge in my favourite chair.

He wasn't an assassin, that much was obvious. No subtlety at all as he just walked in through the front door, and the sheer magical aura coming from the young man sent a shiver through my body that I can almost call fear. I had almost forgotten what it feels like to be in the presence of someone who was so obviously stronger than me. He just radiates magic that tastes of death. I've felt something similar around extremely powerful liches but he takes it to another level entirely.

"About time, what took you so long?" I ask with a grunt, making him pause midstep, blinking in confusion at my tone.

"Oh? You were expecting me?" he asks, his tone incredibly smooth as a light smirk appears on his face.

"You are Death, aren't you? I figured you'd come to reap me a few decades ago, but better late than never," I scoff, not that I mind the delay.

I'm too old to fear dying. I've done everything I set out to do. Besides, I know whatever afterlife awaits me isn't going to be a paradise, my deeds have ensured that, not that I have any regrets.

As he bursts into laughter, he takes a seat opposite me, giving me a genuine grin.

"Well, you aren't entirely wrong but you're not right either. I am a God of Death, but I didn't come here to drag you to the afterlife," he admits, getting his laughter under control. "Oh, I knew you'd be fun."

"Then you have me at a disadvantage, because if you're not here to drag me to an eternity of suffering I haven't got a clue what you want," I admit, scratching my gray beard. "But oh well, would you like a drink? Do gods even drink?"

"This one certainly does," the deity replies with a chuckle, watching as a pair of glasses levitate over to the small table between us, the finest bottle of rum I have pouring into the glasses.

No point saving it for a special occasion, even if he isn't here to kill me I know I don't have long left.

"Excellent, so tell me, what brings a God to a barmy old codger like me?" I ask, grabbing my glass and taking a sip, enjoying the rush of warmth through my body as he does the same.

"Firstly, I should introduce myself. Kuro Dantalion, a human, turned devil, turned god. A pleasure to meet you, Emperor Henry Black," Kuro says as he toasts with his glass. "The noble, turned pirate captain, turned Dark Lord. Quite the resume."

A human who became a god? Tch, nobody told him you could do that. Ah well, it's a little late for dreams of Godhood now, and it sounded like too much responsibility for an old man like him anyway.

"Well, when you've lived as long as me you end up playing a few roles," I say with a chuckle.

"Oh, definitely. I've played just about every role you can imagine and more than a few that you couldn't," Kuro agrees. "But as for why I'm here, well I've been a big fan of yours for a while. Do you know how rare it is for a Dark Lord to win? Let alone for one to get to such an old age?" Kuro asked, making him scratch his beard again.

"Well, every Dark Lord I know of was either a demon or that one elf, so old age wasn't really a problem for them," I admit, making him nod in agreement.

I'm old, for a human wizard at least. Regular humans can live for a hundred years if they're lucky and careful, a human with magic can live for three times that.

I'm four hundred and… something? I stopped keeping track a good long while ago.

An elf can live for a couple of thousand years, a demon can live ten times that.

"But you're not wrong, I don't think I've ever heard of a Dark Lord lasting long enough to have to worry about old age," I agree, making him nod.

"You already know this, but you're dying. All those enemies, the heroes and the rivals, and here you are dying of old age," Kuro said with a smile.

Ha, and wasn't that the best insult he could give them all?

"Of course if it wasn't for your dozen succubi consorts you'd have lasted another century or so, so credit where it's due," Kuro continued, making him chuckle sheepishly. "…also your diet, smoking and drinking. The food at banquets did more to kill you than the poison."

"Well, it's better to live a good life and die younger than cling onto a boring life," I say with an unrepentant shrug.

It's not like I'm dying young, but I'm well aware that my magic is why I lasted this long.

"Very true, it was never a problem for me but what's the point in living forever if you're just miserable forever?" Kuro asked rhetorically as I nod in agreement. Wise words. "But what if it wasn't a problem for you either?"

"Oh?" I ask, pulling out a cigar and placing it in my mouth, lighting it with a small burst of fire magic. "I don't fear death, even if I can't say I'm eager for what comes afterwards, so what's your offer?"

I'm not naive enough to believe anything is free in this world, or any world for that matter.

"You see, I'm one of the leaders of an extraplanar organisation called the Guild, and we recruit people like you from across the countless worlds to join us." Kuro starts, making me narrow my eyes in thought. "Admittedly this is a bit of an unusual recruitment. Normally we collect the souls of our recruits after their deaths, offering them a second chance, and the people we recruit are often just regular people without power, who have the right personality to thrive in our organisation."

Ha, an effective recruitment strategy. Join us or go into the void, or whatever eternal punishment awaits you.

"But I decided to try something different this time, and start the process a little earlier than usual, though to be honest old age is going to take you in the next day," Kuro says, making me raise an eyebrow.

"And what do members of this Guild get?" I ask, making him chuckle.

"Immortality, to start with. Though you can still die in battle or through assassination, age and illness will never threaten a member of the Guild. Aside from that, the ability to travel the multiverse, immense power, the usual fare really," Kuro says with a shrug.

"And the price?" I ask, leaning back in my chair.

"Well, joining the guild is a lifetime commitment, and with eternal life being a company benefit~" Kuro says in an almost singsong voice as I grunt. "It's not that bad, frankly we don't care what the Guild members do most of the time, you'll be free to do as you please."

Hm, Kuro is blatantly not mentioning what the Guilds leaders got out of this, but that is business as usual when it comes to dealing with Gods.

So, die and go to the eternity of suffering I know is waiting for me or join the Guild and play their games instead. I could have gained immortality in a few different ways but they always had more downsides than I was willing to accept. Lichdom doesn't suit someone as fond of earthly pleasures as me.

I know exactly what afterlife awaits me, I've had angels tell me in great detail during one of the dozen or so holy wars to overthrow me.

"Would I have to leave my world?" I ask, making Kuro smile.

"No, but as someone who can see the future it's better if you do. You've laid all the groundwork, but your son is the one who starts this world's golden age," Kuro says, making me chuckle.

That sounds about right, the brat has always been smarter than me. I rule through fear and overwhelming power, it's kept the world at peace for a good century or so but I'd be the first to admit I'm not the greatest ruler.

"Well, I have nothing to lose, except my soul and I'm not that attached to it anyway," I say, making Kuro laugh lightly again. "Not sure what good this old goat is going to be to your Guild, but I'll take it, even if just to spite the angels waiting for their chance to unleash some divine punishment on me."

"Ha, spite is always a good motivator," Kuro agrees, holding out his hand.

Taking it, I gasp as I feel an influx of power rush through me, my wrinkles vanishing as my body rapidly grows more youthful, the white of my beard turning to a deep black again for the first time in centuries.

Looking towards the mirror, I smile slightly seeing a much younger Henry Black staring back at me, before frowning and shaking my head.

Last time I looked like that, I was still a naive fool who couldn't accept the reality of my world. I already had some grays in my beard when I took up piracy.

"Say, Kuro, could I keep my older appearance? I've grown fond of the distinguished look," I ask, making Kuro shrug as he waves his hand again.

The feeling of power doesn't leave my body, and I still feel the strength of youth, but my hair turns gray once more as some of my wrinkles return.

That's the Henry Black I know, the one I'm proud to be.

"Thanks, my boy. So, what happens now?" I ask, well aware that the being sitting in my room is much older than me.

"Now? Well, you've already had a full life so I suppose it's time for you to enjoy your retirement. I'll pick your first world, but honestly? Go out and have fun, it's a big multiverse out there and you've seen so little of it," Kuro says with a grin. "Conquer a hundred more worlds, retire from the Dark Lord life and just go and explore the worlds, or just take up a hobby or ten. I'll get what I want either way."

"Heh, retirement? With all this youthful energy running through my veins?" I ask, standing up and smiling at the lack of pain in my bones.

"Like I said, it's up to you, it doesn't particularly matter to me whatever you choose," Kuro says as he rises himself. "I'm going to head off, crush this and it'll send you to your next world," Kuro says as he passes me a small orb.

Ah, so I can take some time to get my affairs into order? Not that I haven't already done that, but it's nice to know I have the time.

"Aye, I will lad," I say, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm looking forward to working with you, and your mysterious Guild," I laugh, feeling lighter than I have in years.

"Oh, I'm sure it's going to be great," Kuro says as he gives me a grin and vanishes in a swirl of black mist.

"Now then, I suppose I should make sure everything is ready for this old man's departure," I chuckle to myself, plans already forming in my head.

Historians would look on that night with bafflement as they tried to sense of how Henry Black, the most infamous dark lord to ever ride to power, managed to kill so many powerful figures, heroes and demons alike, who could have threatened his empire after his death in the same night that he was found dead in his bed, having peacefully passed away in his sleep.

Regardless of the mystery surrounding his death, most agree that his actions directly attributed to the endless golden age of peace that was his son's, the Emperor Edward Black, rule.

Mostly because Henry had devastated every other faction so badly they were unable to prevent themselves from being absorbed into the Black Empire that spanned the entire world.

— Henry Black —

With a chuckle I crush the orb Kuro gave me with a happy smile. It's good to make sure you aren't leaving behind problems that your children will have to deal with, so I decided to pay all my old enemies a visit before leaving.

Faking my death isn't particularly hard, and I don't need to say my goodbyes. Edward knows my time is coming, he's a smart lad and he's made his peace with it. Maybe one day I'll reveal the truth but I believe Kuro, Edward will make a better ruler without me looming over him.

Immediately I feel the incredibly powerful teleportation magic inside it activate, pulling me out of my world and towards wherever Kuro has arranged for me to go.

What am I going to do there? I haven't got a clue, and that's refreshing. All my goals have been met, I have no responsibilities anymore, so I can just take it slow and do whatever I feel like doing.

Reappearing in the middle of a room, I look around before spotting a large doorway with a purple portal in the middle of it, and a small book next to it.

Getting the idea, I head over to the book and start reading the somewhat messy handwriting of the note attached to it.

I decided to give you some control over your first world, because I'm nice like that. This is your hub by the way, it's just a portal room for now but you can expand it later. Just pick a page, most are blank for now but I've picked a few that I think you'd enjoy. If you get bored you can just leave and pick a new one, so don't sweat it too much.

Opening the book, I notice he didn't exactly give much detail on each world, but he has put a small description on each page.

On the first page, it simply says 'Nazerick really needs a proper Dark Lord, so if you still want to play the villain this is the world for you. It should be a vacation for you.'

Hm, it could be fun. The conquest was a lot more fun than actually ruling the world to be honest. Still, I need to look at all my choices before making my decision.

Moving onto the next page, 'Since you seem to like playing with devils and angels, this world should be interesting. Plus, basically everyone is sexy as fuck so it should be fun either way.'

How vague, but he's not wrong. I do like playing with angels, making them fall is a guilty pleasure of mine, especially if you just piss them off so much they fall from sheer wrath. Devils are less interesting but they can still be fun to mess with.

'This world could use the help, of course the main religion of this world really doesn't like magic so they might take offence to a mage who isn't locked away in their towers.'

Tch, another religion ranting about the dangers of magic? I half want to go there just so I can teach them their place. I've done that song and dance before, I'll happily do it again.

'Hey look, another world where magic is frowned upon. This one has a mad king who really hates magic, also a group of sorceresses that just tried to assassinate a bunch of kings, so they're very witch-burny at the moment.'

Ahh, sorceresses. They never know when to quit playing their games and everyone else has to pay the price of their schemes. The amount of sorceresses I had to execute for trying to either kill or control me is a laughable high.

I could go and play savior to the mages of that world, do some good deeds to make up for my long life of villainy. Well, that plus I also want to discipline some more snobby sorceresses.

'This world would basically be a vacation for you, I mean sure there's an undead army up north and some baby dragons down south but I'm pretty sure you could solo them without even breaking a sweat, aside from that it's just a lot of politics. Just a bunch of royals and nobles with no real power and delusions of grandeur.'

Is there any other kind of noble? A fancy bloodline doesn't mean your blood won't look the same as any peasants once it's spilt all over the ground. Gold makes a poor shield against the pitchforks of a group of peasants that have been oppressed for too long.

So, four choices huh?

Well, there's a very simple way to decide where I'm going first. This is a serious decision and should be treated with a level of seriousness befitting a retired emperor like me.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…

— Bonus Scene — Kuro Dantalion

"What happened to recruiting people without power to make them more grateful for the power we gave them?" Kuro the first asks, making me shrug with a grin.

"Come on, he's a wizard pirate dark lord, I couldn't miss out on that," I admit, making Kuro laugh. "If the others ask, I'll call it an experiment."

"Okay, fair enough," Kuro agrees, I knew he'd agree, we're too alike for him not to understand. "So did you actually have a plan beyond 'this'll be funny'?"

"Oh absolutely not," I admit as he nods.

"Understandable, have a nice day," Kuro says, patting me on the shoulder.

'This will be funny' has been our motto for a long time, and as much chaos as I can cause alone, two Kuro's can cause so much more.

Also I 100% need his protection from Shiro, who really doesn't like me. It's entirely not my fault, he cloned Kuro the first, it was only fair I got to clone him in return.

But try explaining that to Shiro, he's so unreasonable sometimes.