Chapter 4

I've embarrassed myself in front of Stellen. The day that we went shopping he leaned in towards me. I mistook what he was doing and thought he was leaning in for a kiss. I leaned in and tried to kiss him, he stepped back. He wasn't trying to kiss me. HE WAS TRYING TO HELP ME PUT ON A NECKLACE HE BOUGHT ME IN THE MALL!!! I was beyond embarrassed, everyone saw me get rejected but that wasn't all that went down.

''Do you like it? I thought it suits your temperament pretty well.''

My face was so red I couldn't even look him in the face. He could tell I was embarrassed. WHO COULDN'T"…

''Ye… yes it looks really nice.''

He sighs…

''Maybe I should take you home.''

In the car it was quiet. Awkward and uncomfortable. I felt like I ruined the rest of the day so I felt like I had to explain why I couldn't get myself to look at him.

''I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. In all honesty I- I was embarrassed today at the mall.''

He looked at me. It was intimidating.it was like a wolf staring at his prey.

''May I ask why?''

''Well, I- um it was because you were so close to me today I- I thought you were trying to kiss me. I was embarrassed because I wanted to kiss you- you and I th- thought you did too.''

I look at him and smile

''I guess it was just my wishful thinking'' *hehe

He doesn't look at me for the rest of the ride. I assumed that meant that he didn't want to look at me after I mistook his kindness as a sign of lust. He parks the car. I get out but he follows.

''I would feel a lot safer if I walked you to your apartment door.

I nod and he follows. It's still quiet between us. I don't know if he would want to be my date to my sister's wedding. I wanted to cry but I wasn't going to, especially not in front of him. The elevator stops and I turn to see he is resting. I lightly tap his shoulder.

''Hey. The elevator stopped. My apartment is just right here.''

He walks me to the apartment door. I turn to let him know that this is my door.

"'Um this is ma- mmf ''

Before I get to finish my sentence he presses his lips against mine not allowing me to let a single word out. He gently pushes me against the door. He wraps his hands around my waist. I was confused. Beyond confused. He stopped. He turned and before he left he said something to me.

''It wasn't your wishful thinking.''

I was too out of it to think about what just happened. I was burning hot. What does this mean? What am I to him right now? I go inside and take a shower. It plays in my head over and over again. When I lay in the bed all I can think about after this is will this be another tragic end for me. I decided it would be best if I kept my distance from him for a couple of days. Five thirty. I didn't sleep until seven-thirty. I couldn't think straight. I was desperate for what he meant. ''It wasn't your wishful thinking''. Does he find me attractive? I go to the kitchen and make some coffee. I checked my phone while I waited for the coffee to be done. I had three messages from Stellen and 14 missing calls from Jean.

''14 calls jean really?''

I call her phone and put it on speaker. Her phone rings but she doesn't answer

*tsk

''Hey this is Jean I can't get to the phone right now please leave a message.''

My coffee is finished so I drink it and get dressed. I head out and walk around the park. It is rare for me to get fresh air. It gives me time to think about what I'm gonna do about Stellen. Should I text him? I get another text from him then soon after Jean calls me again. I answer the phone

''OH, SO NOW YOU WANNA THE PHONE!''

''I'm sorry I just woke up and decided to take a walk. I called you back.''

''Yea 14 missed calls later… Shi yang why have you been avoiding Stellen? He's been trying to get in contact with you''

''Huh-uh, it's hard to explain.''

I give her the details of what happened.

''Wow you had your first kiss, how was that for you. I wish I was out there with you this would be so much earlier.''

''It is. I don't know if I liked it but I was a little scared. I wish you were here too.''

I look at the text messages from Stellen. I decided that I should text him so I hung up and read Stellens text messages.

''Good morning Shi yang do you wanna go out for breakfast?''

''I'm sorry about how I left yesterday.''

''Can we meet up and talk?''

I responded back

''I would love to meet up but how about lunch. I also have somethings I would like to discuss with you.''

Not long after I sent the text message he texted me back and I opened the text message.

''Yea ok lunch is fine. I'm looking for to meeting with you again...''