Truths

Mayson stared out the window into the garden. He wanted to go outside. He wanted to feel the sun against his face and breathe fresh summer air. For the moment he was alone with his thoughts, though Jonathan wasn't far. Mayson sighed. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to tell these police officers what had transpired between Lucius and himself. He didn't want Jonathan to know, let alone strangers. Jonathan told him these two were friends of his, they could be trusted. He was scared nonetheless.

Jonathan came in alone leaving the door open a fraction. Mayson looked nervously at the door.

"Hey, they're here." Jonathan took both his hands in his larger ones and kissed his knuckles. "I'll be here the whole time, okay?" Mayson chewed his lower lip and looked away, not speaking. "Unless you don't want me to be?" He left the question open, hoping he hid the hurt he felt from his voice. This isn't about you.

Mayson shook his head. "To be honest, Jonathan, I don't want you to know the things he's done to me...but...I can't do this without you here." Mayson looked at him showing him everything and hiding nothing.

"I'm scared, Jon. I don't want to be scared anymore. I've been scared my whole life...and I'm tired...I'm so tired."

Jonathan nodded. "I know. We'll both rest after this. You ready for this?"

"No. But let's get it done with."

Jonathan called to them by name and they slowly filed in. Mayson tried to calm his heartbeat by breathing slowly. He was glad he wasn't hooked up to the heart monitor anymore; no one else could hear its quickened pace.

"Mace, this is Mike Callahan and this is Gina Thomas. I've known them for years, you can trust to tell them whatever you need to."

Mason nodded and looked away. He didn't know where to begin. He didn't know how to begin. He took a couple of faltering, deep breaths trying to regain some balance of mind, something he hadn't had in so long he didn't know if he could gain it back. He looked at Jonathan as tears welled up in his eyes.

Jonathan nodded encouragingly and Mayson grabbed Jonathan's hand and squeezed, trying to reassure himself with Jonathan's solidity that he was actually there, that he was safe and that this was happening. He'd never spoken against Lucius before now and even though he wasn't there, he was terrified that he was going to find him again. The officers pulled up two chairs and sat down on the other side of the bed facing Jonathan. The three of them shared a look and it seemed as if Jonathan was wanting them to take it easy, that this one was much more fragile than he had been when they first helped him.

Gina was the first to speak, her voice was soft and light and airy, easy going on the ears and he was instantly pulled into her aura of calm. She was beautiful with dark red hair that flowed past her shoulders and dark, fierce green eyes that seem to make you freeze if you stared at them for too long. Her smile was kind and her voice was reassuring. When she spoke, she spoke gently as if she were afraid if she spoke too harshly he would shatter like crystal.

"I know that this might seem impossible for you to do, but what you're doing is the right thing. No one should be put through something like this. I want you to take your time, we don't have to do it all right now. We'll do this on your terms. You have full power here, if you want to stop, we'll stop. If it becomes too much, we'll stop. We're not going to sit here and pretend that this is easy for you when we know it's difficult, and we don't want to make your stay worse by trying to get you to divulge too much too quickly. How about we just start at the beginning, from when the two of you met and we'll take it from there. Anytime you want to stop we will, all you have to do is say so, okay, Mayson? With your permission, we'd like to record this session."

Mayson nodded squeezing Jonathan's hand just a little tighter for that much more reassurance. Jonathan squeezed back in reply and Mayson knew that he was there and that he'd help him with whatever came after this. As he thought about what to say his heart clenched tightly in his chest and he couldn't breathe as well as he could a moment ago.

"I met him a few months ago. Nine, now I guess. Jesus, it's really been 9 months...anyway we met at the grocery store. He helped me get something that was on the top shelf that I couldn't reach. I've always been a bit small...we really hit it off. He seemed like he was a really nice guy, you know?"

He looked to Gina's eyes for understanding. He found it. With his free hand, he played with the hem of the white sheet covering his legs, not looking directly at anything or anyone for too long. 

"I haven't met too many of those in my life. I thought that maybe he was different. He was at first, you know? He was sweet and he made me laugh, and he really seemed to care. Then maybe about a month-and-a-half in Jonathan came back from out of town and I wanted them to meet. I could tell that Jonathan didn't like him at all and I could also tell that Lucius didn't like Jonathan either...so came that one day I wanted to go over to Jonathan's house alone.

"He was having a really bad day that day and told me that he needed me, and since we were seventeen, whenever one has needed the other we were always there for each other. So I told Lucius that I was going over there and he freaked out. He said that I was going to fuck him, said that I was cheating. He called me worthless and then for the first time he hit me. He slapped me in the face with the back of his hand.

"He hit me hard. Hard enough to pop my neck at the snap. He looked at me with fire in his eyes and it scared me. I've never seen that kind of hatred in somebody's eyes before. This wasn't the first time I'd been hit, mind you, but he'd always said that he wasn't that type of person. I told him a little bit about my past...not many details but just enough for him to know why I was so jumpy all the time. He didn't really need to know a whole lot, I didn't think that it had been enough time. I mean I've known Jonathan for twelve years and I haven't even told him everything...anyway, I digress."

Mayson paused in his babbling and took another deep breath. He knew he was babbling but he figured he should just keep himself talking before he faltered and shut up completely. Gina took notice of this and told him gently that he was doing just fine and then she asked him what happened then.

Mayson squeezed Jonathan's hand again as his heart rate sped up once more. He looked over at Jonathan who gave him a small smile that didn't reach his eyes but reassured him nonetheless.

"I knew that Jonny didn't believe me when I told him I couldn't come by because I didn't feel good. He asked if I was alright. I said yes. Lucius was standing there watching.

"Once he hit me the first time... everything changed. He didn't do the profuse apologizing, and the sorrow for hurting me thing." He took a deep breath. "After that, the dynamics of our relationship took a sharp curve. He was completely dominant of me. I had to ask permission to pee, even. Sometimes I couldn't even do that. He made sure I knew he was boss. That...that I was nothing but a toy...I wasn't allowed to deny him anything. Not even...not even my body. If I defied him, he beat me...and then he'd take what he wanted. Eventually, I just...took it. I slipped back to the role I had as a child."

He looked to Jonathan. "I didn't know what else to do."

Jonathan nodded and smiled best he could. His heart broke at the look in Mayson's eyes. At that moment Jonathan wanted to hold him until that look faded to one of happiness, security, and without fear. He leaned down and kissed his temple gently.

"It's okay now," he whispered against his hair.

For the first time the male officer, Calahann, Mayson remembered, spoke. His tone was raspy, deep, yet soft while addressing him.

"Why don't you skip to the day you were able to run away to Jonathan's place. We can work out the smaller details later, and please forgive how that sounds. I'm not attempting to belittle any experience you had with him, but we can work those incidents into the larger scaled events after we've talked to the District Attorney."

Mayson nodded and took a deep breath.

"When he got home that night he was already pissed off. I stood up 'cause I was supposed to, and he didn't say anything...he just...he just hit me. And he didn't stop. He just hit me and hit me and hit me. Once I was subdued, he um, pulled my pants down, and..." He stopped talking and screwed his eyes shut tightly in an attempt to block out all the memories rushing at him like a rampaging steam train.

"He took what he wanted from me...I woke sometime later, bleeding and alone. I knew I had to get out. Somehow I made it to Jonathan's. I think I ran." He paused and laughed humorlessly. "It's my fault I'm here. I was fine. I was safe. Lucius is afraid of Jonathan. But I got scared and I ran away from him. I needed to think. I went to a park we used to hang out at. It...was always peaceful there. He found me..."

The scene played like a bad movie in his head and he could no longer hold back the tears as they flowed of their own volition.

Mayson sat in the middle swing, his arms loosely wrapped around the chains. He was lost in thought, deep inside his head, and didn't hear the footsteps coming up behind him.

The crushing weight of fingers circled his neck in a bruising fashion, causing him to gasp as he came back to reality.

Lucius's icy voice sent tendrils of cold fusion fear through his body that made his blood curdle and freeze at once.

"Did I give you permission to get up off the floor and run away while my back was turned, you pathetic little whore?"

He was paralyzed completely, his whole body utterly rigid.

"Get the fuck up slowly, turn around, walk to the car, and get the fuck in it. Now."

He did as he was told all the while trying to figure out how to survive this. The car ride back to the house was made in a mixture of tense rage and blinding fear. Much as he tried, Mayson couldn't nix the quaking throughout his body. When they pulled into the driveway Mayson obediently climbed the stairs to the porch and waited for the front door to be unlocked. When the door opened Lucius roughly pushed him in by the base of his neck and he fell to the floor; instantly he curled up, preparing for what he knew was coming.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

Lucius demanded as soon as the door was shut and locked behind him. Mayson didn't answer, then suddenly all air was driven from his lungs as a foot connected to his diaphragm. Before he could catch his breath he was hauled up by his hair and punched again in the abdomen. Mayson's vision swam from lack of oxygen and pain. Lucius's fist connected with various parts of his face as more and more blood filled his mouth.

"You were fucking that goddamn motherless son of a bitch, weren't you?!" He accused in a flood of red hazed anger. "You're mine, you got that? Mine. And I'm going to make you always fucking remember that."

Mayson was thrown against the back of the couch, doubling over it as he was put into position, his pants being yanked down, the fabric ripping at the violence.

He couldn't scream when Lucius slammed into him, too weak to do more than soft moans of protest as pain shot through his body. Lucius moaned in pleasure behind him, grabbing him, forcing him to harden in his hand. Mayson prayed he would kill him this time. He felt like he was close to succeeding. Lucius spilled his seed deep into his bowels, moaning loudly against his ear, his hair puffing with Lucius' quickened breath.

"I love it when you're too weak to fight me."

He laughed low and evil as Mayson tried to ignore the pain and the semen dripping down his legs.

"When I woke up again, I was here. I vaguely remember Jonathan showing up...but..." he shrugged. "I don't really remember what happened after that."

Mayson wiped his face and became silent. Jonathan tried to hide his rage behind a calm exterior.

Both officers nodded and stood. Officer Thomas spoke, her tone soft, yet devoid of any pity. Which surprised Mayson thoroughly.

"You did well, Mr. Alexander. We'll take this to the D.A. He might want to go over some more details of the events later, but I think we've got enough to hold him."

Mayson's head snapped up to meet her eyes, his green orbs wide with surprise.

"You mean he's in jail?"

Mike Callahan looked to Jonathan.

"You didn't tell him?"

Jonathan looked sheepish. "I didn't really have the opportunity. He's been asleep most of the time."

They said their farewells with a number to call if anything more was recalled. Soon they were alone and the silence was heavy.

"I'm sorry, Jonny," Mayson whispered refusing to meet his eyes. He felt ashamed. Used. Broken. With all the versisatudes he'd survived, he didn't know if he could survive this, too. Not alone.

"For what, Mace?" Jonathan settled a hand on Mayson's shoulder and kept it there when Mayson flinched at the contact. "I won't hurt you, love."

"I know." His voice was so broken, it was barely audible. The pain laced within them both made Jonathan want to hold him and never let go, and brutally murder any and everyone who's ever made this man before him be in any kind of pain. "I know! I'm sorry! I'm sorry..."

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm not bitching at you, love. But I won't stop reminding you...not until you don't need reminding anymore." Jonathan studied him and wanted to make all his pain go away, make him smile and laugh. And if for some reason there were tears, they wouldn't be tears of pain; but of joy and love.

"Jonathan, I wanna go home. Take me home?"

"Home?" He didn't dare to hope. He convinced himself Mayson didn't want him, didn't love him like he loved Mayson.

"With you? I...can't...I can't go back to that house, Jonny. Please." Mayson studied his hands and Jonathan studied him.

"You're always welcome with me, Mayson. You know I would never deny you."

Mayson nodded. "Take me away, Jonny. Can we go somewhere? Anywhere. Can we just get away for a week or two?"

"I'll take you anywhere you desire."

"A beach. Can we go to the beach?"

Jonathan smiled. "If that's where you want to go, love, I've got the perfect place."

"When can I leave?"

"I talked to the doctor while you were asleep a bit ago. He said if you can eat today and keep it down, you can leave by lunch tomorrow."

Mayson nodded and his eyes drooped. Jonathan gently kissed his temple.

"Sleep, Mace. I'll be right here when you wake up."