THE DAMSEL AND HER HOMEBOY

The moment Booboo concluded his ditty, most of the crowd had their jaws slackened, then ridicule filled their gazes right away.

"What the heck happened? Did he just versify his feelings for communicating with the cat?"

"That's not it," one man among the crowd voiced his opinion, his eyes showing the disrelish he had for Booboo's actions. "How can he expect a common cat to respond to that? Well, I guess he's too drunk to know that."

"Stop trying to socialize with the cat, schmuck! This test ain't a freaking get-together party."

"Yeah, this isn't fair," another fellow sneeringly yelled. "Show something better for us to shit on."

"Heh, just let him be, guys," one individual seemed rather casual about what was happening inside the cat ring. "In a way, it's good for us who bet against him."

As the seething crowd continually trashed him outwardly with words while inwardly feeling glad of the ongoing drama in the cat ring, Booboo waved his hand strangely as he said aloud, "All that is against me shall come to an end. Curse this cat that doesn't come to terms with me. Curse it so that it knows its clanger."

"Whoa, he's trying to curse the cat now?" one person among the audience sniggered. "Who does he think he is, an elementor?"

"He's such a chump."

"Haha, as if his curses are gonna scare the cat into submission!" some sections of the crowd hollered and dissolved into laughter, especially the ones around Burton, but he didn't feel the urge to join them in the cachinnation.

Howbeit, the very next moment, the cat dropped its belly to the ground and fell asleep as fast as a kitten.

Cries of surprise echoed in the hall.

`"HUH?" the precipitous action of the cat came as a complete shock to the audiences, forcing a few to reel. As Booboo dawdled toward the cat, their hearts could not tackle what their eyes showed them, for the cat didn't even jerk its ear, let alone move its body. It only meant one thing—that the cat was fast asleep.

The crowd cawed as if mimicking a murder of crows at work while Booboo pulled the headband from the cat and began to walk out of the cat ring. "This test was a breeze, hic," Booboo said and smiled as he took random steps in an attempt to come out of the ring, "but I liked it as it very much supports the saying 'the end justifies the means.' It was a pleasure playing this."

"Four months on the ship—and I haven't seen anyone win like this," one man among the audiences opined with a cloudy expression that gradually brightened. " I thought he was flogging a dead horse with his ditty, but how naive and wrong I was! I think we haven't been making full use of the opportunities we have to win this deck test."

"Hey, you!" the moment Booboo stepped out of the ring, someone approached him. It was Gonn. "Where did you get that ticket?"

"Where did I get the ticket?" Booboo didn't even cast a glance at him. "It just got into my pocket somehow. I, hic, should thank it for that. Thank you, ticket, wherever you are. Thank you."

Gonn placed his hand on the hilt of his sword, his eyes oozing what seemed like killing intent. "Do you know who I am?"

Booboo glanced at Gonn and stretched his lips into a smile before shoving the headband in Gonn's coat and then patted his shoulder twice. "You can keep it."

Gonn's face warped into a warthog as he immediately shut his mouth and turned away. Moments later, he began to vomit like a pregnant woman.

"What happened?" the crowd was utterly puzzled. "Why's that boy vomiting all of a sudden?"

"Did the daily bread get to his throat as well?"

"No, I think either the breath or the armpit of that drunkard did the deed."

"How sneaky." Many of the audience focused at Booboo, their eyes swollen with jealousy and contempt for all sorts of reasons. "We let his tipsiness belie his talent." If regret was a fruit, then its overly ripened image would have resembled their visages. Though one of the gestures was the cats falling asleep for any reason, no one still expected that such a rare gesture would be showed now of all times. Regardless, other than a couple of fellows, none bet on seeing a single gesture, so they made painful expressions. Only a few had the heart to let out dry smiles even after losing their money.

The referee, Jehez, however, smiled so hard that half of his yellowish teeth were exposed.

Meanwhile, Lirzod just got back to Sariyu with the baby crow in his hands.

"That was quick," Sariyu cast a glance at him, somewhat smiling with her eyes, "you barely took a minute or two."

"As nimble as the cat was, it ran into a corner and yowled as I approached it," Lirzod said and crowed with rapture. "All it took was a 'bow' to frighten that fool."

"You seem so satisfied for scaring just a cat that you are trying to relive that moment in your mind," Sariyu sighed, pleasantness escaping off her eyes at once. "Stop being a feckless entry, and show some responsibility!"

"Responsibility?" Lirzod blinked twice. "I didn't get you. Ah, did you perhaps think I would bring the cat back to you? My bad. I was—"

"Do I look like I'll pinch myself over a cat?" one of Sariyu's brows moved up and down, and her voice deepened to some degree.

Lirzod shook his head twice, a trace of glumness still left on his face.

"Listen," Sariyu pinched Lirzod's nose satisfactorily, "I don't give a damn about the cat, but I do give a damn or two about a heedless homeboy even if he failed to remember that it was his turn next to take the test."

Lirzod watched her, his mouth agape with fascination. "Oh yeah, you are super right. It's my time now." He tossed the baby crow at her, startling her. "Don't let that chick escape. I will make it sing 'Caw Caw' when I come back."

"Uh, w-wait," before she could speak, Lirzod excitedly left for the cat home. She didn't know what to do with the animal. She took a quick look at the baby crow and saw that there were no wounds on it other than the loss of some feathers; however, it still seemed to be in a state of shock and didn't move at all even though its eyes were open. "You almost got snacked on by a cat. That's what you get for pooping on people. Don't do it next time, yeah?"

The crow, however, didn't respond at all.

"It's either in too much of a shock from what had happened to listen to you now, or it's stoned just like its master," the long-nosed man, who was still standing beside Sariyu, opined. He then stepped a bit closer to her and uttered in a low voice, "Don't take my words in a negative way, but there's some strange odor floating around you, miss. It's very subtle unlike the obvious bad smell[1] coming from your friend, so I'm not sure if it's perfume lingering over or something else."

Sariyu gave him a fleeting glance before minding the baby crow again. "If you are uncomfortable, then don't stick around."

"No, no, miss, I'm not uncomfortable, but it's just that..." the long-nosed man didn't know what to say. He thought it would be the right choice to start a conversation with her relating to the odor, but now he surely realized that he shouldn't have brought up whatever he had.

"La-lee-la-lee-la," Booboo, on the other hand, walked over to his donkey, Heehaw, while making a tune with his mouth. After he took a sip from his wine bottle, he was about to get on the donkey. "At long last, I can get off the ground… wait," he touched the top of his hat. "Where's Caw?" he looked around for the crow, and his eyes took a tour throughout the assemblages of audiences and eventually settled on Sariyu. Following a transient grin, he wasted no time and came straight to her, "Which crook cribbed my Caw?" His words attracted many ears, including that of Sariyu. "Oh dear, to my pleasure, it's a damsel who has my bird. On second thought, I think this 'color' can keep it."

Realizing that Booboo was coming straight to her and was speaking to her, Sariyu turned to face him. "What's your problem, mister?"

"My problem? It no longer is mine, hic," Booboo looked at the donkey. "You said you wanted something from this damsel, didn't you? What was that all about?" he paused for a moment as though he was visually communicating with the donkey. "Oh... yeah. I agree. She smells sweet and special. Them maidens all do,��� he said and then looked at Sariyu. "Nothing much, miss. Heehaw seems to be interested in seeing your twin peaks, that's all. Can he see them?"

Silence took over the hall for a moment as Booboo's words sunk into people's minds.

Sariyu's brows made a fine line as her frigid look sent wintry winds at Booboo.

Burton, who was standing about ten meters away from her, narrowed his eyes, focusing his stare at Booboo, but before he could step forward, the long-nosed man interfered.

"Mind your tongue, you jackass!" the long-nosed man howled at Booboo. "Apologize to her right now, or I swear on your mommy that I'll make you cry for your daddy."

"Hic, did I ask for too much?" Booboo briefly shut his mouth and pointed his red fan toward the donkey. "Heehaw's tongue must have slipped, and it was this ass' instinct that caused everything. She doesn't know that every woman can't wear a drape that defines her twin peaks." He shut the donkey's mouth before looking at Sariyu, "I apologize in her stead, ma'am. But I must say, quintessential damsels like you are proof that there must be a God in heaven. And it makes me wonder, hic, if I can ever be like him on earth, then my nights would get lovely, to say the least."

Hearing a strange apology, Sariyu no longer bothered to look at him anymore and handed the baby crow to the long-nosed man, who also seemed to have calmed down to some degree.

As for Burton, he still had his glacial gaze on Booboo, but when Sariyu glanced at him and subtly shook her head, he looked away in discontentment. (Tsk, I would love to teach that crook a thing or two, but there's no lightning cure for lunacy. However, there are many ways to vitiate their character. Mind raiding, for one, will work.) He felt the urge to act, but as Sariyu was still glancing in his direction, he took a breath and released it quickly, thereby shrinking his frame.

The long-nosed man approached Booboo with his nose closed and then gave the baby crow to him before speaking in a cold and hushed voice, "I'll sneeze on your face if I see you again, understood?"

"Quiet and obscure," Booboo replied with a frightened face.

"Hmph, leave without speaking another word, unless you want me to clean my nose on you." Saying that he turned and walked back to Sariyu.

Booboo placed the crow on top of his hat, then climbed the donkey and held the fishing rod. "Okay, hic, now I'm asking for myself. " He smiled as he made eye contact with Sariyu, "Can you be the highlight of my night for tonight?"

Sariyu stood still, but her stare subtly stung Booboo more so than before.

"This guy..." the crowd could only marvel at how glazed his guts would be here and now.

"He's too drunk to know how to behave with a woman," the long-nosed man shouted, "someone, escort these two donkeys away."

"We'll help you with that." A group of three guys in their undies came forward, snickering their way through the crowd. "A drunkard isn't worth discussing over. Just leave him to us. We'll send him to the land of sots."

"The land of sots… It must be a land that lacks temperance—I'd love to breathe in such gin-soaked climes," Booboo responded in a zestful fashion as his attention shifted to the three men, "maybe, hic, my hiccuping will then come to a halt."

"Of course, you can begin or end whatever you want once you get there, brother," the three of them showed Booboo directions as they exchanged wry smiles with each other.

"Many have tried, hic, but all have failed," Booboo said in a depressed tone, "to cure the hiccup problem I have. You three won't take pleasure in giving up on me, will you?"

"Of course, we won't," the three of them assuredly said, "that's not how we work."

Booboo now seemed much more willing to leave with those three, and as he did, he gave a flying kiss to Sariyu, which in his perspective served as a goodbye, but it utterly revolted her.

"Whoever he was," the long-nosed man maffled, rubbing his nose, "he makes my gorge rise."

Meanwhile, inside the cat home.

"How much longer are you going to keep staring at the cats, boy!" the assistant referee's face was filled with irritation. "Quick."

"I am quick. Can't you see?" Lirzod stressed his words as he replied likewise.

"Yeah, you are as quick as the dead!" the assistant's referee's words were like ghastly music to Lirzod's ears and very much tested his temperament for some reason.

Lirzod slowly glanced toward him, "Stop belittling the dead. You are going to join them one day, too."

"W-Well, you've got a point there," the assistant referee cleared his throat and then muttered under his breath, "but I was belittling you, you oaf."

"The quick and the dead may be poles apart," Lirzod uttered every word with care, "but each of them will mean nothing without the other. The Quick are quick because the Dead aren't and vice versa, right?"

"Yes, yes," the assistant referee lifted his arm in a 'who cares?' gesture, "but stop wasting my dearest time with your damn insight into some stupid shit."

"You think I like to waste my time here?" Lirzod furrowed his brows. "It stinks like sewage in here. And on top of that, it's so uncomfortable to be in a room full of cats."

"Then finish it quickly!"

"You needn't say that. I'm doing just that," Lirzod had been looking all around with sedulous attention, hoping to find the cat that previously took the baby crow away, but it proved almost impossible for him to recognize that particular cat out of the hundreds of cats which were doing their cat things at this time. Lirzod couldn't help but murmur to himself. "Where's that fool? My job would get a lot easier if I took that one into the ring."

"You do know that we don't postpone the test even if you have the ticket. Don't blame me later if Jehez decides to ignore you and move on to the next ticket," as the assistant referee warned Lirzod, he just noticed something. "What's that on your shoulder?"

"Nothing."

"No, I'm pretty sure there's something, something wet on your shoulder."

"It's a crow's gift."

"O-Oh, these damn crows can cause nuisance even on the ship. I wish I could shoot them down and sell them for good coin. By the way, tell me that you gifted the crow back with something good."

"I didn't, but I will. That aside, man, some of these cats look remarkably thin," Lirzod said, his voice pressing a bit, "you must be giving them a jejune diet."

"It can't be helped. When you cluster these many kitties in a room, not all get to eat their fill."

"The bossy cats rule the room, huh. Maybe that's true, but…" As Lirzod was looking around, he just saw a cat—with both of its front legs broken—struggling to reach the plate that had milk. He silently watched the cat for ten seconds, and the cat didn't move more than an inch because it was trying to slide forward. Lirzod walked up to the cat, squatted down, folded its legs, and slowly rolled it on the ground until it reached the bowl. The cat desperately drank until it drained the residual liquid off the plate and later licked the plate clean. "The milk was quite transparent." He glanced at the assistant referee. "How much water do you people mix?"

"Three to one," the assistant referee casually responded.

"You mean three parts water and one part milk," Lirzod looked up at his eyes attentively.

"No, three parts milk and one part water," the assistant referee leaked out a forced smile, "We don't adulterate the milk below that belt."

Lirzod's jaw tightened, and his gaze sharpened apace. It was too evident that the milk was exceedingly diluted by at least five times its amount using water, but what bothered Lirzod more was the fact that the assistant referee didn't even agree when he asked if three parts of water and one part of milk were being mixed. This blatant lying in the face made Lirzod frown. He looked down at the wounded cat, which was meowing at him. After pausing a moment, Lirzod took out the rat's tail from inside his pocket and put his hand forward. It took a few seconds for the cat to sniff its way to the rattail and eventually devour it in quite a many bites. Afterward, the cat continued sniffing his hand and even bit his sleeve, which made Lirzod smile. "You are desperate. I know that, but I'm out of food." However, just then, he noticed the tears in its eyes. Though he couldn't tell if it was crying or not, it uneased him, and he found it hard to breathe. He glanced at the assistant referee. "Can I choose this cat?"

The assistant referee raised his brows, for he was unsure if Lirzod was joking or not. "Of course, you can't take the wounded ones."

"Hmm, thought so," Lirzod bit his lower lip.

The assistant referee took a quick look at the entrance of the room before leaning toward Lirzod. "But if you can drop a silver in my pocket, I will let you choose an easy opponent."

Lirzod's ear jerked like that of a cat.

...

[1] Bad smell: Here, the long-nosed man was referring to smell coming from Lirzod, thanks to him having bathed in dried splurge not long ago.