Chapter 15

________________________

PREMONITION:

It is the inexplicably uneasy feeling you get when your soul warns you that something unpleasant is about to happen. But you ignore it anyway and continue to hope for the best. I experienced it in the past... before my parents divorced. This time, though, I hoped that it was different. And that fate would listen to the silent longing of a sincere heart that was once as cold as ice.

________________________

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hi! Good evening. Is this Fiona's number? This is Sandra, Cliff's aunt," said the voice from the other line.

My lips curved into a bright smile. Excitement rushed inside me. I was pretty sure that I would be able to talk to Cliff.

"Oh, Sandra! It's me, Fiona. How are you?" I asked.

"Oh, it's you, dear! I'm... I'm fine," she replied, laughing. I automatically sensed there was something wrong with the way she laughed. It sounded awkward.

"And h-how's Cliff? I-is he there with you?" I asked.

"My dear! He... He's... Uhm... He's here, l-lying on the bed," she answered.

I sensed the obvious hesitance in her voice, but I paid no further attention to it. I was probably just imagining things. The important thing was that I finally got to hear news about Cliff. I really missed him. And I badly wanted to talk to him again. So I could finally tell him all the things I wanted to say.

"Is he asleep? Uhm... Sandra, I-I was hoping... Well, can we wake him up? Please, I just wanna tell him... that I-I love him. That I miss him so much. A-and that I can't wait to be with him again."

There was silence for a while. I thought the call had ended. I was relieved when I heard aunt Sandra's heavy sigh on the other line.

"I-I'm sorry, dear... He... He won't wake up right now... and... and he... H-He might not be coming back either... Fiona, he... Cliff is, uhm," she cleared her throat then continued, "H-He's in a c-coma."

Bitterness was so apparent in her voice. I felt a sudden outburst of frustration.

"What? W-what do you mean? A-are you kidding? Please, Sandra, that's not a nice prank," I said, faking a laugh.

"N-no, dear. I'm not kidding. And it's not a prank. M-my nephew... He's... He's really in the hospital. For a week now. He's in a coma... al-almost lifeless," she said, weeping audibly.

That news was enough to shatter me. I felt my world falling apart, slow and painful. My hands trembled as worry ate me up inside. It was the same feeling I felt when I found out that my parents filed for divorce.

"It was a road accident on his way back there nine days ago. The weather forecast announced low visibility on highways due to fog and heavy rainfall. We tried to stop him...

...But he still went and drove his car. Said he needed to see you again. The next thing we knew, there was this accident. We didn't expect this," aunt Sandra explained in between sobs.

No words could ever lessen the agonizing anxiety I felt at that very moment. I longed to see him. I wanted to confirm with my own eyes the critical state he was now in. But most of all, I wanted it to be just a prank, a nightmare, a hallucination, or whatever it could be called, other than reality.

"W-Where is he? Which ho-hospital is it?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"St. Frances Cabrini, where his papá works. Right by Masonic Drive here in Alexandria," she said.

"T-Thank you, Sandra. I know where it is," I said.

As soon as the call ended, I frantically rushed to the bedroom. Once there, I switched on the light and looked for my medium-sized travel backpack in the closet.

With shaky hands and a frenzied heartbeat, I packed a couple of clothes, along with undies and some personal necessities. I just stuffed everything inside the backpack. My mind was not in a state to be properly organizing stuff.

After packing, I placed my backpack on the floor. Then I sat at the foot of the bed facing the window. I sighed. It was still heavily pouring outside. Lost in thoughts, I wearily crawled onto the bed and laid down on my side. Then I gazed into nothingness.

I decided that I would wait for the rain to subside, and then I would leave for Alexandria at the first sign of morning light. But then, before I knew it, my tired eyes closed and I fell into a deep sleep.

The warm sunlight was already creeping through the window blinds when I opened my eyes. And then I realized... I slept for hours! I hurriedly jumped out of the bed. Then I dashed to the bathroom for a quick shower. Afterward, I brushed my teeth and combed my hair in a frenzy.

Opening my closet, I grabbed the first shirt, jeans, and undies I saw and then changed into them. Once done, I pulled up my backpack and strapped it on my shoulder. Then I rushed downstairs.

I opened the door to leave, only to gasp at an abrupt halt. I almost crashed into David. He was about to press the buzzer. But he straightened up upon seeing me. Then his smile changed into a puzzled frown when he saw my backpack.

"Going somewhere?" David asked.

I briefly explained to him what happened to Cliff and that I needed to travel to Alexandria ASAP. His face showed concern as he listened. He nodded at every detail.

"Come, I'll take you there," he offered.

"What? David, no, I... I-it's okay. I'll just take a bus. Very kind of you to offer but I'll have to pass. I-I don't wanna bother you," I said, trying my best to politely decline.

"Fiona, Clifford is my friend, too. Besides, I have a car. I can take you there fast. And trust me, you're gonna need some friendly company at a time like this, whether you like it or not," he said.

I hated to admit it but he did have a point. And who was I to decline when I was obviously in a hurry? So I breathed in deeply, and then I nodded to let him know that I had accepted his offer. He smiled, turned around, and led me to his car.

"Alright, fasten your seatbelt. It's going to be a slightly longer drive. Just sit back and relax," he said as he started the car engine.

St. Frances Cabrini Hospital.

The day had become gloomy by the time we arrived. Dark, heavy rain clouds formed up ahead. The sky was as ominous and restless as my emotions. An impending storm was about to strike down again.

The fast beating of my heart sounded like a roaring drum in my ears. It was maddeningly deafening. I could hardly think straight as David led me to the nurse's station.

We were about to inquire about Cliff's room number when a hand touched my shoulder and gave a light squeeze. I turned and saw Caitlyn all teary-eyed as she looked at me. I immediately reached out and hugged her. An uncontrollable sob came out of my mouth. We stayed like that for almost a minute, seeking comfort in each other's arms.

"This is David, by the way," I said to Caitlyn, introducing my companion. "He's a friend of mine. And Cliff's, too."

"Hi," David greeted, extending a hand. "How is he?"

Caitlyn held his hand for a firm handshake. Then she nodded and smiled at him.

"He was in the ICU and we couldn't get near him. But the doctor advised moving him to a private room. So we did. Come, dear, I'll take you to him," she whispered. Her voice was hoarse and weary.

My footsteps were heavy as we headed for the room where they moved Cliff. By the time we were almost there, we saw nurses and two doctors rushing into the room. My eyes widened in shock.

"W-what's happening?" I whispered absentmindedly, feeling aghast at the thought that flashed into my mind.

Caitlyn immediately left my side and ran into the room. I found myself glued to the spot where I stood, my feet refusing to take a step. I was startled when David squeezed my arm, bringing me back to my senses.

"Fiona, are you okay?" he asked.

I stared blankly at him, unable to answer. He tugged at my hand and pulled me along as he walked.

"I'm sorry. It has become impossible to stop internal bleeding. He only has a few minutes left before another cardiac arrest," I heard the doctor say to Cliff's parents as we stepped into the god-forsaken room.

One by one, the nurses and doctors quietly walked out of the room. They left behind the defibrillator machine.

Cliff's dad, Gabriel, hugged his weeping wife. Aunt Sandra stood next to them with her downcast eyes. Her hands covered her mouth as she cried.

And then I saw Cliff, lying helpless and unmoving on the hospital bed. The cardiac monitor beside him showed very little sign of activity — a dire indication that his life was slowly fading away.

Standing a few feet away from the foot of the bed, I felt scared just staring at him. I could not find the strength to step closer to Cliff's almost lifeless form. So I turned my back and started to leave.

"Fiona," David called.

He hastily grabbed my arms from the back, stopping me before I could even reach the door.

"No!" I yelped, my sobs finally breaking out.

"Fiona, you must go to him... If it's for the last time, you need to talk to him," he said.

"No! I-I can't... I can't... I-I can't do it." I shook my head. My sobs went on. I felt helpless and utterly devastated. My heart terribly ached as tears clouded my vision.

"Fiona, dear… Please… He's... He's waiting for you," I heard Caitlyn say.

Our sad eyes met as I looked at her. She nodded slightly at me. Gabriel, looking distraught, raised a hand toward the direction of the bed. He motioned for me to go there.

David's hand went to my waist. Then with a tightened grip, he forcibly turned me around. And once again, I faced the harsh reality of Cliff's deplorable state. David gently pushed me forward until I stood frozen beside the hospital bed.

The moment I caught a glimpse of Cliff's face, my eyes instinctively shut tight with agonizing frustration. There he was... the man I had been longing to see again for days now. He looked as if he was just calmly sleeping, oblivious to the desolate people that now surrounded him.

I bit my quivering lower lip to stop myself from letting out a loud wail. My hands, as if they got a mind of their own, rose and stopped on Cliff's chest. And then I found myself finally breaking out as I felt his slow breathing beneath my palms.

"Cliff? How… How long are you gonna sleep there? Hey… Wake up… It's… It's me, Fiona… D-didn't we... Didn't we plan to go on a date... i-in Barcelona? Y-you promised... you'll show me the place where... where you grew up," I said, trying hard to control my sobs.

One of my hands moved to intertwine my fingers with his. My other hand slid to the side of his face and softly caressed his cheek. I bent down closer to him and rested my head on his chest. Then I stared at him with my tear-stricken face.

"Wake up, honey… I miss you… Please, wake up," I said in between sobs.

A few seconds later, I heard the thunderous beeping of the cardiac monitor. Cliff's family rushed to the side of the bed. Their sobs grew a bit louder. David ran out to call the doctor. I lifted my head and frantically cupped Cliff's face with my trembling hands.

"N-no... No, Cliff! Oh, no... Honey, stay with us," I whimpered as I raised my head helplessly from Cliff's chest. I wanted to cling to the last bit of hope even though there seemed none left.

"Cliff... My son, hold on... Don't slip away, please... Don't leave us this early, please, son," cried Caitlyn. She stood on the other side of the bed, caressing the hair of her dying child.

Panicked, I turned to face Gabriel and screamed at him, "You're a doctor! Do something! Please!"

"Fiona, dear..." I turned to aunt Sandra when I felt her hand on my shoulder. She sadly looked at me and shook her head.

Gabriel just bent his head down and covered his face with his hand. Then, with shaking shoulders, he mumbled, "Lo siento. Lo siento. No pude salvar a mi hijo. ¡Oh Dios! Me siento tan inútil. Lo siento mucho, hijo mío! (I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I couldn't save my son. Oh, god! I feel so useless. I'm so sorry, my son!)"

I turned my head to the edge of the bed the moment I heard the door opening. David came back in along with two doctors and three nurses. I automatically stepped aside to make way for the medical staff.

One of the doctors immediately ran a check on Cliff's pulse rate and pupils. The other tried to revive him using manual resuscitation at first. Seconds later, they used the defibrillator machine to try to jump-start Cliff's heart, but still to no avail.

The doctor who kept checking the vital signs sighed and sadly shook his head. Meanwhile, the other doctor resorted back to manual resuscitation. My heart sank and shattered into pieces as I watched them. I went back to Cliff's side and hugged his lifeless body.

"I need you… Please… I need you back… Oh, God! I love you so much," I cried. And then unable to take it anymore, I let out a loud, painful wail.

"¡Gabriel, nuestro hijo se ha ido (Gabriel, our son is gone)!" Caitlyn cried. Gabriel pulled her close to him and locked her in his tight embrace.

David gently pulled me away when the medical staff began to work on the bed again. They checked Cliff's body for the last time. Then the doctor announced the time of death. I dropped to my knees on the floor when they lifted the white blanket and covered him from head to toe. Cliff died — a bitter truth I tried so hard to deny.

Caitlyn dropped down to her knees in front of me. Then she pulled me close into a tight embrace. I cried my heart out to her. I felt her body shaking as she went on sobbing against my shoulder.

Words were scarce in the desolate room. There was only sadness as the sound of painful weeping echoed in every corner. And, from the bottom of my broken heart, I realized that this day would haunt me forever.