A woman's heart

Niaoniao POV

I was sitting outside the room in the garden, looking at his room door, completely immersed in my thoughts

Until Qian Yu came and sat next to me, he said: Shushin wondered if love was worth it, your love. So I decided to give it a try, wondering how it would turn out

"I want to walk around, do you want to come with me?"

He smiled and said: Of course

We were walking on the bridge, over the icy water, with lotus flowers floating on it. Until we came across Rang, who smiled at Qian Yu and bowed to him, then looked at me and smiled, and asked him: "Who is she? I think I saw you here yesterday too"

I was about to speak, but Qian Yu quickly interrupted me and said: "It is Shushin , my childhood friend."

Rang said: "Shushin? What a beautiful name! I brought a new tea. Would you like to try it?"

Qian Yu said excitedly: "Yes!" Then he was silent for a while: "Oh, I think I'm busy. You can go together. Then he winked at me and left."

I smiled shyly. I was actually very happy and I could barely stop myself from throwing myself into his embrace. Since I entered this body and became tangible, I have longed for a hug or a touch. I have longed for the tenderness that I have lost for years.

He looked at me and said: Let's go, follow me

I entered his room and was struck by a bout of deadly nostalgia. Was nostalgia always this deadly?

I was looking around with my eyes like crazy until his voice stopped me, calling me softly, and I never imagined that my name, which is not really my name, on his tongue would be so beautiful.

He said: Sit down, tea is ready

I sat next to him, as we used to sit, as we used to be

When he tried to pour me tea, I took it from him. Our hands accidentally touched. I thought I was melting and going crazy, but I didn't melt or go crazy. I'm still fine, but I'm not fine either. He looked at me shyly and then looked at me and said, "What's wrong?"

I said: I can pour the tea, no need for you to pour it for me

He said as he moved his hands away: Okay, if you insist

I poured tea into the cup for him, then I held the cup and kept moving it in circular motions until he said, "My wife used to do this." To be honest, I think I heard the sound of my heart breaking at that time, but I smiled and placed the cup in front of him.

"My mother taught me this," I said to end the matter.

"My mother-in-law taught my wife this too," he said with determination, with those competitive eyes that sparkled whenever I knew I was going to lose.

He's lying. I know he's lying, but why is he saying this nonsense? It's impossible for him to suspect. I said, "Actually my stepmother."

He laughed as he took a cup of tea to take a sip, then placed it on the table and said: "Her stepmother taught her."

My heart hurts, it hurts, it hurts, I want to get away and get closer, others will never know my pain, but I just smiled.

I thought I knew this man, but it seems I know nothing about him at all.

He is a man who looks at others with looks that look like lions and turns into a butterfly with me, but with his new wife he smiles, and with me, a completely strange girl, he smiles happily. I feel hurt, and I am hurt because I feel hurt because he is happy?

Well, here we go back to Qian Yu's question, is my love worth it? What an idiot I am. I think I'm just a loser. Love is a loss without a doubt. It's a loss and pain.

I was distracted and forgot who I was with, the source of my pain. But what woke me up was not the reality of the world that suddenly appeared before me. But how quickly did the cold in my bones turn to warmth? When I opened my eyes, he was hugging me. What is this, what is this, what is this?

Without realizing it, my tears fell like a waterfall, and I did not try to prevent the tsunami that occurred, because I lived a long time and did not cry.

He said, "Sorry, I remembered my wife. She said she would definitely come back one day. Maybe that's nonsense. She always liked to talk nonsense, but I would love to pretend that the blue roses and the sky and the sea and anything blue could be her, and you, you remind me of her."

He moved away from me but was still close enough to see my tears and wipe them away. "But you are already married," I said. "So how did you remember her?"

He said: "We are not really married. My beloved died two years ago."

I said hastily: "Why didn't you visit her even once?"

He looked puzzled, but it seemed as if he had won. I didn't want him to win today either. For once, I wanted to win against him. I said, "Qian Yu told me that you got married not long after your wife died, so I was surprised."

"My father forced me," he said, really walking away this time. "I had no choice."

"Oh, he's just a man. The great one in my heart is a man after all, while I am a woman."

My heart was starting to hurt, I knew it was time for Shushin to come to her body, and fortunately Tian Yang came, as if he knew that she had returned and came to welcome her, he really saved me, or saved her. I always knew that women's jealousy does not harm anyone else, but I think I am jealous because I am a woman. I am jealous because I am sad for myself and what I have done myself to. I have not achieved anything, and even the only person I loved, despite my intense love for him, I feel as if I do not know him and I am in love with a stranger. I even wonder if I am right in my opinion of myself or if I have deceived myself. I do not remember a past that does not have him, and I do not dream of a future that does not have him. I want some woman to save me. Shushin, you read my heart, right? Show me that love is worth it, it's your turn