Steel Heart, Is that Love I feel?

"Is there anyone you'd say you love?" Dr. Singh asked with calmness.

"Love is too much of a luxury, it's sinked me before, I don't think it's the wisest ship I'd want to be stuck in this time." Charlotte replied with utter stillness that didn't seem forced.

"Is there one person you'd say you hate a little less than most people?" Dr. Singh asked as he sought to get into her headspace.

"Errmmm.. yeah. There's one, but what use it it anyway?" Charlotte replied.

"Why do we love Charlotte?"

"Because we are foolishly seeking compensation for our broken lives in the arms of someone else?" Charlotte asked philosophically in response.

"Maybe we aren't foolish to do that. Maybe we are courageous enough to know that there are some waters of the world we can't tour alone." Dr. Singh replied.

For the first time ever since their sessions together, he was doing his job as her therapist and not some overly excited fan, or maybe he'd gotten used to her presence and the thrill was much slimmer.

"Doesn't it hurt to love?" Charlotte asked in curiousity.

"It does. A lot more than we think. It's an experience. Every experience does."

"Is it ever worth it?" Charlotte asked again.

"Of the few things in life worth anything at all, love is worth it. How else do we sacrifice our nights and surrender our intellects to the crippling, giggling flow of feelings we can't name?" Dr. Singh replied.

"Surrender, uhn?" Charlotte asked with a bit of a scoff behind her words.

"Why are you here today? A part of you loves yourself enough to seek help, a part of you wants to see you better, not just for yourself, but for your orbit, and that mostly includes those who either love us or those we love in return." Dr. Singh commented.

Charlotte hated how this made her feel. She wasn't here just because she wanted to, she was really here because Liam had cared enough to push her through it. Was she in love, too?

"I'm sorry, can we end this session now? I have to be somewhere." Charlotte said as she clumsily packed her bag and looked intently at Dr. Singh through her phone screen where they'd been having this session.

"Yeah, we can. Remember, tell it how you see it. Cowards aren't those who lose to their love, cowards are those who win the fight of silence while their hearts hurt." Dr. Singh said as he waved her bye.

Charlotte might have had her defences up for as long as ever, but her mind was on a teenage spree of wild empowerment. She was going to get her man!

"Hey!" Charlotte said as she beckoned to the lady who stood outside of her luxurious bus where she'd been alone to prep for her photoshoot.

"Yes, ma'am?" Tell the director that I have to leave now… I'm sorry. I have a flight to catch and it's worth it." Charlotte uttered these words out of breath that it had the lady attendant stunned as she'd never seen Charlotte like this before.

"Christopher, giddy up! Get me to the airport now, and as fast as you can." Charlotte said with impulsive happiness into the mic that served as the communication channel between the driver and her.

Christopher started the bus and with no questions asked, he drove.

Charlotte burst into ecstatic smiles every minute she remembered Dr. Singh's words and imagined Liam's smile which had replicated itself in her memory.

Was she crazy to do this? She was canceling all of her plans to go to the workplace's Spring Retreat for a 'maybe-love'? She'd never thought she could make this kind of spontaneous decision and feel this good about it.

"So, Liam, Dr. Singh feels I love you… and uhm, I don't know…" Charlotte said to herself as she went over what she was going to say to Liam's face.

"Fuck! Charlotte, no. This feels forced..more spontaneity and more humanity." Charlotte said to herself with humourous frustration as she tried to perfect her words and facial expressions.

"Ma, we're at the airport already, and the press isn't here, should I…?" Christopher said before he was interrupted by Charlotte who opened up the door by herself, and went over to the side with her facemask on as she wanted to avoid being recognised.

*Wish me luck, Chris!" Charlotte said as she walked away with a lean smile and headed to the building that stood in front of her.

Since when does Charlotte need or seek luck?

"What? Was she on something?" Christopher thought to himself with a chuckle as he was shocked at her delight.

"He'd probably read my mind on sight or I'll just wrap my arms around him and confess it to him. Remember, tell it how you feel it." Charlotte mumbled to herself as she neared the boarding lounge.