chapter six: Bad Feelings.

Sofia's POV.

It was raining by the time I left the hotel. The heavy rain and thunderstorms, hitting violently on the zinc, making me shiver as I stood in front of the hotel to take a taxi home.

The last time I experienced something like this, was the day my mother was murdered. 

I sigh in frustration at the thought of it.

I just couldn't let go of this stupid instinct that kept bugging me all the time. 

Luckily I found a taxi that was able to carry me home.

When I reach the entrance of the house, my legs feel numb for reasons I couldn't explain. I had to make them walk. 

I took cautious steps as I walked through the hallway. I didn't just want to believe my instincts, but the moment I saw blood droplets on the floor, I closed my eyes tightly and hit my cheeks twice, not wanting to believe the thoughts forming in my head. I inhaled deeply and tiptoed in front of the door. It felt like the world stopped moving.  I stood in a daze at the sight in front of me. There was no strength left for me to shout. I felt like my mouth was sealed and something was beating terribly on me. I was feeling the pains deep down in my heart but I couldn't cry. When I thought everything was over and then it happened again to my friend, my sister Rochelle, the one who harbored me in Alabama when I was lost. She took me in and treated me like a sister and out of a sudden, she was gone. Lying naked on the floor of our apartment with no clothes on, no internal organs, no head. She was operated like a chicken!. "Could someone tell me what in the world is happening to me? I keep losing everyone that I love. Who is after me? Show yourself!. Why do you keep getting at them and not me? what crime did they commit other than to love me?". I slumped to the floor with a heavy heart when no one replied. Who was I expecting to reply to me? I could not stay here anymore. 

I closed my eyes tightly in order not to see the dead bodies in front of me, but my worst imagination came to reality when I tripped and felt one of them and my hands when directly inside the abdomen of the disfigured body in front of me. "Fuck!" I cursed trying to get up only for me to see a white piece of paper underneath Rochelle's body. I struggled to get hold of the paper, when I brought it close, I felt the blood in my body drain and the tears I have been holding started rolling down my cheeks, as I stared at the paper blankly. "I will come back for you".

These same words I found underneath my mother's corpse. "What on earth is happening? Who is trying so hard to find me, while not coming to get me and leave the people I love out of the equation". I shouted in the room, hoping this blood-sucking murderer is somewhere close, waiting to get me, but no one showed up. This was probably my fate.

******

It's been a week since I left Rochelle's apartment. I had to move to my own house since I had made enough to accommodate myself. She was supposed to be the one to come see me off as we planned but it's rather unfortunate that she didn't leave to see this day. I have been unable to sleep for the past few days. The horrible images of my mother and hers keep coming to my mind. At times, I will spend the whole night crying and when I wake up the next day, I will find dark circles under my eyes. My life is a mess. It's not worth living. 

I just woke up from one of my uncomfortable sleeps this morning and was about to go to the bathroom when I heard a knock on my door.

I climbed down from the bed and ran to my closet, took a knife, and hid it behind my back as I swung the door open. Yes, you can call me crazy, but I have no choice, I'm not safe anywhere and the earlier I start to protect myself, the better for me.

"Good mo ..." before he could finish his words, I lifted the knife, he hissed in pain, and the box he was holding fell to the floor. That's when I noticed that I cut his arm. 

"Why did you do that? I only came to do your delivery ". I looked at him unfazed .he wasn't expecting me to have pity right.  I ignored the blood dripping from his arm as I bent and grabbed the box from the floor. 

"I don't like men coming close to me. Any deliveries to make, send a lady".

He looked at me awkwardly with his other hand, holding the bleeding one, but I didn't care.

"A lady!" Well, I don't know if that was a question or not, but I ignored him still.

"Are you not going to do anything about the arm that you almost chopped off".

I was not staring at him to look at the expression on his face. "I should have chopped your dick off". I open the door behind me and walked inside not minding his reaction.  I didn't have the time to exchange words with him because that might only irritate me and then leave me doing something terrible. With everything being done, I made myself some lunch, packing it up in a tray, I brought it up to my room and placed it on the bed.

When I dipped my hand into the tray, I felt like Rochelle did the same because that's how we usually have our meals sometimes, when we were too lazy to sit at the dinner table.

"I don't see myself eating at the dining table this evening, so I'm bringing the food to bed".

" No problem, I like dinner in bed too, but one thing I hate is washing the bedspread when it gets dirty". She always chuckles when I  tell her that because I just hate washing them.

I didn't know how long I had been crying until I felt my chest all soaked up in tears. I instantly pushed the tray of food to the floor, not minding the mess it would cause. I curled my body into a ball and brought my knees closer to my chest and sobbed silently into my pillow. I just need to get away from all these painful memories.

I didn't know how much I had slept until the banging sound of my door woke me up.

"Good evening auntie Sofia". I smiled, rubbing off the sleep from my eyes when I heard the little but sharp voice of the little girl, who lives next door with her mother. She always knocks on my door.  Her mother has been trying to be friends with me, but I kept distancing myself away from them because I didn't just want to come home one day and meet disfigured dead bodies laying in front of my door with the written notes "I will come back for you", I might just end up killing myself as I tried to do before. 

I dragged myself lazily down the bed and strode to the door.  I felt somehow skeptical about this, but then I decided to call.

"Hello!" I pressed my ear to the door, but no one answered. "Hello, are you there?".

Still no answer, I sighed and turned on my heels to go back to the bed when I heard her voice again "yes aunty Sofia, I want to give you some chocolates" she offered and I just shook my head. Kids and chocolates.  I used to like them too. 

Before I could turn the doorknob to open it, it was forced open from outside, causing me to stumble backward and then my back colliding violently with the floor.  I lifted my head to see a masked man behind the little girl's mother with a knife against her throat. 

"Not again! " I muttered, trying to get up from the floor when I felt a cold metal steel come in contact with my forehead. 

"You don't mess with people around this area. I promised to get back to you after you hurt me this morning ". That's when it hit me, he is the delivery guy from this morning. How thoughtful of him to come back for revenge  " I only told you what I hate and you decided to come back? " I fought back and he looked at me with an evil smirk on his face. He dragged me up, with his gun still on my face and I was now standing face to face with him. "You see them" he motioned to the little girl and her mother who were now at the mercy of the person he came with and I gulped heavily. "If you don't act well, I will kill you and then kill them".

Should I be scared? no. I have seen more than enough to get me scared.  If he wants to play, then I'm ready. "What do you want?". I asked with my gaze fixed on him. He looked at me sinisterly and removed the gun from my head as he walked around me.

" I want you to suck my dick and then next I will ride on you". There was not an ounce of a joke in his tone. Everything reminded me of my horrible past. I was ready to play. After all, I have done this not only once, but countless times. And the last time I checked, I cut the throat and dick of the person who tried this. 

"Alright, let's make it quick". He looked at me with downcast eyes, maybe thinking I was going to retaliate.