Freedom Delivery System

On a relaxed afternoon outside the gates of Amaris, General Nasir was summoned to deal with a unique disturbance. Nasir had grown over the years, becoming a man of large stature with a long beard like his father's. As he walked to the gate, stroking his beard, he anticipated it might be some usual hooligans wanting to break in.

Upon reaching the gate, Nasir's orc sergeant approached him, expressing uncertainty about how to handle the situation. Nasir, continuing towards the gate with the sergeant in tow, replied, "The cases are simple, sergeant. If they carry weapons and disobey, kill them."

The sergeant clasped his hands and explained, "Well, those travelers don't carry weapons, and they insist on entering the kingdom."

Raising his eyebrows, Nasir asked, "What do they want?"

An obese merchant spotted Nasir approaching, pointed at him and asked the guards, "Is this your general?"

Nasir stood before him and inquired, "Who are you? And what do you want?"

The human merchant, displeased, replied, "Those buffoons won't let me inside; I keep telling them I'm a merchant connected to the orcs."

Nasir bent down, glared at the merchant, and said threateningly, "Any insult to my men is on me. I recommend you speak politely since you're on the moon's territory."

The merchant, now understanding, replied, "I understand, General. Can we please go in?"

Nasir, smirking, denied the request, saying, "No. Take your caravan and fuck off."

The merchant became furious and growled, "Since when did orcs allow filthy ghouls to give orders?"

Nasir looked at his orc sergeant and asked jokingly, "The orc masters always allowed that, right?"

The orc sergeant laughed, saying, "Ah yes, the ghouls have proven worthy of their authority."

Nasir laughed and said, "Thank you for the compliment, master orc." He looked at the merchant and said, "Seriously, fuck off. Humans aren't allowed in or near the kingdom."

The merchant became mad and snarled, "Do you know who I am, you filthy ghoul!?"

Nasir held his head firmly, bit off his ear, swallowed it, burped, and said, "Tell your people this is a warning and fuck off for good now. Unless you want to be a test dummy for the military sector."

The merchant screamed in pain, ran away, and yelled, "This isn't over; I will burn down this kingdom!"

Nasir looked at him, running away, and said, "Even his ear tasted like shit."

The next day.

The merchant returned with a larger armed group to protect him. This time, his approach was very much expected as V noticed his presence and learned about his misdemeanor. The gates were shut down, and both security sectors were on high alert. The forces of Amaris stood atop the walls, preparing to defend.

The merchant spearheaded his tiny army and shouted, "You shouldn't have disrespected me! You filthy moon creation!"

V and Nasir were atop the gate, watching the scene unfold. V stood at the edge and shouted, "Is a war necessary? You look like a generic goon whose sole purpose is to die while making us look cool."

The merchant lost his temper and shouted, "I had enough disrespect!!"

"And your legs had enough of carrying your fatass. Go home and do fat people activities!" V shouted.

Nasir looked at V and asked, "Like what?"

V looked at him, shrugged, and said, "Struggling to climb the stairs."

"Rain them with arrows!!" The merchant ordered his army.

Nasir crossed his arms and asked, "Shall we activate the freedom delivery system?"

"Nah, that's for invasions, not for a knockoff male version of Big Mom," V said.

Nasir pointed at the foes and said, "Well, you can't fire your energy at them. It would destroy our front yard. So, should we send our troops?"

V caught the falling arrows with his energy field, looked at Nasir, smirked, and said, "I can solo them." He redirected the arrows and launched them back at the brigade. He jumped down and bolted to the fat man. He snatched him from within his army, stood before them, and shouted, "I know you cunts are probably mercenaries, so I'll allow you to leave since your paycheck will die now."

The brigade mercenaries looked at each other, shrugged, and left casually. The merchant shook, grunted, and snarled, "Come back here right now!! I didn't pay you to leave me behind!" The mercenaries waved goodbye and walked away.

V pulled the merchant closer, slapped his bottom, and said menacingly, "Now, what shall I do with you?" The merchant gasped fearfully.

V smirked and said, "You know, my dear friend just married two fine women, and that just painfully reminded me of how lonely I am." He licked his cheek and asked, "What do you say, fat boy? Are you ready to get those plump cheeks stuffed?"

The merchant refused to become a man sex slave; he pulled out his knife and slit his throat open. V frowned at him, dropped him, walked away, and said, "He didn't wait for the punchline; I don't have any genitals."

The next day, at the gate.

Nasir was called again because a human didn't want to leave or enter. He arrived at the gate and saw his sergeant talking to a young man. He stood before him, placed his hands on his waist, and asked, "What does this man want?"

The young man looked at Nasir and said, "I came here to reclaim my father's corpse. I know he died here."

Nasir scratched his chin, hummed, realized what the man was talking about, and said, "Ohh! That fat fuck was your father."

The young man became angry; he took a deep breath and said, "Yes, that thick-boned man is my father… I came here to claim his remains."

Nasir held his shoulder, took him away, stopped after crossing a distance, and said, "Your father is no longer with us; you can pray to your sun goddess for him."

The young man glared at Nasir and snarled, "I know he's not with us!! I want his remains so we can bury him!"

Nasir cringed, rubbed his neck, and said, "I meant what I said literally. Your father is no longer here."

"Where is he then!?" The young man snarled.

Nasir smirked and said, "We ate him; his corpse was too fat to let it go to waste." He grabbed his shoulder and said, "If it makes you feel any better, his leg alone fed three families." Then left.

The young man froze; he had difficulty processing what Nasir had told him. He looked at him resentfully as he walked away and muttered angrily, "I swear by the sun and all its glory, I will kill you all and burn this kingdom to the ground!"

Two years later, at the gate.

A fierce human army approached Amaris without giving any warning or declaration of war. They were heavily armed and had many knights leading the charge. Rohan and V stood atop the gate, confused. Rohan looked at V and asked, "Are you sure this is the same man who came here two years ago? The one whose father got eaten by the ghouls?" V placed his hands on his waist and said, "I'm sure. The presence is the same, only more bitter." Rohan pouted and asked, "How can the rejection of a merchant's entry turn into a holy war between the sun and the moon?"

V looked at Rohan, furrowed his eyebrows, and said, "Have you heard of the First World War? It started because a guy stopped at the wrong building." Rohan hummed and said, "Good point." He stared at the approaching army and said, "Though, I don't think my involvement would be necessary here. The sun's servant hasn't emerged yet." V grabbed Rohan's shoulder, smiled, and said, "Actually, I brought you here so you can allow us to use the freedom delivery system."

Rohan walked away and said, "You have my blessings, General V. Notify General Nasir." He stopped, pointed at V, and said, "Don't forget! Outside the walls, Nasir is the one in charge. You'll only act at his commands." Then left. V turned to the army and stared at them.

Nasir soon arrived and stood beside V. He looked at him and said, "I just ran into Rohan. He told me about the invaders; can't believe a holy war started so soon." V held Nasir's shoulder and said, "Fear not, Nasir. Big Bobby will fight with us." Nasir looked at V in awe and asked, "The servant gave us permission!?" V smiled and said, "Yes."

He looked at him and said, "Oh. I forgot to mention, outside the walls, you're the commander of every soldier in this kingdom." Nasir became furious and snarled, "What!? Don't you think it would be better if you told me sooner!? I can't organize a proper army like this!"

V frowned at him and snarled, "Well, shit, Nasir. I don't remember being the one in charge of exterior security!! Maybe if you deployed scouts from the start instead of being busy with gambling, we wouldn't be surprised!"

Nasir tried to leave, but V grabbed his arm. He looked at him and said, "That means you're my commander too. What are my orders!?"

Nasir glared at him and shouted, "Protect the gate from any threat that comes near it or support the troops if possible!" Then he left in a hurry.

The invading army picked their position and constructed their camps. It was at a fair distance from the city but not too close to get them harmed by arrows. They set up flags of the sun's symbol and a large tent acting as a command center. V stared at them and muttered, "Hmm, not as reckless as his father." He sat on the wall's edge and kept watching.

Soon enough, an arrow was shot at V. He grabbed it, inspected it, and noticed a letter was attached to it. He threw the arrow away, opened the letter, and it read:

"The sun's faithful gathered on the battlefield to rid this pure world of the filth called the moon's faithful. There will be no surrender, no prisoners of war or peace. One group will live, and the other shall die a painful death.

-Louis the second, commander of the sun's faithful."

V placed the letter in his pocket, pulled out another blank paper, and wrote his response:

"The moon's faithful are generous enough to let you all walk away and forget this transgression ever happened. However, you fanatics can only sate your hearts with hatred and violence. If and when the sun's faithful dare to attack the holy kingdom of Amaris, I swear by the moon's grace, you'll have a defeat so horrible your lineages will be bullied and mocked till the end of time from the disgrace you've brought upon them.

-The moon's appointed guardian to her servant, Vahin, the destroyer."

V stood, wrapped his response to the arrow, created a great bow from energy, and fired an arrow near the sun's commander's feet. Louis picked up the arrow, unwrapped the letter, and read it. He smirked haughtily at V. In return, V smirked and flipped him off.

The next day, at dawn.

V hasn't moved ever since he sent the letter. His eyes were ever so vigilant to the invaders' movements and trickery. Louis watched him through a scope and was stunned to see the same man glaring directly at him, sending a clear message of certain death. He threw away his scope and shouted an order of preparation to his army. The battle was soon to begin.

The invaders prepared their lines and announced the start of the battle. V stood straight and prepared for it. Moments after, the invaders fired their first volley of arrows, only for V to encapsulate them with his energy and launch them back at the invaders. Louis saw V's otherworldly ability yet insisted his troops fire again. And again, their arrows were launched back at them.

Louis became furious and ordered his infantry to move in while the archers covered them. He sent a battering ram with them to knock down the gates. V raised his hand high and shouted, "Hold!! Don't activate it yet." V waited till the invaders were at a dangerous distance to the walls. He lowered his hand, pointed at the battlefield, and shouted, "Dwarves!! Activate the freedom delivery system!"

A defense system of delivering freedom it was. The wall's upper plates were mechanically pulled and placed aside. A row of 40mm Bofors cannons that had the picture of an obese, white American man wearing a confederate cap, riding a motorized Walmart cart emerged as the song 'America, Fuck yeah - by Team America' was played on full blast. The invaders were in awe at what they saw and froze in place.

Whether they froze or not, Big Bobby rained hundreds of shells upon the invaders and tore them apart. V laughed manically while spreading his arms to the sky. The fun didn't last long; the cannons malfunctioned, and the defense system was shut down. V froze in shock. He glared at Baldor and snarled, "You bald son of a bitch!! How can we call our defense weapon the freedom delivery system?" He started slapping the stone guardrail and shouted, "IF IT CAN'T DELIVER FUCKING FREEDOM!!!"

Baldor glared manically at V and snarled, "Maybe if you spent more on our defense weapons' budget, we wouldn't be in this mess!!" V slammed his head on the guardrail, cried in despair, and shouted, "I've let you down, Big Bobby!!"

"Vahin!" A voice called from the sky. "Vahin!!" A voice called from the sky again. V looked at the sky while his nose and eyes poured. The man who called him was Big Bobby, appearing in the sky above the clouds in all his sweaty, labored breathing, cheap cigarette-smelling glory.

V wiped his tears, smiled, and said, "Big Bobby?" Big Bobby raised his black aviator sunglasses, grinned at V as his quadruple chin pressed down on his collarbone and poorly maintained dark-yellow teeth glistened, and said, "Do not despair, Vahin! Delivering Freedom was never about the gun or the caliber. It's about the strong arms of the proud man who fights for this country, the best country in the fucking world, the united states of motherfucking America!"

He took a deep breath before he got a brain stroke, pointed down at the invaders, and said, "Now, send those freedom-hating sons of bitches to hell!!" Big Bobby's cloud popped after delivering his much-needed wisdom.

V sniffed and smiled, his spirit soaring higher than the debt of the USA. He jumped down like a superhero and stood proudly like a strong bull. V pulled out two flamethrowers and shouted, "By the power of political lobbying and superior human rights laws, I shall give you infidels a taste of freedom!" He marched forward and shot the flamethrowers indiscriminately. If it moved, it got burned. The battlefield soon turned into a mass barbeque event, and most arrows shot at V didn't have an effect. Luckily for them, V ran out of liquid fuel.

V threw away the flamethrowers and snarled, "I don't need guns! I'll send all to hell with my foot up your asses!" Before V inserted his foot anally into anyone, Amaris's troops started pouring out of the gate as Nasir spearheaded them. Nasir stood beside V and said, "You've done enough; protect the gate, V." V glared at him, walked away, and muttered, "Fucking freedom hater."

Nasir led the forces against the sun's army, and a bloody, grueling battle ensued. Heads flew, and blood fountains appeared all over the area. V took position atop the wall's guard rail to provide Nasir with cover and shot any archer with precise energy blasts. Indeed, it was divine protection.

Nasir noticed V's covering fire began to dwindle the number of archers, which allowed him to advance more boldly. He issued a new order to have the forces change into an arrowhead formation, as their goal was to barge into the command center and end the war quickly by capturing Louis.

The forces changed formation, with orcs covering the sides and ghouls as rear guards. The dwarves were gathered around Nasir to become the leading charge. They advanced quicker than anticipated, which was good, but on the other hand was suspicious. Nasir retreated into the formation's heart and began looking around to put his heart at ease, but that proved otherwise. Behind the command center was a noticeable wide path, big enough to bring in reinforcements quickly. Nasir knew now and then the cunning of Louis's planning.

Louis loaded a small mortar platform, lit the fuse, and the mortar shot upward. The ball exploded in the sky and let out a green smoke. It was a call for hidden reinforcements.

V looked at the scene, placed his hands on his waist, and said, "So, that's why they set up that launch pad…he's not as dumb as I thought." Without Nasir realizing what happened, three armies in more significant numbers than the original came rushing towards the battlefield.

V cupped his hands and shouted, "Nasir!! Fall back!! It's a trap!!" Nasir looked at V and shouted, "No!! The general is near. We can end it!!" V grunted in frustration and said, "You fucking dumbass! You'll get annihilated."

V knew Nasir wouldn't retreat no matter what, so he decided to send death from above. However, this was a more significant issue for him. He was under strict orders not to destroy the kingdom's front yard, and the power he needed to destroy the armies would surely reshape the land. But it was either losing his rank or letting his best friend die. That's a sacrifice he was willing to make.

V jumped high into the sky and stood on an energy disc. He aimed at the first army and saw another unaccounted guest. It was an army foreign to him. They all wore heavy-plated black and gold armor with wings on their helmets. Their horses were large and heavily armored. V looked at them with his sharp eyes and muttered, "Elves?"

Are the elves allies or foes? V never knew for sure, but he kept his hand aimed, nonetheless. The elven army broke into two groups; one intercepted the enemy army approaching, and the other positioned at the reinforcement path. V realized the elves came as allies, making things easier for him. He focused on supporting the second group of elves that blocked reinforcements from entering.

He lessened the output of his energy blasts to ones that wouldn't destroy the land and started raining down fire upon the reinforcement. Like the 40mm guns on the freedom delivery system, V's bombardments tore the reinforcements to shreds, cutting down the numbers the elves had to deal with.

After a brutal battle, the war concluded when Nasir breached the command center and captured Louis. It was a hard-won victory for the kingdom of Amaris.

V joined Nasir on the ground and met with the commander of the elven forces. The elven commander's armor hid his face so the two couldn't recognize who he was. At first glance, the commander was prominent and huge, standing about three meters tall with broad shoulders.

Nasir and V approached him, and the commander said in a muffled voice, "Pleased to meet you all, brothers." Nasir stared at him and asked, "Who are you?" V rubbed his chin and said, "He's an elf; I don't know which one."

The elven commander sheathed his large blade and said, "Has a servant truly emerged? Is he uniting the races?" "Yes, he's a man named Rohan," Nasir said.

"Can you please take me to him? I want to see him myself," The elven commander said. Nasir glanced at V; V shrugged and said, "He did save you from certain doom and allowed me to keep my job."

V looked at the commander and said, "Follow me alone."

Later, at the moon's council.

The council members were seated, a few smoking cigarettes while waiting for news about the war. Among those smokers were Rohan, Cormac, and Lief. Rohan took a heavy puff, kept it in, exhaled slowly and said, "Now, I see why Raju loved this stuff."

V and the elf commander entered the hall, standing before the council members. V approached Rohan and said, "The siege was broken, and their commander, Louis, was captured." Qasim stared at the commander suspiciously, as if he almost recognized him. Cormac took a puff, pointed at the elven commander and asked, "Who's the man in the elven armor?"

Rohan took a puff, crossed his legs, and said, "This is a daring move you made, Servant Slayer." Qasim stood and said, "I knew this man looked familiar!" He pointed at him and said, "This is the elven Emperor Bas!" Bas removed his helmet, exposing his identity. He had long white hair, a shaved face, and a sharp jaw, with bright brown eyes and a resting frowning face.

Bas approached Rohan, kneeled, and asked, "Will the moon not forgive me for what I have done?" Rohan leaned forward authoritatively, "Stand up, Emperor. A servant is only a pact keeper, never a king." Bas looked at him sadly and stood.

Rohan puffed and said, "As repulsive as Leth was, no one had the right to slay him." Bas became agitated and argued, "That man brought us shame!!" Rohan pointed at him and snarled, "You could've isolated him!!! He never broke the pact!!!"

"How!!? He was of noble blood; his degenerate followers were many!! Isolating him would've brought the downfall of our empire!" Bas argued. "It was the elves that wrote the clause against servants!! If you would've let go of your pride and selfishness, Leth would've been expelled!" Rohan shouted.

Their arguments took long, and both never wanted to yield. It was time for the highest power in the kingdom to step in and resolve it.

Behind Rohan's throne, a purple portal opened, and Manat emerged. Bas froze in fear and violently dropped to his knees. The others noticed what he saw and followed suit. Rohan looked at them and shouted, "What's wrong with all of you!? Stand up!"

Manat held Rohan's shoulder, "Now, now, Rohan. A servant shouldn't talk to the faithful like that." Rohan froze, slowly turned his head and looked at Manat while she smirked at him. He quickly dropped to his knees and kept his head down.

Manat stood beside Bas, shook his shoulder gently and said, "Stand up, Bas." Bas slowly stood and kept his head down. Manat looked at Rohan and said, "Rohan, look at his face." Rohan complied.

Manat held Bas close and asked, "Does this look like a man who enjoys killing my servants?" Rohan stared at Bas's face, ridden with guilt. He sighed and said softly, "No, goddess."

Manat looked at the rest and asked, "Qasim, Cormac, Lief, and Limuru. Does this look like a man who enjoys killing my servants?" They all looked and said, "No, goddess."

Manat pointed at them and said, "I command you all to forgive him, especially you, Rohan." "My will is yours, goddess. If you wish to forgive him, so will I," Rohan said. Manat looked at the council members. They all shook in fear and said, "Our wills are with the servant; as he forgave him by your command, so will we." Manat pointed at the empty council seat and said to Bas, "Go sit there, Emperor Bas." Bas complied.

Manat looked at them and said, "From now on, Emperor Bas will become a member of my council." She looked at Rohan and said, "Give him a task suitable for his expertise." Rohan stood, touched his heart and said, "It will be done, goddess."

Manat smiled at them and said, "If anyone even thinks of objecting to my will, a harsh punishment awaits them." Manat looked at Rohan and said, "That includes you, servant. Your punishment will be much more severe than the rest." Rohan shivered and said brokenly, "I understand, goddess."

Manat walked away and said, "Stay united, my beloveds, and my blessings will come in abundance." She opened a portal and entered it. After she left, the council gasped heavily and groaned in pain; some even whined.

Rohan dropped to his knees, coughed dryly and vomited blood. Bas covered his face and began crying loudly. V, who witnessed that scene, crossed his arms and muttered, "The carrot and the stick, classic move."

The End