Twelve.

November.

As winter rolled into the city and the sky began to darken at 4pm a feeling of dread settled within me. Like the coming of winter signified something harsher, a deeper meaning to the blizzards arising outside my window. There was a cold chill in the air as my feet touched the freezing marble floor of the kitchen, I shivered as I went about turning the heating up and throwing together some pancakes.

The quiet patter of feet on the tiles was familiar to me now, it had been a few weeks since Amelia had been living with me and I had gotten used the everyday routine we had going on around here.

"Morning Em" her voice was laced with sleep as I watch her rub her eyes, hair a nest on top of her head and pyjamas hanging scruffily around her. I watch in amusement over the rim of my coffee mug as she sets about throwing together her own mug.

"Mel I think I'm going to phone that therapy place" her eyes dart to me in shock at my words. She had been trying to force my brain around the idea of therapy since the incident at the hospital. She said I needed to heal, find the root of my problem and overcome it.

Problem was, I knew the root of my problem right? That much was obvious, how was I expected to overcome something so... big?

"I- November that's amazing to hear" her eyes gleam at me happily, I could see how proud she was that I was even considering therapy. After yesterday and the meeting with Alex and his strange friend Ace I had realised I really needed to speak to someone. Get out that anger and not let it consume me.

I had felt drained after my outburst, but after the comedown of panic and overwhelming fear that this Ace would become my worst nightmare and actually side with Logan, I had felt kind of, free.

A knock on the door sounded the apartment and I rolled my eyes before making my way towards it. Opening the door and shoving my hand out without paying attention, expecting it to be another delivery for Amelia and her online shopping addiction. Shock filled my body as a warm hand shook my own and an awkward clearing of a throat met my ears.

"Uh, morning to you too?" Alex's voice was full of amusement as I turned to stare at him, noticing the body of Ace stood next to him, I retreat back a few steps and shield my body from them both behind the heavy front door.

"Alex hi! What are you doing here?" Amelia saves me from my awkward encounter and I nervously scatter behind her, off to the direction of my bedroom as I hear her greet our visitors.

I quickly throw on some sweatpants and a large jumper, combing my fingers through my dark hair and rubbing my eyes to clear the sleep. I was acutely aware of the fact that I was making myself look more presentable for a friend and a stranger but I didn't wait around to dwell before I launched my way back towards the living room.

"November there you are! Ace wanted to come by and say something" Amelias face was flushed, as if she had been blushing and as I watch her eyes dart back to Ace I realise why. She was clearly interested in him, I watched the way her eyes drink him in and wonder how I hadn't noticed yesterday.

"Right, well, I think I did enough talking for myself yesterday so, I guess it's only fair I listen to you rant it out this time, yes?" I sit down across from him, an amused smile lighting my face. My emotions felt more in check, like I was fully in control of myself again. I had the guy Infront of me to thank for that I remind myself mentally to do so.

"Yes, well, I guess that makes sense" his tone was light and teasing as he spoke and I felt my head cock to the side in interest. "I wanted to apologise, for how I must've come across to you yesterday for you to act so upfront and Curt with me. I hadn't wanted it to go that way when I wanted to meet you, truthfully I was just curious. To see how I could help, make it right and fix his mistakes"

I was grateful for the way he had avoided using Logan's name, but everything else about his sentence set my body on fire. Not in a good way.

"You wanted too, fix his mistakes?" My teeth grit in anger as I stare him down once more. Seeming to see a reoccurrence in this feeling of anger becoming a part of me when this man was around. "You think what he did to me was a mistake? That's what you're calling it" I laugh humourlessly at him. His eyes blink slowly, head lowering towards his chest. I watch at guilt settles in.

"I- I hadn't quite meant that how it came out November" he pauses, frustratedly running a hand through his hair and I feel my eyes chasing the action greedily, eating up the way his muscle flexed and his hair messed up in the sexiest way possible.

"I don't think it was a mistake, I think he knew exactly what he was doing and he definitely knew what he wanted. In truth, I wanted to sugarcoat the situation for you, make you feel more comfortable. But it seems you have a way of making me trip over my words" his coy smile towards the end of his rant made me want to roll my eyes, so that was really what he was here for then?

"You wanted to come here to chat me up? Do you have brain damage?" My words came out of my mouth before I could stop them and I felt myself blush awkwardly at the blunt words I had thrown out. I felt Amelia cough awkwardly and excuse herself, Alex followed shortly after and I was sure it was because of a certain blonde haired girl glaring daggers at him until he did.

"No i- November look. You're a stunning girl I will not lie to you, my mother always taught me to give compliments when it's due. But that's not why I'm here. I just want to help you" his eyes were portraying the fear within his body and I was intrigued by it.

"What are you afraid of" I ask, cocking my head to the side and placing my hand on my chin. Resting it above my knee. He stared at me incredulously, like he couldn't understand why I would ask such a question. "Are you afraid of me?" I ask again, clarifying what I was truly asking.

"Of you? No. Never, I- I can just see your hurt November, I can understand it. I'm in A place of hurting myself and I just, I feel we could be of assistance to each other" if I wasn't interested in finding out his secrets before, I definitely was now. This man Infront of me was so put together that you could throw a stone at any part of him and he would never crumble.

His face was an impenetrable castle and here he was, telling me he was hurting too. I needed to know how he did it, how he survived. How he looked so normal, so casual.

"If you're here for sex you won't get it, it's a waste of your time" I tease lightly, feeling his gaze turn to confusion as he tried to decipher what was happening. I had been so cold to him, but he had warmed a part of my heart that I didn't know would ever work again.

Just a few days ago I felt like I was getting my emotions back, learning to control them. But sat Infront of this man, smiling lightly at me as he figures out that I was teasing, his jeans clinging to his legs and his top stretching over his muscles. I feel everything that I've been missing.

I feel hope.