Six.

six.

November.

It took 6 hours and 48 minutes for the topic of conversation in my small flat to become tense. The atmosphere changed as the question slipped past Asher's lips. The air turning cold and bitter, nipping at my skin and causing goosebumps to appear all over. A sign of the discomfort I felt as the words echoed my brain.

"So, what exactly happened with Alex at the hospital"

"I uh- I had just suffered a fall, I mean, I was- I was out of it you know? Meds and stuff" I stammered for a reply quickly, eyes catching Amelia's. We had completely forgotten about Alex. Amelia couldn't drive us to the hospital because she had been drinking the night she found me and an ambulance bill was definitely not something either of us needed, so she had called Alex. He was at the hospital with us.

I had freaked out, saw his face as it morphed into someone else's. Something triggering to my brain. His eyes, they were too brown, just like his.

I remember me freaking out, throwing up over the side of the bed. I screamed so loud the nurses heard it, I cried for so long that my brain felt like it would explode. My stomach contents ended up on the floor, laid for all to see.

Alex had told Asher.

Alex had told Asher.

My eyes must portray my inner freak-out as Amelia rests her hand on Asher's knee. Smiling softly at him.

"She was doped up on all sorts Ash, I've been right here with her the whole time. She just fell in the shower and they doped her up, it's all fine" Asher's eyes turned to mush before me, he seemed to melt into Amelias touch, I made a light note in my mind to inquire about that later. Right now I just wanted to sleep.

The day had been exhausting, we had watched movies and chatted and I could feel that Asher wanted to ask questions. Ask why I had removed my relationship status, something I had done during my lost week, when the days were a blur and all I felt was empty.

When I didn't care who I hurt, when I believed everyone should know what he had done to me.

My glass of wine tilted round and round in my hand as I remembered that week, the lowest point I had ever hit in my 20 years of existence. I was so, hollow. A shell.

"Guys I'm going to head off to bed okay?" Amelias eyes darted to me, she smiled softly and nodded. Asher's reaction however, was confusion.

November Sky never turned down an excuse to get wine drunk, 2 weeks ago November Sky would be ready to down bottles upon bottles and dance the night away in packed crowded clubs.

But November Sky now, she needed sleep.

"I-" he started to protest but seemed to second guess himself, he slated me a half smile and nodded too. "Sleep well Nova" his words were soft, light, almost understanding.

How would he understand? He would never understand.

I felt the anger seep through my again, it was irrational but I couldn't stop it. I wanted to snap, tell him he had no right to be so understanding, he didn't understand at all. He never would! He had it so easy, sauntering around, doing what he wanted with no repercussions. Just like he did.

I hadn't realised I was glued to my spot, glowering at Asher darkly, until Amelia clapped her hands together loudly and I snapped my eyes to meet her confused ones.

"Go sleep Ember, it's been a long week recovering" She looks at me pointedly, seeming to see through the anger, see that I was about to blow. I glowered at her too, then turned on my heel and stomped to my bedroom down the hall.

I screamed into my pillow until my throat was sore, I grabbed it with all my power and threw it at the window. Hands gripping my hair as I tug frustratedly.

I needed to shower.

Hopping into the shower I'm immediately pelted with boiling hot water, causing me to gasp and jump out quickly.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck" I turn down the temperature and grimace at the memories that flood through my brain. Had I really showered in that? My skin was on fire, burning almost. I look down at my body and grimace, red pelts littered my skin around my chest and I run my hand over it. Feeling the beginnings of scars.

I had fucked up real bad and I knew in that moment, that I wanted revenge and I wanted it now.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was the next morning that I found myself dressed in jeans, an oversized jumper that cut off at my waist and a cute pair of ankle boots I had bought last winter. My hair was in a bun, away from my face and I felt almost normal again.

Old November wouldn't be seen dead wearing a pair of boots from last winter, but knew November found them cute.

"Are those-"

"Yes Amelia, these are last winters boots, cute right?" I shove my foot out and pose quickly, grinning at her.

"You- I have no words. Honestly, I'm speechless" she pauses for dramatic effect. "What a fashion crime, you know you could be jailed for that!" The false shock in her voice makes me giggle and I watch as her eyes twinkle at me, she's happy and if she's happy, I'm happy too.

"You know, Ember, I can't help but feel some sense of pride when I look at you in this outfit" she clasps her hands under her chin as she leans on the counter, smiling playfully at me. "Who knew you could pull off homeless chic so well" her words take me back in time, to when I would outwardly judge people's outfits on campus. Gossip about who was wearing last years toss-outs and who looked homeless.

We called it homeless chic and I'd never been happier to here the words.

"Stop it, you're making me blush" I wave my hands over my cheeks dramatically. Before staring at her seriously. A thought popping into my mind, I can't believe I'd never thought of this! I needed to do it, I needed to do it now,

"Want to come get a haircut with me?" I watch as Amelia shoots of her chair and grabs a jacket, all it took was one sentence to get her to move so fast. I should remember that for the future.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆��. ───

"I- oh my god November" Amelias words came out in a soft gasp like voice, I touched my hair lightly and stared at myself in the mirror.

I, I couldn't believe I looked like this. I looked so.. different.

So untouched, so... new.

"I- I love it" I watched my reflection as large tears started to roll from my eyes. I could sense Amelia coming closer and then her arms pull round me, embracing me from the back of my chair.

"I am so, unbelievably proud of you November" her words are spoken into my ear lovingly. I hadn't felt so loved for a long time, the level of affection she was showing me made my heart beat steadily, a sense of happiness surrounding us as we both stare. Stare at our reflection.

Me, smiling, eyes twinkling. Tanned skin complimenting my new medium brown, shoulder length hair. I felt lighter. I looked lighter, my aura had changed and I felt hopeful again.

Amelia's eyes took me in, scanned my face as I scanned my own face. She watched me smile, she watched me soak it all. She watched, as I found myself once again.

Change isn't always bad, I remind myself.

Change can sometimes be uplifting.