35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

By the end of July, Marnie had joined the yoga club. Tasha had made a couple of appearances at the house and had promised to bring her grandmother the next time, and Kate was looking forward to dusting off her Russian now and then.

For Kate and Rick, the previous summer had originally been about establishing their relationship. The rest of that summer had been about building a family. Rick had longtime friends and acquaintances in the Hamptons; but until recently, Kate had only met a few people who might actually appear at their door for a visit. Through Alexis and her friends, she was now beginning to find little niches where she felt she belonged in her own right.

Jim's court schedule had changed, so he was there to visit on the same weekend as Ashley. Lucky Ashley would be spending time in close proximity to both of Alexis's protective male relatives. Castle was sure he could count on Stan to help with the intimidation, too, if he felt it necessary…or fun. But he had promised Kate he would be on his best behavior. And as difficult as that would be, he would try. He could always sic Jim on the boy. He remembered from personal experience that Jim had some serious intimidation skills.

Ashley's parents gave him three full days to visit the Castles. They insisted that, in order to have everything ready to move him to California for the following school year at Stanford, they needed him home by then. Ashley arrived on the first Sunday in August, and his parents planned to pick him up first thing on Thursday morning. Jim was already there and would return to the city on Monday night. Castle treated Ashley's family, Meagan, and his own family to dinner at a restaurant in town before Mr. and Mrs. Linden left their son in his care and went home. Once his parents had left, it was time to get the young man settled in his own space for the next few days.

"Come on, Ashley. I'll show you to your room," Castle offered.

"I can do that," Alexis responded quickly, and Castle knew it was partially in fear that he might embarrass her.

"I'm the host. A proper host shows his guest to his room."

"Then I'm coming with you," his daughter insisted.

"Of course," Castle answered innocently.

Ashley picked up his bag and followed Castle, Alexis trailing behind them on the staircase. Castle took him to the farthest room at the end of the hallway and opened the door. "This is your room," he said calmly, staring the boy down. The one at the top of the stairs down there? That's Alexis's room. Then he pointed again each time he repeated, "Your room. Alexis's room. Your room. Alexis's room. And if one of you happens to be in the other's room, the door will be open. Is that abundantly clear?"

"Daaaaaad! You're embarrassing me…and Ashley."

"I just want you both to understand…"

"You've made your point," his daughter answered, and she fixed a heated glare in his direction.

"And when I've been assured you both understand, I'll leave you alone."

"Understood, Sir," Ashley answered, pink dusting his cheeks.

"Then I'll leave you to get settled in." At that, Castle walked back downstairs, smirking and feeling rather proud of himself. He thought Jim would approve…might even be proud.

When the teenagers came back downstairs, Alexis was still miffed, and Ashley looked suitably cautious.

"Alexis, why don't you give Ashley the guided tour? And maybe make some plans as to what you'd like to do in the next few days," Castle suggested, trying to seem more cooperative now that his biggest point had been made.

Kate had been talking to her father in the kitchen while she made lemonade, but as soon as the young couple was out of earshot, she narrowed her eyes at Castle. "Alexis didn't look happy with you. What did you do?" she asked.

"I only established the boundaries between her room and his room. Made the point that any time they might both be in one or the other that the door should be open."

"And that's a perfectly reasonable thing for a father to do, Katie," her father interjected in Castle's defense.

"Hmmph. Depends on how he went about it," Kate answered. You do know that the first time she had a real date, he was planning to greet the boy at the door holding a severed head and wearing a blood spattered lab coat, right? Fortunately Martha intervened." When Jim grinned with a look of appreciation, it was obvious she was on the losing end of the conversation.

"Come on, Katie. Being hassled by your girlfriend's father is one of the rites of passage for a young man. Rick and I have both lived through it. Ashley will, too. He'll be a dad some day and get his chance for payback."

Looking at Jim, she said firmly, "I don't even want to guess what you did, but I have a pretty good idea of what Mr. Castle here was probably up to when he was Ashley's age."

"But, Katie, it's so much easier to be nice to your daughter's boyfriend later when you've already made your point with a heathy dose of intimidation," her father answered. Then, with a big grin, he added, "It worked on your husband."

Rolling her eyes, she answered, "I give up. I'll be out by the pool with Martha and Meagan. Lemonade's on the counter." She took a bottle of water from the fridge and took it with her as she went in search of sanity.

The pool was at the end of Ashley's guided tour, and Alexis seemed much more relaxed about bringing him to sit with the women in the family than about going back into the house.

"Dad's being an idiot," she reported to Kate as she sat down.

"Sorry about that, Ashley. And I'm afraid you can't count on my dad to be any better. I had boyfriends at the receiving end of that attorney face of his. The latest one being your father," she said to Alexis. "It worked on him, and he's forty."

Ashley chuckled.

"Why didn't I know that?" Alexis asked with a grin. "I thought they were getting along really well."

"Dad promised me he wouldn't embarrass your dad in front of you, so he saved up a few words and 'the look' and used it on him as you were walking out the door of the diner. He accepted Rick's business card and then tapped him on the chest with it while he said his 'few words'. Subtle, but deadly. Your father wasn't about to let you know, but Dad rattled him."

"So I may not be out of the woods yet?" Ashley asked, looking a bit nervous.

"They both like you, Ashley. Try to keep that in mind," Martha assured him, and Kate backed her up.

Later that night as they were getting ready for bed, Kate asked, "You know, what you did to Ashley this afternoon may not matter. You do realize they've already had ample opportunity to do exactly what you're afraid of. I'm sure a lot of the girls at her school already have."

"Don't mess with my mind like that. I know. I just don't want to think about it."

"Have you talked to her about…"

"It was awkward, but I did. Birth control…anything that seemed necessary…anything she wanted to know."

"Yet you're still proud of yourself for hassling Ashley?

"A little bit. Yeah. It's a father's prerogative…to protect his daughter. At least, if it's happening, it might not happen here.

"What happens if we have a boy? Do you just high five him for what he got away with when it's somebody else's daughter?"

"Kate…" He looked down for a moment. "I wasn't as bad as you think. I'm disappointed that you might believe that. I set some rules for myself, and I've never broken them. I haven't been a saint, but I've never… Did you ever think I tried to take advantage of you? I know there was a lot of innuendo, but…"

"No. I never thought that. But I don't have a context for anything else. You know what, though? I really can't see you ever doing that."

"And I haven't. I made my decisions on how I'd seen men treat my mother. They talked about that briefly, leaving Kate looking at her husband with even more respect than she had for him in the moments before. And then they were back to discussing Ashley.

"I'm just saying that, instead of trying to worry the poor kid to death, you might want to consider talking to him about what you want for your daughter and why you feel the way you do about it," she argued. "He seems to honestly care about her. If he sees your perspective…"

"I'll think about it."

"Good. If you just feel the need to act like a caveman, you can take it out on me," she said flirtatiously, and thoughts of Ashley and Alexis moved far to the back of his brain.

"Let's see what else we can come up with that doesn't overtax those ribs," he answered in kind.

xxxxx

The following morning, Alexis skipped yoga in favor of a walk on the beach with Ashley, and Jim and Rick were in the kitchen having coffee as the women worked out. Rick related to Jim part of his conversation with Kate the night before and asked his opinion. "I mean the kid has a father. He doesn't need 'the talk'."

"I don't know. She may have a point, Rick," Jim answered. "If a moment presents itself, maybe it isn't a bad idea. He wouldn't have heard your thoughts about Alexis from his father. And yours is a whole different family perspective than what he's grown up with. You had two unsuccessful marriages before you had a good one, and you might have something to say that he'd find worth hearing. They're still kids, and they may not make this long distant thing work, but if they do…" He shrugged.

"Guess I'll just play it by ear," he answered.

He left Ashley and Alexis alone most of the day, seeing them at meals and leaving them to enjoy the beach. That evening Kate convinced him to leave the teenagers to watch a couple of movies without a chaperone, she and Martha talking him into sitting on the back porch with them after Jim left to go back to Manhattan.

"You know they're probably in there making out," he grumbled.

They both tried to soothe his fatherly feathers. And after Martha went to bed, Kate distracted him with a little making out of their own.

The following morning Castle was looking out a back window when Ashley came downstairs, and the teenager met him there.

"That's quite a view, Mr. Castle," Ashley said with a smile, his eyes never leaving the view of the yoga club in the downward facing dog pose.

Castle chuckled. "You caught me." Trying to be objective, as Kate had asked, he looked over at Ashley; and this time saw the reasonable, responsible young man he had been glad his daughter had chosen. Not that he was happy she had chosen anybody at all; but if it had to happen, this kid really wasn't so bad. "You know what? I'm not sure I'm all that comfortable standing here with you while I'm staring at my wife's derriere. And I'm damned sure I'm not comfortable standing here with you while you're watching my daughter's. We usually have breakfast after they finish all this. What do you say we take a walk on the beach?" Seeing a wary look in Ashley's eyes, he smiled and assured him, "No intimidation tactics this time. Just a walk."

"Okay, if you're sure." With self-deprecating humor, Ashley added, "Cause you're a lot bigger than I am; and when you want to be intimidating, you're kind of scary."

"Good to know," Castle answered with a friendly grin. "Let's go."

As they passed by on their way to the beach, Castle saw Alexis watching them.

"Did you see that?" he asked the younger man playfully. "Alexis is afraid I'm going to do something to embarrass her again. She's probably fighting to keep herself from following us to be sure you're safe."

"Probably," Ashley admitted. He was beginning to look more relaxed and returned the smile.

They walked quietly until the house was almost out of sight, then Castle asked, "Can we talk man to man? With the understanding that anything I say about my family stays between us? And anything you want to keep between us, too, of course."

"Yes, Sir."

"I'd like to start from about forty years ago…because it might explain some of the rest. I assume you know that I never knew my father." Ashley nodded. "I don't even know who he is. If my mother knew, she never told me. Forty years ago that was completely unacceptable in most circles. He told Ashley about his absent father, the difficulties his mother endured because she had a child without the benefit of a marriage, about Kyra, her mother's disapproval of him, and of her leaving him.

"It all seemed to come back to the idea that my mother and I were an embarrassment…to her own family…to Kyra's wealthy, socially acceptable family. I thought I'd marry Kyra after we graduated, in spite of her mother; but then one day she said she needed space, and she left. By then I had money from my first book. After I moped around for a while, I started spending it…on parties… entertaining women…whatever I wanted. During that time, I met Alexis's mother. We had fun together, but it wasn't a serious relationship. Then she was pregnant."

"Does Alexis know?"

"Not because I told her. Her mother did, though…a few years ago." He paused thoughtfully for a moment before he continued. "I married her mother because I wasn't going to allow a child of mine to grow up without a father, and because I wasn't going to leave a woman in the position my mother had been in. Long story short, she was never much interested in family life, and, among other problems, she walked out on us. So my child had a father, but not a mother. I had no financial worries, but being a single parent is tough. I loved Alexis from the minute I saw her, and I wouldn't trade a minute of my time with my little girl, but it wasn't easy."

"She knows that, Mr. Castle, and she's really proud of you."

"I want Alexis to have a different kind of life. I'd like to see her break her family's cycle of life-altering choices made at the whim of fate. That's one of the reasons I'm so protective of her." Castle glanced at the young man beside him and saw that he had his full attention. "You're one of the wild cards in her life, Ashley. One that could make that difference. I'm not going to ask what you and my daughter have or haven't done. As much as I hate to admit it…and I can't even remotely begin to tell you how much I hate to admit it…it isn't my place to make that decision for her. If you have, I don't want to know. Most fathers want to think their daughters will be innocent until at least their thirties, and I'd rather be left in my little bubble of denial."

Ashley seemed to be checking Castle's facial expression before giving in and chuckling along with him.

"If you haven't, I'm asking that you wait at least until you know if this long-distance relationship will work out. I'm not asking if you've been with anybody else, either. It's none of my business as long as it doesn't affect my daughter."

"For what it's worth, we haven't."

"Thank you for that," Castle answered, looking relieved.

Ashley just nodded. Then he asked hesitantly, "What was it like…all the women?"

Castle looked over at him and tried to decide what to say. Deciding truth was best, he told him, "A lot of fun until I realized how empty it was. It's what I did when Kyra left…because empty was how I felt. It's what I did after each divorce…same reason…same result. So part of my reputation is earned, but most of it is publicity, used because it sold books and kept the attention on me and away from Alexis. A lot of the pictures on page six were women who needed publicity, too. I dropped them off after the party and went home to my child."

"But there are that many women out there who are willing to just…"

"There are."

"And you took advantage of that?"

"There's a fine line in this answer. I took advantage of the offer, but never of the woman." Seeing Ashley look confused, he explained. "Watching the way men treated my mother, I could see which ones she appreciated and which ones upset her. I didn't have a man around to tell me how I should behave, so I assessed why she seemed to have those reactions and set myself some rules. The biggest one being that you have to respect the woman. If she seems at all hesitant, there should be no pressure…you back off and let her continue to feel good about herself. If you don't, that's taking advantage of the woman. If the woman is fully aware of what she's doing and has no qualms about it…"

"That's taking advantage of the offer. I get it."

"That's what I want for my daughter. Your respect for all of her choices...the ones now and the others that will affect her future."

"I get that, too. And she has it."

"Then I'll trust you with her," Castle answered. "We should probably head back…and stay away from the windows so they don't catch us."

Ashley laughed along with him as they turned back toward home.

"Got any secrets you want to tell me on the way back?" Castle teased.

"I'm not old enough to have that many secrets yet," he answered, smiling. Then he looked serious. "The times my dad talked to me, he never said anything about respect or pressuring somebody. It was mostly variations of the birds and bees talk. What you said…it's something I'll remember."

"His life was different from mine. Different life, different perspective."

"It's not my business. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but you and Mrs. Castle…you seem happy together. Do you think it's going to work out this time? Alexis really wants it to. She was so afraid for her when she was shot."

"I think Kate and I are going to get old and gray together. I don't think I ever believed that in my other marriages."

"What makes the difference?"

"You have to be as invested in what's good for your partner as you are in what's good for you. And you have to take turns being the strong one when things are tough." He stopped and pointed. "Did you see that?" There were two dolphins leaping out of the water not too far from the shore, and they were shortly joined by a few others."

They enjoyed watching them play for a few minutes before resuming their walk, and from there the conversation was much lighter in nature. By the time they got back, the yoga club was breaking up, and Alexis came to meet them.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"It's fine," Ashley assured her. Then he held out his hand, and Castle shook it. "Thanks for the talk, Mr. Castle."

"Any time, Ashley," he answered with a smile. He then walked over to Kate, planted a firm kiss on her lips, and said quietly, "You're going to be so proud of me." Then he walked her back to the house.

"Do you want some help with your stuff," Ashley asked a confused Alexis.

"Sure," she answered. "What happened with Dad?"

"We talked…man to man. He spoke to me like he would to an adult…made me think about some things a man should consider. And he said he'll trust me with you."

"Wow."

"I know, right? He made me feel good about myself."

"He's good at that most of the time."

That afternoon Castle, Kate, and the younger couple went to the lighthouse; and Alexis gave her boyfriend the full tour, leaving the older couple to entertain themselves now and then. Castle finally had time to tell Kate about his conversation with Ashley; and she was indeed proud of him, praising him for handling it like a grown-up.

Alexis and Ashley spent most of the next day in town, shopping, having lunch there, and going to a movie. Later on, Castle talked to his mother and daughter. Alexis had wanted to go back to the loft for the week before Ashley left for college, and Martha agreed to go with her. She was ready to be back in Manhattan anyway. So Castle called Mr. linden and said he would see that Ashley got home on Thursday morning.

Before everyone went to bed that night, Meagan took Kate aside and told her she planned to work with her through Friday and take the next week off.

"You and Castle haven't had time alone since you've been well enough to enjoy it. You'll work out whether I'm here to push you or not, so I'm giving you time to enjoy each other the way you did last summer. You both deserve that. When Alexis comes back the week after next, I will, too."

"Meagan, you…"

"No argument. You two don't need a chaperone this week. It wouldn't hurt to check on my place anyway. I haven't been in it much lately. So, as of Friday afternoon, the fifth wheel is bowing out for the week. Just take advantage and enjoy it."

Castle walked into the room, and Meagan said, "I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow."

Kate relayed Meagan's intent to him, and he growled softly against the curve of her neck, "I have you all to myself for an entire week?"

"Yep. Whatever will we do?" she asked, batting her eyelashes pseudo-innocently.

"I'm sure we'll think of something," he answered with a suggestive smile. Then he kissed her, swept her up in his arms, and started toward the stairs. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him under his jaw.

xxxxx

Having the house to themselves and more freedom of activity than when they first arrived was a blessing. They hadn't realized how long it had been since they weren't surrounded by others. As much as they loved the others, there was freedom in having breakfast in the kitchen scantily clad, making love whenever, wherever, and as noisily as they pleased, walking on the beach alone again and talking about whatever came to mind.

On one of their walks near the end of the week, Kate was unusually quiet.

"What's going on in there?" Castle asked, kissing her head.

"A lot of things," she answered.

"Anything in particular standing out?"

"Going back to work."

"Is it bothering you? Are you having doubts about going back?"

"I don't think so, although I know I'm going to hate desk duty. The Wicked Witch of the West will be able to keep an eye on me all day every day. You know how well I'm likely to handle that."

"Good thing I'm rich so we can afford it if you get yourself fired."

She bumped his shoulder with hers and said, "Not funny."

"A little bit funny." He smirked at her and could see her fighting a smile of her own. "So what's really bothering you?"

"I have to see a shrink before I can even go back to desk duty. What if he finds out what a mess my head is in and won't let me go back?"

"Is there something going on in your head that I'm not aware of?"

She hesitated and started to speak a couple of times before she actually did. "Crowds and the thought of guns make me nervous. Not here so much. The job doesn't follow me here. It feels different here…safer."

"Is it enough to think it might affect the job when you're back in Manhattan?"

"I don't know. And that makes me nervous, too. Other people depend on me to be a hundred per cent in the field. I can't be what they need if I jump every time a stranger bumps my arm passing me on the sidewalk or panic every time I see a gun."

"Is it that bad?"

"I don't know yet. I haven't been out of the loft enough to be sure."

"We're going back to the city on Sunday so you're there for your next doctor's appointment on Monday. That one is in the morning. Why don't you make some phone calls tomorrow and see if you can make an appointment with somebody for the psych eval on Monday afternoon? If the doctor thinks your head needs a little more work, you'll know beforehand and have some time to address it."

"That's what I was thinking, too."

"Great minds and all that?"

"Yeah." She stretched up to kiss his cheek and they walked the rest of the way home in comfortable, loving silence.

xxxxx

After thoroughly enjoying their isolation for the rest of the week, they went back to the city on Sunday morning. They intended to get Kate back into the bustle of the city, planning to take Martha and Alexis to brunch within walking distance of the loft and go out somewhere else for dinner.

The first doctor's visit on Monday was favorable and reassuring. Her doctor was pleased with her progress; and based on the new evaluation, he didn't foresee physical problems keeping her from returning to work in mid to late September or to full duty by mid to late October.

They'd had the car service drop them off a couple of blocks from the first doctor's office before the appointment, had a celebratory lunch at a popular restaurant a couple of blocks away afterward, did some window shopping in a busy part of town, and met the car service where the driver had originally dropped them off. Their plan was to expose Kate to enough city stimuli to gauge her reactions before keeping her appointment with a Doctor Carter Burke, who would be responsible for her psychological evaluation.

Arriving at home in time to freshen up before Kate's next appointment, Castle asked, "How did you feel? I could see that you looked antsy now and then…uncomfortable. Did anything else bother you…other than the waiter at lunch dropping the tray?"

"Loud noises. It's odd…because I don't remember hearing anything when I was shot. All I remember is turning toward you and then something that felt like the weight of a cannonball slammed into my chest. But now I hear a loud noise like the serving tray falling, and it reminds me of gunfire. Guns usually make noise."

"You have to tell Dr. Burke that. I know you want to get back to work, but you said it yourself. Everybody depends on you to be a hundred per cent."

"I know, Rick, but it's so hard for me to admit to anybody but you that I may not be okay yet,"

He took her in his arms and held her close. "I'll go with you and hold your hand if you need me to."

"I think maybe I should see him alone first, but I might want to take a few minutes before I leave and have you come in and meet him. And I want him to know you can have access to my records if you think you need them."

"I love that you trust me that much."

"Always. Come on. I don't want to be late for my first session."

As Kate expected, Dr. Burke suggested that a few more sessions might be advisable before she returned to work. She asked that he meet her husband before they ended their session and Castle came in for the last few minutes.

"I'm proud of you," Castle told her as they left. "You faced that like the kick-ass detective that you are."

"But I didn't like it at all."

"And that makes it even more impressive."

Kate made an appointment for the following week. Alexis went back to the beach house with them for the rest of that week, and they moved back to the city the following weekend. It was time to get Alexis ready for school, Kate ready for work, and life back to normal.