Prologue - What I Want

Again, the alarm clock rings. A deafening noise that is impossible to ignore.

Just like every day, I wake up and get out of my bed.

Turning off the alarm, I check the time on my cell phone: 6:40 in the morning.

Another day begins. Leaving the house, after putting on my school uniform, I head to school. The weather is very cloudy, pleasant, and fresh, a late winter weather.

I get there around 7:00 am.

My school is not very big. In fact, it is as normal as can be.

As I pass through the entrance, I run into some students who are heading to their respective classrooms.

Passing through the corridors, with several people entering their classes, I find my class, third year of high school. It's already the second time I've done it this year; it's kind of boring to see everything being passed over again.

Upon entering, I see several groups of people talking to each other about unimportant matters; they seem happy even for a Monday.

It would be nice if I tried to make more friends; maybe I will when I go to college, if I ever have one.

I sit at my desk, which is on the left side of the room, flush with the wall.

It is a very large room; I would say that there are about fifty people studying in my room, but every day someone is absent. I wonder if I should start missing more...

No, no... I can't fail again.

The blackboard, the wall, the ceiling, and the floor are all white, saving a lot on paint in this regard.

The lights are white and bright, capable of waking anyone who is still half asleep.

And to the right of the room are windows that show the cloudy gray sky.

The year is almost over; it would be very embarrassing for me to repeat it for the third time in a row, but I think I have no more salvation.

The teacher finally arrives in class. It takes people a while to be quiet, but finally the class starts.

Hours and minutes pass slowly and tediously.

I didn't pay attention to almost anything the teachers said...

In the last class, the math teacher takes a folder from his backpack that is full of papers.

"I already corrected your test; when I say your name, you come get it." an old and tired voice. I wonder how much his salary must be for him to be so unmotivated every day.

After he hands the test to several students, he calls me over.

I get up from my chair and head over to his desk. I already have my note.

[Grade: 1.0]

I was never exceptional at anything. In elementary school I got average grades, but after I started high school my grades were terrible.

Although I think math is not a very easy subject, so I think it's even common.

Maybe I even made a profit; I didn't even study.

Returning to my desk, I sit down and wait for the professor to finish handing out the tests.

Some people celebrated their grades; others just picked them up and went back to their wallets. Apparently, the same as always took high marks.

Finally, the bell rings, and I finally leave for my house.

Arriving home, I realize that no one is there. It is not a large residence; as soon as I enter, I see the living room on my right and beyond that, the kitchen. To my left are the stairs that lead to the rooms above.

As usual, I leave my bag on the table in the living room and head to the kitchen. Opening a cupboard in search of lunch, I only see one meal I have the ability to make.

Instant noodles. It's not that bad to be honest; the only downside is that it causes cancer, at least that's what the internet says...

Heating the water, cooking the pasta, finally putting it on the plate, and seasoning it. A meal almost fit for a king: chicken-flavored instant noodles!

I have to eat this soon.

I have work to do in a little while, so I better hurry.

Although it doesn't look like it, I live with my late mother's friend, so I kind of owe her one.

My mother died when I was very young, and my parents were always older than most. My father eventually got a girlfriend; the problem was that this woman didn't like my presence.

When my father died, she kicked me out of the house, so I had to find a place to stay. That happened when I was 14. Nowadays, I'm 19.

To be honest, my parents never gave me a good education. My father only worked and my mother too, so I was always with a relative working as a nanny.

Going upstairs, I go to my room, and I change out of my school uniform and put on more casual clothes instead.

A black shirt and blue sweatpants. I also get the key to the locker I use at work.

Looking out the window, I see that it's a fine drizzle.

Maybe I'd better take an umbrella.

Leaving the house, I go to a convenience store. It's a relatively small store. It has several products and is very spacious, with several shelves with different products, from food to cleaning products.

This is the store I work at; it's not too bad.

One person works with me, a girl called Ester. She is a year older than me; her hair is long and black, but on her face, she wears a fringe cut to her forehead. Her eyes are brown, her skin is fair, and she is very thin. Her nails are black, and she also wears black earrings. If I didn't know her well, I'd say she's goth...

Entering the store, I see her at the counter, messing with her cell phone, very distracted. She notices my presence and looks up at me.

"Hey." she, with her relaxed voice, says, and soon after goes back to playing with her cell phone with an expression of boredom.

"What's up? How are you?" I ask and step inside the counter to my right.

I go to the back of the store; there is a closet to leave our things. Using the key I grabbed earlier, I grab my uniform and get dressed in the bathroom.

The uniform is a black shirt and a red mini-vest.

I punch the clock and return to the store. I sit in a chair behind the counter, waiting for a customer.

"With me, everything is the same as always." she says.

"Too much college work?" I ask.

"Don't even remind me about it... Teachers are killing me..." she replies looking quickly at me.

"It must be tense... What are you studying at college?" I ask with a nervous smile on my face. She has told me this many times, but it seems that my brain does not want to keep this information.

"Philosophy, didn't I already tell you?" She says a little irritated looking at me.

"I'm sorry, hehe..."

"And you? Have you decided which college you are going to go to?" I'm taken aback by this question Ester asks, yet she doesn't take her eyes off her phone.

"To tell you the truth, no. I'm not good at anything in particular; maybe a military career is my destiny."

"Sorry!? Military career? You? It's easier to get lightning on your head, hahaha!" I don't think even if I told my best joke, she would laugh, but this was able to make her laugh...

"Well, it's just... Honestly, my childhood dream was to be a police officer, so I think it would be a good idea for me to try." I say this a little embarrassed.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting this; sorry for laughing... But why exactly do you want this? Like, wouldn't trying to get into college be better?" She stops fiddling with her phone and looks at me.

"I've always thought it was cool to be a kind of hero, and since superpowers don't exist, I thought being a police officer would be as close as I could get to being a hero." I say.

"If you want to be a "hero", you should first have an athletic body. Why don't you do some kind of training or something? It would be good for you." His expression is more relaxed now.

"I don't know; like I said, it's just a childhood dream. Nowadays, I don't want that anymore." I look out of the store as I speak. The drizzle slowly starts to turn into a downpour.

"I understood. But if you don't want to be a cop, then what do you want?" She says this with a doubtful expression, like she's talking to a child.

What I want?

This is a question I never stopped to think about. I have always spent my time leisurely and having fun, without thinking about tomorrow.

"What do you want?" "How do you see yourself in 5 years?" "What is your dream?"

I always treated these types of questions as bullshit, but I never stopped to reflect on them. Maybe my real problem is that I don't have any goals.

I never had many friends, and when I did, they dropped out of school for random reasons. I didn't make friends because I couldn't, but because I didn't see the need to have one. And today, look what it turned into...

If before I didn't make friends because I didn't want to, today I don't make friends because I can't. All this neglect of socialization has made me isolated from others and lacking in the social skills to make friends.

Currently, Ester is the only person I can consider a friend.

I never cared much about studying; for me, it's a waste of time learning things you'll never use, and that's all school teaches. I just spent the year copying my friends' exams, and when they left, I found myself with no way out.

Thinking about my future is something I haven't done in a long time. I get home, and I only stay on the computer until it's night, and the cycle of waking up, studying, working, and sleeping repeats itself.

Why do I keep waking up every day?

If I start to think better about my future, maybe I still have a chance to have a life I'm proud of...

"I really don't know what I want, not yet. But I believe that someday I will know. You made me reflect on something I needed and didn't even know." I say this with a slightly happy expression.

"Okay, I guess?" She is clearly more confused than before.

"Okay, I've made up my mind!" I say this as I pull my cell phone out of my pocket.

"You made up your mind?" she says, even more confused.

"I will try to be a better person!" I speak with enthusiasm.

I open the virtual store on my cell phone and install the application "Six Pack in 30 Days."

This will be the beginning of a new stage in my life! Not in relation to the six-pack, but in relation to my health!

I, with a flirty smile, turn my phone over to her and show her that the app is installed.

"Hahahaha..." she laughs nonstop.

"So it is." I say this by turning off the phone and putting it in my pocket.

"Look… it's a start!" she exclaims.

After this long conversation, hours pass, and not a single soul visits this store!

Ester and I stayed talking about trivial matters for the rest of the hours.

The rain got a lot worse; it's stronger now, but it's not quite a storm. The sky is completely dark; it doesn't even look like it's afternoon. The noise of the drops is satisfying and relaxing.

Our shift is finally over. We clock out, and I change first and wait for her outside with my green umbrella. Taking the umbrella was a good decision.

She comes out of the store with her blue umbrella. She wears a cool shirt with prints of some rock band; I knew she was goth! Not only that, but she also wears dark blue jeans, carrying a small black purse as well.

"See you tomorrow." I say.

"Bye bye ." She says.

I follow her opposite path; I go left and she goes right. It's a small, flat street, and both paths have corners that turn north.

I walk to the corner, towards my house.

Until suddenly, I hear a scream coming from the right! It's definitely Ester!

I head out on a brisk walk, the way Ester took it. I'm sure she's turned the corner!

I spy what's going on, and there's a thief trying to get her purse!

What was I supposed to do in this situation?

If I pretend nothing happened, I'll have a bad conscience, and if I help, I might get a spanking!

My body shudders completely, and my heartbeat is accelerated.

I don't have time to think about it!

I turn the corner and start running towards the assailant, dropping my umbrella.

Ester looks back and is surprised by my presence. The assailant is unresponsive; now, looking closely, he seems to be someone older than me; he wears a black hood; I can't see his face clearly, but I see he has a beard!

I grab his belly, trying to get him to the ground, but he doesn't. He then puts his right hand on his waist, grabbing something under his blouse. I instantly let go, but it's too late!

Is that... a gun!

A point-blank shot, the gun's noise echoes in the silent street that doesn't stop raining. Now I can see that the assailant appears to be very scared.

I can see the man running, but I hit the ground before I could do anything.

I can't see anything but the sidewalk on the street next to me... I think I can hear Ester; she's scared screaming; her voice is slowly getting muffled; I can't pay attention to what she's saying, but she looks desperate...

My vision becomes blurry, I no longer have the strength to close my eyelids. Raindrops penetrate my eyes and make my vision worse.

All I feel now are the raindrops falling on my body... The sound of the rain still manages to be very present.

In fact, I can feel the wind blowing over my body. It is... icy, but at the same time, comfortable...

Everything is so... calm.

Wait, am I really going to die? I...

Just because I said I would change... Life is really unfair...

My vision starts to darken, and suddenly everything goes blank...

What is that noise? A bell?

No, it must be the sound of the ambulance sirens. Did they arrive so quickly, or is it my perception of time that is wrong?

I partially regain my vision.

"We are losing him!" Everything is very blurry, but I can make out some figures dressed in green with something white on their faces. I know... It must be the doctors.

Again, everything goes off.

I can hear a noise of something beeping repeatedly; it must be my vital signs... They are very weak...

This noise is getting weaker and weaker, each time beating slower and slower...

...

Suddenly... silence...

I can't hear anything else... See anything else... Feel anything else...

So this is death?

It's much quieter than I imagined...

It's a shame I left Ester behind...

I wish I had enjoyed it a little more. I wish I had at least finished that rubber pirate anime...

A small white dot sits in my "vision", if I can call it that.

What is that?

Suddenly, everything got warmer and more comfortable...

Is this heaven??

Impossible; I was never one to go to church.

The dot grows and takes over my entire vision at once.

My God, my eyes! Doesn't heaven have a dark mode?

Something seems strange...

I'm hearing something, like people talking, but my hearing is still muffled.

I can breathe!?

The feeling of air entering my nostrils is unmistakable!

I'm breathing!

My vision begins to darken and I finally manage to open my eyes.

Wait... Eyes?

I see two people, a man and a woman, but I still can't see their details, just their silhouettes. The lighting is very dim; my vision is still getting used to the brightness...

But somehow I'm alive!

How did this happen? I was dying!

Now it looks like I'm... lying down?

I lift my hands and realize something that seems impossible.

They are much smaller than they are!

I feel very comfortable where I am; I think it's a bed. I also seem to be covered with something really warm, maybe a blanket.

I put my hands inside the blanket; this is not my body!

I don't know what's going on, but I should be dead!

WAIT! Stopping to think...

Does that mean I REINCARNED?!