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Second chance: Not alone? Huh.

I really was in the past… So, what now? Another lifetime of wrongs, living like an animal, only to satisfy my base instincts? Another burnout, with dull emptiness inside? Yeah, sure, sounds fun for a while. *** “Knowing you, I can’t really feel surprised. But keep in mind that your choices affect all of us. It’s no longer just you. You are not alone.” Her words were quiet, but they hit me like a bag of sand. Not alone? Huh.

NameIsLife · Urban
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138 Chs

Crossroad.

That was a nice little distraction, huh. For no reason at all, I felt lighter, a bit more alive than just a few moments before even. And all it took was a simple human interaction. With no strings attached for a change of pace. The girl was a bit quirky, yes, but who am I to talk about people's weirdness?

When was the last time I really listened to another person? Even more so, someone I just met? My memory refused to give me an answer to this question. Long time ago, maybe never even. Perhaps, if I just listened to the people around me more…

A long sequence of 'fucking animal', 'you won't die a good death', 'I regret ever meeting you' and alike, went through my mind in a quick succession. Yep, not a great plan, haha.

While thinking about this stupid stuff, I moved my feet at a leisure pace, walking somewhere in the general direction of my apartment building. By now, I was pretty hungry, but the perspective of spending time alone in that barren shithole didn't appeal to me all that much.

"I forgot to buy smokes…" was the realization I came to fifteen minutes later or so. Eh, what can I do? No choice but to stay healthy for another day.

I took a look around, and, for a brief moment, wondered where my silent reverie brought me. I wasn't afraid of losing my way, at least not in this sense, with GPS and phone maps, no. Instead, it was a curious feeling of déjà vu. The surrounding view was hardly scenic, typical low-mid class apartment blocks. Roads, few trees. Rows of the same looking buildings. Nothing special in any way. Still, something bothered me, and it felt important for no reason.

I took another look, this time seriously paying attention to every little detail. It was a late Friday evening, slowly changing into Saturday night. There were quite a few passersby: people hurrying to parties, office dwellers returning home late from after job drinking, groups of teenagers looking around for a weed dealer. Few cars on the road, carrying their owners who know where. Once again, nothing special.

Another look around. This time with extra scrutiny. What could feel fishy in this situation? The group of teenagers? They didn't seem familiar to me, and, while some of them were acting rowdy, in a typical teenage bravado fashion, they weren't looking for trouble. Ignoring them.

A random passerby? Which one in particular? Too many variables.

Hm, one of the cars. It moved through my field of view for a third time in the last five minutes. And in a different direction every time at that. Am I a target? Not probable. I always had decent relations with the local criminal element. It's all about mutual benefit. They ignored what I was doing for the most part, I didn't actively cause trouble on their turf.

So, there is something going on in the vicinity. Something that is bothering locals, but not urgent and/or important to take immediate action. Now, that is interesting. This evening suddenly stopped looking as boring all of a sudden.

I started my stroll again, this time deliberately choosing a slow pace and paying attention to my surroundings, and juggling different possibilities. And then, I finally had seen it. A bit away from the intersection, previously hidden from my sight by the angle. And even if it wasn't, if I wasn't looking for every suspicious thing, I would just ignore it.

There stood a young woman, nothing special per se. She was pretty hot, yes, but it was a Friday night, plenty of hot girls around. From a first glance, she looked like any other nightclub visitor-to-be, waiting for her friends or date to pick her up. Bleached hair. Metric ton of makeup. Short dress. A light jacket draped over the shoulders in case it will be chilly later in the morning. If I just looked her over once, well, maybe twice since she was hot, and then went along with my business, I wouldn't notice what felt so sketchy about her either.

Honestly, it was disappointing in a way. She was looking for clients. Approaching drunkards that wobbled their way home. A good idea overall, they were an easy target with all the alcohol in their system, and were easy clients as well. How many of them would be able to even get hard? You just need to charge them upfront.

Boring. And I just raised my hopes for the possibilities. Hm, wait, if it was just any night worker, locals wouldn't be alerted. They know them all and have their own cut as well. Someone new to the business? Working without permission? Underage? Police bait?

As I was getting closer to the intersection, I kept paying attention to the girl. Either today was her unlucky night or she was awful at her job. Well, maybe up close, she was way less hot? So far, the only guy who took the bait, was a way-too-drunk dude, who tried to get handsy with her without any intention of paying, got slapped and was dragged away by his companion.

Hm, I wonder if she can cook? I wouldn't mind paying her to cook me a dinner, haha. I looked at my grocery bag where frozen stuff started to melt. Fuck. Seems like I drew a dud here. Should I just go straight home? Still, this strange sense of déjà vu kept bothering me.

It was at this moment when everything just clicked. Sketchy adult worker. Friday evening. Groceries. Boredom. Two stooges loitering a few buildings away from the girl, who kept looking towards her direction way too often to be subtle about it. Everything was checking out.

You see, it's all a cute little scheme. The girl serves as a bait and lure drunkards into an alleyway under the guise of… good time. Then two bozos over there follow them and mug the unlucky sod. Last time around, I took this bait, thinking about said good time. I had nothing better to do anyway. What a pleasant surprise it was, when two punching bags walked to me by themselves, eh. After taking care of them in a violent and almost… permanent way, my adrenaline and rage fueled mind registered frozen girl.

No clue why she didn't run away while I was busy, but, meh, who cares? I still could remember her terrified expression, her gaze so full of shock, the trembling of her body. The way she shuddered when I moved towards her. I could almost smell her fear, and it awoke something inside of me, something primal. She looked like a prey and was mine to take. And her consent? It was entirely optional…

I overstepped my bottom line that day. Not my proudest moment, I agree. But neither did I truly regret it, to be frank with you. I mean, if there was a way to redo it, correct my mistake, I would. Not because it was wrong, nor because I felt bad for her. Not really, and not from the bottom of my heart. Instead, I would do it to change all the things that this mistake entailed. I crossed my bottom line, I did a thing that had no way back from it. Since that day, something like that became an option, possibility, acceptable outcome. And it, in turn, did cost me dearly.

But there is no way to turn back time, eh… I froze. Redo all of that. Fix my mistake? This time around, ignore them, forget about everything, don't even think. One sin less on my Judgement Day. One happier life, not ruined by me. What a great deal, isn't it?

A familiar, by now, car of locals drove past me. Wait a minute. These three were working on someone else's turf, will the gang leave them alone for real? First time around, were they ignored because it was involving me? I saved someone by ruining their life, what a fucking joke. I felt my temples throbbing.

Figurative and literal, a crossroad was just before me. And I need to make a choice. All I need to do is turn left and go straight back home. Such an easy way out! Not my problem, why should I care? But, deep inside my mind, some treacherous part of my consciousness kept bothering me. Yeah, just ignore everything, it's what I did the first time around, a load of good it did for me, huh.