My Life is Really Shitty

"Come on, say it or I'll drop you!"

"I-I C-"

"Come on you punk, don't you want to live? Say it and I'll pick you back up."

"P-Ple-ase S-St-St-"

"Say it- Oh Shit!"

I...hated my life. Everyday was the same. Ever since I was a child, I could never have a moment of peace in this hellhole called Earth. Around until I was 7 years old, my parents argued a lot. My mother...she...was a nice person. I knew she cared for me. But my father... well he was different. He came home late and was always drunk. He never even acknowledged that I existed... Mom didn't like this so she argued with him, telling him to stop the drinking and staying out very late. That we have a son and he is setting a bad influence. That he should care about him. Of course dad didn't listen and did what he wanted. Sometimes, I'd hear mom crying in the room and it made me feel bad for her. Knowing she has to put up with this everyday.

One night, my mother had enough. She filed for a divorce and wanted to take me with her. Dad didn't take this lightly though. The next night, he came home. It was peaceful. Mom was watching tv and I was reading a book. Dad came in with a very stern look. Mom greeted him and I continued reading my book but this moment I wouldn't know would be the last time I ever saw my parents. He set down his things and reached for his bag. He pulled out an object I couldn't make out what it was because I couldn't see it that well. But I immediately recognized it the second I saw him pointing it at mom. My heart felt like it took steroids and was running fast. I was scared and helpless as I watched him pull the trigger and unload the clip on my mother... I screamed as he continued until the clip was out. Blood coated the white couch and a dead silence filled the room. He had turned to me, who was scared shitless, and had grabbed a sharp object which looked to be a knife. He walked towards me until the door was busted open, almost knocked off its hinges. Police flooded the room as I watched them shoot my dad in the legs and cuff him. The neighbors must've heard the gunshots and called the cops.

I was taken to the station to be asked questions as to why my dad killed mom. After, dad got arrested leaving me to have to be taken in by foster parents. They were no better. They also fought and fought until my foster mom walked out leaving me with my foster dad a year later. My foster dad couldn't take care of me either, so he left me on the streets alone. I was about 8 at the time and definitely couldn't take care of myself.

5 years passed as I lived homeless on the streets. I had met a group of other homeless men and they basically became my new family. We always shared food that they made from random people dropping in change and they were really kind. But as my luck had it, they all became sick... I didn't get sick because they protected me by sending me away since the unknown disease was contagious. I came to visit every month since it happened. But one by one, they passed away. This time, I couldn't do anything but just sit and cry as my life once again went downhill. All three of the families I knew...were gone. I honestly wanted to die... I didn't want to live anymore.....

I tried to commit suicide. I couldn't deal with this pitiful life anymore and wanted to be free. But someone stopped me. An old woman. Who saw me, a 13 year old boy, about to stab himself with a makeshift knife. She..changed my life. My mindset. I would've gone through with killing myself..if it wasn't for her. She had told me something that I would remember for the rest of my life.

"Giving up on life won't save you from all of the things that had gone wrong because it will haunt you forever. That's why you have to make good memories that will overpower the horrible ones and replace them. Even if you can't forget it, having a good time is way better than having a bad one. You should never give up on trying to live your best life. Even if things don't seem great now, you have to believe they will get better by bearing through the pain. That's what makes an individual mentally strong."

Those words had took a toll on me for the next two years. After I had met that woman, she had took me in and took care of me. Her name was Mali. We had grew really close over the time. Once I turned 15, she decided to enroll me in the public school nearby.

This is how I ended up here. Falling off the roof of the school building. Reflecting on my life and how shitty it was.