Ch43 - Festive Carrion
I sent 5 samples of each to Ngozi's tattoo parlour of course, but I arranged a mushroom circle to just drop it off at his shop. Coming back, I removed the mushrooms and ate them myself, getting rid of the mushroom circle.
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Morning came and I spent my night making random weapons, with my ability to see flaws in anything, improving myself has been simple. I'll make a standard sword, just for my own ability to call me unskilled and that the sword should be able to cut through buildings if I did it properly.
"Hey Lae'zel, I forgot to mention yesterday but I also got two bags of holding. So we can use the Orphic hammer if you want to, but we can always go for the other method." I show her two empty bags of holding.
"I see, we shall use the Orphic hammer to free him. The only issue with that is we have no way to get back to him. Tsk!" She complained.
"Don't worry about it, I can probably make something for that." My [Missing item] cooldown is over, and there is only one thing that can travel the planes so easily.
I set up my environment, this time it expanded with enough room for 4 mansions, the circle was just as big. First I threw in 100oz of regular ink, next I used [Missing item] to summon an entire Nautiloid.
Immediately everyone in the room turned to look at this, on edge and completely confused. I ignored them, even when Jaheira started complaining about mages and their weird magics. Once again it only took a minute for the nautiloid to crumble where it stood, tentacles climbed out from the mass and joined the ink together to create a:
[Nautiloid ink -
Ritual infused ink. The illithid inter-realm transport has divulged its powers into simple ink, granting it new unheard of properties.
Nautiloid - Ink portals, ink armoury of 3 ballista, 1 catapult, 1 jettison and 1 battering ram.
Features: The sacrifice of an entire nautiloid is impressive, thus the ink is powered for force damage (4d6). Any illithid tattoos are powered up by +100%.
Additional effect: Mindflayer pod - capturing something in this up to level 16, will completely trap them unable to get out.]
I then fused it to my ink bag, and I thought of perfect additional effect for the bag. [Bound to Charles]. I didn't want anyone stealing it after all.
"Hey Lae'zel we can go see Orpheus if you want, I've got ink portals." The entire group was stood around in a half-circle confused as to how an intact nautiloid got here. "Told you guys I got good at crafting." The next few minutes was followed by a large array of questioning, mainly "What was that?!", but Minsc asked if I could give Boo a nautiloid. I kind of bullshitted my way into telling everyone that this just happens when you're good enough at something.
The hype settled down but I was still getting weird looks, so when Lae'zel asked to go free Orpheus I obliged. I pulled out a bottle of ink and scattered it in the air, the ink froze vertically creating a large, purple, starry portal. I stepped in first and immediately saw the most confused looking githzerai man there could be.
Lae'zel and the rest then followed through and filled in the astral prism. Karlach walked over to Lae'zel and passed her the hammer, "Would you like to do the honours?". Lae'zel smiled, her razored teeth showing themselves to us. She walked towards the first crystal and swung down the hammer, crushing it into dust. The shield visibly weakened and Orpheus was only held up by one arm now, she all but sprinted over to the next one diving at it in glee.
Just like before it cracked and powdered, the shield started cracking and collapsing in on itself, with Orpheus on his hands and knees in the middle.
"Jhestil Orpheus!" Lae'zel ran to him and offered a hand to help him up, I think I saw Astarion fall over once and she kicked him.
"You, you all freed me. You sacrificed the very being who could save your minds from ceremorphosis just to advance yourselves to saving me. For that you have my thanks." Orpheus spoke, his voice deep and powerful, yet there was still pain and sorrow in his voice.
I walked towards him and rested my finger on his forehead, I used [Undiagnose] to remove his ailments. There wasn't many though, testament to his strong will of mind. "That feel better?" I asked.
"Yes, yes it does." He stood up now, bones clicking and cracking as he did so. He's been here for countless eons, the astral plane moves differently through time than the material plane does.
The party updated him on everything, meeting Gortash, the netherstones, killing Loroakan and a variety of other events. In the end he seemed to relax for a moment, "My main goal is to retrieve the throne from Vlaakith, however, for the steps you have taken for me, I will assist you against the Netherbrain first."
With the agreement in place, we all walked back through the portal into the elfsong taven room. It was there that most of the group wanted the day off, so it was just: me, Wyll, Shadowheart and Karlach. Lae'zel would've came but she wants to learn from Orpheus apparently.
So we walked off to go find Thrumbo, as he's done something evil according to the obviously evil mummy lord. I simply used scrying to find out where he is, an investigation like this is too much for a first day back in Baldurs gate. So we all headed to the beach, got some fresh fish and killed some rampaging Sahuagin. I obviously took their bodies, I can use them to make a water-breathing apparatus, not for me though.
We kicked down the door to a random beach house and started knocking on the wardrobe next to where the door used to be. Immediately a decaying man fell out, screaming about how they caught him at last.
"Thrumbo, chill out man" I patted his shoulder, [Moral Booster] and [Undead ally] immediately came over him and he visibly relaxed.
"Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were with Carrion." He spoke, his half-decomposed throat making his voice raspy and partially gurgling.
"He did send us to get you, as you had something important to him apparently. But you know, he's literally a mummy lord, why on earth would we trust him?" I spoke in response.
"Me? Oh I'm sure, I bet he just wants to get rid of me, since I'm his 'property' after all. Say I tell you what, Carrion showed me the trick to his immortality, if you help me get rid of his mini-phylacteries then I'll give you something good." He then explained how to defeat him, we have to destroy his organ jars. Apparently the locations of them all were listed in a book in Carrion's basement.
I held up my hand to stop everyone from running over and sneaking into the mansion. I just threw out some nautiloid ink and walked into a portal to the basement. Everyone else sighed in defeat and walked through, all apart from Thrumbo, he stayed back out of caution. As soon as we were far enough to not smell Thrumbo, I activated [Edited smell] to smell like a honeysuckle flower.
I started looking over all of Carrion's work, the book detailing his jar locations was the only thing of value he has. All his work felt like common knowledge to me, I wasn't specialised in necromacy, but flesh crafting was something that can replicate it even better.
I memorised the book contents and me and the party started warping between the locations, torching them where they were. The brain, protected by a horde of undead, was even easier as I simply told them to pass it to me. Now with the brain in my possession, we only have the heart left.
We appeared before Thrumbo once more, telling him the details of our adventures, but mainly the location of the heart.
"I knew it! My chest shouldn't be beating!" He immediately grabbed his knees and started heaving heavily and slowly, it took a while but he finally spewed up a jar with a heart in it. Karlach raised her hammer to crush it without hesitation, but I stopped her.
"I can use this for our own use as well, hold back, if this works it'll be good." I placed the heart on the floor along with 100oz of ink, I used the ritual to create a:
[Bestial ink - Mummy Lord]
And I fused the brain to my cane sword/staff, giving it a good bonus.
[Dark weapon of the war caster -
New feature: Anything you attack with this for the first time will be surprised.]
Additional effect: Extra 1d6 damage against mummy type enemies.]
"Perfect, sorry about the delay, just had to make sure I'm getting everything I can out of it." A mummy lord bestial ink will definitely sell well, there are limited mummy lords in the world and therefore even less people who would turn the heart into a tattoo.
"Let's finish this cat and mouse game once and for all." Wyll chimed in, brandishing his rapier in the air.
"Come on then soldiers" Karlach was already marching towards Carrion's manor, not interested in teleporting again apparently. The walk over was weird, holding weapons out prepared for battle as we walked past random streets on the way was overkill. I even stopped by and used sacrilegious blood on a dead tree a druid was praying at, it sprouted a single leaf.
Coming through the hidden side door, we kicked open the grand mansion doors to face Carrion in his abode. "Don't say a word, I can smell the stink of Thrumbo on you. I thought we were likeminded, you even brought a reinforcement to slay me. I cannot be killed you fools! I am Immortal!" With that, that ghasts and ghouls charged us. I used myself as a human shield, every single slash into me, Carrion called out and screamed for them to stop. They did back off eventually, but Carrion was maimed brutally, eye loss, amputated and bleeding from every orifice possible.
"Go for the others, I'll deal with him myself." He reached into a drawer in his desk and used a stack of 'Aid' scrolls, the only healing spell to affect undead. Preparing for the battle, I pulled out a litre of sacrilegious blood and scattered it around me.
Behind me, the three were burning through a horde of ghouls. So I gave some support and summoned 6 band members, they flew out of my lighter and the image of Cazador and some ghouls appeared with bad equipment.
"This is it!
Now we've found it, I'm astounded
Every town will be surrounded by a throng of marching dead!
Delicious the riches, they glisten ahead."
Immediately, some of the ghouls drop dead and join in on the harmony. The party should be capable dealing with them now with the support, I turn my focus to Carrion now. I see him preparing a sickly green spell and fire it at me, a dethrone spell to be exact. I didn't even bother moving and it simply fizzled out on my chest. [Immunity to necrotic damage].
I flicked out some sacrilegious blood towards him, burning him on contact. I follow it up by casting a vine whip, through my tattoos, a caustic black whip sliced at him cutting across his chest. "You ignorant cur! You may damage me but I cannot be killed!" He sent 6 magic missiles at me, I braced for the impact and each one hit with the force of a semi-truck. I felt my arms bruise and break under the pressure, I will be useless with anything with my hands.
I switched tactics and used Ichor and the Nautiloid ink to trap him in a perpetually burning inescapable box. I whipped out a gallon of ichor and stuck it to his body, his concentration on his next spell disappearing. Then I encased him in the nautiloid ink, effectively trapping him indefinitely. The screams of pain and mercy rung out through the pod, slamming his ashen fists against the pod walls until he finally crumpled into charred bones. I dismissed the ink and turned to see my companions finishing off the last ghast.
"You guys done on your end?" I use sacrilegious blood to heal my arms, using the [ink membrane] to do so. They nodded, splayed out on the floor panting and heaving, "Perfect, I'll heal you up and send you back home, leave the cleanup to me." I healed them and sent them off, Shadowheart was the only one who was fine thanks to using turn undead to avoid damage.
With the house to myself, I created a series of new bestial inks: ghast, ghoul and human. The large pile of dead humans were something I only took a heart from, regular stuff of that variety is too weak for anything important. Instead, I called in the nearby guards to gather the corpses so they can receive a proper burial.
They only found the humans and a pile of black bones, the undead minions were what I used myself. I warped to the tattoo parlour and gave them 10 of each new ink for them to try out, I doubt the human one will sell well but there's always someone.
With that, I warped back to camp. Everyone was sat around the hookah and relaxing, the people who stayed were being told of the story with carrion. I used [Custom Tattoos] to create a bestial tattoo of a mummy lord. Due to my [Quality tattoo], an actual animated projection of Carrion appeared, though it made no noise I could control its actions.
We went downstairs into the tavern itself and had a great celebration night, we were joined by a mass of civilians trying to distract themselves from the absolute. Every time I was passed a drink, I poured it into my bag, I can't get drunk and most of it tastes awful. I might as well use it to make an unending bag of alcohol.
The night didn't when the tavern did, as nothing stopped the Blushing mermaid from closing. We all partied through the streets, my band members playing 'Rockstar' by Post Malone, only made better by the fact Gortash was the lead singer with the steel watch as backup.
We made it to the blushing mermaid and everyone got carried away by the festivities. I even saw Karlach throwing bottles angrily through the Gortash ghost; Jaheira, Wyll and Halsin were nowhere to be seen, not their crowd for the most part.
I used my illusions to create lights and a stage for the band, all intangible but the people went crazy for it. I saw the man the myth the legend, Bunt Chugley drink an entire firewine barrel in one, Shadowheart was found locked in a drinking contest with Lae'zel. One thing I did especially was shift the band member forms to match the song, 'Cherry bomb' was Orin, 'Fly me to the moon' was Raphael and 'Take me to church' was Ketheric.
Finally, the night ended when people started throwing up and passing out. There was a vile amount of sick, but I had an even more vile idea of what to do with it. I used it to create an 'unending bag of vomit', eventually, someone will realise I get my ink from my bag, so I can give them that instead.
Once I warped my friends back home, I put everyone into the recovery position at the bar. Whilst I did so, I noticed a large amount of hooded men and women in the mix that carried daggers. I can only guess these Bhaal worshippers came to investigate the illusion of Orin singing her lungs out, so I took their knives to smelt down and sell as better weapons.