Ch19 - Thorms

In the end I got Isobel's blessing as well, I felt like it was just necessary at this point. My lamp was in my bag, my ink guardian and my Bheur hag was summoned, so I was ready to go into the shadowlands.

I went by coast, there was less chance of being asked why my lamp looked weird and why a hag was with me. "I think we should freeze the children and eat their limbs, their bones might be small but we can pick them out!" Unsurprisingly, most hags are like this and I just have to sigh when they talk. However, you can get useful information about stuff like ice-magic from them.

We carried on forth, flowers grew under the light and trees nourished. I'm sure I met Cegilune and not Silvanus, but we'll see. We carried on until we came upon a great victorian hospital. I stepped forwards only to be stopped by an undead lady covered in bandages, not a mummy, just undead.

I'm beginning to think I should rework my order of exams, it seems everything I meet or will meet is undead. Cazador, zombies, plants, Carrion, nurses. Plus there are undead mind flayers and undead ooze.

The nurse began to speak, "I'm sorry, our doctor isn't free at the moment. That is unless you are really poorly, are you?" I looked over at the hag who was preparing a freezing ray.

"No we're with the potion suppliers, we were told there would be ingredients here." I gave a customer service smile and smacked the Bheur hag on the back of the head.

"Oh of course, we are desperately low on potions, please follow me, our ingredients are over on the left wing." She turned and started guiding us to a small room with a manner of medicinal herbs growing, I think I saw some weed as well, but I'm immune to poison now so that's a shame.

"Thank you very much I'll get started now" Once she left I started shovelling all the plants into my bag, I should have enough for a few months with this lot.

"Why aren't we just killing them already? They're weak and have nothing to offer!" The bheur hag questioned.

"Because it's easier this way, if you want to kill them you can, but not yet."

We walked forwards through the hall, straight to the operating theatre. Empty rows of chairs lined the room and in the middle was Malus Thorm performing a craniotomy with his squadron of nurses.

"Ah marvellous, a new learner! Or perhaps a patient? Please tell us! We're dying of suspense." I think I saw a bit of his skin fall off as he said that. Nevertheless, he noticed me and made a big show of it too. Quite frankly, I know there's a chance I can get him to kill hisself and his nurses but I'm itching for a fight. The last time I fought was through the mountain pass nearly a month ago.

"Bheur, do as you like to them." On my command Bheur released a sleet storm upon them. I followed by casting vicious mockery on Malus, 5 times I did this, and I could see his head cracking slightly every time I called him a 'pig faced snot licker'. With my double damage and the 20% bonus, vicious mockery does 20dmg each in game terms.

I couldn't think of anything else to say and just used firebolt to finish him off. His nurses were easier, they kept slipping on the ice so I walked over to them and killed them with my hands, quick and easy.

The patient on the other hand, I offered a quick death with my dagger. It would be cruel if I just left him to die slowly after all, but mainly I just wanted his lute. It looked the exact same as mine but it would wake up that fire fist mercenary, that Halsin is obsessed with.

But I wasn't done exploring just yet, and I need to stall more time so I can get my undead exam and my illithid exam in before the final fight. So I go to the tollhouse next, I'm going to kill all of the Thorms ideally. Passing by the blabbering skulls I ascend the stairs and approach the golden fool by a window ledge.

"Ah! To pass the tollhouse one must- Ahhhhh" I immediately shove her out of the window, I never liked her and this method always worked for me. It wasn't too much longer that we cleared up the skulls leaving patches of flame and ice on the floor.

Next, The Waning Moon pub awaited me, housing my favourite of the Thorms, Thisobald Thorm. He's the only one who just wants to drink and laugh, also the undead in the bar are good targets for research.

Approaching the bar, a gargantuan man with a stomach so large it splits at the seems turns to me and says, "Drink! Wet your whistle! Tell your story!" His curse addled mind has brought him down to such a sorry state truly. Nevertheless, I want to make this quick but nice for the poor man. I figure, if I just carry on drinking, he'll match me but die from it.

And so I lift my mug of ale made for a giant and take my time drinking the entire thing. As expected he matched it, he stumbled back a bit and his stomach parted further, but no death. "Good ale, anyways how about when I robbed the devil Raphael clean dry? It's where I got this amulet from after all"

"Sneaky devils, always scheming!" His speech was even slower now and his bright blue eyes beginning to grey. He got me a new giant's mug and we both drunk, tilting back to down the beer I caught sight of his expanding stomach. Dropping my ale, I ducked under the bar and watched as a jet stream of ale shot out and split a zombie in half.

Standing back up, Thisobald's visceral remains lay there. Now that he's been seen to I go around the zombies trying to get a pseudo-interview out of any of them.

"So the barkeep died what are your thoughts?"

"Stay away from the stage it's my time to shine."

"Interesting, and what about your temporal love that just fell out of your exposed skull?"

"Stay away from the stage it's my time to shine."

Needless to say that the zombies were not the best responders, but the loot on the floor was good enough. I also took a book wedged under the floorboards, because there's some necromancer that wanted it for something.