chapter 1: preps

Finally!" I've been working extremely hard to get ready for this from the start of summer break until the end, but damn, I don't have a dress, and I have no idea what I want to wear or what style I'm actually going for. Hopefully Lizzy could work her magic by being a good best friend of course, I thought smirking...not that I cared anyways, I face palmed myself. Urgh! The outfit wasn't really important to me, but you probably get what I ean.

Who wouldn't want someone to fuss over them, right? But as they say, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. I wish my mom was here with me. Even though it may sound crazy, I still kind of wish upon a star hoping she would change her mind. Turning 18 does not seem to get any better than this. I've moved past the stage where I wish Santa could send my mother to me.

I tearfully ask my mother, "Mom, where are you?"

Growing up with my dad, I am confident that he is doing his very best to be a good father. Inwardly, I sigh.

He has always been there for me—almost like my shadow—whibest.ometimes be a hassle, I chuckle.But kind of like my rock, if you know what I mean, like cooking for me, dropping me off at school, teaching me how to ride a bike, and trying to make homemade meals, which by the way, I advise everyone not to try out my dad's cooking even for something as simple as pasta... he could just stick to the toaster. I love him regardless, anyway, and in every way, even though I sometimes feel like he's hiding something from me, I smile to myself.

Then, I hear someone make a loud throat clearing motion, perhaps to grab my attention. I blush embarrassingly and look up to see my best friend smirking and staring at me intently. She probably knows that I was thinking about my mother, so she shouldn't say anything smartass. I yell from inside my head, "Give me a break!"

She continued to smirk while expressing a hint of worry in her eyes. "So in a matter of minutes you've shouted, sighed, blushed, and had the nerve to look at me cluelessly like I wouldn't catch on to the fact that you were thinking of your Mum again."

I close my locker with a raised eyebrow and turn around while leaning against it, giving Lizzy the "seriously" look.

I simply said, "Well hello to you to," avoiding her worrying questions and looks. "I love my best friend, but sometimes she can be such a pain in the ass, such a mother hen, I chuckle to myself covertly so she won't catch on," I continued.She gave me a hug while glaring at me and then smiling broadly at me after realizing that I was trying to change the subject.

"You are just trying to avoid the subject so I'm just going to let it drop so how are you cute best friend,"

she said after catching on to my attempt to do so and completely missing the fact that I had just chuckled at her expense. I ponder with my brows raised, "like bipolar lot,"

"So how is your preparation going and your dress?"

she asks, wriggling her brows at the dress part. She is about to have a shocking surprise.I try my hardest not to seem awkward and stupid because she always assumes I'm a moron, but I fail, so I simply smile at her in the hopes that she'll get the point. "Uhm...about that...you see..uhm," I say.

"You don't have a dress yet!?" She added, "I'm surprised," and the scared look on her face almost made me laugh out loud, but I restrained myself since I know how seriously she takes appearance. She can be overly dramatic, but she is my best friend, and I don't think I'll want her any other way. I sigh internally, thinking that was so corny; perhaps leaving high school has made me so cliche. Before queen dramatic chose to derail my train of thinking, Again. I start to scoff in my head.

"So why didn't you ask me, you know I could've helped, you know that's my area of expertise, dumbozo?"

She said with a twirl, and I rolled my eyes at the dumbozo comment, "like seriously she did not just say that" I think chuckling slightly.

When the bell rings, we know it's time to go to our classes.

"And I know you were thinking about your mother when I arrived, and don't take this the wrong way, sweetie, but your mother must be a loser not to realize the gene of perfection she has released into the world, and if she wants to miss out on you becoming and growing into this amazing young woman, it's her loss, not yours."

Lizzy says seriously, with a shrug and a shake of her brown hair, which makes me feel a lot better.

"I know, but I just miss her and wish she could be a part of this journey, you know, My Journey," I say, sadly whispering out the last part.

"Well, she's gone, and we have to get to class before the last bell, and then we're going to the mall." Lizzy is excited about going to the mall....I, for one, am not. I can't seem to find anything that makes me look less plain and more of you catch my drift.

"Yay," I say sarcastically.

"Don't be like that Scar, I promise to make it worth your while," she says with a suggestive grin that still doesn't get me excited about the prospect of a torturous day at the mall, then she huffs and says "I'll buy you chocolate," and she has my full attention just by saying that.

"The love of my life," I say with a dreamy look, which causes Lizzy to laugh and shake her head at me, as if to say, "Who doesn't like chocolate?" I think seriously to myself.

"All right, lover girl, I'll see you after class; please don't be late." She walks away, saying s. I met Lizzy when I started out as a new student, she was also new, I was nervous you know being the new kid and all but Lizzy held my hands and saw me through all that bullying of new and shy students, I recommend her to anyone and everyone, right from when I came here for sophomore year she has kinda always been there for me, I met Lizzy when I started out as a new student, she was also new, I was nervous you know being the new kid and all but Lizzy held my hands and saw me through all the bullying of new and shy students, I was the shy type, but Lizzy was the straight to the point and outgoing type, we were both fourteen at the time, same birth months but different dates.I'm still a virgin, not a prude people, but Lizzy lost her v card when she was sixteen with one of the popular kids in school, he once tried to get to me but I never gave him a second glance, not that he had a chance from the start, I think smirking to myself.

Lizzy is stunning with her long brown hair, smooth fair skin, red cherry heart shaped lips, long legs, tall about 5'6 and a very nice shape, more like every guy's dream. And I'm just a plain Jane, you know, the average black hair and fair milky skin, can't blame me, dad said my mother was Irish, I'm more average height not too tall 5'5, pink lips and always wore glasses, always wanted to give the students at school the impression that I was a nerd, which I wasn't. Just to avoid too many people and the high school drama, like a thank you,next situation, if you know what I mean.

Rushing down to my class so I won't be late, it was the usual, most students weren't paying attention, they were all talking about graduation and prom, only a few days left, I think to myself, hoping that everything goes perfectly.

When the bell rang, I dashed to my locker, dropped my books, and dashed out to meet Lizzy, who was already waiting for me. Does she ever get tired?

"You don't get tired, do you?" I asked, trying to concoct an excuse for us to skip the mall and just stay at home and watch Netflix and chill...with ice cream, sighing.

"No, I can't and won't give up on you, you're a disaster waiting to happen," she says, popping the p and acting dramatic about the disaster.

"How dare you?" I say, trying to look horrified. "Well, mind your speech, but I was told by a very amazing person today that I was amazing, and I totally agree with that." I try to imitate a British accent, which doesn't work very well because I'm bad with accents.

Well...you have to prove to that very amazing person that you are truly amazing, so get your lazy butt into the car, we're driving to the mall, then to your house, I texted my mom a few minutes ago that I'm going to sleep over at your house, fortunately I always have extra clothes, so get in the car." She gave me a command and ushered me into the car.

We drove to a mall not far from my house, things weren't too expensive, so it was fine for people like me, even though Lizzy's father owns a hotel and many more, and her mother owns a spa, she was actually a spoilt and pampered brat, I think laughing to all the times she got really depressed whenever she wasn't told she couldn't get something she really wanted, I sometimes wonder how we are still friends,My father owns a small grocery store, but he always gives me the best.

We entered a clothing store and were greeted and welcomed warmly by the beautiful lady at the reception, we asked for the gown section and I also mentioned the cheaper section but Lizzy insisted we go for high class, I tried telling her that I didn't have enough on my credit card but she insisted that she will do me the honor of paying for any gown I chose, did I mention that I loved her so much?, if I didn't, well now I do.

We searched the entire store and many other stores, but I couldn't find anything to my liking. Fortunately for Liz, she discovered a very beautiful and sexy dress, a navy blue lace midi dress.

It was so lovely that I almost gave up looking for my own until one dress caught my eye: a Handless emerald green midi gown.

"Wowed", Lizzy caught me staring at the gown and said we were taking it regardless of the price.

We paid the receptionist and then drove to my house.

We eventually arrived at my house, which was a three-bedroom apartment with a bathroom in each room. The other room served as a guest room. The living room and dining room are separated from the kitchen by a kitchen counter. My room was close to my father's and the other one was a guest room.

Liz whined loudly and theatrically, "Scar, I'm ravenous," when we came home, after taking care of our personal hygiene and changing our clothing.

I said, "Well, I agree, let's make some sandwiches and get some ice cream from the store down the street."

Liz yelled excitedly, "Yippie!" and bounced around like a nine-year-old kid.

We made quick sandwiches and ate them before going for a walk to the ice cream shop to enjoy the evening breeze and the sunset over the horizon, we moved to Chicago when I was nine years old, such a wonderful city, we lived on the outskirts of the city in a small town called Dunning, which is actually quite nice.

We were going to yogen fruz, which isn't too far from my house.

"Hey Liz, what are your plans for college?" I inquired, surprised that I had never asked before.

"Well, I haven't really figured that out yet, I'm so confused, and still thinking and weighing out my options," Liz said smiling. "I know your dad is going to get you into one of the best colleges the states have to offer," I smiled back. "Nah, I don't need their help this time, I need to start doing things on my own now, I'm going to be 18 soon, can't let them do things for me all the time anymore," Liz said

"I see someone is maturing, that would be nice, no more bratty attitudes," I chuckled.

"Yeah, whatever," she said, rolling her eyes and laughing along with me.

We arrived at Yogen Fruz, got our ice creams (I got vanilla chocolate ice cream and Liz got chocolate chip cookies dough ice cream), and were walking home when I felt like someone was watching us, or specifically me. I complained to Lizzy, but she said I was being paranoid, so I let it go.

Even though it was already 8:30 p.m. when we got home, my dad wasn't there. I checked my phone and saw his text, which read, "Hey sweetie, hope you had a great day at school and shopping, but i'm sorry I would be coming home late, don't wait up on me, I love you a bunch."

Every day, Dad finds a way to brighten my day.

I responded to his SMS by saying, "Okay, dad, I love you more."

We went to the living room, turned on the television, and began watching our favorite show, Victorious. I adore the characters, especially Jade, who is always authentic, just like my friend Liz. However, I adore Tori more because she is lovely and sensible, and Beck, how I swoon over him. We quickly made our way up to my room and devoured our ice creams as though our lives depended on it. As we dozed off, I kept thinking about my mom.